Chapter 3

I spent most of the next week in a fog, alternating between tripping, masturbating, and crying. But I was down to less than I needed for rent and knew it was time to return to work again. So I headed to see my agent and see what he could score for me. And the first thing he did when he saw me come in was “Holly, thank god you’re here! I was going to call you. Holy shit!”

I bit my lower lip and gave him my best smile, pushing my titties out at his face. “Well crap, never mind. What the fuck did you go and do something like that for?”

I frowned. “What, you don’t like my new titties?”

“Holly, you were one of my leading ‘girl next door’ types. It was one thing when you went and got that first one, that was a nice big C, and other looking a little lopsided, they looked fine. But this! When you told me you were going to get cut again I thought it was just to fix that, not pump in even more.”

“Well, I’m ready to go back to work. So what’s the job you were going to tell me about?”

“Forget it, they can’t use you now. It was for one of those ‘Taboo’ movies, they wanted a kinda slutty younger cousin, but you will never do now. I’m gonna call Chet, head on down and get me a new set of body shots. I’m gonna have to try pushing out some new photos of you now, see if anybody bites. Holy hell Holly, what were you thinking?”

I went to see Chet, and in about two hours he had done a full set, including jeans, skirts, bikini, even one in an evening gown. Then he took a series of me nude, starting at cheesecake, and working up to one with me masturbating while sitting on the floor, my back leaning against the wall. Then of course was the payment. My agent paid for a basic series, but Chet had given me an extra shooting, so I took him into my mouth so he could do even more shooting. And he set up his camera on a tripod with this long cable thingie and took more pictures, including one after he had blasted my face and he told me to look at the camera and smile.

I washed up and got dressed, then went back to see my agent. He frowned as I came in, and said to give him a week or two. I told him I would take anything, I really needed the cash. So the next day I found myself at a sleazy motel up in Palmdale, doing fluffer work. Fluffers are like the bottom of the ladder. They are the ones that help get the guys hard and keep them hard between takes. If they are going on camera in five minutes, we get down on our knees and “fluff them up” to go on camera. Or if they lose their erection like they often do during a two hour, we are sent in to get them back up again. At least here I have an advantage, as it does not bother me if they stick it in my mouth tasting of another girl. But the pay is crap, only around $250 if I’m lucky. But it would be enough to cover the rent due next week.

I even got a bonus, as the girl that was in the second scene was really cute. She was blonde and had a nice ass and tits. She was about to go out to the set, and walked up and asked if she could get warmed up also. I grinned, and dropped to my knees and licked away at her clit. I moved down and making sure my tongue was nice and wet shoved it right into her cunt. I did this several times, and she sighed happily. Then they were calling her, and she said “Thanks doll” and went to the set.

I got sent to the set a bit later when Tommy got soft, so I got another taste of her as I got him up again. Then I sat in a chair as I watched him plow her until they got the money shot they wanted. The director called a wrap, and Bobby said she was going to get cleaned up as they started to break down the equipment. And on the way back she grabbed my hand and dragged me along. We got into the bathroom and she sat on the toilet, pulling me onto my knees. “Come on, you know you want to,” was all she said before she pulled my face into her cunt. I licked and sucked like crazy, and knew that what had hit her chest right below her tits was Tommy’s second shot, I was tasting his first shot inside of her. It’s a good thing Tommy shoots a lot, four or five pumps at least. It took less than five minutes and she was cumming on my face. She then had me lick all of the cum I could find on her belly, then go into the shower with her and help clean her off.

And fifteen minutes later she told me to give her my number as she was putting on her earrings, then kissed me and left. It was only as I was getting dressed I realized she did not give me her number, nor did she return the favor.

Well, three months later I moved out of my apartment, and in with Bobby. And her and I are still hard to talk about. I was pretty much her slave. She was actually a clothing designer, and was using mainstream porn to try and break into fetish stuff. The money she made all went into things she used to make the clothing, mostly leather and latex. And she would make them to fit me, then take photographs of me wearing them, which she would show to others hoping they would order one similar for the their girl. And she did make some for some of the producers, and even made me do some videos wearing them. But she made sure they knew, no penetrative sex, and nobody could hit me or cause me pain.

Only Bobby could do that.

And as time went on, she started adding more. She would put me into these leather things, almost like straitjackets, or stuff a ball into my mouth and put this mask over my face, or tie me up. Then just leave me on her bed like that for hours. She was not into pain, so no whips or that shit, but she loved to bind me in some way until I was crying. I had to call her “Mistress” at home, and could wear nothing more than panties when I was menstruating. When we went out, she would tell me what to wear, and then only after I finished dressing her would she then criticize what I was wearing.

And the sex, sometimes she would just put on a movie and have me get on my knees on the floor and eat her out. And for over an hour. One time she rented that Graystoke Tarzan movie, but I never did get to see it. I spent the entire movie, over two hours just eating her out. Then the next day she put me in an outfit she said she had made just for me. These leather mittens, and like panties, but made of hard leather. Both were locked onto me with small padlocks. Then she left with her makeup case, so I know she was going to do a movie shoot. But I rarely did any anymore. And I was going stir crazy, I spent about a month and never left her apartment.

And after about five months, I think I was going crazy. I was expected to eat her cunt for an hour or more at a time almost every night, and she never touched me! In fact, she did not even want me to masturbate, I could only do it when she was at work if she did not put on my “special panties”, as it was almost impossible through them. The hard leather meant I could not really press how I liked, and the inside was rough, she would actually use this metal thing like a file and make it rougher on occasion. And chastise me when she came home and it was wet inside, as she knew what I had done. I was even losing weight, as I could not poor or pee without making a mess in it, and it was humiliating when she would punish me for doing it. And after several weeks of her training, I was doing her newest kink, coprophagia. It started with fake poop she got at a joke store, then turned into my licking the real thing (always hers) as she took pictures.

My agent had yet to find me anything, but I did go to the pay phone on the corner and call him every few days. I could not use the one at home, Bobby always took the handset with her when she left. But finally he told me he had a job for me fluffing. And it was after a shoot that ended early because the main actress was on the rag and they could not cover up the flow that the guy in the scene offered to take me out to lunch.

I had met Gary several times, and he was always nice to me. He started at a bottom in gay porn before moving to straight. He was gentle, kind, always did things like brush my hair out of my eyes as I blew him erect. And before I knew it I found myself telling him about Bobby in the parking lot next to a Dairy Queen. He held me in his arms as I started to cry.

“Hell Holly, you need to get the fuck away from her. I’ve done DS stuff in the past, she sounds like bad news. I like a little kink sometimes, but such a relationship should benefit both people, not just one of them. I had a boyfriend kinda like that once. He loved me sucking his cock, and he enjoyed delaying my own orgasm, but he never outright denied it. His thing once he was ready was fucking my ass and squeezing my cock had so I could not cum. But he always did let me cum, so it was a game we both liked. But this bitch, she is torturing you. You need to get out of there fast, I bet she is trying to groom you for something else. Tell me, when was the last time she gave you an orgasm?”

I thought about it for like two minutes, and I realized that in all the time I had known her, she had never given me a single orgasm. Ever. He looked sad at that, and shook his head and told me I had to get out of there. And I was actually crying when I admitted to him I had nowhere else to go. She had made me stop dancing because it took me away from her too much at night, and I was still only getting fluffer duties. Then he said I could move in with him. “No strings, you can sleep in my bed or on the couch. But you gotta get outta there. fast.” We exchanged numbers, and he said he would wait for my call.

That night, the movie was Amadeus. And she made me eat her out for over three hours until it was over. And when I tried to rub my pussy against her leg, she pushed me away, and put me in the straight jacket and left me in her bed. The next morning she unlocked it, and just left me there as I could barely move. And right before she left she said my lunch was in the kitchen, something she made just for me. And I already knew what that meant. Quite literally the only thing in the kitchen would be a plate of shit.

But the time locked up helped me make my decision. When I could finally move, I went to the corner and called Gary. He was there twenty minutes later, and we grabbed what little I had left. My clothes, some movies on tape, and the computer Peter gave me. He was surprised that was all I had, and I sat on the couch and cried.

“When Bobby let me move in, she said that all of my stuff was trash. She told me to throw it all away, she was not having any of it in her place. The only thing I fought her on was what is in that box which is personal, and this computer. But the rest, got dumped on the side of the road.”

Gary sighed, and helped me load everything up into his car, and I followed him to his apartment. It was in Pacoima, and I smiled and waved when I passed Hector, a guy I knew from school that I had jacked off in eighth grade. He looked at me puzzled, and I guess he did not recognize me. We got everything moved in, and I felt like a large weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

We talked over Chinese food that night, and I was eating like a pig as he sighed as he looked through the Polaroids that I had grabbed before I left. “Yeah, she was grooming you, girl. Working on you, trying to destroy your mind and make you her obedient little slave. I had to get you out, another two months and you might have become hers. Seen that before, you gotta avoid that DS and S&M shit. I dabble in some still, it can be a lot of fun. But it has to be fun for both people, like a game you each play. If you’re gonna be a subbie for somebody, most times you will give. But they have to give back, or that’s just abuse. And this, this was unquestionably abuse.”

We talked for a bit, and he was surprised to learn I had not worked since I got the new implants. “Well, let me talk to a few people, maybe I can help make something happen. I gotta take off though, sleep wherever you want, I’ll be back late tonight.” He hugged me then left. I unpacked some things, then took a walk around the neighborhood. It sucked as bad as I remembered, I was one of the few white faces I saw.

I was asleep in Gary’s bed when he came back in at about 2 in the morning. I rolled over and smiled at him as he slipped into bed. But he did not touch me, he just went to sleep. And for the next week and a half, I hinted I would like him to bone me, nothing. It took me almost a month to realize he really was gay, and only did girls for money.

But finally I got a gig, it was for one of the video producers, a titfuck video. But it paid $500, so that was better. Then another one, same thing, another $500. I did three orgy scenes in other films in the next month, $350 each. On the last one, Melissa was one of the cast, she sneered at me and told the director to keep me on the opposite side of the set.

But that was the last time I would work with her, and I did get some revenge. She was on her back towards the end, and one of the male stars was sitting on her belly, fucking those huge titties of hers. I slipped between her thighs and started eating her out. And not as I usually did, which normally was slowly licking her hard clit and almost making love to her lips and pussy. This time I latched my lips around her clit and went to work on it like it was a tootsie pop and I was going for the record in getting to the center of it. I used my hands to hold her thighs down, and I could hear the star grunting as he pumped her jugs, and I knew she was getting close. It was not considered “professional” for a girl to cum on camera most times, but I wanted her to lose her professionalism.

And I did it! Right as he was blasting her chest and face with his load, I felt her peaking. I shoved three fingers inside of her and her hips bucked, almost throwing me off as she moaned in ecstasy as she was cumming at the same time she was getting a messy facial. I pulled back, then gave her pussy a long soft kiss, lightly licking up one side then down the other. Then sucking one of her fat lips, then the other before slipping away.

And I smiled as I wiped my face, because she I knew that now she would always know that it was me. Those gentle licks and sucks on her puffy fat inner lips was how I ended most of our sessions together. And sure enough, when that movie came on tape a few months later I got a copy. And I knew she was having a real orgasm as he came on her, that was not faked but real pleasure on her face. And then how her eyes opened wide as I delivered my own personal “goodbye” to her cunt for the last time, and knowing she at that moment knew who had just eaten her out so perfectly.

Of course, we did meet occasionally but never worked together again. And I also noticed I was not getting any more calls for film, only video work. At the AVN Awards that year, they seated us very far apart. Of course, she was now a star, I was one of just another girls that worked the industry. And as I was leaving at the end of the night holding onto Gary’s arm one of the photographers called at me to come to the backdrop they used to photograph the stars in front of. Melissa was there, and they wanted to get a photo like the one on the Schoolgirl Confidential poster. It was semi-iconic, her and I in one piece swimsuits with our lower bodies touching from tits to groin, arms around each other’s waist as we turned to look at the camera with our cheeks pressed together. With these huge grins on our faces, two girls in love doing their first film together. I still have a copy of a photo of that somewhere, it looks incredibly cute if you do not know it was made for a porn movie.

I saw Mel smile and nod, and I felt a happy glow as I smiled back and came over. She had forgiven me! Maybe she realized that I still really did love her, and how much I wanted her back in my life! We assumed the pose, which was quite different in evening gowns instead of bikinis, and instead of being on a step-stool the cameraman provided she was stooping so our faces were at the right height. And now our bodies only touched at breast and hips, my enlarged breasts kept our bellies from touching as they once had. We smiled for the cameras, and there must have been sixty photos taken. I shivered when I felt her lips lightly touch my ear. Then she softly whispered into my ear as more flashes went off.

“You got me on that set, you cunt. But that is the last time, I will never work with you ever again. Every producer know that to me you are poison, and if you ever set foot on a set I am on, I walk. To imagine I once loved you, you were so sweet and innocent. Now you’re just another cheap porn slut, and will never be anything but a cheap porn slut. I’m only doing this for the publicity and to tell you this. Come near me again and I will shove my foot up your cunt and leave my shoe in it.”

She then sweetly kissed my cheek, and with a wave walked off. I managed to hold off the tears until I got to Gary’s car, then completely lost it. But one good thing that night, Gary and I finally made love. He knew how much I was hurting when we got home, and he spent almost two hours making love to me, and it was wonderful. And as I rested my head on his chest, feeling him leaking out of me he softly said that he knew I needed that, but not expect it often.

Two days later a guy named Rocco came over. He was one of the new breed of porn producers, not even pretending to make movies for release in theaters but only straight to video. I had worked for him once or twice, and he wanted to start something new, but had no idea what. “I liked you in Anal Virgins, that was fucking hot as hell Holly. If I did not know better that really was your first time taking a pipe in the pooper.”

I just smiled. “Oh, it was my first time Rocco.” I paused for about ten seconds, then said “On camera, that is.” He laughed.

“That’s kinda what I want. Something new, something different. That series was essentially one guy doing a bunch of different women. But I wanna try the opposite, one woman but scene after scene of her doing different guys.”

And suddenly, I remembered crying at Pete’s front door. And the last fucking hate filled disgusting thing he said to me as I stood there crying. As I was using all of my willpower to avoid falling to my knees. “Heck, maybe even start a new series of ‘Handjob Queen’ videos. I bet that market is not fully tapped out yet.”

“Rocco, how about a series of handjob videos? You can feature me, and I can do all kinds of different guys. Each one in a different location. In a city park, at a drive-in theater, out in the desert, hell, even the bathroom of a gas station or at Magic Mountain. Just get me somewhere with them for fifteen minutes or so, and I can have them shooting whenever you’re ready.”

Rocco laughed, and said “Really? Are you that sure of yourself?”

I licked my lips and nodded. “Rocco, believe it or not, I had the title of being the ‘Handjob Queen of Van Nuys Junior High’. I have been jacking guys off since then, almost two years before I got my cherry popped. I’ve done it at school playgrounds, amusement parks, behind bleachers, and on miniature golf courses. In service passages for the mall, even in bathrooms, in the dugout at a baseball field. Hell, once even in what I think was the gorilla cage at the old LA Zoo. Get me going, and within five to ten minutes unless the guy has no control I can keep him on edge, and ready to pop when I get the word to let him pop.”

He licked his lips and smiled. He told me he liked that idea and wanted to see me in action. He asked Gary if he minded, and I guess he saw the pleading in my eyes as I looked into his as he nodded his head, and stood up. He started to remove his pants, and I stood up and rested my hand on his.

“Gary darling, if this is going to be mine, let me take the lead,” I whispered to him. Then I kissed him, running my hands through his hair and pressing my body against his. A minute or two later I was caressing him all over, and lowering my hand to his groin. And I did the best I could. For over a half-hour I kept my hands in motion, demonstrating all the strokes and moves I had learned so long ago and since. Kneeling, standing in front of him, standing beside him, even standing behind him. And every time darling Gary got close, I would squeeze the base of his cock and whisper to him “Not yet.”