Chapter 28

Patience. How I had hated that word. I had also learned to hate those students who studied to become a Magician. Not all of them were bad, it was only the huge majority that ruined the reputation for all of them. All the time I had studied and worked here on the Dark Floor of the Library, I had been patient. Now I knew almost all the books that were there; and, more importantly, I had learned to know the location of all the important books. Well, of those important to me, at least - most of which I had already smuggled out of the Library. I still liked books, but a part of me also hated the smell of dusty books, books that needed to be ‘aired’ or cleaned. On the other hand, that work had allowed me to gather some knowledge I could not have gotten any other way.

I shook my head mentally, so that I’d be able to concentrate better.

The most important thing had been that I now had a plan and I also knew when to put my plan in action! Not only had I a plan, but also all the small pieces of the plan had finally come together. The final piece of this puzzle had been figuring out that I needed to die. Or the university student Stian Holth needed to die, and in such spectacular way that there would be no question about his death. Even if I didn’t like that idea too much.

Only now it seemed that I would not need to fake my death since I was sure that, as soon as Rurik and this Magician got the information they needed, they would not leave me alive. Most likely they believed that I was like Rudolf, that I was working here to spy for the Royals. The Royals who most likely had no idea who I was or that I was working here. Maybe Rudolf had had some plans for me, or else he had just felt sorry for me because of my supposed heritage. I had tried to learn patience and now it seemed that I had been too patient when I had postponed my plan to tomorrow evening. One frigging damned day too slow!

While slowly explaining my work to that imperious Magician I opened my sensing and took a count of the people on this floor this afternoon. Before sensing any further I quickly felt for the two Magicians close to me - yes, I now had to think of Rurik as one of them. The empty presence inside both of their inner shimmers just confirmed that. The only difference being that the emptiness of this full Magician almost seemed to pulse. As though there was something waiting to be released. That, combined with his way of speaking and almost black eyes, almost declared that he was loaded with Magic. A stupid thing to do here, inside the Library. As though people like him would care.

Besides these two Magicians, there seemed to be only two other people here. Most likely one of those other two was Halvard, since nobody else would dare go inside his room. Even if the door wasn’t locked, I was certain that he had his ways of knowing if somebody were there. He might be old, but, for sure, he wasn’t stupid. Besides Halvard, there was somebody sitting by one of the desks - which was a bit surprising since usually there wasn’t a single Magic student here for at least a week after the new year. I knew that I had sensed that person before, but I hadn’t really paid any special attention to those students. Hadn’t felt like it.

I was busy thinking while walking these two people past the high bookshelves around the Dark Floor. It was clear that Rurik had told his fellow Magician about my fighting skills since the man kept his distance from me and I was quite certain that his other hand was holding some kind of weapon, just as Rurik was. I knew that I had been able to stop that one female Magician who had had no idea that I could defend myself against her. Neither had she loaded herself full of Magic like this young guy who felt like some dry dust waiting for a spark. Since I had absolutely no idea how quickly a Magician could release the magic he was carrying, I wanted to play safe. Besides that, I needed to figure a way out of this mess since. Once I had gotten this far, I would not give up.

Before the men behind me knew what I was doing, I had knocked on and partly opened the door to Halvard’s room.

“Sir, just for you to know - I’m going to stop working here. This Rurik, who’s behind me is going to replace me. I think you might like to meet him.”

With two quick steps I was inside the open door, forcing the Magician and Rurik behind me to enter the room. This was better. With everybody inside this room there wasn’t that much of a chance of an uncontrolled fire. Shit, I had all this planned and organized and I couldn’t let some crazy Magician hothead do anything stupid. I took a deep breath and called for the fighter inside me to be ready and turned to face what was happening with my back almost against the wall.

Again, it was as though my senses were already heightened, even if time wasn’t slowing down yet. I noticed that Halvard looked even more weary than usual, and if the look on his face wasn’t disgust it was at least close to it. When I turned my gaze to the young full Magician, I now saw clearly that his pupils were abnormally large and he had problems keeping his hands still. What hadn’t changed was the look on his face, which was still as full of arrogance and superiority as I had imagined. I wondered if the drugs the Magicians used also gave them some illusion of their superiority, like they were superior humans among us lesser mortals.

Rurik now looked just a bit uneasy, looking quickly at Halvard and then at his new, younger master. It was like this was something that hadn’t been planned and he would have really liked not to be here. Too bad, friend. You made your decision some time ago and I hadn’t had a civilized discussion with you after I had started working here. Still, I couldn’t help feeling a bit sad. What if I hadn’t interfered back then when those jerks troubled him? What if he hadn’t been able to try to become a Magician? I shook those thoughts away and concentrated on the scene in front of me.

Halvard opened the discussion. “So you are here, now. I would have preferred that you would have kept your little game out of this Library.”

The look on the face of young Magician turned even more arrogant, if possible. “All these years and what have you managed to gain? All talk and no work, nothing to show, nothing at all! It’s time for us to take over and show what can be done and this is as good place to start as any.”

So that was the reason for the long silence. It seemed that, at least among the Magicians, there had been some sort of coup and I wondered if it was also happening inside the Guardians. Internally, I smiled. Anything that made them weaker and slowed them down was good news for me - or for us and our long-term plans.

“So, you think that by killing some known and reluctant spies and some other people, you think that you will gain so much power that you can achieve your goals faster. Those things never worked in the past, so why would they work now?”

“Because in the past they didn’t do it right! We can do it right! Starting right here and now!”

It was like his eyes were burning when the man shouted that. It was like the water inside the kettle had started to boil and there was no lid so heavy that it could prevent the contents from coming out. Once again, it was like I had all the time in the world to prepare for his move. It was just like the thing the female Magician had tried to do against me inside the warehouse. Except that the power this guy was trying to use felt enormous when compared to that previous time.

The difference was that now, a part of me knew what I was doing and my magic push was a bit different. Again, my push changed his chant so that most of the energy he released was directed back at him, only this time it wasn’t released immediately, but slowly. So that he could feel his own mind burning. I felt that I owed that much to Rudolf. A smaller amount of that power was pointed against Rurik who was looking at me, and I noticed the surprised look on his face when his heart instantly stopped. I did my best to ignore that. There was no time to feel sorry now.

The other Magician didn’t have it that easy. Once he had started releasing the magic that he had stored inside him there was no way of stopping it from pouring out. Of course, I had no way of knowing how he was feeling since no voice except some low whine was coming out of his mouth. However, I couldn’t help seeing what happened to his internal presence, his inner core - his ‘shimmer’ - as I watched. It was like the magic he released tore it in small pieces and his eyes, that had just been burning, first looked terrified before turning empty just as he collapsed to the floor next to Rurik. All this couldn’t have taken any longer than a few blinks of an eye even if it had felt almost like an eternity to me.

An eternity with images that I would remember. Rurik’s surprised, almost innocent look when his shimmer was just shut down. The terror on the face of the other Magician when his internal shimmer was torn into small pieces.

I turned towards Halvard.

““Please stay still - and I wouldn’t try anything if were you. After all, I assume that you’re the real reason Kaylessa was caught and tortured and why Nestariel’s ship was sunk.””

The old man did blink his eyes a few times, but it didn’t take him long to figure out the situation - or at least think that he had figured out the situation. He didn’t look too shocked by the two dead Magicians. I reminded myself that he had a lot of experience and couldn’t easily be distracted. Most likely, he had seen his share of deaths during his years.

““It has been a long, long time since I last really used this Old Language, so excuse me if I sound a bit odd.””

Well, at least he was honest about that.

““We can use Anglon, if you want to.””

““No, please continue talking as you do. Speaking like this just wakes ... some memories.””

““Just to let you know, there’s no one coming this way. By the way, mind telling me your old name?””

Halvard looked at me like this was the first time he saw me. Well, in a way it was.

““I guess I had become too confident of my skills, way too confident. Of all people, I should have known that sooner or later it will happen to all of us, keep that in mind, young Stian - if that’s your real name.””

““Thanks for the hint - and yes, Stian really is my name. But you still didn’t tell me yours.””

Now I was pushing, even if I didn’t use my full force. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed at all, but he had used some of it with his own question. A part of me reminded myself that I should have killed him when I had the chance. The problem was that I was curious - and curiosity could turn out to be dangerous.

““A very, very long time ago I was called Myrddin, that’s not really a secret. With a new life I also decided to take a new name ... now what? Are you going to kill me? If you know Kaylessa and Nestariel, then you may think that you have a good reason to do that. By the way, may I ask how they are?””

At least he wasn’t pushing anymore and again, he sounded honest. One more reason not to trust him.

““They’re both dead.””

““I’m really sorry to hear that. Killing all those people wasn’t my idea, even if I cannot deny my responsibility. What now, are you here searching for revenge by killing me? Couldn’t really blame you for that - I can only ask that if you could save my great-granddaughter, Kara, who decided to join her old grandparent here and who’s studying Magic out there even though I asked her not to.””

Again, all I could sense was total honesty - and sadness. Terrible amount of sadness - and the name Kara rang some bells in my head and I might have been able to connect a face to that name. She had been one of those magic students causing me some headaches.

““It wasn’t my idea to start these killings here and if things had gone my way most likely nobody would have died here.””

I didn’t really owe this man anything, but yet it felt important to point out the difference between me and them. I was so eager to justify what I had done that it started to worry me.

““Unlike those people inside that warehouse? I had been wondering about that, two of those Ugly People and one good Magician. They were sure that some of us were rebelling. This old man is just being curious.””

““They deserved that for what they had planned to do.””

Even if I tried, I could not fully keep the disgust out of my voice and I had to remind myself that the man behind the desk was dangerous, really dangerous, and most likely he would try to distract me just as I had distracted those two Magicians. I forced myself to calm down and kept in touch with the warrior inside me, just in case.

““About being curious, please tell me, Myrddin. How does it feel to live longer than your loved ones? To see them die?””

That was a hit. For a brief moment the man behind the desk didn’t look like the old, maybe a bit scary, grandfather figure he usually was. No, for a moment all the hatred and anger that had been buried there showed through, and I was able to see the man who had been able to betray his friends and fellow Mages for a better position, and for power. For the power he hadn’t fully gotten.

““What makes you think that you are any better than us? What makes you think that your goals are any worthier than ours when you walk around killing people like that?””

A part of me had wondered why he hadn’t even tried to gather any magical power during our discussion and probably the same part of me had noticed that the old man had been slowly, very slowly shifting himself while had had been sitting there behind his desk. Also his right hand had been gradually moving backwards just as he had been leaning back, slowly making more space between him and his desk.

Ever since I had seen Ylva throw knives, I had been a bit envious of her ability and those few times we had briefly met during the years I had asked her some hints in throwing knives. Since most arms were totally forbidden inside Aston, it was easy to understand the value of such ability. When I had been sort of promoted here in my job so that the maintenance of the books became a part of my profession, it came possible for me to carry a knife here. Of course the knife that I had for fixing books was nothing when compared to the specialized throwing knives Ylva had carried, but with enough practice you could also throw this knife. In the last year I had practiced a lot. Terribly lot.

It had also become a second nature to me to evaluate situations so that I was always aware where my knife was, I knew the distance to my enemy and, most importantly, I knew how to get the correct amount of spin to my throw so that the knife would hit the target correctly. From my unarmed training, I knew the correct places to hit - and the combination of these two things could be deadly. Especially if you were able to throw the knife from almost any position, quickly.

I would like to say that Halvard/Myrddin made the decision to attack but saying that might as well be an attempt to justify my own action. As if it would really matter to anybody, regardless of who started it, I knew that I would relive the situation several times in my dreams. His hand kept on moving backwards, he kept on shifting his legs while keeping an eye on me - and my knife was flying in the air rotating in large circles hitting the man in his exposed throat.

An important part of training to fight is that, even if you manage to get a perfect hit you must not stay there standing and admiring your perfect hit - since that’s most likely the last thing you will do. I guess that it had been my inability or stupidity that had saved me when I had been fighting that creature years ago. In most fights, that kind of behavior is a certain way to get yourself killed. What if there’s another enemy with a crossbow? Or what if your perfect hit is followed by even more perfect block? So, the knife was still flying when I already was rolling towards the floor and closer to Halvard. That was another important thing - if he had some sort of weapon I would have better chances against him if I could reach him.

There would have been no need since my aiming had been perfect. The knife had torn his carotid artery and when I was standing next to him I could just see him blink his eyes a few times.

““I promise that I will try to save your Kara, whether she deserves that or not.””

Even though he blinked his eyes one more time I had no idea if he had heard me or not. I tried to tell myself that I really didn’t care.

After sensing the environment and finding nothing threatening, I forced myself to calm down and take a look at the situation. It was clear that there was no going back now. In a way nothing had changed, in fact Rurik and his new patron - ex-patron - might just have made things a bit easier for me. The only problem was that I had to start a bit earlier than I had planned. On the other hand, I was quite sure that nobody would come to question me when I would be collecting the last items. Nobody had seen me enter Halvard’s room with those two Magicians.

Before leaving the room, I moved next to Halvard and took a look under the table and then I felt some knots in my stomach. I knew that there were some hand-held weapons that used gunpowder, but I had never seen one before. Here was one, bolted into the bottom of his heavy table in a way that could be turned with your legs and then triggered with your hand. But those things weren’t the reason why I had felt so cold. The reason was those signs of burn under the table top hinted that the gun had been used at least a few times.

I wondered if Halvard had spare table fronts stored somewhere since they look exactly the same and quite as old as the rest of the table. Maybe I should reconsider the promise I made to him if his granddaughter was something like him.

I had no idea if the Magician who had come with Rurik had made some threats, or if it was only some general wariness, called common sense, that kept all the other people out of the Dark Floor for the next few hours. Even Halvard’s granddaughter seemed to be busy studying, which made me happy - I didn’t want to think what I would have been forced to do had she decided to visit Halvard’s room. Still, I had tried to position the bodies so that it might look like only those three people had taken part in that fight. That setup might work - at least for a few blinks of an eye.

Finally, there was a pile of books and maps next to my little office and I started making a water-tight package out of them, since I couldn’t go down and put them into a barrel for two reasons. First, when there would be time for me to leave this floor, there probably would be quite a lot of water and if things worked as I had planned, once I left this floor there wouldn’t be any coming back. Secondly, I was also out of barrels. So, some decisions are easy. I tried my backpack and wanted to wince since it was heavier than I had thought, or perhaps I had just been a bit greedy. Whatever, I could make this one trip down the tunnels even if my backpack was heavy. I looked around and pushed that now empty cabinet aside so that the grate was now fully visible and then made one final check, just to make sure that I was still able to lift it. Satisfied with the result, I put it back in place and took a deep breath. Time to start the show.

It may seem stupid, but the final part of my plan had been Elise’s and Alva’s pregnancies. Even if I might never see my children, it forced me to think. Yes, we needed to get some more knowledge and the only way to get some of it was to steal those books from the Dark Floor without getting caught. Yes, we needed to slow down those Guardians and Magicians with their plans of creating an army of Trolls and killing all the Elves before doing it - and so on. But there was also one very strong imperative: ‘No!’ Nothing could be left behind that would point out to Elise or to my other family here. No, because I cared about those people and especially, no because two of them were carrying my babies. Children I might never see.

My initial plan had been just to start a fire down here, blame the smoking Magician students and then cause a flood by opening the valves which would then break the shitty T-connectors when the pressure could not be released through the uncleaned nozzles. With Rudolf out of the picture, they would have hard time shutting down the water. Only it wasn’t that easy. I had no idea how quickly that fire would spread or if it would spread at all. I had had no idea how much water would come out of those two pipes and how quickly it would start filling this floor. I knew that there probably were people here at University that would have been able to give me an estimate quite quickly - but I just couldn’t go to them and ask about it. So, I had to try figure it out by myself. Meaning I had to calculate it by myself.