Chapter 7

Twelve days later...

“Do you, Michael, take this woman, Vicky, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, cherish, and protect, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” I asked my future stepfather as I officiated his wedding to my own mother.

Yes, my ailing mother, Victoria Lynne Brock, aka Mom, aka “Vicky,” was about to take her views and enter her third and final marriage. She was terminally ill with lung cancer, but that was not about to stop her from taking her vows one last time. She adored Rabbi Michael Schulman, her quite unconventional spiritual guide/lover/friend, more than enough to take the plunge with him. She initially resisted and suggested my sister, but that wasn’t what he wanted for marriage at least.

Michael was in love with Mom ... that much was evident. If he was willing to become a widower after such a short spell, he must love her a lot, right? Why else willingly wed a terminally ill cancer patient? He also had a very unorthodox view of marriage, as did Mom and the rest of us by now. He started out by giving Mom a “hall pass” to satisfy her “bucket list,” but it quickly morphed into some kind of polyamorous arrangement where they each had affairs with all of us. What a guy?

Not surprisingly, the words “forsaking all others” were deliberately omitted from the vows. Why swear to something that one had no intention of doing at all, after all? Everyone present was well aware that all of the six of us living in that house were intimate with almost everyone else. The sole exception was that Michael and I didn’t have any carnal involvement whatsoever with each other.

“I do,” Michael broke into my thoughts with his answer.

“Do you, Vicky, take this man, Michael, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, honor, and obey, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” I turned to Mom now, who blushed as she looked at all of us.

“I do,” Mom gulped and answered me.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride,” I told Michael, even as I noticed how much weaker and thinner Mom was now, “I present to you, my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Michael Schulman.”

Those present, of course, were very few in number, but they included Amy, Oswald, Anastassia, Anastassia’s new friends Luz and Corazon, Luz’s husband Miguel, and Corazon’s boyfriend Joey. Her own family avoided the wedding, for reasons that were unclear to me. Probably they didn’t approve of the interfaith aspect as it was in our home and not in a Catholic church with a wedding mass. If so, too bad. Anastassia wanted to marry Oswald, and this was it.

That’s right, you heard me. After Mom and Michael took their vows, Oswald and Anastassia did the same. Amy officiated that one, being an ordained interfaith minister like myself now, while I “gave” Anastassia away to her new bridegroom. Those vows were certainly interesting enough, even made her friends chuckle a bit. Just one of Oswald’s friends was present, a waitress named Lydia, but he didn’t seem too bothered by that. He would get to marry the woman of his dreams, who was now about to be a hotwife for him, too.

“Do you, Anastassia, take this man, Oswald, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, please, and cuckold, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?” Amy fought a little snicker herself, but she also wanted to support our lovers here, so didn’t lose her composure.

“I do,” Anastassia blushed as much as possible due to the unorthodox vows.

“Do you, Oswald, take this woman, Anastassia, to be your lawfully wedded Hotwife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, serve, and obey, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?” Amy continued, making it Oswald’s turn to blush.

“Ja ... I do,” Oswald answered first in German due to his enthusiasm.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride,” Amy beamed as she made the marriage official.

“So ... what’s the level of ... cuckoldry here?” Lydia dared to ask as the happy couple swapped spit.

“Soft, definitely soft! Nothing too crazy here! No chastity crap, okay? You want to bang my new husband ... go for it! I used to get into ‘classic jealous Latina’ mode, but I’m growing out of that, I swear! Fuck him ... if you wish ... hell, fuck my boyfriend, too, if you wish! Or fuck Michael, if Vicky’s cool with it!” Anastassia suggested to Lydia, who now turned a bit crimson herself.

“Oh, my God ... I’m just ... floored by all of this ... it’s awesome! Well, I’m not gonna lie. I’d love to hook up with a married man or something like that, but only on one condition ... I get to marry one of you myself and formally join the group. Anyone here not married yet? But yeah, I’ll gladly bang Oswald. He’s such a cute, cuddly guy ... I love foreigners, anyway! I had a little crush on him since I first waited on him at Das Krauthaus! I’m of partly German descent myself! The other half is Scots-Irish, of course!” Lydia proposed to us.

“Him!” Amy, Oswald, Anastassia, Mom, and Michael all pointed to me.