Chapter 1

Now let’s see. We revealed to the Patriarch and his three companions that I had multiple wives, I owned slaves, my wives and I weren’t born on Earth, and we did not believe in their Christian God. Just how much worse could something get.

That’s easy! The Patriarch’s angry comments attracted the attention of one of the men sitting at the table next to us. He was on vacation and he heard some of our disagreement. The worst part was, he was a reporter for a major European newspaper and he was always looking for a new scoop.

After our verbal exchange, the Patriarch and his three followers stormed off to see the purser, so they could get a different dining room table assignment. I didn’t think much of it at the time: but once they were seated at their new table, I saw a man join them. Yes, it was the reporter and they told him what they learned about us; although what they said contained a few errors.

From that point, things went downhill even further before the situation turned around and got better. I should clarify that by saying things got better for us while we were on the ship. About the only good thing that happened that evening was, Sto didn’t get up from where he was lying beside my chair and attack the Patriarch. Actually, he just laid there and quietly laughed at what was happening. Evidently, the Patriarch and his friends did not notice or hear Sto. If they had, they would probably have added a complaint about me having a vicious pet in the ship’s dining room.

One cell phone call later, and the reporter’s story hit the newsstands in Europe and the news quickly made its way to the US and elsewhere. The other media outlets just couldn’t wait to jump on the bandwagon and spread the Patriarch’s horrific story. They called it reporting the news and they made a lot of money spreading a sensationalized version of events. After dinner, I called Matt to let him know what had actually happened. He said we needed to do some damage control. I explained how I intended to handle the situation on the cruise ship.

When I finished briefing him on what happened and my plans, Matt said, “Let me talk with everyone, and see what we can do to fix this.”

“Ahh, Matt. I don’t think we should try to fix this. This was all going to come out sometime, so it will probably be best if we just acknowledge the truth of the situation. After all, we have done nothing wrong.”

Sometimes, I don’t believe how naive I was, back then. You don’t have to do something wrong for people to believe you are in the wrong.

Once our call ended, I sat in my suite and came to the conclusion: Matt is probably right, so I need to give what just happened some serious consideration. How fast the story was printed, how fast it spread, and the public’s responses were definite indicators of the severity of the problems I faced. But, I didn’t learn everything about those things until a couple of days later and that is when I agreed with Matt’s conclusion that I had a big problem that needed to be fixed.

It was clear that the information had spread very quickly to rest of the world’s media. It was inexplicable to me that the media made a big deal about my not being born on Earth, since I had already revealed my extraterrestrial origin to them when I presented my Ambassadorial Credentials to the United Nations. However, there is that old adage about sensationalism selling papers. Boy, did we give them a lot to work with.

The media made a big deal about my owning three slaves; however, they weren’t slaves in the context most of Earth thought of slaves. Although Rita may have qualified for she submitted herself to me and I accepted her servitude; the court had nothing to do with her submission to me. I had freed Rita from her commitment to me, so I actually only had two slaves; that little detail didn’t seem important at the time the Patriarch had confronted us. The fact that I had married my slaves wouldn’t have mattered; it might make the situation worse if someone thought I had forced my slaves to marry me.

Having four wives was blown out of proportion by the media. Plural marriage on Earth is a well-known relationship. Stories about plural relationships had been done many times in the US. Those stories would run in the papers for a day or two and then fade away. My situation was different. The media presented it as me having seven women, when I only had four. So, the public was upset about me being married to four women and having three additional women who were my slaves. I could envision the people reading the stories thinking that I was in bed with seven women, or perhaps they thought I played musical beds by going from bed-to-bed to have sex with all seven of my women.

I started reviewing the sequence in which I became aware of the public’s involvement in the story. If I could understand the evolution of their opinions, I might be able to find a good solution to end what was happening. I knew things wouldn’t go back to what they had been, but perhaps I could steer the public’s opinions to a more positive conclusion of who and what I am.

The first observable indication I knew about was, in less than a day, the story was on the front pages of all of Europe’s big newspapers, and it was the lead item on many of the television news stations. I knew that because the local news and television reports made their way to our cruise ship.

The second indication was, Matt told me that within hours of the news being made public in Europe, it reached the US, and the news spread across the US as fast as it had in Europe. I suspect it spread just as fast across the rest of the world.

I would like to say the third indication was the public’s responses, which would have told me Matt was obviously right when he told me this wasn’t going to go away. Of course I wasn’t aware of the full nature and scope of those responses until a few days after we left the ship, so I didn’t initially take them into account as much as I should have.

Initially, the various newspaper articles focused on four things: my not believing in the Christian God, my having multiple wives, my owning three slaves, and my wives and I being aliens from outer space. The only errors in their articles were they cited I had three slaves in addition to my four wives and that I had three slaves instead of two. Those two mistakes were minor and I doubted any correction would have much effect on the way people felt about us.

The day after our confrontation with the bigot, my wives, Sto, and I were the center of attention on the ship. For some reason, our bodyguards hadn’t been noticed by the bigot and his family. The ship’s passengers and crew would look us over closely, but in most cases, they were just curious.

Sto resembles a bear cub, so it is hard to believe he had been in the background until we were drawn to everyone’s attention. Can you imagine anyone walking around with a bear cub, especially without a leash, and no one noticing anything out of the ordinary? I certainly couldn’t, although we had only been on the ship for a few hours when the confrontation occurred. But once people noticed Sto, it seemed as if they were intimidated by him for they didn’t approach us.

I introduced Sto to our new table companions during breakfast and explained the situation to them. By lunchtime of the following day, word had spread through the ship that I was the Ambassador from the Multiverse, plural marriages were acceptable in the Multiverse, and the practice being called slavery in the Multiverse was not the slavery practiced on Earth, but was a Custodial Caretaker Relationship. That relationship was difficult to explain. The explanation that Sto was a sentient being was also discussed.

Once we explained these things and a few others to our table companions, they came to accept us as fellow humans even though we were not from Earth.

They also accepted my explanation of Sto being a sentient being, and then they reacted to him as if he were our pet. It makes me wonder if the people of Earth understand what it means to be a sentient being.

Overall, things were never bad for us on the ship. Most of the passengers and crew accepted us as people, and they did not perceive us to be a threat to them. Many of them actually found us to be very interesting, and once they saw Sto wouldn’t attack them, they engaged us in conversation about the Multiverse. But, there were a few xenophobes and religious extremists who avoided us like the plague.

Sto did his thing with the passengers when they approached us. After he rubbed on their legs and purred, most of the passengers thought he was adorable. A few of them asked if I could arrange for them to buy a pet like him. I had given up on explaining that Sto was a sentient being. I just told them that Sto was a Bushbie and Bushbies weren’t available for sale on Earth.

The Patriarch and his family were a different matter. To them, we were the Devil’s Spawn, and they explained that in great detail to everyone they met. They even held a demonstration in the pool area while we were lounging around the pool. It is difficult to relax on lounges and enjoy yourself in the pool area, when you are surrounded by people carrying signs, chanting, issuing threats, and doing other disruptive things. Sto just lay on a lounge chair and laughed at the demonstrators. Because of his size and since Sto’s laugh is a deep gravelly sound like a dog growling, the demonstrators didn’t get too close to us.

I recall one brief exchange I had with a demonstrator. He demanded, “Put your pet on a leash and control him before he attacks us.”

I replied, “Why? He is too busy laughing at you and your friends to attack you. He thinks you’re a big joke. In fact, there is a telepathic link between us, and he just told me he is enjoying it so much that he hopes you continue your idiotic behavior, so he can continue laughing at you.” I have to admit that Sto didn’t tell me that, but that is the impression I got from him over our link.

The pool demonstration was the first occasion in which shipboard security and my bodyguards merged their efforts to attain a single goal, which in this case was to ensure the Patriarch’s followers did not go too far in expressing their zeal for, what we would later come to call, a Pure Earth outlook. When it became clear that the Patriarch and his family were not going to leave the pool area, my wives and I returned to our cabin surrounded by our bodyguards.

Once we left the area, the demonstration fizzled out. As we left, the Patriarch finally noticed my bodyguards. He was almost as upset with them, as he was with us, when he learned they were also aliens. I suspect he believed them to also be heathen pagans. My lead bodyguard, Tammy Charles, had made it clear to the head of the shipboard security detail that my bodyguards would take a backup position in any confrontation, so their presence would not further anger the Patriarch’s people. That is probably why it took the Patriarch so long to notice them.

When the Captain of the ship learned of the poolside demonstration, he spoke with the Patriarch making it clear what would be done to his party and his followers if they continued to harass my party. That evening the Patriarch and his family created another confrontation in the dining room, while we were eating our evening meal.

Early the next morning, the ship put into port at Athens. I learned that afternoon that the Patriarch, his family, and two other families were escorted off the ship. I don’t know precisely what the other two families did, but I heard they were among the Patriarch’s main supporters. After they were removed, things became fairly pleasant for us on the ship for the rest of the cruise.

The attention we were getting did make it difficult for us to leave the ship in Athens and our subsequent ports of call. We didn’t have to stay onboard for the rest of the trip. We left the ship by me doing a lateral hop to an area not too far from the docks; line-of-sight hops aren’t difficult and they don’t require the major expenditure of energy used when hopping between universes. We usually enjoyed our day ashore before hopping back to our stateroom. On a few occasions, we were recognized and I would hop us to a part of the city we had already visited. The media was more of an annoyance for us than anything.

Matters were very different outside the ship’s environment. The media was in a feeding frenzy to start with, and they became even more so after they interviewed the Patriarch, his family, and the other two families. After Athens, reporters tried to board the ship at all of our remaining ports of call. The Captain refused to allow them to come onboard, so they would wait on the docks for us to come down the ship’s gangplank.

Their waiting at the gangplank after we left Athens was somewhat surprising to me. The media at our previous ports of call knew my wives and I had evaded the people who spotted us in Athens. They may have felt we had just slipped away unnoticed. I don’t think my abilities as a hopper were widely known, or perhaps they believed hopping was not possible.

Before we left Athens, two very enterprising Greek reporters managed to board the ship, and they made their way to my cabin. My bodyguards detained them as they were attempting to enter our stateroom. In an unexpected show of comradery, the shipboard security detail escorted five of my bodyguards and the two reporters to the rear of the ship. My bodyguards dropped the reporters off the fantail of the ship into some very dirty water. It was a long drop, but the reporters weren’t injured. It seemed like the two security groups declared a truce for the rest of the cruise. That incident was probably one of the reasons why the Captain refused to allow the media to board the ship at our subsequent ports of call.

The two reporters were very lucky that they didn’t get into our room. Sto was there and he had been in a bad mood since the Patriarch forced us to leave the pool area. He would probably have just smacked them around a bit to teach them a lesson in manners. However, a Bushbie smacking a human around would likely result in a stay in the hospital for the human. We would be arriving in Venice, our final port of call, in four days.

I really don’t understand the people of Earth. I appear in the United Nations General Assembly to present my credentials, and in the process I tell the world that I am an alien from outer space. The world’s media published the story and the small amount of notoriety I received quickly faded away; although, Matt claims it made me a celebrity.

Then a bigoted, religious fanatic starts screaming to the press about the details of my private life and that I hadn’t been born on Earth. People are up in arms about me being an alien from outer space even though I had publically acknowledged that fact months ago. The worst was the media making my private life public knowledge. In reality, my private lifestyle is not all that different from the lives of many of Earth’s people, but I am being crucified in the public’s eye for my immoral lifestyle.

Everyone is getting stirred up by the media, especially the portion of the media that Mary calls scandal sheets; Sue refers to them as the tabloids. Sue told me these were the ones that are right in front of me at the grocery store checkout counter. The ones that proclaim, Mister X denies having a love child with a woman from Uranus. It appalls me that any media outlet can turn a person denying a claim that is obviously false into a major news story.

Why is it that the people of Earth are more aware of and interested in the activities of a celebrity, than they are of the actions of the UN and their own governments?

The night before the ship was to arrive in Venice, the ship’s Captain paid us a curtesy visit to explain the situation we would face the next morning in Venice. We had planned on departing the ship at Venice and flying to Africa after a day or two of sightseeing. The Captain warned us that the media would be waiting for us on the docks tomorrow. He said that since the ship only had one gangway for disembarking passengers, it would be impossible for us to walk down the gangplank to the dock without encountering the media. He also told us we would be harassed in Venice and that there were reports of the media waiting for us in Africa.

It was evident that the Captain was not aware that we had left the ship on prior occasions without using the gangplank. So I told the Captain that I was a D-Hopper. I told him what that meant and that I would hop my party off the ship from my cabin instead of leaving the ship the normal way. He said he would keep that information to himself for now. He indicated that he was going to get a big laugh at the media waiting on the dock for me and my party to disembark by walking down the gangplank, when we had already used our alternate means of leaving the ship. I don’t think he liked the media. My wives and I had been laughing at our having left the ship during our visits to our prior ports of call without the reporters figuring out how we did it, so I understood the captain’s amusement. I didn’t like the media either.

I was more concerned about the media waiting in Africa than I was about the reporters on the dock. I had the Captain describe the situation with the media in Africa. After the Captain left, I talked with my wives and my lead bodyguard, Tammy Charles. We decided all the media attention would make it difficult to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon and for me to accomplish my goals in Africa. So, we decided I should discuss the situation with Bashira. I used my cell phone to call him.

“Afternoon, Bashira, this is Doug. It seems like I am going to have a problem with the media here in Venice and in Africa.”

“I agree, Doug. Amir and I just finished discussing the media attention and I was about to call you. We feel it would be best to reschedule your trip to Africa.”

“That is sort of what I was going to suggest, Bashira. My idea is for me to change my travel plans. I would like to cancel all of my current meetings with the leaders of the countries, and have you reschedule those meetings.”

Bashira said, “Yes, that is what Amir and I decided to do. What are you planning to do, Doug?”

“Well, instead of going to the three countries for meetings now, I’ll charter a plane to take me first to Zambia, then to Zimbabwe, and finally to Mozambique. Once I have been somewhere, I can hop to that location. So all I need to do in order to return to those countries is to hop to their airports. I am thinking of having my plane land at the three airports, get off the plane, and then get back on and leave. Once I’ve been to all three countries, I can hop back to the US.

“We can reschedule my discussions with the three leaders of the countries without letting the media know about our plans. The media will be expecting me to fly to the countries. But I can hop to the airport and if each government has a car waiting to meet me, it can take me to the meeting location. I can meet with the countries’ leaders before the media is aware I am in their country. As long as I don’t stay in a country for more than a few hours, the media won’t be able to interfere with my activities. If I have to spend a longer time in a country, I’ll just have to deal with the media.

“Do you think that will work, Bashira?”

“That sounds like a good plan to me, Doug, and Amir will probably agree. However, when I referred to the media attention, I was thinking of the discussion Amir and I had regarding the incidents on the cruise ship, which is what is causing the high level of media attention in Africa.

“In addition to rescheduling your visits, Amir thinks you have five issues that need to be addressed. The easiest issue to address will probably be your bodyguards dropping the two reporters off the fantail of your ship. The next easiest will be your being from another planet, since you announced that earlier. Your main problems will be your practicing a religion that is not practiced on Earth, having multiple wives, and you owning slaves. Do you have a plan to address the last three issues?”

“Not yet, Bashira. I need to discuss the issues with Matt and my people. After I get back to the ranch, I’ll work out an approach and then hold a press conference. I’m thinking that I should focus on my being from another culture, and in my culture, things are different than here on Earth. Although, I doubt that will help with the issue of my bodyguards arranging for the reporters to take a swim.”

“That sounds like a good approach, Doug. However, based on what Amir and I have experienced in the past, the members of the Western culture believe their culture is right and anyone with a different opinion who is from another culture is wrong. Actually, many members of the Western culture aren’t open to people with different opinions, and that includes people of their own culture. Of course, the members of the other cultures feel the same way about the beliefs of the Western culture and act the same way toward anyone who disagrees with them.”

“That is sort of what Matt was telling me. He thinks four of these issues will cause me a great deal of trouble, but he also said the issue with the reporters will blow over quickly.”

“I agree, Doug. Listen to Matt. He knows the West’s culture and how others of his culture will respond better than we do.”

“I am aware of that, Bashira, and I plan on using his advice and that of my other advisors in dealing with these issues. From what I have experienced, the media, here and in the Multiverse, is fickle and has a short attention span. They focus everyone’s attention on the issue of the day, and then move on to another issue the next day. It is rare for them to return to an issue once they have moved on. Right now, I’m their issue of the day. They will move on to a different issue shortly, but Matt told me I’m one of those rare cases where they will come back to me from time-to-time.”

“Is there anything Amir and I can do to help you, Doug?”

“At the moment, I think you and Amir should distance yourselves from my personal problems, Bashira. While I value your opinions and Amir’s, I don’t want to cause you or Amir problems or to have you waste your time on my problems.

“I’ll let you know what Matt and I decide to do, once we come to a decision on how to handle these problems. Then you and Amir can give me your opinions of our solutions. Right now, I think we need to discuss rearranging my trip to Africa.

“You and Amir need to make a few alterations to the arrangements we made for my visits with the leaders of the three countries. The alterations need to change our plans for my initial visits to short, unannounced trips to each country. I think it would be best if the trips were separated by several days. That will allow me to visit the countries, without too much media attention, and extend my stay if it is necessary. I am hoping to arrive in the countries and be gone, before the media learns I’m there and can get their people to my location.”

“I’ll let Amir know about your request, Doug. Do you have a timeframe for your first visit and do you prefer a specific country?”

“Let’s wait for several weeks and let the media move on to another issue-of-the-day before I meet with the leader of the first country. Amir said Mozambique approached him first, so it seems to me that I should meet with the leader of that country first. But, I will leave the details to you and Amir for it may be better if I meet with someone else first.”

“Doug, Amir will want to talk with you before he makes any arrangements.”

“I know, Bashira. Let him know I’ll call him, so we can talk, once Matt and I settle on a good approach for handling my problems.”

With my call to Bashira out of the way, I said, “Ladies, as you heard, our plans have changed. After breakfast tomorrow, we need to pack our things and return to the ranch.”

My wives and I went to bed and the ship arrived in Venice during the night. It was moored at the dock when we woke. My wives, Sto, our bodyguards, and I went to breakfast. During breakfast, I informed my bodyguards of the change in plans.

An hour after we finished breakfast, we were ready to leave. I called the Captain and let him know we were about to leave and thanked him again for everything he had done for us. When we ended the phone call, my wives and bodyguards joined hands, I grabbed onto Cindy and onto Sto’s fur, and then I hopped us back to the ranch. It was ten in the morning when we left the ship and two in the morning when we arrived at the ranch, so we all split up and went to our respective mobile homes.

My wives and I had just gotten out of bed a couple of hours ago and weren’t tired enough to sleep. While my wives started a load of wash and put everything away, Sto and I went to my office. He told me Coral wouldn’t appreciate being awakened this early in the morning.

At five thirty, Sto and I returned to our mobile home. My wives should have breakfast ready soon. Rita and Cindy joined me at the kitchen table and we talked while Betty and Carol fixed breakfast. Cindy said she wanted to clean up before going to the office, and would join me shortly. Sto left to be with Coral, and I returned to the office.

Matt and Bill found me in my office when they arrived at eight o’clock.

“It’s good to see you back,” Matt said. “Are you ready to talk about what happened or do you want to wait until later?”

“Is there anything you need to brief me on right now?”

“No, we haven’t had any emergencies here while you were gone. We have time to decide what to do about your bigot, before we have to act.”

“That’s good for I think I’m going to crash in a few hours, Matt. Set up a meeting for nine tomorrow morning. Have you come up with anything to resolve these issues?”

“Sorry, Doug, but no. I don’t think there is a way to resolve them. We will just have to work our way through things and see what happens.”

Bill said, “Sue and I talked about what happened, and she thinks things aren’t going to be as bad as they seem now.”

Matt and I looked at him, and Matt asked, “Any reason why she says that?”

“Yes, she said everyone reacted to the initial media articles based on them thinking you had been trying to hide the information. Sue thinks that there are a number of things that people need to be reminded of that will end most of the problems. We can discuss the details tomorrow.

Matt said, “You look tired, Doug. Why don’t you go home and rest? Just hang out with your wives and do nothing for the rest of the day.”

“I’ll give it a try, Matt, but I’ll probably get bored.”

With a big smirk on his face, Bill said, “I doubt your honeymoon is over this soon, Doug. Just let Rita know you need something to do. I’m quite certain she and the rest of your wives will find something to keep you busy.”

“I’m going to take your advice and head home, but first I have a few things that I have to do.”

I had just finished the last of the items I had to do when Cindy joined me in my office. She looked like I felt.

“I’ve had it, Doug. I didn’t sleep last night, so I’m going home. Right now, lunch and going to bed to sleep sounds good to me. You’re looking like I feel, so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. I suspect the rest of us are in the same condition.

“I’ve heard of jet lag, Doug, but I didn’t really understand it. Now I do. I suspect it is very similar to what you’ve experienced in the Multiverse when hopping. We woke up in Venice after a full restful night’s sleep, and a few hours later, we were back at the ranch. It was after midnight and we weren’t tired enough to go back to bed. Between a long day and jet lag, all I want to do is go home, eat, and go to bed to sleep. Do you want to come home with me, my love, so we can cuddle up with our wives and sleep?”

“Bill said something like that earlier, Cindy. I’ll let Matt and the others know we’re leaving, and I’ll be right with you.”

Cindy was right. Rita, Betty, and Carol were in about the same condition that we were or worse. Lunch was ready when we got home, so we ate and went to bed. We had no trouble sleeping through the night.

The next morning, I met with my advisors in our large meeting room. I had already been thinking about the four topics for several days, and I had spent some time yesterday deciding how to address the issues.

Once everyone was seated at the table, I said, “Good morning, everyone. My wives and I had a great honeymoon and we enjoyed ourselves. Unfortunately, we also created a big problem.

“I spoke with Bashira before we left the ship. He and Amir see the problem as five issues. This morning I would like to define each of the issues and devise a plan for addressing each issue. To start with, let’s consider my bodyguards dropping the reporters off the ship. Anyone have any opinions or ideas?”

Mary smiled and said, “I was listening to one of my talk shows and the guest celebrity said that he wished that he could drop the reporters that harass him off the fantail of a ship. The host agreed with him, and the audience laughed. Their attitudes indicate to me that people aren’t that upset about what happened to the reporters.”