Chapter 27

His fingers slid across her cheeks and into the luxuriant softness of her hair; not to grip, or hold, or tug, but simply to create yet another point of connection. His touch signaled that he was fully awake, and she began suckling his rod with more urgency, sliding her tongue down the bottom of his shaft to cradle its length while she fed more of it into her throat. Humming with pleasure, she worked herself downward inch by inch until she’d taken the entirety of his erection.

For a few moments she let him rest deep in her gullet, after which she slowly withdrew her lips, putting her tongue back into action to swirl around and lap at his sensitive flesh. His hands still didn’t move, but instead simply followed her head as it hovered over his cock. Sucking hard, she pulled him back into the depths of her throat and began bobbing up and down, picking up the pace as he careened towards his peak and then exploded in her mouth, moaning her name the entire time.

“Kathryn ... oh god, yes, Kathryn... Kathryn... yes!”

A half-dozen noisy swallows later, she pulled her mouth free. “Well, I suppose I should be grateful that you managed to call out the correct name.” Despite his post-orgasmic languor, his eyes snapped open. Hers, still somewhat dulled by the trauma of the day before — and a weekend-long bacchanal from which neither of them had fully recovered — were twinkling with amusement.

“She told you about that?”

“That’s not all she told me, porn star,” she added with a sexy laugh, returning her mouth to his glans and initiating a second round of exquisite oral pleasure.

Once they’d finally wrested every ounce of enjoyment out of the previous night’s ‘82 Pétrus, she more or less dragged him upstairs, tore his clothes off, and mounted him before he could utter a word of affirmation or protest. Her fierce intensity as she rode him to her climax — which took only two or three minutes to achieve — told him everything he needed to know about the urgency of her desire. A dozen orgasms for her (but only one for him) later, the first desperate wave of her need had been sated, and she rolled over, legs spread wide, encouraging him to take the reins and use her as he wished. Which he did; vigorously at first, but more romantically as their coupling went on, pouring load after load into her increasingly sloppy cunt. At some point, he collapsed from a constellation of exhaustions — physical, mental, emotional, sexual — and fell asleep on top of her, his shaft still buried deep in her sex, shrinking as it bathed in a sea of their fluids.

The next morning, Kathryn didn’t stop until she’d coaxed three more eruptions from his organ, after which she led him to the shower and made an elaborate show of meditatively cleansing him, treating him to many of the same pleasures that Faith had bestowed on the trio, except more slowly and lovingly. When she was done, he gratefully returned the favor. He even, under her patient but amused tutelage, made an effort to wash her hair; something she endured for a while before telling him that he’d need a lot more practice to be trusted with it on a day when she actually had to leave the house. Once he was done, she turned and pressed her breasts against the shower glass, widening her stance and wiggling suggestively. It was an invitation he couldn’t misidentify, and a few moments later his rod was rhythmically stroking in and out of her ass, lubricated by a bottle of baby oil that, due to the frequency of such activities, never left the shower.

Such was Kathryn’s accumulated fatigue that she only made it through about an hour of work before wearily trudging upstairs, shedding her clothes, and collapsing on the bed, indicating that Luke should go ahead and eat lunch without her. He was almost finished with a quiet, solitary, and wine-free Tuscan steak salad assembled from leftovers and a handful of borrowed ingredients when there was a short, sharp knock on the apartment door.

“ ... hi.” It was a hesitant greeting, full of import and matters looming but as yet unsaid. Luke could only sigh and nod.

“Hello, Irina. Thanks for coming.”

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Of course, though I should warn you that Kathryn’s naked.”

“What a surprise,” she answered in a half-intrigued, half-annoyed tone. “Did I interrupt something sweaty? You seem pretty composed and overdressed, if so.”

“No, just lunch or a nap, depending on who you’re asking about. Anyway, as long as you’re fine with it — and I guess it’s nothing you haven’t seen before — come on up.”

“Actually, first things first.” Pointing to a small pile of boxes on the doorstep, she lowered her voice and demanded, “Are those what I think they are?”

“That depends,” Luke equivocated, glancing nervously at the boxes. They must have arrived while we were in the shower. I did request overnight shipping, but... “What do you think they are?”

“I’ve ordered a few things from that company over the years. It looks like you went on quite the shopping spree. Jumping in with all handcuffs blazing, are you?”

Seeing little point in trying to deny what she quite obviously recognized, he explained, “It’s a whole collection of things I didn’t necessarily know existed. A sort of kinky starter kit, I guess.”

“You could’ve just asked to borrow my stuff. She’s already familiar with most of it, after all, and it’s not like I’m using any of it.”

He tried to ignore the itch of arousal in his loins at the thought, though he was a little surprised that Irina had just come out and confessed what he’d only learned a day ago. Though I suppose Kathryn might’ve told her what we talked about when they were on the phone. Or maybe it’s her way of reminding me that they have a past. “While you told me you tended dominant, I didn’t know the two of you were into this sorta thing until yesterday morning. Anyway, wouldn’t that be a little inappropriate, considering your history together? Shouldn’t those things be ... I dunno, yours?”

“I suppose you’re right, though at least you’d have an idea about what she does and doesn’t like. Anyway, take your dirty deliveries upstairs and stash them in the closet or whatever, then join me at the lake.”

“You’re not coming up?”

“Not yet. I thought we’d have a chat when I came back with your groceries, but now that I’ve seen the results of your online shopping, I think we’d better have it now. I want to talk to Kathryn as well, but I don’t want to wake her up. She’s been through a lot.”

“As I’m all too aware. Okay, give me a minute.” Grabbing all the boxes at once, he crept up the stairs and stuffed them into a closet, considering for a few moments the pros and cons of better concealment, then deciding that Kathryn wasn’t the type to go poking around in dark corners looking for secrets. Girding himself for the conversation to come, he took another look at her sleeping form in all its glorious nudity, then headed outside.

“How is she today?”

“Tired, obviously. Not just because of yesterday, either. The weekend took a lot out of her.”

“It sounded to me like the weekend put a lot in her.”

Luke chuckled, but it was somewhat forced. They were sitting at the end of the dock, dangling their shoeless feet in the cool water. Irina had borrowed one of Kathryn’s floppy wide-brimmed hats from the boathouse, but didn’t bother to cover the rest of her exposed skin, rationalizing out loud that she already had so many freckles, a few more wouldn’t matter very much.

“Either way, I’m not sure she got more than an hour or two of sleep while we were ... you know.”

“I don’t know. Most of the details, I mean. Just the broad strokes, pun intended. She wouldn’t tell me the other woman’s name, which means she was somebody famous and I’ll be trying to pry it out of her forever. And no,” she clarified, holding up her hand, “I don’t really want to know those details, either. But you’ve become quite the Casanova, haven’t you?” Her tone was right on the edge of sarcasm, and impossible for Luke to miss.

“I had nothing to do with it. The ... other man invited her to join us.” He reddened at the memory, grateful that Irina was staring across the lake and didn’t seem to notice.

“I do know who Alejandro is. You can say his name.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t sure how much you knew.”

“Famous. Great photographer. Ridiculously hot. Apparently hung like a horse. They had sex. I know about the pictures, but of course I’ve never seen them. So,” she inquired with a sideways glance, “does he measure up to his reputation?”

Luke nodded. “Some horses might be jealous.”

“That big?” He shrugged and estimated with his hands. “Damn. Wayyyy too big for me, and to be honest I’m a little surprised at her, because she’s not all that spacious. You’re plenty large, but... damn. And you let them have sex anyway?”

His flush deepened. “The woman who joined us said the same thing, and in pretty much the same tone. Yes, it was on my mind, especially at the beginning. But he’s not like that. I lucked out.”

“I guess you did. She’s not a size queen, you know. You could’ve just trusted her and not worried about him so much”

“So she told me, over and over. Believe me, if I didn’t trust her, nothing would’ve happened in the first place. It wasn’t really about trust, anyway. It’s just a...”

“ ... primal thing? Why are men so obsessed with their dicks? Comparing them, thinking with them...”

“Irina,” he protested with a small measure of heat, “you sound like you’re blaming me for something.”

“You pushed her into an orgy — yes, I know that wasn’t your original intent — and the next day she started reliving her history of sexual assault. You’re damned right I’m blaming you. Finding a pile of kinky presents on the doorstep didn’t exactly make me feel better about you, either.”

“First of all, I didn’t push her into anything. I gave her the opportunity to do something she wanted to do, but hadn’t and wouldn’t without...”

“ ... you pimping her out?”

Grinding his teeth, he held back the urge to snap at her in anger. Still, he couldn’t quite keep brittleness out of his voice. “You’ve got it all wrong, you know. Anyway, you’re one to talk.”

“Me? What does this have to do with me?”

“When you and I hooked up, was Kathryn my pimp or yours? If that’s your definition, then she’s obviously one or the other, right? Maybe both?”

The diminutive Russian’s eyes flared, her fists clenched, and she seemed like she was about to explode in righteous fury. And then, in an instant, it all melted away. “So this was because of you and me? That’s what put this terrible idea into your head?”

“In part, yes. There was another extracurricular rendezvous as well, though I don’t know if I have permission to tell you about it.” Irina regarded him with curiosity for a moment, then turned away with a smirk. He wondered if she’d guessed the truth; he had, after all, mentioned Wendy while they were building up to their sexual encounter, and Irina’s reaction at the time suggested that Kathryn’s plans were, at least to her, entirely transparent. “Anyway, I felt like she was directing all our adventures, and I wanted to give her something in return.”

“So you gave her an enormous dick? Attached to a ridiculously attractive photographer? With whom she’d already had rapturous sex? As gift ideas go, that’s a stupidly dangerous one. Or maybe just dangerously stupid.”

“I know, I know. But it was more than that. I’d already ... well, I’d already been with two other women, one time with her enthusiastic assent, and the other with that plus her enthusiastic participation. And so I...”

“ ... wanted her to have the opportunity to be with another man. Which turned into two men, something I know she’s always wanted but, astonishingly, never managed to arrange. Which then became a foursome. I get it, but only in theory. It’s almost as dumb as letting her have the horse cock, you know. So many things could’ve gone wrong. In fact, they did and might again. Not just because of her, either.”

“Because most men are too jealous and possessive to handle this sort of thing? Yeah, I knew that going in. Believe me, I felt both for a while.”

“If you already understood it, then what were you thinking?”

“Ironically, jealousy was kinda at the heart of it. When I first suggested it, I didn’t know I’d be participating; that was at his insistence, and after thinking about it for a while, Kathryn felt the same way. I thought that if I could handle seeing her and Alejandro I’d be able to deal with...”

“ ... her and Bill.”

“You know, it’s not necessary to finish every other sentence for me.”

“I’m impatient and you’re telling the story too slowly. Anyway, I finally get it. Those are all ... interesting reasons, I’ll give you that. So did it work?”

“I don’t know. Ask me the next time he’s home.”

“I’ll do nothing of the sort. I really don’t want to be involved in your little ... whatever the hell you’re doing ... any more than I already am.”

His annoyance expanded beyond his ability to contain it, and he snapped, “Are you sure you’re not jealous?” He immediately regretted saying it, fearing a resurgence of her temper, but to his surprise she just shrugged.

“Probably. Some of that, some lingering anger at you over the reappearance of her nightmares — because whether or not it was your intention or your fault, what you did was why they came back — and some exasperation over your affair, or whatever you’ve decided to call it, turning into the madhouse that it’s become.”

There it is. “Irina, trust me, I haven’t been able to stop blaming myself since she woke up crying. She keeps insisting it’s not my fault, that her past is always there no matter what, but it’s been eating away at me anyway. Those boxes you saw? I ordered all those thing while I was still only beginning to process everything she told me. The way I feel right now, and despite her insistence to the contrary, I’m not certain they’ll ever leave the closet.”

Irina sighed, studying his face for a minute, then softened even more. “Okay. I believe you. I was beginning to suspect you were some sort of monster, but you’re genuinely afraid of hurting her. In ways she doesn’t want to be hurt, I mean.”

“I really am. I thought I was ready to take the next step. I mean, I’ve already learned how inexperienced I am, but we had some ... well, I won’t go into specifics, but it was part of our weekend and our partners were extremely experienced.”

“That much I already knew. She said it was the most transformative experience with submission that she’s had, and that you were a major part of it. To the extent that it happened the way she’d always imagined and hoped, I’m happy for her. And no, I’m not upset that nothing she and I did quite measured up. I doubt I knew all that much more than you when we started, but I tried my best.”

“I’m sure you did. So did I, though it took a lot of encouragement and instruction from the others. Anyway, I asked a friend of a friend for advice — a professional dominatrix, actually — and she gave me some homework and a shopping list. At the time, I was still focused on doing what Kathryn said she wanted, but as the day went on I started dwelling on, and eventually obsessing over, what might happen if we actually went forward with any of it. By the time she got back from talking to her therapist, I was a mess, and unfortunately...”

“ ... you made it all about your feelings, and then you two had a big fight?”

Luke grimaced. “That’s getting really annoying, you know. Especially because you’re right. Anyway, go ahead and yell at me. I deserve it.”

She didn’t. Instead, she put her arm around his shoulders; a gesture of sympathy rather than rebuke. “I’m not going to yell at you, because I did pretty much the same thing when she told me. It wasn’t our first fight — I’m way too hotheaded to avoid regular arguments — but it was definitely the first time I thought I’d screwed up so badly that we might be done as a couple.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Did she apologize to you before you had a chance to beg for forgiveness?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Because she did the same for me. Did it make you feel even worse about yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Also the same. Would it make you feel better if I yelled at you anyway?”

“Probably not.”

“Then let’s just pretend I did and call it a day. Anyway, despite her forgiveness, I beat myself up about it for a long time. To be honest, I still feel a little guilty when I think about it. But I also made a decision. The same one you’re going to make.”

“Which is?”

“Her needs are more important than our feelings.”

“I agree.” They fell silent for a while, staring at the sunlight twinkling across the lake’s surface. “But I still don’t know how I’m going to deal with ... I mean, how can I do the sorts of things she wants if I’m worried about yesterday repeating itself? I’ll be holding back, and that’s not only something I’ve never done with her in any other sexual context, it’s not what she needs from me.”

“It’s not, and so you can’t.”

“What did you... ?”

“I’m not going to tell you about our sex life, Luke. Nor what else we got up to, either. I don’t mind if she does, but you won’t hear it from me, and it’s for the same reason I wouldn’t have wanted to see those photos of her and Alejandro, even if she’d had them while we were together: I like to keep relationships, sexual or otherwise, in their own boxes. Boxes with lids that stay closed. So the only advice I’m going to give you is this: one way or another you have to figure it out, because it’s part of the two of you now.”

“Do I? Can’t we just keep having normal sex? Not that sex with her is ever normal, but...”

“No.”

“That simple, eh?”

“It is. But let me clarify: you two in particular can’t just keep having normal sex.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“Luke, if what she was after was a steady diet of the safe and the familiar, I seriously doubt you two would be having any kind of sex, no matter how toe-curling it is.”

Surprised at her directness, though he knew he shouldn’t be, he quietly volleyed back, “I never expected to hear you criticize Bill.”

With a casual shrug, she dismissed his prodding. “It’s not really a criticism. It’s who he is. And despite her growing frustration over his absences, she seemed fine with it. Until, one day, you showed up, and suddenly she wasn’t. She obviously saw something in you. Something she was missing. That discovery happened to coincide with him being away a lot and you being quite literally dropped in her lap. And now, for the first time in her life, and despite a near-infinite number of past opportunities, she’s cheating on her partner. With three ... well, I guess it’s four now ... other people in the space of a few weeks, and who knows how many more on the horizon? I know she’s always been interested in sexual exploration and multiple partners, but this...” She fell silent, arresting what was becoming a rant. Luke waited a few moments before responding, hoping to turn down the temperature.

“I gather you don’t approve.”

“My approval is irrelevant. You’re all adults. Other than the fact that you’re banging someone’s wife, you seem like a great guy. Bill’s a lovely man and generally a good husband, but he’s far from perfect. Nor is she, though she usually manages to convince everyone otherwise, and until you peel back the layers it’s easy to be fooled by her beauty and the fact that she’s brilliant at everything. Anyway, I care far more about her happiness than his, theirs, or yours. Yes, I do admit that it’s somewhat grating to have to cover for the two of you — not that I interact with him very much — but I’ve kept a lot of Kathryn’s secrets over the years. What’s one more?”

“Secrets?”

“Nice try. You do, I hope, remember me warning you that there was a darkness to Kathryn that you hadn’t seen? Well, now you’ve seen the greater part of it and you know its source. What I’m telling you is just another version of what I’m sure she’s already telling you: that darkness has always been there, even though you only learned about it yesterday. You won’t be able to avoid it unless you leave her behind. If you’re not going to do that — if you’re going be with her, whether that’s as a friend or a lover — then you have to acknowledge it, embrace it, and love her all the more intensely because of it. Which includes taking your new toys out of the closet, because now that’s something she expects from you.”

“Even so, it’s not very easy to find opportunities.”

“I can guess what you mean, but you need to be more creative. It’s about a lot more than leaving marks. I’ll break my rule a little bit and tell you that, while she’s unquestionably into that sort of thing, her true interests lie elsewhere. That said, that was our experience, and there’s every chance yours will be different.”

“Thank you for trusting me with that much, at least. Since you were concerned enough to try to warn me about her darkness, do you have any more dire warnings that I should heed?”

Irina removed her arm from his shoulders and folded her hands between her legs, staring down at the water. The surface was still enough to reveal schools of tiny fish as they darted around the lakebed, searching for food. She was silent for a long while before answering. “When she’s not lawyering, Kathryn’s about as far from demanding or domineering as anyone can be, but she’s used to getting her way. Not necessarily because she asks for it, but because the people around her fall all over themselves to make sure she does. I’m sure her looks have absolutely nothing to do with that,” she snarked. “Anyway, it’s not often that people say no to her. Was yesterday — your argument, I mean — the first time you tried?”

Luke mentally scrolled through their history. “I think so.”

“Right. Well, remember how she reacted and be very, very cautious if you intend to do it again.”

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Thank you.”

After another pause, Irina added, “I have to tell you that there’s one more thing that bothers me about you two.”

“Which is?”

“I’ve never known Kathryn to lie. Not about important things. White lies, bending the truth to spare someone’s feelings, sure. And maybe that’s how she justifies it. But this is a pretty big goddamned lie, and that’s unlike her.”

“Are you suggesting that’s my fault too?”

“Well, you’re hardly uninvolved. But no, that’s just it. I don’t think you’ve singlehandedly turned her into the sort of person who lies. Still, one of the biggest reasons we’re still friends — how we stayed in each other’s lives even after she broke my heart — is how open and honest about everything she was. And now, suddenly, she’s not. She’s living two almost entirely compartmentalized and parallel lives, except that they have just enough overlap to be dangerous to everyone involved. You being ‘friends’ with Bill makes it even worse. I know it’s causing her stress, because I can see it, but it doesn’t seem like enough stress given the magnitude of what she’s covering up. I know I couldn’t do it. In her situation, I’d be in a constant state of blind panic and crushing guilt.”

“Well, if she’s not feeling it, I’m experiencing more than enough for both of us.”

“That’s good, because you absolutely should. You’re both acting pretty poorly here.”

“So you do disapprove.”

“Again, my approval is irrelevant. Like I said, I care about her, and she’s obviously happy when she’s with you. Happier than she’s been for a while. I don’t think that’s just because you’re shiny and new, though I do think it’s partly because you’re always here and available to bang the hell out of her when he’s not. There’s nothing in the universe that makes her happier than sex. Especially great sex, and a lot of it. But all that happiness is going to come to a screeching halt one of these days, no matter where the three of you end up. Someone’s going to be in a lot of pain. Probably all of you.”

Luke sighed. “And now you’ve hit on the apparently insoluble dilemma that fills my head every moment of every day. Not to mention a fair portion of my nights. We’ve — I’ve — been putting it off and putting it off, but yesterday was supposed to be the day we started taking about where we go from here. That’s obviously not going to happen now, and if we wait another day Bill’s going to be back too soon thereafter for the conversation to go anywhere. Another week wasted with us no closer to a solution.”

“Do you think there is a solution?”

“I see two possibilities. Well, three. Maybe four.”

“Solid start. Fills me with confidence that you know what you’re doing.”

“See? I’ll skip to the fourth, since it’s the worst-case scenario, and for obvious reasons I always leave it off the list: we get caught. Hellfire rains down on everyone. I get canned and take a massive hit to my reputation. It does even more damage to their relationship than we’re already doing. Maybe they split and maybe they don’t, but no one ends up happy.”

“You know, you may or may not be right about that. Does Kathryn seem less happy with Bill than she did when you two started your affair?”

That brought him up short, and he pondered for a while. “It’s hard for me to see their relationship objectively, so I’m not sure I have a good answer. Based on a few things she’s said I think she’s less angry at him, which seems to be a decision she reached in the last few weeks, but that’s all I know. Anyway, what do you mean?”

“I mean that having you as a devoted and reliably available side piece might have done wonders for her marriage.”

“You can’t possibly mean that.”

“Actually, I do mean it, but only as one hypothesis among many. It doesn’t mean that I’m right, or that they wouldn’t be better off without you, or that it’s a permanent state of affairs ... and yes, I used that word deliberately. Obviously, though, you can’t carry on like this forever.”

“True. That’s the third option, which depresses me every time I think about it, and which I’ve already rejected: we keep sneaking around after I’m done here.”

“You’re right. That’s a terrible idea, and if you try that you will get caught.”

“Or the stress of carrying on that way will break us up anyway. I certainly don’t see any way for it to work to my advantage. Anyway, I’ve dismissed it. Which leaves the two obvious choices: ending it and going away for good, or a dedicated attempt to win her.”

“Are you considering a duel of some sort? A sword fight? Pistols at dawn?”

“Those would certainly be preferable to what I’d actually have to do.”

“You’re right. Could be a quick death. Maybe even painless, depending on the weapon. So is this a fantasy, or something you’re seriously considering?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be so anxiety-ridden.”

“You love her that much?” It was less of a question than a request for affirmation.

“I do.”

“Does she love you that much?”

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t you think that’s something you should know?”

“That’s why we need to start talking about it. I believe she loves me a great deal, and probably as much as I love her, but there’s a ‘willing to end her marriage for me’ threshold that’s gotta be set pretty high, and I have no idea how she feels in relation to that. I don’t know if she does, either.”

Irina fell silent for a while. Then: “You wouldn’t exactly be getting off scot-free, you know. Bill’s very well-liked and extremely influential. Kathryn’s admired and quite well-known, though I suspect the first part won’t be true for very long if she abruptly divorces Bill and runs off with a younger man. I don’t know much about your world, but I presume you’re not exactly anonymous either.”

“I’m not. If anything, I’m more exposed within my own industry than either of them. I know exactly what we’d be in for. Certainly I’d never get hired for a job like this again, and since this is my primary source of income, that’d be very, very bad. We’d probably have to move a really long way away, though in my field it’s possible the story will follow us no matter where we go.”

“That doesn’t sound very appealing.”

“No. She’s worth it, but it would be hard. Anyway, that’s only my view; I don’t know hers.”

“If you feel that strongly about her, what’s stopping you from making your case?”

“I feel like I’m already making it. I just haven’t said the words, because I don’t know if I should say them. As for the arguments against it, though ... where do you want me to start? For one thing, we’re one-hundred percent in the wrong here. You said it yourself.”

“I wouldn’t be quite so hard on either of you. She’s cheating on Bill for a reason. I said he’s a good husband, but he’s certainly not a perfect one, and what he’s doing at the moment would take a heavy toll on any relationship. Especially hers, given how much of her happiness is sustained by physical intimacy. If she was ever inclined to stray, now would be the time. Maybe you just happened to be around at the right moment.”