Chapter 43

I answered the door and stared. “Bea?” I said. She smirked and slid by me into my front room. I closed the door and turned to face her. She suddenly looked serious.

“Bea?” It’s 10:00 p.m. I have to open tomorrow,” I said.

“I know. It’s always the same for you on Mondays,” she said.

“Okay?” I said.

‘You know I work for your brother, and that Ava and I have been friends for a thousand years, right?” she said.

“Yeah, so?” I said.

“So, you wanna marry me?” she said.

“Excuse me?” I said.

“I know this is a little sudden, but I’ve been thinking it over, and I think you and I would be a good match. There would for sure be some speed bumps along the way, but overall, a good match. So, big guy, whaddya think?” she said. I stared some more. I figured to be doing a lot of that.

“Huh?” I said. She sighed and sagged back on the divan where she’d taken a seat.

“I’m not going to shit you, Julian, the bad guys—in your opinion—asked me what I thought of the idea. At first, I wanted to laugh. I mean I’m for sure not in Ava’s league or Marian’s. But then I thought, why the hell not. I mean why not put it put out there and see if I might be able to reel in the fish this time. So many have wiggled off the hook in the past, that well ... just maybe,” she said. I stared some more.

“You’re serious aren’t you!” I said. “I mean this isn’t just some deal to make me feel less bad or something?”

“Yes, it’s serious. I told the bad guys that it was highly unlikely that you and I would work, but like I say, well, why not talk to you about it. All you could do is tell me to forget it,” she said.

“Wow!

“Bea, in truth, I never thought of you that way. I know you like laying the field, always have. So, I never gave you, it, any thought. That said...” I said.

“That said?” she said.

“Can I think about it, what you said?” I said. “I mean this is more than sudden. It’s shockingly sudden!”

“Obviously you can think about it. But please do think about it seriously. It’s the first time I’ve ever proposed to a guy, and well...” she said. “I guess we’ll talk again, soon, very soon,” she said.

“Yes,” I said. Then we had a cup of coffee, and a bit more conversation, and then she was gone. A short visit, a crazy idea, but was it crazy, the visit or the idea? Probably, very probably, I thought.

She’d asked me to think about things, the things she’d said. And I did, and I thought about some other things too. I thought about Marian. I thought about Ava. I thought about Angel. Angel was different; she’d needed me, but wasn’t after money; the other two were. And me? What did I want; what was I after?

All I ever wanted was my Ava. But Ava had made it clear that I was not what she wanted. What she’d said, and I’d over heard at the Blue Boar that day, was her real position on things her later protestations to the contrary notwithstanding. She saw me as being in the way of her happiness and felt helpless to do anything about it.

She’d done so many things to me and then made seriously strenuous efforts to rationalize her actions based on her strongly held belief that she’d never meant any of the things that she’d done were meant to hurt me; yet, all of the things she’d done had hurt me—bad.

I could have, and would have, settled for Marian, and that was the deal, it would have been me settling for her. And she might have been willing to settle for me because she was physically less than she had once been too. My short comings were worse than were hers, but hers were also pretty bad. We could have made it, but not with her willingness to be bought off by the bad guys.

And, now I had a decision to make and I made it. It had taken me three days. I made the call. We’d be meeting at the Blue Boar.

The woman of the house ushered her in to the library. Blake was seated and waiting, nervously waiting.

“Bea,” he said raising from his seat to greet her. He motioned her to have a seat. Ava was already taking hers; he retook his. A moment of quiet reigned.

“I proposed to him,” said Bea.

“Huh?” said Ava. Bea snickered.

“Yes, exactly,” she said. “He’s thinking things over. And no, I do not know how things are likely to turn out. He was maybe interested, but he was also confused which was fair, so was I.”

“Did he say how long he’d need to consider things?” said Blake.

“No, and as to that I don’t think he knew, knows, himself,” she said. The man nodded and glanced over at his wife.

“Candace?” said Blake.

“Involve her?” said Ava. Her husband nodded. “Well, I mean Candace has already let it be known that we should stay out of the matchmaking business.”

“Okay, you’re right. But maybe get her to support his decision if it’s positive, rather than help with the decision per se?” he said.

“Yes, okay,” said Ava. Bea nodded her support of the position.

“Okay, we’ll hold off on that for now. I guess now we just hope things work out for the best,” he said.

“Hmm,” said Bea. “I still kinda wonder just what would be the ‘best’ is the question. He and I always got along. I’d hate to lose a friend because of this—ploy. But I guess, like you say, we just hope and wait and see.”

How long should one wait before responding to a proposal of marriage, even when it’s the woman doing the proposing? In my case it had been three days, probably not a record.

I had a booth staked out by the window. It was a bit after 6:00 p.m. I saw her come in. She saw me and came to join me. It was hot even now, in the early evening; well, it was July.

She stood for a long moment just kinda watching me. She sat.

“Bea...” I started. She raised a restraining hand.

“Let me go first, Julian, please,” she said. I nodded my surrender.

“Okay,” I said.

“Julian, you are a helluva man. That’s why I even considered asking you what I asked you a few days ago. Yes, the Laughlin clan did kind of suggest it, but no it was not a pressurized suggestion; and no, no money was offered, bribe.

“Julian, I’d never considered it before; I mean marrying you. You were, and I think still are, too hung up on Ava. That said, I do believe that we could make it work. In the best of all possible worlds we could. But, if you are not in favor of it, please, sir, I do not want to lose your friendship. Okay? Anyway, that’s all I have to say, for the moment,” she said.

“Thank you for that, and no you will not be losing my friendship, even though you are working for the man. He didn’t buy you like he tried to do with Marian, or if he did you didn’t agree to it; and that means a lot to me; more than you can possibly know,” I said.

“Thank you,” she said. “So... ?” I looked down, then up.

“Can’t do it, Bea. Like you say, I can’t get over Ava, even though I know it’s my loss because I can’t. She crushed my heart in so many ways that I should be looking for revenge or at least a way to escape her. But with Candace in the mix and Ava being her mother, there is no practicable way. I could only wish there were,” I said. Bea nodded.