Chapter 22: Maria’s Manes

Sunday, August 20th, 2006, Mount Union, Pennsylvania

I took a look around the shabby but clean motel room as I chewed my last bite of a delicious T-bone steak. Zero had arranged for eighteen rooms; most had double beds, but we were able to secure queens for the couples and triples. The clerk had been ecstatic when we’d shown up and paid cash. Apparently, our cover was something the CIA used frequently, and so the middle-aged gentlemen thought that we were spending the night after a milking apparatus convention.

I almost couldn’t stop laughing after asking Zero how long the CIA had been milking that excuse. My family looked at me as if I’d lost my marbles, which only made it worse. I guess it was just my brain’s way of relieving some of the stress I’d been under. I didn’t have someone like me to adjust myself. I sometimes wondered if I would end up in a looney-bin by the end of all this.

I was sitting on the bed with my back leaning against a pile of pillows; it helped somewhat with the extreme pain I was in. My shoulders and the bullet wound were the worst. If I did more than bend my elbows or moved my side, pain shot through me like a lance. Chayana had insisted on sewing me up as soon as she raided the medical supply office. She’d found one that was kept up on the farm level of the CIA building. I wish she’d found some real painkillers in there too, but extra strength Tylenol was all they’d had.

All of my lovers except Angie were in here with me, and I felt a soft, warm fuzzy glow within my chest, knowing that they were safe. I’d done it. I’d rescued them from the CIA’s clutches. I had seriously doubted that I’d be successful at a couple points, fearing one or more of them would be injured or worse.

I looked at each of my girls in turn, seeing their smiling faces as they gabbed, ate, laughed, and teased.

Sigh. I wished that I could feel as happy, but my mood was swinging from elation to melancholy. So much death today. Of course, Don’s hit me the hardest, but I couldn’t get the vacant look of Drew’s stare out of my head, nor the fear in number Nine’s as he took his last breath. I think that was the worst for me; seeing lifeless eyes. It hammered home how fragile our existence was.

I gave my head a shake, trying to dislodge the depressing thoughts that kept threatening to overwhelm me. I just had to look around the room at all of my lover’s smiling faces again. It helped; it made me feel as high as a kite once more. I pushed the bad thoughts and negative emotions to the pit of my stomach and buried them. Malachar was right; there would be time for guilt and grief later. That was the luxury of surviving. You could wallow in misery at your convenience. Now was the time to celebrate, so I let the victorious part of what I was feeling wash over me, swamping me with renewed exhilaration, determined to feel only positive emotions for the rest of the night.

<If only it could just be like this all the time. Sitting here, surrounded by love, laughter, and good food. Look at them, their happiness is almost contagious, and they are precious to me. Look at them, Malachar, look at what fragile blessings I have.>

I understand, son, I wish that for you too, but reality is a cruel mistress. Enjoy the moments like these, m’boy. Because it is these very memories that you will come to treasure, and when times get dark, it’ll be moments like this that will give you strength. Like you just told me to do, look at them, m’boy. Observe them laughing and feeling carefree; see the delight in them. Relish how they look so young and fresh, snapshot this and keep it safe deep inside.

I watched my Mom and Sheila flirt and giggle like two schoolgirls. They were sitting next to each other by the window on the other side of the bed in two worn but functional wingback chairs. I saw Sheila reach out to wipe a bit of sauce from the corner of my Mom’s mouth, only to lick it from her finger with a coquettish giggle; it was both sexy and endearing.

Heather and Stacy were half sitting on each other in one of those same chairs. We’d barely managed to squish it between the desk and the bathroom; the room wasn’t that big, but after what we’d just left, it was downright cozy. I caught myself gazing adoringly at them for a minute. The sheer joy that I had brought the two of them by rescuing Stacy from her shitty life was among the biggest bright spots of the last month.

“Oh, God! I’m so stuffed!” I moaned happily as I wiped my face with a napkin.

“Ya, me too! Damn, this was some kick-ass steak, Hot Stuff!” Abby agreed as she licked juicy steak spice from her fingers. “Right down to the bone!”

Heather looked over, a smirk forming on her face and mischief sparkling in her sea-blue eyes. “That’s what I say about, JJ! He’s—”

“Great! Especially when you’re right down on his bone!” Stacy burst out, finishing Heather’s sentence as both my energizer bunnies broke out into a fit of hysteric giggles.

“Are you finished, Querido? Want me to take your plate?” Maria asked me sweetly.

Her face broke out into a gorgeous smile as I turned my head towards her. She looked so sexy as she leaned against the headboard beside me.

“Sure, Hermosa, thanks,” I said, giving her an answering and grateful smile in return. I didn’t want to get up.

I watched as she gracefully moved towards the garbage bin, collecting plates from anyone who was finished along the way.

“Nice ass, huh, Bro?” Abby whispered in my ear from the other side of me.

“Yup, you know it,” I replied with a grin while continuing to stare at Maria’s butt as it swayed its way back and forth across the room.

“You should ask her to stay with you tonight. Out of all of us, she’s the most brittle, and after what we just went through, she needs you the most. Give her some alone time, Jake,” Abby suggested considerately.

“Yeah, I was thinking that too,” I agreed, touched by my sister’s thoughtfulness.

“Are you going to add Aimee to your group of lovers, Bro?” Abby asked quietly, trying not to be overheard.

“I dunno,” I shrugged and immediately regretted the movement because of how sore I was. “Do you think that I should?”

“You know I don’t care who you sleep with, and I know that you’ll probably fuck her eventually—you won’t be able to resist. Besides, she’s your type and—”

“My type?” I interrupted.

“Yeah, your type—female and breathing,” Abby chuckled softly at her little joke. “Seriously, though, she’s exactly your type—Aimee’s slim, in tip-top shape, gorgeous, and sweet. I feel bad for her; the poor thing really wants to go home. She seems super attached to that boyfriend of hers. She showed me a picture. He’s a good-looking dude, and not only is he in Med school, but he’s a star athlete as well. He’s plays baseball for Penn State U—got a scholarship, apparently. So you should decide what you’re going to do with her and soon,” Abby advised.

“Okay, but why? And what do you think I should do? You didn’t say,” I grunted in reply as I used a wet nap to clean my hands.

“Well, if she can’t go home and you plan to fly us halfway across the world on Tuesday, then I think you should at least make her forget about her boyfriend. She’ll be miserable non-stop if you don’t. As far as adding her to your harem, well, in my opinion, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t,” she said candidly.

“Damned if he does, or doesn’t what?” Maria asked as she crawled back up the bed to sit on the other side of me again.

“I was just telling him that he should make Aimee forget about her boyfriend if she’s going to be coming with us overseas. Who knows when or even if we’ll get back here. If he doesn’t ‘adjust’ her,” Abby made air quotes, “then she’ll just be a Debbie Downer the whole time, which would be a total drag.”

“Oh, yeah, she so would! She seems sweet, but yeah, Abby’s right, you’ve got to fix her, mi Gato,” Maria agreed, shaking her head vigorously.

“Yeah, it sucks, but you guys are probably right, and I won’t have a choice. You think that I should leave her here instead then?”

“What? No! They’d kill her! You heard what Lurch said!” Abby exclaimed loudly, causing everyone else to stop talking and look over at us.

“Lurch! What about Lurch? It’s so funny because he looks like a Lurch!” Stacy giggled mirthfully.

Heather popped up and then walked across the room, stiffly, with arms outstretched, “Uhh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-uh! You rang?” she quipped, making her voice go unnaturally deep.

We all laughed at her antics. Everyone was in a fantastic mood; the stress of earlier had melted away. It hadn’t hurt that I’d adjusted everyone’s outlook. I didn’t want them burdened by Don’s death. Thinking of him instantly turned my mood somber, just as it had periodically since we’d left the ‘Farm’ as the CIA called it. I did my best to fight it off again.

“I love that movie!” Heather giggled as she flopped back down onto Stacy’s lap. “Especially Wednesday! She rocks!”

“Who was she played by again?” Stacy asked, intrigued.

“I dunno,” Heather shrugged. “Mom? Who was the actress that played Wednesday? You know, right?”

That started a lively discussion between the four of them, as they talked about Chistina Ricci and what movies they liked of hers best. I smiled and basked in their contentedness once again for a few minutes before turning my attention back to Abby and Maria, wanting their opinion on Aimee.

I leaned over to my right and kissed Abby on the top of her head, “I’m not going to send her home. I was just wondering what you thought. So why damned if I do or don’t? You didn’t say,” I asked quietly.

“I know you, Bro, and she IS your type. If you sleep with her, you’ll end up catchin’ the feels—”

“Hey, I don’t fall for every girl that I sleep with!” I interrupted indignantly.

“Like Hell you don’t! Face it, brother! I mean, it’s okay to fuck them, but you have a White Knight complex for anything that looks like playmate material and sits on your dick!” she exclaimed with a laugh.

“She’s got a point, mi Gato,” Maria whispered with a snort.

“Explain Chayana then!” I pointed out smugly.

“She’s the exception that proves the rule—besides, you gave her to Brock and the guys, so that’s where you left it. If you hadn’t of done that, you’d have fallen for her by now too,” Abby said matter-of-factly.

She’s got you there, boy, by the balls, I’d say. I keep telling you that you’re way too sentimental. You fall in love easier than a virgin on prom night! A girl has just got to bat her eyelashes at you, and then you’ll moon all over her. Look at both Angie and Violet; you’re a lovestruck fool.

God, the cackling in my head is like nails on a chalkboard!

<I don’t love Angie! I care for her—that’s all!>

I could hear Malachar’s snort of disbelief echo throughout my skull.

“So as I was saying, you’ll fuck Aimee a couple of times, fall head-over-heels for her, and then, of course, you’ll do what you do, and you’ll add her to the group for good. Problem is, if you do, you can permanently kiss your chances of winning over Violet goodbye,” she murmured lowly so that only Maria and I could hear.

Everyone else was still laughing and joking at Heather’s and now Stacy’s theatrics. This time regarding Christina Ricci’s role in Sleepy Hollow. They had somehow managed to twist the plot so that the Headless Horsemen was trying to get a blowjob from her while running around decapitated, and Stacy and Heather were acting it out.

“Oh, hmm, okay,” I paused, taking a moment to consider what she’d just told me. “Yeah, I guess I can see that. She’d use it as ammo against not wanting to be a part of my harem and all that. But—hey, wait a minute! She already says that about all of you! How would Aimee make it worse?” I asked, feeling more and more perplexed as I thought about it.

“She’s getting used to us. She met you when you were already with everyone that’s here. It’s not the same as seeing you add a new girl, trust me on that. Right now, Violet’s the new girl still, so even though she denies you, I think that you have a real chance. She likes you, and everyone knows that she’s attracted to you, but if she sees you getting with or even just chasing Aimee, it’ll convince her that she was right to turn you down, and it’ll cement that decision forever. Do you see what I mean?”

“I guess,” I replied as I furrowed my brow. “God, you women are so complicated! Well, if that’s the case, Violet wins hands down!”

“Yes, we are, but you love us anyway! And I thought that you’d say that! Violet is special; we all see that. Aimee is a sweetie, but she’s a dime a dozen sweetie.”

I raised my brows at her.

“Fine,” she laughed softly, “she’s a dime a hundred then.”

“But that was only the I’m damned if I do part. What’s the damned if I don’t side of things?” I asked curiously.

“Aimee will tempt you so bad that you’ll end up fucking her, trying to think that you can keep it a secret from everyone, but you can’t from Violet. She’ll know the minute you do it, and you know that I’m right. So the shitty part for you is that the fruit will be all the more desirable because it’ll be forbidden. Plus, Aimee will flirt with you like mad once you make her forget about her boyfriend, which you really have no choice to do, and I doubt you’ll stop her from coming on to you because your ego will love it too much. You’ll convince yourself that you can handle it—because after all, it’s just flirting, and it doesn’t mean anything, right? But one day, you’ll find yourself alone for whatever reason, and bam! You’ll trip headlong into her pussy. We all see how you look at her, and you just met her. It’s day fucking one, for Christ’s sake!” she laughed.

“Am I really that bad?”

“Yes,” Maria tittered in my ear as she nipped my lobe.

Abby just smirked as she nodded vigorously.

“It’s the damn ring’s fault,” I muttered.

“Uh-huh, sure it is,” Abby replied with an evil smile as she cupped my groin and lightly squeezed. “The only difference between the current Jake and the old non-magical Jake is the ability to get whatever woman he wants. Before, you couldn’t just pick up everyone that you wanted to fuck, no matter how hot you are, and now you can—it’s as simple as that.”

“I guess,” I reluctantly agreed; she did have a point. “Thanks for warning me,” I said sincerely, knowing that if she hadn’t, I would’ve definitely fucked my chances with Violet right up.

“Of course! I’ll always look out for you, especially after what you did for me today! God, that was soooo hot! All those hard cocks jerking as they watched,” she shuddered in pleasant memory, and I could tell that her nipples were getting hard. “You’re the best! I love you more than you’ll ever know, Bro! Just remember what I said when you’re about to make a choice.”

“Your words will be my armor and my thoughts of Violet, my shield,” I said, using my best British accent.

“You dope! Armor and shield! So you’re admitting that you have a Knight in shining armor complex, are you?” she giggled as she went to reflexively smack my shoulder but thankfully remembered my soreness at the last second and smacked the back of my bald head instead.

“She’s right, mi Gato. If you want Violet, you must not chase after Aimee,” Maria added as she gently kissed my cheek, her silky hair tickling my naked skin.

“Speaking of Violet, I wish she was in here too, Ang as well,” I mumbled with a sigh.

“Yeah, they definitely belong, but they’re doing a good thing. Aimee is like a lost puppy, and she needs the attention. Just like David needs the time with his son,” Maria said sweetly.

She’s changed so much, your Maria, she’s night and day now from how she was. No circle jerk rings for her anymore.

<What do you mean by that?> I asked, puzzled.

Nothing, just that she’s so emotionally stable now that she’s basically fixed. She loves you with religious devotion; it’s rare to see that.

<Yeah. I’m so glad that she’s recovered from the damage I did. Do you think it was my magic that helped counteract what I’d done with the ring? I don’t know why we ever broke up in the first place, but I’m so happy that she’s back with me now. Even happier that she seems to be healthy again.>

I’m positive that you are somehow responsible for curing Maria. I just have no clue how you did it.

<Well, I didn’t feel any lightning shooting through my chest over her, at least not that I can remember.>

“Maria’s right. Besides, Angie needs ... Hey! Are you listening to me? You’ve got that vacant look going on again!” Abby accused, her voice getting that familiar pissed-off tone.

“Yeah, I am, Snowflake, chill! Malachar just told me something unimportant, but I still heard you this time,” I replied, placing my hand on her thigh and squeezing while giving her a smile. “Go on. What about Angie?”

Unimportant!?! Nothing I ever say is unimportant!

The snort, accompanied by his statement, almost made me laugh.

Mollified, Abby slipped her hand in mine and continued, “I was saying that she needs some space to get over her shitty attitude,” my sister vented, her voice turning hard. “I love the girl, but she’s got to get her head screwed on straight.”

“Yeah, maybe, but go easy on her, for me, Snowflake,” I asked, giving her a studious look, wondering if I had to worry about Angie getting licks.

Now it was Abby’s turn to snort as she gave me a crooked smile, “What? You don’t want me roughing up your S&M partner?” she asked coyly.

“S&M? What!?” I barked, completely puzzled.

“Shit, Bro! I couldn’t bang her around half as much as you do, and that’s just the foreplay!” she giggled, and even Maria joined in.

“It’s true! It’s like the Friday night fights that my cousin used to make me watch when he babysat me! When you two hook up to screw, it’s a battle royal! Last time I prayed that the bedroom would still be in one piece afterwards! I like that room!” Maria tittered.

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“What do we mean? Are you for real? You and Angie fuck like you’re on opposite sides in world war two! Do you know how much broken glass Bernita and Eva had to pick up the other day? Do you not remember the dents in the wall from you two smashing each other into it repeatedly?”

I blushed a bit, remembering it as a blur, the details were fuzzy, but the overall experience was embedded in my brain as being both awesome and scary at the same time.

“Not just that, but we could hear the screams, bangs, and the yelling from all over the house! You two are fucking loco together!” Maria accused with a grin while twirling her finger at her temple.

“Mom said that when she opened the door to check if you were killing her or not, that the both of you just glared at her until she left,” Abby said matter of factly.

“Really? I vaguely remember her asking if we wanted supper or something—”

“She did, but that was just her excuse to make sure that Angie was alright because she DID sound like she was being murdered at times,” Maria informed me as she patted my hand.

“Oh, God! But what a way to go!” Abby sighed exaggeratedly. “She was walking around on cloud nine the whole next morning, right up until we all got kidnapped.”

“Yeah, and now she’s pissed off at me for kissing her in front of everyone,” I shrugged ruefully, hissing at the pain.

“And that’s the attitude that she needs to get fixed before we all slap some sense into her—”

“It’s because she’s falling in love with him,” Maria said knowingly.

“Yeah, maybe,” Abby shrugged. “Still, she needs to get her shit together.”

Now it was my turn to snort, “She does not love me, not even close! She barely tolerates my presence. Sure the sex is great, but that’s all it is—”

“You’re just as much in denial about your own feelings as she is, Sparky. You’ll figure it out eventually,” Abby said while grinning at me like I was stupid.

“Well, I do care for her—a lot,” I admitted.

“Uh-huh,” she agreed, rolling her eyes.

I wished that Ang wasn’t so pissed at me. She should be in here with us too. So should Violet, even if we weren’t sleeping together. Truth be told, I considered Violet to be mine already, no matter that she kept turning me down. At least the two of them were keeping Aimee company though, the poor thing was still distraught that she couldn’t go home. She’d burst into tears all over again when I told her that it’d be best if she didn’t call anyone until we were out of the States.

<Do you think that Abby’s right about Aimee? That if I fuck her, it will ruin my shot with Violet? She says that if I want her that I should forget about Aimee altogether, she’s probably right. Who am I kidding? Of course, she’s right.>

You shouldn’t listen to your sister, m’boy. Just go for Aimee, she’s smokin’ hot, and we both know how much you want to feel her lips on your cock again. Violet’s made her decision no matter what your sister thinks; she can’t read her thoughts like I can. It’d be best for the both of you if you did yourself a favor and chose the sexy nurse because Abby is right about one thing, it’ll cement Violet’s view of you and your harem, and that door needs to be firmly shut for once and for all. Besides, Aimee’s got a fabulous-looking ass. Imagine how good it would feel on your dick.

<What the fuck! It’s like in the cartoons, and I’ve got the Devil on one shoulder and the Angel on the other trying to influence what I do. I want Violet, and I’m going to get her. Watch and see!>

When it blows up in your face, just hope that it doesn’t cost lives. You never mess with a witch after she makes it crystal clear that she doesn’t want the attention.

<Whatever.>

I felt somewhat better, seeing that I was now oiled and naked; I think I’m starting to become a nudist. I looked over at the clock; it was just after eleven, and everything felt so surreal. I could hardly believe that we’d managed to arrive at the motel by nine and that by ten, I’d been stuffed and left alone with Maria and Violet. My sexy little Wolf had just left moments ago, and now I was lying lazily on the bed, feeling horny and tired at the same time. I’d just finished receiving a light massage and a hot towel treatment. It had stung like Hell at first, but as the heat had sunk in, it got better.

Violet had been kind enough to help take care of me again, and she’d even massaged my legs this time around, although she’d admonished me beforehand not to read anything into it. She made it very clear that she was only showing her appreciation because I had rescued everyone and felt bad over how banged up I’d gotten. My reply of ‘aww shucks, does that mean seeing you naked is out of the question then?’ And my follow-up of, ‘after all, I’m showing you all of MY goods again, and fair is fair,’ earned me a slap on my rear and an amused chuckle.

She simply pointed out that I’d asked for her services, and it was my choice if I wanted to parade my fine assed body around or not. She quickly added with a smirk and an arch of a brow that as scraped up as it was at the moment, that maybe I’d want to hide it under some sheets anyway, causing Maria to giggle. Before that, I’d had a nice shower with my sweet hot Tamale gently washing me, taking care that my two bandaged wounds stayed dry by taping plastic over them.

I let my eyes rove over Maria’s naked body as she finished rubbing a light coating of A535 on my arms; she was a wizard with her hands and had a delicate touch. I was still in pain, but the cream helped, and the muscles that weren’t bruised were nice and relaxed, thanks to my two wonderful girls.

“Thank you for asking me to stay alone with you tonight, Querido. I know that it wasn’t my turn, so it means a lot. How are you feeling?” Maria asked lovingly as she scooted to lay next to me.

I gazed upon her beautiful face as she rolled onto her side, facing me. In the low light provided by the outside street lamp combined with the glow of the muted TV, I could see enough details to lose myself within her eyes. After a few moments, I pulled them away to admire her lips, perfectly shaped nose, and manicured brow. I visibly traced the curve of her shoulder down to her sleek arm, where it bent at her elbow and crossed beneath her firm grapefruit-sized breast. Her nude form was a treasure, and I couldn’t keep my gaze from wandering all over it.

I was enticed by the gentle rise of her hip and how it slid smoothly downward after becoming her tanned thigh, which in turn became a feminine yet muscular calf. I even admired her dainty feet. Her evenly spaced toes looked cute capped with the bright red polish she favored. Her leg was crossed over so that her knee rested upon the bed, just barely hiding her sex from my view; this was even more exciting, having it so tantalizing close to my sight.

“No need to thank me, Hermosa,” I replied as I tore my gaze from her nakedness to look once more into her soft loving eyes. “You’re exactly what I needed tonight, and if anyone is thanking somebody, it’ll be me thanking you for the massage you gave me while Violet did her hot towel thing. I needed that so badly. You don’t know how much I’m hurting right now, Babe.”

“I can imagine, mi Gato, you’re so banged up. And you were shot!” she murmured as her eyes watered from just saying it. “I thought we were going to lose you. There were so many enemies with guns! I prayed and prayed! And thank God, he answered me!”

“Thanks, Maria,” I spoke gently as I brushed away an errant tear from her cheek.

“Dios, por favor mantenlo a salvo! ¡Amo a este hombre con todo mi corazón y no podría soportarlo si se lo quitas! Por favor escucha mi oración! ¡Amén! There, I did so again! May he listen and grant my request,” she whispered as her hand grasped mine where it brushed her face.

“Well, I’ll certainly take all of the help that I can get. I know I’ll need it,” I chuckled softly.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t ask Heather or Sheila to stay, they didn’t get to help you today, and I know how much you love them,” Maria quietly observed.

“What? And you think that I love you any less?” I asked as I brushed her lip with my thumb.

“For real? Of course, I do,” she laughed. “I hardly measure up to the rest of them, Angie perhaps, but not the others. Don’t worry, I’m not saddened by it. I know that you love me, and that’s all that I need,” she assured me as she kissed my thumb.

“That’s not true, you know, not anymore,” I told her truthfully. I didn’t know when it changed, I couldn’t pinpoint it, but I knew that I loved her greatly, more than I ever thought I could or even would.

“I don’t believe you, Jake,” she whispered. “Honestly, you don’t need to try and make me feel good because I don’t feel bad. Really! I’m just surprised to be in here with you after everything that happened today; that’s all, mi Gato. I didn’t mean anything bad by it,” she said as she kissed each finger and my palm.

“Maybe you should stop and consider just why it is that you’re the one in here with me and not one of the others then, my spicy hot little Tamale,” I replied, turning her musings back on her.

“Huh? What do you mean?” she asked, truly puzzled.

“I thought that you would have known since the night we took that bath with the Epsom salts,” I smiled at the memory. “Think about it for a second. If I didn’t get Sheila or Heather to help replenish my energy earlier, as you rightfully pointed out, and I loved you less and the others more, then why are you here in their stead? Why would I choose you?”

She went silent. I could see her trying to puzzle through it. Her eyes went distant and unfocused, and her brow creased cutely as she tried to reason out the answer. I leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, my hand slipping behind her head, running my fingers through her silky black hair. I could smell the faint hint of orange and cloves emanating from her skin. It hurt just to be lying on my side like this, and it was agony using my arm, but the message I was trying to send was worth it. It would hit home harder if she could realize it herself without my needing to put it into words.

What was it that my Dad had always told me growing up? Actions spoke louder than words? It was odd the times when my Dad would pop into my mind unbidden, the memories bittersweet but always welcome. I kissed her again, her lips reflexively puckering against mine as she was too distracted with thought to pay full attention.

“Are-are you trying to tell me that ... that you love me ... love me as much as them?” she finally asked while holding her breath with hope-filled trepidation.

I pulled her to me and kissed her long and deep, with as much tenderness and passion as I could conjure up. I loved the way that she melted into me; her breath was sweet and minty, her lips plump and moist. I sighed as her arms encircled me and lightly stroked my neck and the back of my bald head, raising goosebumps upon my flesh. I willed her to feel my heartbeat. I wanted her to know that it pumped for her as much as anyone.