Chapter 7: Fuck It, Phuket

Chief Engineer Sybil and my daughter-niece Gidget, laughing quietly while chatting together, wade out of the water from around the grounded bow of EROS. On the beach, they stop, turning about, searching obviously. Sybil points at me, with her outstretched arm. They’re coming my way it appears.

Several small cook fires create nexus along the beach, with small groups at each. Gina, Flor, Sally, and Bebe are learning how NOT to roast wieners, at my fire. The flames consume many more wieners than the girls. The tricky wieners tend to slide off the greasy sticks, into the coals. My job is to dissuade desperate salvage attempts, calm frustrations, encourage neophyte cooks, and skewer on fresh wieners.

At another fire, Lindsay watches over two large pots, of different boiling herbs, adding more spices and water as needed. She is seldom alone. Humans and Goblins approach her toting small pails containing raw crustaceans and shell fish and leave with perfectly spiced, succulent and steaming, crabs, lobsters, shrimp and clams! Lindsay coaches what order the seafood enters the pot and when it should be lifted out again. Serves the accompaniment of ready to eat corn on the cob and potatoes, stewed in the same spicey brew.

The tenderizing pork in the boiling pot, fills vacancies on the rib grill.

Her group is constantly replenished with fresh and repeating faces.

The last, largest, and most popular fire, belongs to the many talented grillers. Quartered chickens, many varieties of colorful shish kabobs, thick steaks, sausages, and tender ribs, sizzle over red glowing coals.

Close behind, an entire spitted bullock slowly turns, bathed in flames, smoke, and shimmering heat. One of Sylvia’s amazing art mirages.

“Hi, Uncle Phil!” Gidget sniffs the air appreciatively. “Nice party? Sybil and I were just wondering, when do you want to get underway.”

“As soon as possible!”

“But Uncle Phil, everybody is having such a nice time!”

“Some of us have been busy working, and haven’t had a chance to eat yet!” Sybil pouts, “Everything smells so good! Can’t we wait till morning and leave in daylight? Don’t break up the party now!”

“It will be easier for Laura, if we wait till daylight. Be a shame to run aground again, because she can’t see in the dark.” Gidget pleads.

“You’re teasing me!”

“Well, yes, except we’re not teasing about we’re ready to depart whenever you decide. Take us about ... Sybil?”

“An hour, and we’ll be off the bottom, and starting out the channel.” Sybil states with confidence and pride. “Cause to celebrate now?”

“How? What did you ... I;m flabbergasted! How on earth?”

“Gidget came up with it. We flooded the bow completely. We checked our forward draft. EROS’ bow has sunk deeper by nearly a foot. That’s why we were wading around out there. Checking the draft.”

“And that makes the two of you happy? Oh, gosh! When you pump OFF the water? You made us a hole! To crawl out of! Oh my darlings!”

“You got it, Unk! We’ll be floating again tomorrow. Where are we going? Have you finished deciding yet? I might offer a suggestion.”

“Strait of Malacca worries me. Taking a boat load of women I adore, through there, just makes me ill to even consider. It’s the only reasonable route to the Mu Koh Ang Thong archipelago in the Gulf of Thailand. I don’t see any option. Other areas interest me less, but are safer perhaps to voyage to. I’m still mulling these things over.”

“Fuck it!” Gidget spat.

“Well? Maybe you’re being hasty ... huh?”

“Fuck it!” Gidget repeats, interrupts me. “If you want to go to Thailand, why not to Phuket Island on the west coast, instead of braving the Malacca Strait! Fuck the east coast islands! We got Sylvia!

Phuket is inhabited, but we can hide.” Sybil looks pleased and proud.

“Go and eat, you two geniuses! Thank you darlings! Thank you both!”

“ATTENTION EVERYBODY! ATTENTION PLEASE! SYBIL AND GIDGET HAVE JUST INFORMED ME, WE ARE GOOD TO GO! WE CAN SAIL AWAY IN THE MORNING. THANKS TO MY NIECE AND OUR EXCELLENT ENGINEERING STAFF, AND CHIEF ENGINEER SYBIL.

ALSO, THANK YOU COOKS FOR THE WONDERFUL PARTY! NOW WE’VE CAUSE TO REALLY CELEBRATE! LET’S PARTY TILL WE DROP!

PLEASE GIVE EVERYONE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! THANK YOU!

NOW! FURTHER GOOD NEWS. WE WILL NOT PASS THROUGH MALACCA STRAIT. INSTEAD, WE ARE BOUND FOR AN ISLAND IN THAILAND CALLED, GET THIS FOLKS! PHUKET! WE’RE GOING TO PHUKET! CELEBRATE, FUCK IT! HOORAY FOR PHUKET! HOORAY!