If there’s anything more sexy and exciting for a closeted white sissy than dreaming about being a woman on your knees getting ready to serve a big black muscleman, it’s actually having the balls to go out there and make it a reality. It happened to me! I was married, to a hot sexy girly-girl Filipina. When we got married I was still trying to be in denial about my sexuality, but Dannie picked up on what I was early on. I mean, our sex life was great - mainly because I would be fantasizing being with some black man when we were having sex.

While I had never directly come out to Dannie, I had subconsciously - and - consciously been giving hints and cues for years. Sometimes Dannie would prod me to “tell the truth.” And while I came close - always when we were having sex - I would backtrack later and say that I was just going along with her “foolishness.”

Truth is, I wanted very badly to come out to Dannie, but I was afraid that would be all she needed to justify leaving me for good. No one who knew me thought much of me as a man, and people openly asked her what she was doing with me. She would tell me all the time about those comments. She was absolutely gorgeous, a real girlie-girl, while I was as plain as they come and the word “masculine” would not be the word that came to mind when looking at me.

We had neighbors, Jinky and Ted, and while Dannie made friends with Jinky - who was Filipina like her - Ted would have nothing to do with me. Ted was a man’s man, he liked football and hunting - stuff like that. Guys like him can sniff out a sissy like me from a mile away, and they avoid us like the plague. And even though Ted was everything a girl would want in a man, handsome, manly, etc., Jinky still fucked around behind his back with her Filipino boyfriend. Ted didn’t have a clue though, but I laughed every time I saw him, thinking about Jinky sucking her boyfriend’s cock, while Ted was at home, clueless, watching sports on television. At least I knew what MY wife was doing when she went out!

Right from the beginning, Dannie had explained to me that Filipina women are promiscuous, and that it’s not uncommon for them to have a boyfriend even after they were married that was particularly true if they were married to Caucasian husbands; at some point a Filipina woman has urges to be with their own kind, and they usually will have sex with Filipino or black men. In our case, Dannie had me read the minute she first talked to me. It took her a little while to figure out that I was a straight up faggot, but she knew that I was fundamentally a weakling. After she began dating this black guy named JJ, she began to suspect that I was gay, because I didn’t object to her relationship, and also that I was always asking her about what she and JJ did in bed, and how big his dick was. That, combined with my general lack of masculinity was what made her realize what the deal was with me. A lot of times Jinky would come over and all three of us would hang out. We were doing that one evening when Dannie got a call. It was JJ and he wanted her to meet him someplace.

Jinky and I told her to go ahead, that we’d hang out until she got back. Jinky had brought over a couple of bottles of White Zinfandel, so we cracked one and were just talking. Well, I’ve never been very good about being able to hold my alcohol, and next thing you know, Jinky had me blabbing like a brook. She wormed it out of me and I confessed to her that I was gay. So between 2 bottles of white zin and an entire box of Kleenex, I told her everything - about sneaking out to the adult book stores, the glory holes, the cross dressing - everything! I had never admitted any of this to Dannie, now here I was, coming out of the closet to Jinky. I was sobbing and begging her not to tell Dannie. She promised me she wouldn’t, but I guess I really knew that she would. The alcohol had lowered my defenses, and, the fact, is, I wanted Dannie to know! I was sick of living a lie. I realized that this was probably going to be enough for Dannie to use as an excuse to dump me. Filipina women will stand by their marriage vows - even though they may cheat - but the one thing they won’t put up with is a husband who is a homosexual.

The first time it sorta came out in the open between all three of us was a couple of weeks later, during Halloween, and they suggested that I go as a woman - just for a joke. Jinky had told Dannie about me being gay, despite her assurances that she would keep my secret. I resisted at first, and outright refused. But later, when I was alone, the idea began to intrigue me. I tried to bring it up to Dannie later, and when I did I caught her giving me a look and smiling.

Halloween was a few days later, and that afternoon we all got together at our apartment to get into their costumes. We were all drinking white zin and giggling. Jinky and Dannie were going to dress as streetwalkers, And they asked me to do their make up. Somehow during the afternoon, Jinky jokingly put a wig on my shaved head. We all laughed then she put some lipstick on me. I protested weakly and before I knew it I was wearing a tight spandex minidress - supposedly all as a joke! That’s when Dannie suggested again that I dress up and come along with them. They were going to a club downtown that was known for having Tranny Nights, where cross dressers and trannies and their admirers made up the crowd. Every year they had a big Halloween party, and on that night everyone was welcome - straight, gay, shemale. I had consumed quite a bit of white zin, and I allowed the girls to “persuade” me to go along with their plans. So I sat there on a bar stool while they did my makeup and teased up my blonde wig and fit me back into the spandex minidress. “But what about high heels?” I found myself asking.

Without a word, Dannie went into our bedroom and came back with the red 4 inch pumps I had been hiding in our closet. I blushed beet red. “You mean these, darling?” she said smirking. “Don’t worry, I found these when I was looking for my stuff a few months ago. It’s ok - lots of guys like to dress up!”

Go ahead, Keven, try them on!” Jinky squealed, sipping her wine.

I pretended to be uninterested, but as the girls teased up and sprayed my blonde wig up really high, and then applied green eyes shadow and red lipstick, I began to get really excited. Fuck! I looked so fuckin SEXY!

When I saw myself in the mirror I had to suppress how delighted I was at how I looked. It was just like when I was younger and had been with Jay. I had been delighted and amazed at how sexy and girly I looked in the full-length mirror. Here I was, years later, feeling exactly the same. But because my wife and her friend were there, I pretended to be unhappy with the results.