Chapter 4

The next few hours were hell. I was taken to the jail in Van Nuys, strip-searched, had a bull dyke female deputy perform a cavity search, then put into a cell with five other women. And the craving was getting worse. I realized I did not have the number for anybody I could even call, so sat there for two hours until one of the deputies walked by, and I asked her if somebody could get a phone number from my wallet.

She asked who it was for, and I said a friend. He should know what happened so he could see about making arrangements for me. She took my inmate number from the wristband, then said all calls were recorded, so that is what it had better be or I might get more charges.

It was almost a day later when I was finally handed a piece of paper with Rocco’s number on it. Thankfully he accepted the collect call, and I gave him an outline of what had happened. He sighed and called me a dumb cunt. And I cried, agreeing with him and saying I had been an idiot, but I had no idea what do to, I had no way to pay my rent in here and I would lose everything.

He sighed. “It’s OK Holly, you still got money coming in from the videos. I’ll cover your rent until you get out, or the money is all gone. But it’s not a gift, it’s coming out of your share.” I thanked him and asked him what would likely happen next.

“Well, likely the same thing that happened to your girlfriend, Sherri. This is your first time, right?” I told him it was. “OK, simple possession. Likely a trial in about a week or so, the DA will offer you a few years, or two years probation and treatment at an inpatient facility for three months. With luck, after that, you are home and can go back to work.”

Well, the next day we were put on a bus and driven to downtown LA to the central county jail. I was pulled aside, and given a set of clothes like those that work in a hospital wear, with a big “L” on the front. And when I was taken to a cellblock, the other three gals all had similar letters. “I guess this is for Lesbian?” I asked.

“Well girlie, it sure as hell don’t stand for Laverne!” the big dyke said, and laughed. It was soon obvious that Chris ran our cell. She was big, fat, and strong. And each night after lights out she would take at least one of us. And that night was the first time in my life I was raped.

She was not gentle, she was rough and brutal, not even spitting on her two fingers before she shoved them inside of me dry. And just as my body was starting to produce lubrication she yanked them out, pushed her pants and panties past her hips, and mashed my face into her cunt. It was in no way enjoyable, and after she finally got off she slapped my ass and told me to hop back into my bunk before we got caught.

The next night it was Jilly’s turn. Jilly was as small as I was, skin as dark as night, and could barely talk above a whisper it seemed. She insisted she was not a lesbian, and that her being in with us was a mistake. She was in for driving on a suspended license, and her protests of not being a lesbian did not save her from Chris. In fact, she took Jilly every other night the four days I was in the cell with them. Thankfully, I was finally bought to the courthouse, where I met my Public Defender. And just as Rocco told me, he made the offer and I said I would take it. The trial was only about five minutes. The judge read the charges, my defender pleaded guilty, the DA confirmed the agreement, and I was sentenced to three years in jail, changed to parole upon completion of a 90 day program. I spent another week in jail though, thankfully in another cell with no Chris. I called Rocco, and told him what happened. He sighed and said that was expected.

“Well, I’m lucky in that Sherri’s back out. She asked if she could go back to the apartment, I told her I had to check with you first.”

“Of course she can! Tell her I love her, and will see her as soon as I can. Thank you Rocco, I owe you when I get out of here.”

Well, the rehab sucked as much as I expected. But at least there was no Chris there. We slept four to a room, but it was a room and not a cell. We were not locked in, but we were out in the Mojave Desert with nothing else for miles around. We were even told we could walk around the grounds. But it was getting towards summer, so too hot for that until the sun had gone down.

Classes in the morning, meetings in the afternoon, classes at night. I was actually proud when after a month I got a poker chip that said “30 days” on it. And everybody congratulated me, saying I had made it over the hump. And indeed, I was no longer feeling like I was wanting to crawl out of my skin.

I still remember the end of the next month. A girl named Kelly had joined us, and I had worked with her before. We soon got to talking, and she had also been like me, from the B to C list of actresses that started on film, but were now relegated to the videotape market. She also did work on the side and was caught giving a blowjob to a john in a parking lot, with half an ounce of pot in her purse.

That night we went out to walk in the evening, that was common as it was so fucking hot in the daytime. And we ended up laying behind some brush near the fence as we kissed and fingered each other like crazy. This was so much better, and I savored the orgasm as it washed over me, finally replacing the revulsion of Chris. She bit my shoulder when she finally came on my fingers, and we carefully brushed each other off before we returned to the dorm.

This was the best part of my incarceration. It was not love, neither of us were thinking it was anything other than two friends fucking each other. To help forget some of the shit we were going through. Every four days or so we had to piss in a cup, and somehow some of the people there still managed to get something in. Because every week or so a deputy would come into a meeting and call one of us out, and they were never seen again.

It was a week from graduation when I was relaxing in the lounge watching the TV when I was told I had a visitor. This surprised me as this was the first time I had one. I was brought out in a room was told the rules. I could hug my guest, but only for ten seconds or less. No kissing, we were to sit on opposite sides of a table, we could hold hands but we both had to show our hands front and back clearly both before and after. He showed me, and it reminds me of the dealers at the casino when I was in Vegas with Pete.

I was led out into the visiting room, and it was Sherri! I almost ran to her and hugged her tight, god it felt good to hold her! Then the lady at the deck coughed, and we separated. We both sat at a table, and after watching her do the same routine I was briefed I did the same. Then we held hands.

She told me she had gotten out of this same facility the month before and was still clean. I smiled and was losing myself in her eyes. I told her what had happened, and she shook her head. “Lin, that was stupid, what in the hell were you thinking?”

“Honestly, I have no idea now. It might have been the dope, but somehow I thought I could get him to take me back. Then his stepmom came in, and she was nasty. I’d known Dee for years, I used to babysit her son. And she was, vulgar and angry. Said if she caught me near her son again she would kill me. Pete is not her son though, and I love Georgie.”

Sherri shook her head. “You shouldn’t have gone there, Lin. And that is when you got caught?”

“Yeah, I got home and needed a rock. You know those guys that hang out at Langdon and Rayen? I just decided to walk down there, and they busted him and me as I was walking away. If they had waited another two minutes, or rushed in two minutes sooner I would have been safe. But they swooped in as I was tucking it in my pocket and walking back home.”

She squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. She asked how things were before I got here, and I shuddered. I felt myself cry as I told her about Chris, and how brutal she was. She called over the matron, and politely asked if she could run her fingers through my hair. The gal smiled, then inspected her hand and fingernails and told her she had permission. And feeling her fingers running through my hair did feel a lot better. I finally stopped crying, and turned and thanked the matron.

“Miss Carol, we are not monsters, we just have to enforce the rules. I remember your friend, although I am sorry I have forgotten your name. You looked like you needed comforting, and what she asked was not unreasonable.” She left, then came back and handed me some Kleenex. I thanked her as she returned to her desk.

“Oh, and the apartment is fine. The power was off when I got there, but I did a job for Rocco and got it turned back on two days later. He has me working about once or twice a week now, and I did one as your cousin again, revisiting some of your past ‘boyfriends’. I said on the video I would help the guys, as you were out of town visiting sick family.”

We both giggled, and she told me one of them was the sound guy. “Wow, you told me and I saw the video, but I still could not believe it until I opened his pants and pulled it out! That was one of the longest cocks I had ever seen, and so thin! But hell he came hard, I could actually hear it as it came out. And I was kneeling three feet in front of him and he still plastered my face!” She giggled, and I did also.

“Yeah, I call him ‘pencil dick’, and he hit a wall like five feet away. Thankfully I was standing behind him when he popped.”

“So, anybody else other than Chris?” she softly asked. I told her about Kelly, but assured she was just an old friend I had worked with on occasion. And we were only helping each other through this shit, it was nothing other than that.

“It’s not like she’s my girlfriend or anything, we just cuddle and touch each other. It helps make this place a little more bearable. But that stops now if you want. You are the one I want, Sherri. You, not her.”

That smile lit up her face, and she shook her head. “No, go ahead, so long as you come back to me when you get out of her. I was lucky, my time in County was with a gal who was not a Chris. She would cuddle me and call me her baby as she squeezed my boobies. But she never did nothing else. I had nobody here like that, so you are lucky you do. It’s not like I’m not going to be just sitting at home waiting for you to get back to me.” We both smiled at each other, and the matron softly called out “Five minutes”.

We said that we loved each other, and she would be up here to pick me up when I was discharged. We then stood and hugged each other again, and then with a wave she left. As I was leaving, I went to the matron and thanked her. She smiled and said it was alright.

That night I almost dragged Kelly into the bushes, and fingered her like crazy, kissing her as I imagined it was my Sherri in my arms again. And she had three fingers deep in my hole, making me almost want to scream it felt so good. Kelly was almost wiped out by the time we finished, I could not get enough that night, and every time she tried to leave I shoved my fingers back into her and went back to plunging them in and out all over again.

I went straight to the shower, because I was wet down my thighs, and as I got out I saw Kelly come in. And even though it was risky, I pushed her into the stall and whispered for her to turn on the water. I squatted down and had her spread her legs. And for the first time since my arrest three months earlier I was, at last, eating a pussy that I actually wanted to eat. She came on my face, and was about to return the favor when we heard footsteps and I quickly slipped back into my own shower, washing off my face. The guard said ten minutes to lights out, so I dried off and tossed my uniform in the laundry basket and got a fresh one from the bored clerk at the office.

I finally got my 90 day chip, and after a small ceremony I was checking out. When I walked out into the hot bright afternoon, Sherri was in the parking lot waiting for me. We hugged and kissed for what seemed like forever, and she smiled when I asked her to drive us home. She laughed when I said I had no idea where we were. Soon we were driving through a mountain pass, and then I recognized those weird rocks Pete took me to once. Sherri said that she had a shoot that night. And of course, once we got back to The Valley we went upstairs and made love until almost 6. Then showered and dressed we both went to Agura, at a nice house in the hills. Thankfully, Rocco said I could fluff.

This at least was story-driven, and I also got to play background in one of the scenes. And it was like a return to myself, having a cock in my mouth again after so long. One of the guys was pretty big, but I had to get him up so he could shove it in Sherri. And I loved it when as they changed camera angles he lost his hard, and I got to taste her on his dick as I got him back up again.

But hey, it was $250, and I needed it now. The next day I contacted my agent, and he said he still had no work for me. So I did a few shoots here and there from Rocco or people he knew. Sometimes fluffer, sometimes as video feature.

I even got a few dates from the agency, now that I was back in circulation again. One was even an actor that had been on one of those Disney channel shows a few years ago. He was still cute, and it was only with a little regret that I turned down his offer to smoke up between rounds. It smelled and looked like good shit, but I was trying to keep that shit behind me now. For Sherri, because she was still sober, and I was afraid if I went back I would lose her. But he tipped me well for the night and even kissed me before I left, saying he had a crush on me since he saw one of my videos when he was 16. But it stung a bit when he said he barely recognized me.

I went to see my agent the next day, and he once again said he had no work for me. “Dammit Jimmy! It’s been months now, you can’t get me anything?” He simply sighed, and told me to take a seat.

“Holly, I’m gonna be frank with you. Nobody wants you anymore. I warned you this would happen, the most I could do is fluffing or maybe background. Nobody wants you on film, because of those tits.”

I looked down, and back at his face and he nodded. “You looked great early on, and you were rising. They all loved your ‘teen next door’ look. And your first implant job, well that they could tolerate, even though it meant you were more college girl then high school looking. But what in the fuck were you thinking? You went straight to DD, and you look ridiculous. It’s obvious they’re fake as hell, you did that to yourself. Want my advice? Save your money, honey. Save your money, and as soon as you can get those things out. You’re going to need some reconstruction after, but I can promise when the scars heal I can probably get you back to work on real projects again.”

I sighed, and lowered my face into my hands, trying not to cry. “But I thought all guys liked them bigger.”

“Holly, it’s not bigger we like, Bigger can look good, but there is also too big. Yours do not look good, it looks like you shoved footballs in your top. Get that fixed, and I promise I will get you some work.” I nodded and thanked him for his honesty, and left.

Well, Rocco might be sleaze, but he is honest sleaze. I was still getting royalty checks from the Handjob Queen series, and he even got me a series of autograph sessions at different porn shops for $500 a day. I would show up with one of his crew and they would set up the booth, with a bunch of two sided color glossies, one side showing the front cover, and the back some scenes from the movie. And with a pen, I would sign those for $5, pose for a Polaroid picture for $10, or sign a copy of one of the videos for free if they bought it then and there. I got half of what was brought in, and while I made nothing for selling the videos, I knew I would see it in the end in royalties. And I mean it when I say Rocco is honest sleaze, his statements for my royalties were always completely accurate.

I was doing those once a week now, and all of that money was going into a new account I had made special. I called it the “Linda Reduction Fund”. Sherri and I did the math, and we figured we would need about $6,000 in it before I could get the surgery. That was to cover driving to Mexico, getting it done there because I could not afford what an American doctor would charge me, then the two months I would need to recover. The only thing I could do then would be signing autographs, and with a full t-shirt and not a bikini top as I usually did.

And I was also doing it for Sherri. When I told her my decision, she told me she was happy! That she did not enjoy how hard they were, and they did not look right. “I did not want to hurt your feelings love, but I see your old videos and you were so hot. You should go back to being you, Lin.”

Even Rocco seemed fine with this decision. He said he would keep me at autographs as I recovered, and we were thinking that October would be when I had the money saved, pretty much taking me out other than autographs and fluffing until January.

I was sitting with Sherri at the skate park, and we were waiting for it to get dark so we could film a “Skater Girl Returns” session. This was Sherri’s idea, and I loved it. She was now an increasingly common sight in videos, but only with guys. In this, I was to return to the park at night and they would film me remembering our time together. And they would alternate between clips of me sitting there smoking, and of Sherri and I together. Then she would come skating in and almost crash into me, and after sitting with me she would say I was the only girl she had let touch her, and she was afraid because she had liked it. And with a little pressure, I would finger her again right there in the skate park. And she even had her tan shorts on again.

“Hey Rocco, you know so long as I keep my shirt on, I can still work later this year. And what says I need to show my tits to stroke a cock or finger a clittie?”

“Hmm, good point Holly. Tell you what, when you think you’re ready, let me know. But we both know you will likely want to take at least a month off first.” I nodded, but at least I could keep working.

It was dark enough to shoot, and Rocco was trying out his new infrared camera for this shot. It made everything look kind of green and pale, but it would be something new he said. I lit up a smoke, the only vice I now had after getting clean other than drinking, and sat there having two smokes. Sitting on the ground as Rocco moved all around, capturing me trying to look meditative. He finished the shots, and I lit another. Sherri used the glow to skate right towards me, and she barely missed me as she fell on her bottom. “That really hurt but keep going,” she softly said, and I asked her if she was alright.

“Only my pride and bottom are hurt,” she said and giggled. And she sat down facing me, and we pretended to recognize each other again. And it was not acting when she said that I had been the first girl to ever touch her in that way, and she could not stop thinking about it. We had already left the script when she said she had always thought she would be repulsed if another girl touched her in that way, but she was ashamed to admit she had really liked it.

This was not the script Rocco had told us to do, she was recreating our first day. I moved my hand to her thigh and caressed her softly, and said I had really enjoyed it also. She had been so sexy and responsive, and I had loved pleasing her so much.

“Holly, I’m afraid. I want you to do it again. But I’m afraid that is I did, it would mean that I’m a lesbian. And I don’t think I want to be a lesbian. But whenever I masturbate now, all I can think about is your fingers, and how good they made me feel. I came so much and so hard that day, am I now a lesbian?”

I reached a hand up and ran it through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes as my other started to slide under the leg band of her shorts. “Well, that depends I guess. I know I’m not a lesbian. I’m actually bisexual. I love making everybody feel good, girls and guys alike. I love rubbing a nice, soft, wet pussy and making a girl feel so good she can’t help but cum on my fingers. But I also like feeling a nice hard cock in my hands, pulsing and growing harder right before it spits it’s cum everywhere. Tell me, Sherri, do you still like cocks?”

By now my hands had slid under her shorts and were rubbing her though her very wet panties. “Oh yes, I still love cock. I don’t know if I like pussy yet, but I do love your touch. Holly, will you touch me like that again? Please?”

This was supposed to be a repeat of our first encounter, but I did not want that. I turned around and laid next to her, whispering “Oh yes my sweet Sherri, but I want to feel more of you this time.” I unfastened her shorts, and slid my hand into the front of them, rubbing her panties from the front, and feeling her rock her pussy up to meet my fingers. I did this for several minutes, making sure the cameraman had some good shots of my fingers pushing out her shorts as I was rubbing her under them.

Then I slid my hand out and took a quick taste of them. “Hmm, nothing finer than Sherri’s cream on my fingers,” I softly said, and she covered her face and giggled. I tugged her shorts down to her thighs, then repeated this again, this time the camera getting the shot of her pretty dark blue panties, ones I had selected especially for this when I saw them the week before. They had these little white butterflies all over them, contrasting with the dark blue fabric. And we had already “tested” them once before, the butterflies made it obvious by their fluttering around as my hand moved under them that I was fluttering my fingers inside of her. And in the soft light, I could see this effect again, I just hoped that this was visible to the camera.

Then when I sensed it was time, I pulled her panties down. Sherri by now had turned her head towards me and was resting her head on my shoulder, whimpering into my neck and ear. Rocco at one point said he wanted Sherri to rest her head on my chest, and I just gave a dirty look in his direction. “Rocco, she’s too tall. I would have to move so far up that if she could rest her head on my chest, I would have to stop fingering her.” Sherri whimpered “Don’t stop”, and I kissed her forehead and slipped my fingers back inside. I whispers very gently I was not going to stop. And hearing her gasp and moan, and I started moving them in and out faster. Fast enough that the sounds of my fingers were clearly obvious, and I was dragging drops of her sweet liquids out of her to splatter onto her thighs, and the cement under us.

I did this for about a minute, then said “Now Rocco, if you wanted I can rest my head on her chest, my arm can still reach her easily. But realize, if I did that I might just get carried away.”

He paused for a few seconds before he responded. “Go ahead and make her cum first, then do it. Sherri baby, in the next minute or so start opening the buttons on your top, let us see your bra and belly.”

She moaned, but I whispered very softly for her to let me. I pulled my fingers out of her and she moaned, and I unfastened the bottom button. Sherri nibbled on my neck and ear, and I slowly unbuttoned all of the buttons on the flannel shirt she had on, then parted them. And my sweet Sherri then turned her head away and moaned at the sky as I caressed my way back down, and slid three of my fingers into her. I made sure to hit her clit each time they were fully in, and feeling her clenching them I knew it would not be long. She rarely lasted long when I had three fingers buried inside of her like this. And tonight was no exception, just a couple of minutes more and she was announcing her first orgasm of the night. Then her second, then her third washed over her body and her hand moved down and grasped my wrist. I smiled and looked into her eyes, and they looked in the soft light to be shining with both lust and love. By now her blouse was open all the way, and an almost matching dark blue bra was visible, contrasting well with her soft white skin. After she calmed down a bit, I bent to kiss her neck, softly whispering “Resist me for a minute, then agree.”

I commented on how lovely her breasts looked in the moonlight, making sure it was loud enough for the sound guy to pick up. I had moved my fingers to caress her pussy on the outside again. And I said I had felt her tight and amazingly juicy pussy twice now, and had yet to see her pretty tits. I then teased her, asking if her nipples were like hard rocks, and she shook her head no. “Your pussy is gushing, but your nipples are not hard? I don’t believe you, baby girl. Go ahead, show them to me, I want to see them. Sherri, I really want to see your pretty titties.” She finally nodded her head, and her fingers went to the clasp in the front. And I moaned, saying they were the prettiest titties I had ever seen in my life. I made a show of blowing on her nipples, and saw her arch her back in response as my fingers slid back inside.

Sherri moaned again, as my fingers started to slip in and out of her cunt again. After she gave out one of her sexiest moans, I asked her if I could kiss them. She shook her head no, then I asked her again about 20 seconds later, and she shook her head no again. I spent the next 30 seconds blowing on her closest nipple, then asked again.

“Holly, if you kissed them, that might make me into a lesbian. And I don’t want to leave here tonight as a lesbian.” Oh, my lover was such a good actress. She was so believable at our little improv, and I asked her if my kissing her nipples would make her not want cock again. She shook her head, and I told her my doing so would not make her a lesbian, but it would give her more pleasure.

I eased my fingers back inside, and she moaned deeply and pulled my head to her breast. I made sure to turn my head so the camera could catch me latching onto her nipple, covering her areola with my lips and sucking it in as one of Sherri’s arms wrapped around my head, and moaning even louder. I licked and sucked for almost two minutes, then pulled back and just gazed at her breast. “Oh Sherri, your nipple looks so sexy, all wet and shining like this. I’m going to kiss it again.” Then I did that, my fingers slipping faster in and out of her cunt, and her gasps, moans and groans growing in intensity and more often.

“Oh Holly, oh god, oh Holly, you’re going to make me cum again! You’re going to make me cum again, another girl is making me cum!” she moaned, and came on my fingers, her belly rising and falling as she was overtaken by a strong orgasm. Which to some watching the tape I knew might seem fake, but the way her cunt was clenching my fingers I knew was completely real. It was too much, and she fell back gasping for breath, and I slipped my fingers out and rubbed her sexy little V of fur and mound.

“I can’t believe I let you do that to me again,” she softly said. “I’ve never been with a girl before, and now meeting you twice you have done this to me twice. Maybe I am bisexual.”

“Well, there’s only one way to know for sure,” I softly whispered, moving my head up and looking down into her eyes.

“Really? What’s that Holly?” She softly whispered, sounding like she was a little girl. I did not answer her with words, kissing her lips instead. Her arms went around my neck and she clutched me as she kissed me back, But we could not get carried away, and after a minute I broke the kiss and softly whispered “curfew”.

Suddenly Sherri pushed me away, and said “Oh no, what time is it?” She looked at her watch, then started to scramble back into her clothes, fastening her bra and buttoning her shirt, getting it wrong so it was clearly obvious that she had skipped one buttonhole when she started. She had a look of panic on her face as she said “Sorry, I have to go, my mom’ll kill me if I don’t get home soon! Holly, will I see you again?”

I smiled, and once we were standing I said she would, one never knew where I might be, or when I might show up. She gave me another kiss and hurried away. And I saw the camera following, focused on her ass and likely the sheen of wetness between her thighs.

Rocco said that was a wrap, and a smiling Sherri trotted up and hugged me tight, giving me a kiss. Rocco was also smiling and said that was amazing. “Now I’m glad I let you two talk me into this. Both of you, that was fine acting, fine acting. I know you two have been lovers for over a year now, but if I didn’t know better I would have thought that really was your second encounter. And only your second time, Sherri.”

Sherri kissed his cheek, and said that I was the one coaching her. We were at his van now, and Rocco opened the back and handed out a beer to each of us. He then asked her how I was directing her, and Sherri said I would occasionally whisper something to her, and she would do it. “Like, she whispered to me to resist her for a few minutes the agree when she started to tease me about my breasts and wanting to see them. And it felt so right, I just went with it. Then her begging me for a kiss, it was the same. Then when she broke the kiss she softly whispered ‘curfew’, and I knew what to do next. I pretended to panic and rushed to get home. Even buttoning my shirt wrong.”