Chapter 1

I am getting sick of her shit. For months Daisy has been leading me on as we date. Today is the last straw. Something snapped when I saw his Prius parked where my truck should be. I decided right then that they would regret it.

I’m not a religious person but was sick of trying to pick girls up at bars and parties. I wanted a lasting relationship, so I found a church that catered to single people from the ages of 18 to 30. That is where I met her.

Daisy is the most gorgeous woman I have ever met. Her hair is a natural firey red, and her eyes are a majestic green that are so beautiful when you first see them you will not even notice how alluring the rest of her is. She has the face of a model and the body of a ballerina. I can not imagine God ever sculpting somebody this perfect ever again.

We didn’t meet the first day I went to church. Her friends had invited me to a swing dance at the Edelweiss Club the following Friday. She and I were the only ones that knew what we were doing, so naturally, we gravitated towards one another and spent most of the night dancing, forgetting our friends.

Our first date, we hit it off even better. We are both adventurous people that tend to be intimidating, so it isn’t very easy for us to find a partner. We were compatible in every way, and it felt right to be together. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

I only had two complaints. The first was, Daisy wouldn’t do anything besides kissing. She wanted to save herself for marriage. Considering I had gone to church to find her, I wasn’t going to complain and was patient. The second was, she was a bit vain. It didn’t matter. Over the months, we grew closer and closer.

Then he came along. Jason is a charismatic asshole who had just moved to town. You know the type. He always manipulates people to get what he wants and cares nothing for anybody but himself. The problem is he is charismatic enough that he fools everybody into thinking he is a nice guy.

I first started noticing them passing smiles and flirting when they thought I couldn’t see. I wasn’t worried. If Daisy wouldn’t have sex with me, her boyfriend for almost a year, I couldn’t see her fooling around with a relative stranger.

Within days of meeting Jason, every time we were out of earshot of our friends, he would insult or taunt me in some way. I didn’t know what to do. I told Daisy about it, but she laughed it off, saying it was all in my head. I have not the charisma to challenge him socially, so I put it aside.

My upbringing told me I should kick the shit out of him and be done with it. But, I grew up in the north where such things were acceptable and done often. Now that I lived in civilization, such things were frowned upon and could turn you into a social pariah.

A month after we first met Jason, I had cancelled a date with Daisy because I thought I would have to work late that day. It turned out I got finished much earlier than I initially thought.

I decide to surprise Daisy by grabbing takeout from her favourite Italian restaurant. Something snaps when I see his Prius parked on the road, where my truck should be. I know if I go in there and there is anything untoward, I will not be able to control myself, sending me to jail and him to the grave.

Instead, I decide to park down the road where they will not notice my truck but where I can see the entrance to her basement suite and his car. I know it will be a while, so I dig in and eat the meal that was meant for us to share.

As I am finishing the meal, I grow tired of waiting. I put the leftovers away, then dig out my phone. I give Daisy a call.

She laughs as she says, “Hello.”

That isn’t how she typically answers when I call. She always checks the caller ID. This time something distracted her from it.

“Hi, Honey. I’m just finishing up and will be there in a half-hour.”

She lets out a squeal before saying, “That soon?”

“Ya, why? Is there a problem?”

Typically, we don’t have short phone calls. Even after a year, we are still in the puppy love stage of the relationship where neither of us can get off the phone, never wanting to say goodby.

“See you then,” she says as she squeals again and hangs up.

Five minutes later, he is coming out of her place, fixing his shirt and putting on his shoes. She comes to the door half-naked and kisses him goodby while he gropes her in places she would never let me touch.

I sit and watch him climb into his car with a shit-eating grin on his face. He is so full of himself; he doesn’t notice driving by me as I look at him.

I wait fifteen minutes then pull my truck up to park where his car was moments ago. The bitch answers her door, wearing sweats and a towel on her head as if she has just come from the shower.

“Hi, Honey, “ She says as she leans in to kiss me.

I bring my hand up to my face to block her then fake a coughing fit.

“Sorry, Babe. I’m coming down with something. We shouldn’t kiss.

“Ohhh, do I need to make you some soup?”

“I’m fine.

As is our norm, we snuggle on the couch and watch a rom-com. I have no clue which. My mind is focusing on all the things I am going to do to this whore. The entire evening she acts as though nothing is up.

For ten days, I play her silly game, pretending nothing is wrong but faking being sick, so I don’t have to kiss her whore mouth. At the same time, I stop buying her things and stop letting her have her way.

Wednesday, we meet our friends at a local restaurant, as we do every Wednesday, for wings night. I give her the cold shoulder but not enough for any of our friends to take notice. At the end of the night, she makes a scene.

She stands up as we all get ready to leave, and in a raised voice, she says, “Screw you, Branden. You don’t love me anymore. We’re over. I’ll find my own way home.”

All our friends look at me in pity, not knowing what is going on. I look at her as if I have no clue what she is talking about and calmly ask, “This isn’t because I forgot to buy you flowers this week, is it?”

Her only answer is to slap me and storm off. Nobody else notices her jumping into Jason’s car with him. He has that shit-eating grin on his face again.

On the inside, I am smiling, but on the outside, I am pretending to be hurt and confused. I know the prick can out-charm me, and they will be accepted as a couple within days. He isn’t smarter or more sadistic. He has underestimated me and will pay for the rest of his life.

I have it all planned out and have everything ready. Friday is a church dance, where our friends will expect me to attend. I love to dance. She broke up with me, but our friends didn’t.

As I expect, Daisy shows up with Jason and few people view it as out of the ordinary. He has already convinced them that he has only swung in to rescue her after the fact. Her friends love him, knot recognizing him as the asshole he truly is.

I stay away from them for the entire dance, working my way through dancing with all the other girls there. There are a few I like that I go back to more than once, but I keep it strictly platonic.

When they call last dance, I don’t take to the floor as expected. Instead, I head to the punch bowl. I pour three glasses of punch and drop a rock looking thing in one glass. It is a modified version of Flakka. It isn’t enough to turn him full-on zombie mode, but it is modified to maximize his rage. Since he will be ingesting it, there will be a delay before it kicks in.

As the song ends, I make my way to the new lovebirds, handing Jason his cup first, ensuring he is the one that has the Flakka. Jason looks at me questioningly, expecting me to hit him. I give Daisy her glass and say, “Don’t worry. I’m not mad. I evidently never had her heart like I thought I did. You won. I just don’t want to cause problems with our friends, and I wish you all the happiness. I’m just glad I found out you didn’t love me before we went any farther.”

Daisy is looking as sad and guilty as I could imagine any girl ever looking. Jason is once again wearing his shit-eating grin. He has no idea how much his life is about to change. A lot of our friends are listening in on our exchange, which I was hoping for.

He bluffs for the crowd’s benefit, “I didn’t have anything to do with Daisy until after you broke her heart.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything, nor am I here to argue. I just want to give you my best wishes and move on.”

“I’m glad to see you acknowledge who is the better man, “ he says in as the smuggest tone I ever heard.

Knowing what they are in for, I don’t want to fight. I just nod my head at Daisy in a loving gesture and move on.

One thing I did while waiting for her to break up with me was I installed an app on her phone. She never cleans up her apps, and there are apps on there she has only ever used once, cluttering up the phone. If she ever notices the app, it will be a year from now, and then she likely won’t check it out, to see what it is, before she deletes it. The app turns on the phone’s mic and allows me to listen.

Driving home, I listen to their conversation and watch her location, using the find a friend app. After winning an argument about taking her to his place, he talks smack about me the rest of the ride. I can hear his rage slowly build up.

They get in his apartment, and I can hear clothing being torn as she is complaining, “Jason, don’t. Please, stop. Jason, no.”

“Shut up, bitch,” He snarls as I hear a slapping noise, I assume is his hand across her face.

She sniffles and softly cries. I can hear her screaming for all that she is worth. The screaming ends as I hear her choke. Thankfully the choking doesn’t last long. The pleading and screaming strikes up again as I hear Jason beating her.

I’m not worried. Victoria is a small and peaceful city. People still call the cops when they hear their neighbour in trouble. I’m not interested in listening to her beating, so I turn the app off, close my garage door and get out of my truck.

As I get ready for bed, I watch the find a friend, turning it off when I notice she is on her way to the hospital.

Saturday, our church is hosting a soccer tournament for the churches on the island. It is something Daisy would never miss. I check the find a friend app to see where she is, and her phone is at home. I turn on the listening app, and I can hear her crying. She is safe, and he should be in jail, so I turn the apps off and immerse myself in the tournament.

A little after lunch, Jason shows up to cheer on our team. Normally, the police would let a domestic disturbance assailant go the morning after the call if they felt it was safe, and he wasn’t a risk. Given what I heard coming from her phone, there was more than enough evidence to prove otherwise, and he should be awaiting a bail hearing on Monday. This tells me that his family is connected and probably wealthy.

Between games, I walk up to Jason and loud enough for everybody to hear I say, “When Daisy was on her way home from the hospital last night, she phoned me and told me all about how you were beating her.”

It is a lie, but nobody needs to know that. It worked. He may be charismatic, but he isn’t used to having to defend himself against allegations that can be proved.

“Go to hell, asshole. You lost. Get over it. She is mine.”

“If you didn’t beat her, then where is she? She would never miss this tournament unless there was a very good reason.”

“She is sick, ok. Now, fuck off.”

“Sure seems funny that we all saw her a few hours ago, and she was fine. Now you tell me she is home, sick when I know for a fact she is home, hiding her injuries, ashamed of what you did.”

I notice Sheril, one of Daisy’s friends, tries to phone her but gets no answer.

Jason is flustered and doesn’t know what to do. In desperation, he stands, then takes a swing at me. I easily duck out of the way and step back. Our friends are not big on fighting, so they step between us and I walk away as Jason shouts threats at me. As this is a church function, he is asked to leave.

Sunday, Daisy doesn’t show up to church, and none of her friends have heard from her. Her friends all know if she were sick, she would have answered her phone by now. The girls all shun Jason, though he was his typical self and tried flirting with them as much as he could.

It isn’t until the following Sunday that anybody hears from Daisy. She shows up to church, holding Jason’s hand. She smiles with her mouth, but her eyes tell a different story indicating her true feelings. Her friends all want things to be good, so they ignore the signs. This pisses me off.

Monday is much of the same as Daisy snuggles up to Jason in the evening while we have scripture study. As it ends, I approach Daisy. Jason holds her tight and scowls at me, saying, “What the hell do you want?”

I ignore him and ask Daisy, “In front of everybody, are you really going to deny that you phoned me, hopped up on painkillers, telling me all about how Jason beat the crap out of you?”

“I was sick, Branden. Stop being so jealous. We aren’t a couple anymore. Get over it.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“If I phoned you, it would be in my call history.”

She pulls out her phone and scrolls through the history showing there was no call. I take the phone from her and delete the entry above where the call I am lying about should be.

Sarcastically I say, “Oh, so I didn’t just delete a call from your history. Your phone proves nothing.”

“Just get out of our way and leave us alone. We are over. Find some other girl to harass.”

I don’t push it any farther and let them go.

Tuesday is hike night. None of us want another scene. I stay at the back of the pack, and they remain near the front. It is Wednesday when I make my next move.

Wednesday is when a smaller group of our friends meet up at Josh’s place to play board games. Once again, we don’t want a scene, so they play games at one table and me another.

Near the end of the evening, Jason gets up to use the bathroom. I take a seat in his chair and tell Daisy, “I’m sorry if I have upset you lately. I am just concerned. It is apparent that you want me to leave you alone, so I will.”

While I am talking, I palm another small rock of Flakka and drop it in Jason’s drink so nobody can see. They are too busy paying attention to the conversation I am having with Daisy to notice.

All she says is, “Thank you,” but I can see her eyes pleading. I ignore it, pretending I don’t know that she wants help. I get up and head back to my table before Jason gets back.

Before they leave, I can tell that the drugs are kicking in. Jason is getting pushy, and everybody wants him to go. They are the first to leave, and I am soon behind them.

I only drive to the backside of the next block before I pull over and turn on the apps. They are heading to Daisy’s place. It is closer than Jasons. When I turn on the audio, I hear Jason say, “I don’t care if you still have feelings for him. You are mine now, bitch. I have given you enough time to heal. My dick wants in your tight little cunt, and you are giving it to me tonight.”

She doesn’t say anything. She just cries. There isn’t any more conversation until the car stops, and they get out.

“Please, Jason, no. I just want to go to bed.”

SLAP

“That is where we are going, slut.”

She screams and cries while they make their way to her door. I can hear a door slam, and then the old woman that lives upstairs from Daisy starts yelling, “You leave her alone, boy. That is no way to treat a girl.”

He is far enough gone from the drugs that he doesn’t reply with words. He just grunts, then I hear a SMACK and the old lady crying.

Daisy is crying out, “No, leave her alone. I’ll do it. Please.”

I recognize the voice of her next-door neighbour as he says, “No, you won’t. I already called the police. They will be here in a minute.”

I hear what sounds to be a struggle. I only guess Jason attacked the neighbour. It isn’t like he can control himself. They call the drug Zombie for a reason. It is a good thing that I only gave him a small dose.

It is a few minutes before the police show up. By then, Daisy is screaming again. I’m guessing the neighbour lost the fight.

The screaming doesn’t last long before I can hear the sirens. I hear car doors slamming shut, and one of the cops saying, “Holy shit.”

His partner is yelling, “Get down on the ground, Now.”

All I hear from Jason is grunting. Then there is a clicking of the capacitors discharging in a stun gun, followed by an, “Oh, shit ... Shoot him. Shoot him.” Then I hear the discharge of a second stun gun.

That obviously didn’t work as the next sound is the thumping of police batons against human flesh. A minute later, I hear the clicking of the handcuffs as Jason is likely on the ground with a police officer on top of him, putting him in cuffs. Before I hear the second cuff clicking, I hear the other officer say, “Hurry up and cuff him before he gets up again.”

When the dust settles, I hear the sirens of an ambulance. Evidently, the neighbour was hurt worse than I thought. After the police leave, I turn the apps off and start the truck to go home. Before I get the truck in gear, my phone rings. It is Daisy.

“Hi, Branden.”

“What do you want? I thought we weren’t having anything to do with each other anymore.”

“I know, but he did it again. Can you come over?”

“Yes, but I don’t know what that will accomplish.”

“Please.”

“Sure, give me a minute.”

“Thank you.”

I hang up on her and put the truck in gear. Instead of driving straight there, I stop off at McDonald’s and order a couple large hot chocolates. It used to be, if she had a bad day, I would make her one from scratch using cocoa.

When she answers the door, I don’t say hello. I hand her one of the cups and tell her, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have it in me to make one from scratch.”

I can see her run through the emotions, thinking this is a sign that there is hope for us but then realize my lack of effort suggests otherwise.

“I’m sorry. You were always right about him. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Bull shit. If that were true, you never would have fucked him while we were still dating.”

She is stunned and takes a minute to recover.

“You knew?”

“Yes. Why do you think I pretended to have a cold for so long? I didn’t want to kiss a whore that was cheating on me.”

“How did you know?”

“I got off early from work and decided to surprise you with your favourite meal.”

“Chicken parmesan from The Spaghetti Factory?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was waiting for you to confess. I thought you loved me.”

The water in her eyes increases and it is all she can do to stop herself from balling her eyes out.

“I do.”

“If that were true you wouldn’t have turned me into a cuck, spread your legs and slutted about with a guy you didn’t even know, after telling me you were saving yourself for marriage, then lied to our friends about me, lied to me and lied about what was happening. Even after he put you in the hospital, you lied. You don’t love me. After what you keep doing, how am I supposed to love you?”

She was hoping I would comfort her, but instead, I am letting her come to the conclusion that I want to, but because of her, I can’t. The more she thinks about it, the more she cries. She is incapable of speech when I continue, “I want to be there for you. I can’t turn my heart off as you did. I just can’t. You tore my heart out and hurt me worse than I could ever do to my worst enemy.”

Of course, that is a lie, but she is the one that decided we would forgo the honesty in our relationship.

I leave her curled up on her floor, crying.

Friday is movie night at the church. I was hoping Jason’s dad would realize bailing his son out doesn’t help him to learn. Not all parents are willing to sacrifice for their children. He bailed Jason out again. Daisy and Jason show up, holding hands.

I am no fool. I understand that abuse victims tend to go back to those that abused them. I left Daisy no other place to go. With everything she did and how vain she is, there is no way she can admit everything to any of her friends. I play it up and look hurt to cause her more pain.

Saturday morning, I phone Jason.

“Hi, Jason. It’s Branden.”

“What the hell do you want?”

“You want your name cleared, and I want to be rid of Daisy. Why don’t you come by at one and we can talk about it? Leave the slut at home.”

As I wait for him to come over, I watch out my livingroom window without a shirt on. I have a baggy red t-shirt waiting to be put on. My truck is parked at the end of my driveway so he can’t park there. I live on a narrow street, so visitors have to park a distance from my place.

When he drives by, I have plenty of time to get ready. I quickly take care of business, then throw on my red shirt. Before he gets to the house, I get to the stairs at the side entrance, the door everybody knows I use as the main entrance. I sit and wait for him, having lost most of my strength to stand.

He sees me and walks up to me, saying, “Hi.”

“I figured this would be a symbolic gift. I’m cutting ties with the bitch and am moving on.”

I hand him an expensive pocket knife in a box. He pulls it out but doesn’t notice the blood on it until it is too late, and he has his fingerprints all over the handle. The knife is an exact duplicate to the one I just cut myself with.

I stand up, screaming, “Stop, no ... You can have the bitch ... She isn’t worth my life. “ As I am yelling, I am ripping my shirt to shreds, and he sees my chest.

It is all in perfect timing as my neighbour’s friends are walking down the sidewalk and see us. The guy gets his phone out and starts recording while his wife calls the cops.

Jason panics and drops the knife then runs. I fall over, being sure to spill my blood all over the blade to make it look as if it were the knife that cut me.

My back is to my neighbour’s friends, so I take out the other knife and make some more cuts, making it even worse. I keep everything superficial and not deep. Hearing the commotion and her friend screaming into the phone, Jasmine, my neighbour, comes running out to see me lying in a pool of blood.

I close the knife in time as she rolls me over to look at the wounds. The guy snaps a few pics as I palm my knife into my back pocket, where nobody can see.

Thankfully, the ambulance arrives before the cops, and I am on my way to the hospital when the police arrive. I had cut myself a little more than I intended. It is a good thing I am a larger than average man as I have lost about 7 pints of blood before the doctors start patching me up. It isn’t the most I have ever lost, but it is a close second.

When I regain consciousness, I ask the nurse to phone my priest, so I can get a blessing. That wasn’t the real reason. The priest arrives and gives me a blessing.

“Is there anything I can do for you before I go.”

“I assume you have a phone list for the congregation?”

“Yes, but I thought they weren’t giving you back your phone until you leave.”

“Can you phone Patty and Amanda? Let them know I am here and could use a visit tonight.”

Patty and Amanda are the church gossips. After they leave, they start phoning everybody to let them know Jason tried to kill me. He has just lost the few places he had to hide from the police and is captured by the end of the day. This time his dad can’t bail him out.

In the morning, I’m released from the hospital and stop off at the church before going home. I am there in time for services and sit in the back, wearing the clothes the hospital gave me to go home in.

One by one, everybody approaches me to see if I am alright. In front of everybody, Daisy hugs me but is crying too hard to say anything. I stand there, pretending to feel awkward, but inside I am gloating.

After a while, I tear her off of me and say, “I think after everything that has happened, for your sake, this conversation should be in private where you can say what it is you want to say and not have to worry about other people judging us.”

She just nods in agreement.

“As you can imagine, I’m not up to making supper. Bring something over, and we will talk then.”

The look on her face is still pathetic, but there is a ray of hope shining through.

When I get home, I pull my truck into the garage, so there is room for her to park, then I take a nap on my couch. I wake to the sound of her knocking on the door. I just sit up and yell for her to come in.

She stands nervous, not sure what to say.

“Well?”

“Ever since you left my place, I have done nothing but think of what I should say to you. There is nothing I can say. I am sorry, but by now, that means nothing. I’m willing to do anything so that you will stop looking me with hatred in your eyes. I know you don’t think so, and my actions say otherwise, but I still love you. Even if I can’t have you, I want you to be happy.”

“That is a start, but you have proven that your words mean nothing.”

Verbally I slap her across the face as I say, “After all your dishonesty, not only to me but lying about me to our friends, How am I supposed to trust anything you say?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you serious about wanting to make up for what you did?”

“Yes, I’ll do anything.”

“You only say that because you have nowhere left to go. Your friends all hate you for hurting me.”

I rip my shirt off and say, “You did this to me. It was as much you as it was him.”

She starts crying uncontrollably and can not speak. She doesn’t see the evil smile on my face.

“I can’t go to work for at least a week. Then I am on half days for another week. I can’t clean my place or even cook a meal. All of this because of you. If you want to make things right, you will need to repent properly. Part of repentants is to make restitution. To start with, that means you will come here every day after work. You will clean up, cook my meals and help me to wash. Anything I can’t do, you will.”

She wipes her tears and has a ridiculous smile on her face as she hugs me, saying, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. This is just the beginning. While you do all this, you will do it in silent contemplation. Thinking about how much you are willing to give to make it right. Every day you will tell me what you are willing to give. Remember, I thought I had a pure, loving partner that was going to give me her maidenhead on our wedding night. You stole that from me when you spread your legs for that asshole. You tarnished my name with lies. All these things you need to do what you can to restore, even if I kick you to the curb as I feel like doing. You are just lucky that I need somebody right now.”

Of course, luck had nothing to do with it. I orchestrated the entire thing.

“How am I supposed to make up for all of that?”

“Each day, you will contemplate it. Before you go home, you will tell me a minimum of one thing you will do to rectify the situation. Then you will follow through. Any time you drop the ball, you will be punished.”

She looks nervous, but her tears have started to dry up since she is finding a way through the minefield she created. She continues to stand there, immobile, with my supper in hand.

“Are you going to just stand there or are you going to feed me? You aren’t acting like you want to repent.”

“I’m sorry. It will be ready in a minute.”

Mentally I am licking my lips. I can’t wait to see Daisy naked. She is probably a dead fish in bed, but I will teach her.

I go back to relaxing on the couch and wake when Daisy shakes me to ask, “Do you want me to dish out a plate and you can eat here or do you want to come to the table and dish yourself out?”

“The table is fine. You can help me up, though.”

She does her best to help me up, but I am much bigger than her, so it is comical to watch. She probably did more harm than good as she pushed on my chest, and I felt a scab give way.

When we sit at the table, she is the first to start serving herself. I just sit there shaking my head.

“This isn’t a very good start. What is this shit?”

“I don’t know what you mean. I have made all of this for you before, and you were always quite happy.”

“I was making concessions for a woman that loved me. I no longer have that problem. You know I am a meat and potato kind of guy, yet you serve macaroni salad, caesar salad, rice and a pathetic amount of chicken. I’ll take all the chicken and most of the rice. You can eat the rest of this shit.”

“You need a balanced diet to heal. I need The B Vitamins, protein and sleep top heal. I can get all that from eating meat. Don’t stick me with a diet designed for stupid white men. I’m half native. They ate meat and berries with a little bannock.”

“You still need a balanced diet.”

“You are a dumb slut. How am I supposed to treat you with respect? I try to give you a chance, and all you do is argue with me. You can either remain silent as you were told or fuck off, and I will hire somebody else to help.”