Chapter 2

Jedd Clampett

This is the second of a nine part story. Please read and comment on the content. Vote of you like.

Here goes part two...

Gary had always been her rock in tough times, her ever faithful husband, and the responsible father. Where had it all gone so wrong? He realized none of that mattered, not to her, not anymore. To her he wasn’t anything. He was like a spare part, something extra, a left over. Really, what could he offer; nothing now, nothing she couldn’t get from her buddies down at the office. He got out of the car and followed her inside.

Inside the girls were all up, awake, and in the living room. They were in their pajamas, such as they were. They were all wide eyed, scared, and innocent. Jessie was already upstairs crying, yelling, and throwing things.

Dorothy asked,”

What happened dad?” The other two just stood there. Katherine looked scared. Melanie had that preoccupied look she often got when she was upset.

They reminded him of three angels; they looked like their mother when they’d first met, when she worked at the library. He said, “Your mother and I are having some difficulties.” What else could he say?

Upstairs Jessie was sobbing, crying, and yelling, cussing, and just generally being outrageous. Gary made a beeline up the steps. She was in the bedroom packing a valise. She looked up and started yelling, “I hate you! I hate this place! I hate this house! I hate our children! I hate everything! I’m leaving! I never want to see you again! Don’t call me! Never try to see me again!”

She shivered and shook. She screamed, “If I had a gun I’d shoot you right now. I’d blow your brains out. I’d blow them all over the wall!” Valise packed, she scrambled down the hall, and back down the stairs crying and sobbing all the way. She stopped long enough to kiss each girl. She reached the front door, opened it, turned back around and in her loudest voice screamed at her husband, “I hate you! I never want to see you again!” She turned, slammed the door, and went down the drive.

Gary followed her to the front door, opened it, and looked out just in time to see her get to her car. She flipped him the bird, got in, and drove away. Turning back around, he looked at his girls. “We had a fight.”

Dorothy sat down and asked, “What did you do?” Katherine ran upstairs. She wasn’t crying, not yet, but he knew that was coming. They’d ordered pizza while Jessie and he had been out. Melanie started rummaging through one of the boxes. Melanie was funny that way; in times crisis she always was the one who had to find something to do.

“Any for me,” he asked?

Melanie didn’t look up, “Just some cheese, but it’s cold.”

Dorothy, sitting very prim on her mom’s easy chair said, “Gee dad, you must have really said something. I haven’t seen her this bad in a long time.”

She was right; there’d been other tantrums, this was the worst. He said, “Your mom’s having a tough time, what with the partnership. I think if we give her some space she’ll be all right.” He didn’t believe it, but he couldn’t think of anything else.

Dorothy stood up, she used her hand to make Melanie put the pizza down, “Come on Melanie,” she said, “let’s go check on Katy.” Katy was Katherine’s nickname. Dorothy led Melanie upstairs. Neither of them said anything else.

Gary picked up a piece of pizza and tasted it. Melanie was right, it was cold. He packed everything up, put the uneaten pieces in the refrigerator, and threw the boxes in the trash. He tidied up a little more, and around 4:00 a.m. went upstairs to bed, exhausted.

The next morning, around 9:00 a.m., his head pounding from the previous night’s alcohol he heard a tapping on his bedroom door, “Yeah?”

Dorothy opened the door and came in, “Mom texted.”

He said, “Yeah? What did she say?”

“Mom said she was sorry to us girls, but you weren’t to call or try to reach her.” Then she asked, “What did you and mom fight about?”

Gary yawned, stretched, and scratched his head. What could he say? He caught their mother fucking another man, not hardly. He tried to smile, “Not a good time for that right now, but it’s something she did, and she can’t get a handle on it.”

Dorothy asked, “You didn’t do anything did you?”

“No, I was just my usual stupid self.”

She said, “Melanie and Katherine are really upset.”

“Let me get a shower and get dressed. Later we’ll all go out for lunch. Maybe then...”

Dorothy interrupted, “Melanie and I have plans.”

“Oh, OK,” then maybe this evening?

She said, “That would be better,” she added, “be careful around Katherine. She’s really upset.”

Gary replied, “I’ll be careful. You guys be good. We’ll go out tonight and talk about things.”

She smiled, and as she closed the door she said, “Sure dad.” Then she reopened the door, “I’m going out with my boyfriend. Would it be all right if we took Katherine?”

He said, “Sure.”

She closed the door and Gary went back to sleep, or at least tried. He was up again by 10:00 a.m. It was Saturday, and he had work to do. He changed the beds, putting on new sheets and pillow cases. He stopped and sat on the edge of their bed, and considered Friday’s residue. Yes, he guessed this might be the end. He remembered yesterday afternoon when she first came home. She’d had on a loose blue cotton dress, cut just above the knee, long sleeved, both neck and cuffs trimmed in white. There must have been two dozen buttons down the front. He remembered how nervous he was and how excited she was. He recalled how her breasts just peeked over her brasserie. Jessie had small breasts, but he liked the way they were shaped, something like teardrops. They hadn’t rushed, but they hadn’t waste any time either. She kept her mound closely trimmed; he especially loved her sweet salty taste. She seldom did him, but Friday she had; she’d first kissed, then taken him in her mouth. He wondered now; who she’d been thinking about?

He started the wash, focusing first on the girls’ stuff. He ran the dish washer and put the clean dishes away. He kept as busy as possible. He knew if Jessie decided to come back and the house wasn’t clean she’d probably go off again. He didn’t have any schoolwork, as he’d finished that Friday. He did finally get a chance to putter around in the garage tidying up his tools. His car and truck were both clean; he owned a Chevy Silverado and Jeep Cherokee. He worked at everything he could think of. He was trying to keep his mind off his wife.

He gave up, went inside and pulled up the application on his cell phone that allowed him to locate where she was. Her car was parked in front of a nearby Hampton Inn. It made sense, she couldn’t overnight with Snyder, her paramour, as he had a fiancé, but Jessie probably called him to find out how her husband got her panties. She’d want to give him hell for waving her underwear around in some bathroom? Gary doubted if she’d say anything to her parents; they wouldn’t understand, besides, she’d always been good at keeping her parents, and his mother from getting too much information about anything. He wondered if she’d tried to contact any of the girls since her morning text to Dorothy.

He kept going around in circles not knowing what to do. Late in the afternoon, but before any of the girls got back he started to face the facts. Predicated on what Jessie had said the night before he could come up with only one conclusion; to her their marriage was over, and he agreed. If he’d held any hope of saving their marriage she’d killed it; she’d called him a “little man”, a “weasel” and a “nobody”. Comments like that revealed her total lack of respect. Worse, she’d played the whore and no man would stand for that.

~~~V~~~

Dorothy and Katherine got home first. Melanie showed up shortly after. He thought maybe they could all go out to eat. He knew they liked Appleby’s. He liked their Haddock. He got them all in the living room and asked, “Maybe we could go to Appleby’s, have dinner, and talk.”

Dorothy said, “No, dad. I think here is best.”

He said, “OK, but first let me begin by saying I don’t think things look good. I think your mom and I are headed for a bad end.”

For what seemed like several minutes no one said anything then Melanie spoke, “I’m not really that interested. Do you mind if I skipped this and went over to Carla’s house?”

“Honey you’ve got to eat,” he said.

“Dorothy said, “No let her go,” she turned to Melanie and added, “Take Katy with you. I’ll stay home and talk to dad.”

Melanie said, “OK,” and just like that his two younger girls went upstairs to get ready to go out. He looked at Dorothy and asked, “You know something don’t you.”

“Mom’s been awful busy,” she said, “and you remember when I went to her office before Thanksgiving for career day?”

“Yeah.”

Dorothy continued, “There’s a lot going on down there. Some of those young lawyers acted awful familiar with her. I don’t know. I think she liked it. I remember how Hannah’s dad and mom were just before their break up.”

He recalled that Hannah was one of Dorothy’s friends, “Did you see something?”

“No dad,” she said, “I don’t think mom’s done anything seriously wrong, but I think for mom it’s all about her right now. She needs her promotion. Maybe if you gave her some space. Maybe after a few days she’ll come around. You know she’s been traveling a lot. Last week she was in New York, and before that Boston. She works hard. I kind think you might’ve put some extra pressure on her last night and she got upset with you. I’m not saying it’s your fault, but I’m saying maybe you need to be patient.”

He wanted to say something. Dorothy was being so sincere, but she’d missed this one. “OK Dorothy. I’ll wait. We’ll all wait. I’ll go along with whatever everybody says.

She came over and hugged him, then she said, “Maybe we could put up the tree tomorrow?”

Gary said, “That might be a good idea, have it all be up when mom gets home. It’ll make her feel better.”

She smiled, “I knew you’d understand.”

Well that was that for another day. Dorothy went upstairs and rested. Melanie and Katherine went out. Gary went to Appleby’s alone and got the Haddock, a salad, and a coke.

Sunday they got all the decorations out and trimmed the tree. Gary was responsible for the lights and hiding the nail; the girls did the rest, putting up the ornaments and the garland. He especially enjoyed when they put up the things they’d made when they were little. They used to go to a Methodist church. That was where the girls got their Sunday school and all the other stuff associated with church and god. They had their Chrismons and their little paper ornaments from when they were toddlers. Jessie always packed everything away so neatly. When Dorothy was a baby Jessie had made an apron to go around the bottom of their trees. Jessie used to teach Sunday school when she was in college and law school. He still didn’t know how she did it.

They’d stopped going to church when they moved to their present house and Katherine got to middle school; he guessed church had stopped being cool. Overall he felt the day was going pretty good. He felt good, but a little sad too. He was hoping Dorothy was right, hoping maybe Jessie’s infidelity might have been the result of fatigue, or alcohol, or her being too focused on her career. Maybe things might work out? Maybe things would get better, but maybe they wouldn’t. If things did work out he knew he’d have to stomach a lot.

They got the tree finished. The girls and he all stood around it in a circle, and sang “Oh Christmas Tree My Christmas Tree.”

Melanie said, “We’ll have to do it again when mom comes home.”

Everyone agreed.

Maybe an hour after they’d finished Dorothy got a text. She saw it was from Jessie and left the room to read it. When she came back in she was crying. “Dad,” she said, “mom wants to know how long it would take for you to move out of her house.”

He was surprised and said, “What?”

“First,” she said, “mom won’t talk to you, not now, not ever. She said it was her house, she was paying for it, and she wants you to leave. When I asked her where you should go she said you should go to hell. Dad,” Dorothy added, “you must have really done something bad.”

Ignoring Dorothy’s accusation he asked instead, “She won’t talk to me?”

“No,” she said.

“She won’t let me text?” He thought, other times he at least got to text.

Dorothy said, “Mom said she wants you to leave and never see her again. She texted that she hated you, and the only thing you ever did that was good was provide the sperm that allowed her to make us.”

He stood there in utter disbelief.

Dorothy was softly crying, “I don’t think she means it dad, but maybe you should go or do something. She wants me to text her back. She said if you texted her she would block it.”

Jessie was right about the house. He had a legal but no moral claim on the building, but he had to clear some things up, “Ask her if I can take my tools, and ask her if I wanted to come back to see you girls.”

Dorothy texted, and got a message right back, “Mom said to leave the tools. Only take your clothes and stuff. She said you and she would work out visitation during the divorce.”

That started Katherine crying. Melanie went upstairs.

This was crazy, absolutely totally crazy. He should tell her to kiss his ass. He should tell her he wasn’t going anywhere, and that she should get her ass back home and face the music. He didn’t though. He didn’t want to fight this out in front of the girls. He thought Jessie did; she was itching for a fight in front of the girls. “Dorothy,” he said, “tell your mom I can be out of the house by Wednesday night.” At first he thought maybe if he left and she came home they might get together and hash everything out. Then on second thought he knew there wasn’t anything to hash out; she was a whore, a pig, and that was all there was to it.

Monday he called out sick. He had the sick days; he could afford it. He checked around and got the name of a good lawyer. He left all their joint banking material untouched, but he made damn sure all his mutual funds were secured; he didn’t think she knew about them anyway.

Tuesday he went to see a lawyer where he got all the grisly details. He knew in their “no Fault” state he was vulnerable, but he never knew how vulnerable. Jessie, if she found out and wanted to she could get half of the mutual money he’d been piling up. On the other hand his name was on the deed; he could give her trouble there. Their savings, almost all of which was her money was also fair game. Alimony was an interesting proposition; she made more than he did. He didn’t know how much more, but when he mentioned her “Freedom day” to his lawyer the man was blown away. His lawyer assured him, if she went for divorce, she’d be paying him alimony.

All the other things, the boats, his tools, guns, she could force to be sold and the money divided equally, but he could go in the house and do the same. Honestly, he didn’t want to get into any of the shit his lawyer was describing. His lawyer said he’d draw up some papers, and get them out by Friday. Gary agreed. He wanted to wait hoping Jessie would come to her senses; she was acting crazier than he’d ever seen before, and he’d seen some crazy stuff.

Gary understood a split was most likely. What he wanted was an amicable break-up; something that would be minimally damaging to the kids.

Tuesday night when he started packing the girls conveniently found reasons to be out of the house. It didn’t take long. In fact he was surprised at how minimal his presence turned out to be. He managed a small valise for cosmetics, a toothbrush, some toothpaste, deodorant, a razor, some shaving cream, a little dental floss, and that was done. Sure there was jewelry, but he decided to leave it behind, the tie clasps, cuff links, the onyx pinky ring, all was stuff Jessie had bought him, none of it he’d ever worn. The only piece of jewelry he kept was his wedding ring, and he wondered how long he’d need that. He’d thrown his school ring out already.

In the closet were a couple suits, a couple sports jackets, a few pairs of pants, a handful of shirts, three pair of shoes, and that was done. The expensive stuff she’d bought he left behind. Over in the bureau he turned out a few pairs of socks, some handkerchiefs, colored and white undershirts, and his boxers. Throw in one overcoat, a couple light weight work jackets, a leather coat Jessie bought him last Christmas, and his old L.L. Bean and he was done. He took it all and piled it in the living room.

There were pictures; the house was full of pictures, he left them too. He thought if he took a bunch of pictures it might upset the girls so he didn’t take a single one.

Outside he lowered the tailgate of his pick-up, and within minutes all the material possessions he owned were loaded. Though she was his, he’d have to leave Daisy behind. He looked around; except for what he was wearing and what he planned to put on in the morning there was nothing left. Eighteen years of life and love, and all of it was in the back of a truck. In a way it was like there’d been a death, and he’d packed up all someone’s earthly possessions. All that was left was to find a place to stay and wait for the final curtain. Sad he guessed, but unavoidable.

He left Wednesday morning right after the kids left for school. No one said anything. He hoped they were like him; wishing it would all go away, that Jessie would come to her senses and there’d be some kind of amicable settlement.

~~~V~~~

Jessie didn’t come to her senses. He got the papers Thursday as he left school. He sat back and read everything. He was in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening.

At the outset he realized she knew more about his private finances than she’d ever let on; she knew about all his mutual funds, and some of the other little things like the trust funds for the girls. She made it clear she didn’t want any of it. For herself she wanted to keep the house, hers and Dorothy’s cars, and all the money in their savings. In exchange she eschewed alimony, but instead offered him alimony for two years in the exact amount of what his monthly gross earnings were. How could she have known that?

She demanded full custody of the girls, but offered him two weekends a month and every Wednesday night for unsupervised visitation. In addition he was welcome to attend all their social and academic functions as long he avoided her, but regarding matters of future educational choices and summer vacations those were to be negotiated, with Jessie having the final say. The girls had been on his health care, which was excellent, that was to change, they would go on her health plan, more expensive, but he guessed it was another way for Jessie to assert control.

About the recreational stuff he got to keep the pram and the sailboat, but the motorboat was to be hers. His tools and all his firearms were to be appraised and sold, and the money divided equally. That was her being vindictive; she knew how much he liked to hunt, and every man’s tool shed was like a toy box. Meanwhile her jewelry and his, except his wedding ring was to stay with her. She vaguely referred to “other items” of apparel and personal items that were of interest only to her that would remain hers. He was sure there were things she’d bought he knew nothing about. He didn’t care.

Through her lawyer she averred in no uncertain terms there could be no reconciliation, no counseling, and no meetings, ever. This was to be a done deal, no arguing, no quibbling, no begging, and from her no admissions and no apologies.

He read it over twice before he fully caught on. The arrangements she was offering, considering her finances and his, were fair, ruthlessly so. He recalled he’d married Jessie the sweet though sometimes irritable girl. He’d shared the joys of young children and the over-achieving college and law school student. He shared a loving but somewhat troubled life with Jessie the upwardly mobile relentlessly ambitious lawyer. The proposals she made were those of an angry tigress, a bloodthirsty carnivore; she was daring him to question her or offer even the slightest alternative. He never knew the woman who’d sent this packet. She, and the lawyer she’d picked wanted a fight; she wanted one so they could take him to court and utterly and totally eviscerate him. This Jessie was being a remorseless, coldblooded professional.

Gary took the proposals to his lawyer, a nice guy, someone who should have received the same papers he’d gotten. The lawyer looked them over and then put it pretty clearly, “Mr. McGowan she wants to go to war. She wants to hurt you, destroy you if she can. I’ve seen it before, this is what happens when love turns to hate.”

He said, “If we refused and fought we’d lose. Accept everything she’s offered, it’s as good as anyone could expect.” He added, “I know her lawyer, she hates men, and she likes nothing more than crushing hapless men under the heels of her thigh high boots, she’s a pitiless bitch. Take the offer.”

He concluded, “Pride’s got nothing to do with it; everyone gets their nose rubbed in it at least once in their life, in the long run it won’t matter. Take what she’s offering and move on.”

Gary thought it over; he hated the idea of giving in. He wanted to fight. He wanted to make her spend some of her precious money, force her into a long drawn out emotion filled fight, something that would eat up some of her oh so valuable time. In the end he agreed with his lawyer; take the pain, get her out of his life, and move on.

Procedurally the divorce went according to plan; deadlines were set, final sign offs agreed to, and an end date, six months forward determined. The purpose for divorce was to be irreconcilable differences; any mention of any other reason and she’d trash the agreement, force it into court, and bankrupt him. The inference was obvious; there was to be no mention of infidelity.

Then in the midst of all that was happening he got a devastating call from Dorothy. “Dad,” she said, “you really hurt our mom.”

“Why, what did I do,” he asked?

“The stuff you took,” she said, “you didn’t take any of the things mom bought you. She got so mad she threw everything that was yours out. Worse, mom knows everything. All the stuff she bought you, and then you didn’t take any pictures, not even any pictures of us girls. Gosh dad, I think she wanted you take everything. Melanie thinks she might’ve wanted you to leave a note or a letter or something. You know something she could use as an excuse so she could call you or maybe for one of us to tell you to call her. Dad she cried and cried. Maybe she might’ve changed her mind. Katy thinks she wanted an excuse to not, you know, do a divorce.”

Gary listened to his oldest daughter. Had he made a mistake? Should he have taken everything? Should he have left a note? He heard Dorothy finish.

“Dad, mom’s a real mess. We’re scared.”

~~~V~~~

Back at the night of the gala Jessie had at first fled the scene, but she was no quitter, not her. In the quiet of the Hampton Inn she’d considered and reconsidered her plans. She loved Gary desperately, but he was such a loser. She cursed herself for giving in to Snyder’s blandishments and veiled threats. She was as good as Snyder; why had she let herself be so drawn in?

Then there was that other Gary. Who did he think he was? A school teacher! A middle school teacher. At a public school yet! He’d lost all ambition; hell, he never had any! She recalled his college grades, the grades from his graduate studies, his stupid Master’s paper; all of it mediocre. She remembered helping out, proofreading his paper. What a stupid idea; tracing the Lunar Synodic Cycle to see if it had any impact on student misconduct. What a joke! Of course it didn’t. Where did he get such a stupid idea? Where did it get him? Nowhere!

She remembered every word he said the night of the dance. He called her a whore! What did he know? He went on and made a lot of stupid threats like going to her office, facing down Snyder, threatening to call her out on the morals part of her work contract. Was he crazy? She’d show him.

Then he left; he really left. He could’ve stayed and put up a fight. And when he left he didn’t take any of the things she’d gotten him. He knew how long she’d fretted over some of those suits she’d bought him, and that onyx ring had cost a lot of money! His leaving, and the way he left was nothing short of a repudiation of everything they’d once had. How could he?

He pissed her off. She once suggested they hire a maid so he could go on and do some Ph. D. work. He could’ve quit teaching altogether. He could have gone into accounting! Not him, he wanted to be around the girls. Didn’t he think she didn’t want to be around them too? Sure, but she had ambition, she wanted to succeed, she wanted that fucking partnership. She vowed she’d get it too, she just didn’t think she’d end up fucking the biggest schmuck in the office. She didn’t think the stupid dick would get her panties.

Fuck it! Who cared? She’d get the god damn partnership, abide by that stupid bet, and if she had to cut bait on twenty years of happiness to do it, well – so be it. Oh Jesus God she hated it, hated everything. Why did all this have to happen? She had a life, a family, a home, a real home, and she was blowing it all up. It was all Gary’s fault!

She remembered growing up; sure her parents loved her, they almost never told her, but she knew they did. Why did they expect so much? Why couldn’t she be like the other kids, have sleep overs, go to parties, wear neat clothes, date boys, do fun things. Nothing she did was ever good enough. She showed them though. She’d get that partnership. She’d shown them all; especially that no account Gary. Who does he think he is?

~~~V~~~

Gary tried to go on with his life, and he suffered. He had unexplained headaches, persistent stomach problems, chest pains, an omnipresent malaise, and indescribable feelings of loneliness. He had a sadness he could neither define nor fully accept.

He felt so alone; it was like he had no one. He’d been OK with his in-laws, but Jessie was their daughter, they took her side. It never mattered, he never offered any explanations, and neither did she, except to say he was worthless and lazy. Maybe he was. His mother stayed neutral; she was afraid Jessie might cut her off from her granddaughters. Gary understood and accepted that. His mother didn’t know what happened, and he didn’t tell her so she leaned toward blaming him. He couldn’t tell her; she might blab to the girls and he didn’t want that. No matter how much he despised Jessie, she was still their mother.

He was lucky with the girls. Dorothy said she thought she figured it out. She told her sisters their mom was so obsessive she was borderline psychotic. She thought everyone should wait, that she might still come around. Gary agreed. What the hell?

He really missed the girls. He used to see them every day, but with the separation contact was very limited. He missed their carping and moaning, their fighting over clothes, and their insistence he be there right away whenever they needed something, anything. He felt like a part of his body had been cut off.

What had really happened? Jessie had been caught, but she’d denied it, and then she’d destroyed her family to protect her position at work. Mom was mom, and dad was dad, and the girls needed and wanted both, but their mother wanted that partnership. What had Oliver North said, “Shit happens.”

Gary thought about dating, but honestly, it was pointless, he loved his soon to be ex-wife, and he missed his old life so much he just wasn’t interested in any new relationships. He lost all interest in sex; there weren’t even any dishonorable discharges. Why bother? He had his daughters, they were his life. If he could just see them!

That wasn’t completely true. There were women at his work, two in fact. He thought about one of them from time to time.

Gary had made a mistake, his closest friend at work was a guy named Bob Bradley. Bob figured out something was wrong, and Gary felt like he had to tell someone. Bob had always been discreet about other things so Gary was sure he could trust him.

Bob and Gary shared one or two rounds of conversation. Regrettably they did it at a bar Bob frequented, a place littered with the detritus of other failed marriages. Gary never realized how much misery was out there. Many of the poor slobs he met had not only lost all their material possessions, but they’d lost any sense of self-respect too. For some everything revolved around fantasies of revenge, but for most there was just regret.

The angry ones dominated the conversations, and when it came to what he should do Gary got an ear full. Suggestions included tracking down the offending parties, buying some type of automatic weapon, invading their space, and scoring as many fatalities as possible before being stopped. It was strange; they were normal men, but they’d been caught up in an environment they couldn’t accept. He had to admit, part of him cried out for revenge, but a bigger part argued for restraint. He remembered he had three daughters, three angels, and he had too many good memories of a life once filled with a woman’s love. Besides, he believed, like Dorothy, Jessie was sick, she needed help, and he felt that responsibility might ultimately fall on him. How stupid – teachers and their rescue mentality.