Sandy, one of the bartenders in Pete’s Pub, noticed Jake Moore as soon as he entered the bar. Jake was a regular, usually coming in three or four times a week. She had grown to consider him a close friend and always admired his constant state of happiness, so it was easy for her to see something was wrong today.

“Hi Jake. You look like you lost your best friend. Are you okay?”

“Hey, Sandy. I’ve had better days. I’m in dire need of a beer.”

“Coming right up.”

Sandy rushed off fetch his brew just as a ‘bar friend’ arrived and sat next to him.

“Jake, how’s it hanging?”

“Oh, hey George. It’s draggin’ on the ground a bit today.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

Sandy returned with a tall Yuengling Lager from the tap.

“Here ya go, Jake. Now spill. What’s going on?”

“I don’t want to trouble you Sandy.”

“Uh ... Jake! Bartender? Listening is what we do.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile. Sandy and he have become friends from his frequent visits to the pub. It didn’t hurt that she was absolutely gorgeous, but he really valued her friendship because she was also a wonderful, caring person.

“Are you sure?”

“Come on, Jake. We’ve become pretty good friends. Plus, you’re a great guy and my favorite customer. Maybe I can help.”

George feigned being offended. “I thought I was your favorite patron!”

“You are sweetie ... when Jake isn’t here.”

Their banter made Jake smile a little, but he needed to unload his cares. He had actually hoped Sandy would be here to help him feel better.

“Jake, what happened? I can see it weighing on you.”

“I’m not sure where to begin.”

“Just let it flow. You don’t need to filter it for me.” She put her hand over his for comfort, and Jake welcomed the warmth that filled him from her touch.

“Well, my wife, Amber ... you know her.”

“Yeah.”

“She had a meeting tonight at the school where she teaches. She said she wouldn’t have time for any dinner, so I figured I’d get a hoagie and run it over to her so she had something to eat.”

“You’re a good husband, Jake.”

“Unfortunately, when I was just outside of her office, I saw her mouth was already full with the cock of one of her coworkers.”

“Oh, no! Oh, my God, Jake. I’m so sorry.”

“Man, that sucks,” George added.

“I kinda fell back against the wall just out of sight and heard her beg Tony to stick his big thing in her. I peeked around the corner and snapped a few pics for proof, and then left and came here.”

“Oh, Jake. I’m so sorry.” Sandy came around the bar and embraced Jake as she sat in the stool next to him. Her comfort caused his first few tears to fall. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling lost right now, but I figured a few hours and a lot of beer should help me pull it together.”

“I’m only on duty a few more minutes then let me sit with you, okay?”

“I’d like that. Thanks, Sandy.”

She left to go fill the drinks for a group of six guys at the pool table, and another dozen or so male and female coworkers that came for an after-work drink or two.

George hated to deal with crap like this, but he had a similar experience and felt led to help his bar room friend.

“What do you think you’ll do, man?”

“I don’t know. I mean, Amber and I have been best friends since the third grade. She’s been everything to me, and I just don’t know why she’d do this. And, like an idiot, I didn’t have a clue this was going on. I never in a million years thought she would be capable of disrespecting me like this. I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

“Do you think you’ll try to patch it up?”

“I’ll never get that image or those words outta my head. I gave her absolute trust and loyalty, and she just shit all over it. Nah, I don’t think I can get past this.”

“Well if you need a lawyer, I’ll give you the name of the one my former wife used. She made mincemeat of me and my lawyer.”

The bar was filling up with more patrons. The large after-work group was getting rather loud, and decided to start the jukebox up so some of them could dance.

Sandy finished her shift and made a beeline to her friend who needed her.

“Okay Jake, I’m clocked out. Why don’t we go grab that table? It’ll be more comfortable.”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

Not wanting to leave George out, she turned to address him. “You wanna join us?”

“Just for a few minutes. I’m supposed to pick the kids up from band rehearsal ‘cause my ex-bitch has Pilates or something.”

The small round table seated four, and Sandy sat between Jake and George while leaving the seat across from her vacant.

“I can’t believe your wife did this to you. I always liked her when you brought her in with you.”

“I’m stunned, too. She been the person closest to me for twenty years, and we’ve been married for five of those years. How could I not know that she had this side to her?”

“I wonder sometimes if we ever really know other people. I’m curious—did the two of you date other people as teenagers?”

“No. Neither of us ever even thought of having a relationship with someone else. At least, I didn’t. I didn’t think she did either until today. Shit!”

Jake couldn’t hold back a few tears as they trickled down his cheeks. Sandy held his hand.

“Do you know the guy she was ... you know... ?”

“Yeah. Tony Jackson. They are both in the math department. The jack-off has a beautiful wife and two young kids.”

“Are you gonna tell his wife?”

“I haven’t had time to think about that. I would want to know, so I probably will.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

George was hoping to avoid adding to the conversation since it made him relive his own experience, but he had to add to Jake’s last thought.

“Jake’s right. Leaving things for her to figure it out no her own is more cruel that telling her. I hope you can do it gently, dude.”

“I’m sure I can be sensitive to what she’s going to go through, but that’s way down the list of where my head is at right now.”

Sandy now held his hand with both of hers. “Where is your head? What do you think you’ll do?”

“Right now, I’m thinking of getting drunk.”

“Don’t, Jake. I know you think it will dull the pain, but now is not the time. When you go home, whether you want to confront her now or not, you want to be clear headed.”

“I guess you’re right. As far as what I’m going to do, I’ve gotta kick her outta my life. There’s no way I can stay with her. But, shit ... I can’t...”

Jake lost control as his tears fell more freely. Sandy moved to embrace him and let him use her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Jake. You can let it out.”

“Sorry. This is embarrassing. I mean, she’s not only my wife, but she’s been my deepest friend and confidant most of our ... oh, shit!”

Some people noticed the scene at their table and it got quieter in the area right around them, but the two larger groups partied on. Then, some unsuspecting partier decided to hit button B24 on the jukebox. Paul Simon’s “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover” started to blare through the room as some of the patrons sang along. For Jake, the timing couldn’t have been worse. Sandy could feel him get tense with every line of the song boring into him.

‘ ... Just slip out the back, Jack.

Make a new plan, Stan.

No need to be coy, Roy... ‘

Jake lost his loose grip on his emotions. With his free hand, he pounded that table as Sandy felt the explosion coming and pulled back from him.

Jake started screaming at the top of his lungs.

“What the hell! What the hell! Come on, Paul, give me some help here. Those are about a half dozen lame ways. I need a good suggestion on how to kick her ass out.”

The room got quiet except for the jukebox blaring. George decided the room needed an explanation.

“Sorry guys. Jake just discovered his wife cheating and I think the song struck a nerve.”

A woman at the next table asked, “Are you sure she’s cheating?”

“Yeah. I got pictures and saw it with my own eyes at the school where she works.”

Suddenly the room flocked around him in sympathy as they offered their support and good wishes. Jake heard them, but didn’t focus on the words they uttered, until one patron voiced an observation.

“Jake’s right. I bet there’s more than fifty ways and Paul Simon picked some stupid ones.”

Someone else chimed in. “I bet we could come up with better ways.”

And that’s how it started. The whole room started thinking of ways to leave your lover that Paul Simon failed to include.

Sandy started to get upset that all this would hurt her friend, but she looked at Jake and she saw a slight smile start to form.

‘Lock her outta the house, Klaus.’

‘Make her sign on the line, Kline.’

‘No, it’s gotta be nastier, like: Make a mess in her bed, Ned.’

The forty or fifty people were on a roll, and Jake could feel his mood improve.

‘You want nasty? Just shit in her shoe, Lou.’

‘Trade her in for a brew, Stew.’

‘No, I said nasty. Go piss in her brew, Stew.’

Sandy took his hand again. “I think you started something. You okay with this?”

‘Toss her in with the pigs, Diggs.’

“Actually ... yeah. This is kinda fun. But so far, locking her outta the house and making her sign on the line were the only reasonable ideas.”

‘Kick her out to the Curb, Herb.’

‘Just give her the toss, Ross.’

George looked at the time on his cell phone. “Damn, this is getting’ good, but I gotta run. Jake, I’ve got your number. I’ll text you the lawyer’s info and I’ll call her to warn her you may be in touch.”

‘Push her to her new boy, Roy.’

‘You can’t use Roy. How about Coy?’

‘Whatever.’

“Thanks, George. I need to act normal tonight when I get home, but see if she’ll see me tomorrow morning. I don’t think I can manage acting normal for very long.”

“You got it, my friend. Call anytime if you want to talk or need something.”

“That’s really nice, man. Thanks for being here and listening.”

‘Go spit in her eye, Cy.’

“That’s what friends are for. If you guys think of it, remember some of the better ideas this crowd comes up with. This is awesome.”

‘Push her over the cliff, Griff.’

‘Switch it. Push her over the griff, Cliff.’

‘What the hell does that even mean?’

The crowd was really getting into it, laughing, cheering, or groaning after each idea. Sandy was still keeping a close watch on her friend, but he really looked like the cloud had lifted from him.

‘If you’re doin’ her in, how about: Make her be a speed bump, Gump.’

‘No, make it quick. Shoot her in the head, Ted’

The whole crowd greeted that idea with a resounding ‘boo!’ Sandy felt the need to reign it in a bit.

“Guys, no dead body stuff, okay? Keep it civilized.”

A guy in the back of the room yelled: ‘Ride off on your pony, Tony.’

Sandy yelled back, “I said civilized, not totally lame!”

Jake took hold of her hand. “At least it rhymed.”

“Yeah, but a pony?”

‘Load her in a U-Haul, Paul’

“Sandy, I ... I really appreciate you being here for me. You’ve become a very important friend to me.”

‘Go empty the bank. Hank.’

“And you as well, Jake.”

‘Go get all of your money, honey.’

Jake and Sandy embraced a little closer and tighter.

The crowd kept shouting ideas while Jake and Sandy became acutely aware of the bond growing between them. Sandy had always been attracted to Jake, but she knew he was a loyal married man. That status, it appeared, was going to change. And Jake had more than one indecent thought about Sandy in the past, but even more important was that he really admired her as a wonderful friend and as a very desirable woman. With the need to filter and suppress those feelings destroyed by Amber’s infidelity, his feelings for Sandy flooded his imagination.

‘Go join the Marines ... shit, what rhymes with Marines? McQueen?’

“You’re not going to join the Marines, are you?”

“Not a chance. Uh, Sandy, is it okay that we hold each other like this, because I really like it.”

“More than ‘okay.’ It feels ... right.”

“Jake, can you come with me back to the office behind the bar? It’ll be a lot quieter.”

“Sure.”

They walked together holding hands towards the back of the pub. Folks kept offering encouragement and patting Jake on the shoulders until they closed the office door. Sandy leaned on the desk and pulled Jake to her while holding both his hands.

“I have an addition to the fifty ways. Maybe we can call it the fifty-first way to leave your lover.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Let ‘er meet your new girl, Earl.”

“But my name’s not...”

Before he could finish his sentence, Sandy revealed the depth of her feelings for him when she softly pressed her lips against his. Their soft, gentle kiss quickly became one of great passion, and Jake could feel the weight of the day disappear. Time seemed to stand still as they both felt the flow of energy and desire pass between them.

Jake hated for their lips to part, but he needed to gather himself.

“Wow. Sandy, that was...”

“Yes, it was. Forgive me if that was way, way too soon after the day you’ve had. But I’ve wanted to be in your arms like this since we first met.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. I mean, physically I’ve definitely had the hots for you, but the more I got to know you the more I liked everything about you.”

“Wow. I’ve had the same feelings about you, but I would never cheat on Amber so I couldn’t give in to those impulses. That’s not a concern now, is it?”

“No. Was that too soon, though, because I couldn’t control myself now that it seems the barrier keeping me from you is about to be removed?”

“When I saw Amber with Dick-wad I was obviously shocked and hurt beyond belief. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. But the first person that came to mind was you. And now, I mean, shit, I would never have believed it if you told me an hour ago that I would be completely fine. But, here in your arms I feel like Amber did me a favor today. We don’t have kids yet, or any big financial concerns, so divorcing her should be simple. What could have been the worst day in my life may just be the best day ever.”

In the small office there was hardly any room for more than one person to stand. Sandy and Jake found enough room to make out like sex-starved teenagers. They finally had to take a break to catch their breath.

“I guess I should go home so things look normal. I’ll take tomorrow off and get all my ducks in a row. Were you serious about her meeting my new girlfriend as a way to give her the news?

“Absolutely! How about if I go with you tomorrow for moral support and we can plan the ‘great reveal’ together. Plus, it will give me a chance to taste your lips any time I want to for a whole day.”

“Oh, I’d love that.”

They made plans for Jake to pick her up as soon as Amber left for work and they would start their day together with breakfast.

Driving home, Jake marveled at how the day had progressed. How could he get over Amber so quickly? Perhaps his subconscious prepared him for her betrayal. He wondered if he picked up on something in Amber, but he couldn’t put a finger on anything. And with Sandy, did his same subconscious pick up on how they felt about each other? Was this all coincidence? Was it the universe fixing things and making them the way they should have been?

Questions swirled in his mind, but his mood was fantastic. He already knew he loved Sandy. He was pretty sure she felt the same way. How did two good friends evolve to this so quickly, especially considering the circumstances that brought it all to a head? He decided to answer his own question. ‘You know what, Jake? I don’t care how. I’m just so damn happy.’

Jake arrived at home and was relieved to see Amber hadn’t gotten there first. It was only nine o’clock, but he decided to head off to bed in the guest room. He’d claim to be sick, and that would keep him isolated for the evening.

Amber drove up and noticed Jakes car. She had been seeing Tony for a few weeks, but this was the first time they had sex when she’d normally be home. She was a bit nervous and hoped Jake wouldn’t notice. Plus, she really needed a shower.

She walked in and couldn’t find her husband.

“Jake? Are you home, Sweetie?”

“Up here, in the guest room.”

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“My stomach. Got the shits something awful. Thought I’d crash in here tonight so you don’t get it.”

“Oh, Baby. Can I get you anything?”

“Nah. I’m good.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll head off to bed and see you in the morning. Good night.”

“Nite.”

Jake was glad that she made it easy to stay away from her. He could see from where she stood in the door that she was a mess from her evening’s activities. Just then, he heard a text come through and noticed it was from George.

[GeorgeK] Dude. UR set to meet Alice Trumball tomorrow AM at 9. I’ll send the address link.

Jake laid back and smiled to himself. After a few minutes his mind started to reflect on the good times with Amber. He knew he’d miss the girl who had been his best friend as long as he could remember. They learned everything about sex together, and relied on each other in good times and bad. He beat the hell out of two guys who picked on her in fourth grade. They comforted each other in times of sorry, and shared the joy of many happy moments.

A few tears trickled down his cheek in mourning for what was now in the past. Then his mind quickly shifted the scene to mental images of Sandy. He reflected on the growth of their friendship. He dwelled on thoughts of her perfect body that seemed about the same height as Amber’s five-foot five. Her flowing, darkish blonde hair framed her beautiful face and those captivating dimples. Her smile lit him up every time he saw her. She had a sharp wit, a well-developed grasp on life, and a disposition that made him warm just thinking of her.

He whispered his thoughts to himself. ‘Jake, you may have stepped in shit, but your day turned out golden.’

He decided to send off a text of his own.

[JAKE:] Sandy, I can’t wait to see you in the morning. I miss you already.

She quickly texted back. ‘

[SANDY:] I’m walking on clouds right now. Wish you were here.

[JAKE:] Good nite, my friend (and you’re so much more).

[SANDY:] Dream of me hugging you (and SO much more). Good night.

Jake smiled at her message and thought to himself, ‘Damn, she knows how to get a guy’s motor running.’

Jake texted his boss that he needed the day off, got dressed, and went downstairs where he was sure Amber would be getting the coffee ready.

“Jake! Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. Not perfect, but good enough to go to work.”

She kissed him on the forehead and left to start her day. ‘Interesting,’ he thought. ‘No kiss on the lips or words of love. That’s new.’

Amber certainly surprised Jake with her betrayal. He thought he knew her and that she wasn’t capable of such despicable behavior. But she couldn’t mask her moods from him. He knew the subtle ‘tells’ that manifested themselves better than anyone else. He saw the whole story clearly in her eyes and the little twitch in the right edge of her lips. She was feeling guilty.

Amber’s car was barely out of the parking lot when he texted Sandy that he was on his way. She only lived a few minutes away, but it still gave him time to consider his feelings for her as he drove to her place. He was irresistibly drawn to Sandy. He feared that the love and affection he was feeling for her was blown out of proportion because of Amber’s betrayal. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that his feelings were strong and real. He was in love with Sandy. Nothing else could explain how, within sixteen hours, he went from loving Amber, to hating her, and now to feeling indifferent towards her.

Jake parked and almost skipped to Sandy’s front door.

“Hi, beautiful!”

Before she could say a word, he embraced and kissed her. Their passion was strong like two lovers who had been separated for months. Sandy’s heart raced and shivers of joy ran up and down her spine. Jake could feel the glow in his whole being as he tasted her lips and their tongues twirled and danced together. The smell of her hair was intoxicating—like fresh flowers in a Spring rain.

“Wow, Jake! That’s the way I like to be greeted in the morning.”

Jake chuckled for a moment. “Who else greets you that way?”

“That was a first, and I hope it will be followed by many more.”

“Hungry?”

“For more of you? Yes. But I guess we should eat actual food. I assume you have the day somewhat planned out?”

They drove to a local diner for a quick breakfast before the meeting with the lawyer at nine. Jake couldn’t stop looking at her eyes. They sparkled at him with an intensity he never witnessed from anyone else, including Amber.

The smells of coffee and bacon dominated the ‘homey’ atmosphere in the diner. Jake and Sandy held hands and chatted lightly before the food arrived. They both felt a sense of comfort in their touch and a feeling of warmth as their hearts were opened to each other. Without realizing that the other was thinking the same thing, Jake and Sandy dreamed that this would be the new path for both their lives.

The waitress was very friendly, but also very ‘take charge’ in the stereotypical way of so many diner waitresses. She interrupted their moment with plate after plate of eggs, bacon, home fries, sausage, scrapple, and toast.

“Holy cow, Jake. I didn’t think we ordered this much food.”

“I didn’t know how hungry you were, but I never actually had dinner last night. It’s all here to share, so dig in.”

“Okaaay. While I do, can you run down the plans for today?”

“All right. First, we have a meeting with Alice Trumball at nine. She’s the lawyer George recommended.”

“Are you seeing her to just talk about possible courses of action?”

“No. That’s set in my mind. I’m meeting her to initiate divorce proceedings.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, without a doubt. When I saw Amber this morning, I felt ... I felt apathy. It surprised me. I expected to be angry or hateful. I still felt the hurt a bit, but I was almost overwhelmed with a sense of peace in that I really didn’t care the same about her at all. Does that make sense?”

“Jake, I’m worried I may have come on too strong and too early. Are you sure the connection we’ve shared hasn’t masked what you’re really feeling?”

“I’ve thought about that. I don’t think so. I think what has grown quickly between us has really expedited my feelings toward Amber to where they needed to go for me to find peace with her. The startling part for me is what that apathy means. Hate isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is. I’ll always value what Amber and I shared as friends, but I feel nothing for her as a wife or lover.”

“So are you comfortable with us at this point?”

“I’m much more than comfortable. I’m excited about what is in store for us.”

“Me too. Perhaps more than you can imagine.”

“I’m not sure about that. I have a very active imagination.”

“Okaaay. What’s after the lawyer visit?”

“I got the home number for Amber’s boyfriend from her teacher directory. I’d like to call his wife and then pay her a visit to tell her the truth. I’m hoping you’re willing to go with me because you’d be in a better position to provide the comfort she may need.”

“Yes, of course. I hope you’re right that she should know. I think I agree with you, but there are people who would rather be kept in the dark.”

“Ah, yes. The ‘ostrich’ approach to issues. Anyway, after that difficult conversation we have the whole afternoon to talk about how to confront Amber. But more importantly, I hope we can talk about us and spend some quality time with each other.”

“You’re not talking about ‘clothing optional quality time,’ are you?”

The smile on her face clearly told Jake that she was joking, but would also welcome that scenario.

“As much as I would like that, and I do mean really, really like that, I am still married for now and I can’t bring myself to take us that far yet.”

“I was hoping you’d say that because it confirms to me the kind of man you are, but my libido and strong attraction to you is fighting my sense of decency.”

They both considered getting deeper into conversation on their relationship, but the time wasn’t right. Instead, they finished their meal and drove to the lawyer’s office.

Alice Trumball wasn’t anything like Jake expected. He assumed she’d be a middle-aged battle-axe breathing the fire of justice for the wronged. Instead, she looked like a former cheerleader who was now in her thirties. She looked at Sandy with a lot of judgement in her eyes. She assumed Sandy was Jake’s mistress and he was the one stepping out on the marriage, and Alice hated cheaters. She softened a great deal once she learned the truth and saw the evidence.

Jake’s assumptions were correct about how the divorce would be drafted. A fifty percent split of joint savings had very little impact. The apartment was rented, so there was no equity to split. Their 401k’s were individual and would remain with the contributor. It should be easy. Cut and dry. Jake had incentives in mind for Amber to get it signed quickly.

They left Alice’s office at half-past ten and called Diane, Tony’s wife. She was reluctant to see them, but eventually granted them permission to come right over. Driving to see her made Jake and Sandy both nervous for the first time that day. Things were about to get very real and personal for a young family.

“Hi, Diane. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice. This is my friend, Sandy.”

“Come in. We can sit at the kitchen table. I’ve made some coffee.”

“Thanks so much. That’s very thoughtful.”

Sandy and Jake sat at the table while Diane went to the kitchen counter to pour three cups. With her back to them, she got right to business.

“Jake, are you here to tell me that my husband is cheating?” She turned and carefully placed the cups in front of them both without looking up or directly at them.

“How did you know?”

“Unless you’re trying to sell me something, that’s the only reason I could think of for an unexpected visit from the husband of one of Tony’s coworkers.”

“Well, yes. He’s having an affair with my wife.”

Pointing at Sandy, Diane calmly asked, “And who is she, the one you’re sleeping with?”

“No, just a close friend.”

“You know they’re both cheating, for sure?”

“Yeah. I saw them and I have pictures.”

“Can I see?”

“Yeah, if you’re sure you want to.”

Jake showed her the images on his phone. Sandy watched her reaction closely. She could have sworn that Diane’s eyes turned red with fire. Without warning, Diane threw her full cup of coffee towards the sink shattering it and staining the curtains on the window with its contents. She started pacing like a hungry tiger in a cage. Sandy squeezed Jake’s hand and hoped the animal they released would leave them unharmed.