Chapter 13: The Heart Aches

Author’s Notes: I’m sorry it took so long but, between the pandemic and some personal issues, writing was difficult. That said, big thanks to my usual partners in crime; my lady love for inspiration and criticism, bikoukumori for a tight editing job and you, the readers and Patrons, for your patience and support. Without it, I would have given up long ago.

All participants in sexual acts are adults. If you made it this far into my twisted fantasy, you should be well aware of the dark and messy topics I like to spring upon you. Consider yourself warned.

The Heart Aches

Carver finished the ritual and spread his arms. A tidal wave of magical energy expanded in an ever-widening circle and touched every single soldier standing at attention in the courtyard of his fortress, strengthening their bodies and sharpening their senses. Three hundred of his most trustworthy men, almost his whole garrison, were now ready to do battle in the hostile, lightless realm of the Depths. Three of Marissa’s apprentices stood by to open portals should the need arise.

“Isn’t that a bit much?” the raven-haired sorceress asked. “Planning an invasion of the Dree’vex compound? Marshaling almost every able-bodied man? Who will stand watch while we’re away?”

Carver offered her a fleeting smile. The images of her naked body, offered willingly for his every whim, flickered in the back of his mind like an explosion of colors. All these decades he had prided himself on his virtue, on his abstinence from anything which might distract from his grand scheme. After that fateful night with Matron Dree’vex and Marissa, he was keenly aware that a bit of indulgence didn’t hurt. On the contrary. It was Marissa who had shown an unexpected bit of initiative, offering another approach he hadn’t even considered.

“If we play our cards right, we won’t need to raise a single weapon. But only a fool enters a dark elven lair unprepared.”

Carver turned his attention to Marissa’s three apprentices, a cute halfling woman, a brunette human female with amazing catlike eyes and a broad-shouldered catfolk male, his leonine features shrouded by a cowl. “When we arrive at the Dree’vex compound, I will leave behind a portal token. Use it to anchor the exits and prepare to come spells at the ready.”

“Yes, Master,” they said in unison. The halfling even curtsied, granting him a good view of her cleavage. Carver shook his head. He hoped they were better at spellcraft than seduction.

“Don’t worry,” Marissa said aloud. “I choose my pupils based on skills first, looks second.” She must have listened in on their shared bond.

“Hard to believe,” Carver said softly. “What skills are we talking about?”

Her naughty grin told him everything he needed to know, as did the flutter of arousal which tingled through the tether. “All the things which matter. I am aware that my ‘prentices might be called upon to do more than amuse me in bed,” Marissa said. “I might be a slut, Morgan, but I am your slut. I would never do anything to inconvenience you. They will cast the Portal spells flawlessly. If not, they will have to answer to me.” Her eyes turned into twin pits of darkness for a heartbeat before their customary lusty glint returned.

The force of her emotions was surprising, as was the honesty he could sense. Another surprise. Faedal had become very adept at hiding his emotions from him over the decades. Marissa didn’t even try, instead laying everything bare for him to scrutinize. We’ll need to have a long, serious talk about the tether, Carver thought. Once the imminent threat has been dealt with. His eyes met those of Jhaless’ second-in-command, a priestess named Xalyth. She had been bound and gagged. Marissa also had taken away her obsidian spider symbol, just to make sure there would be no unexpected surprises. The captive dark elf eyed him with curiosity, something Carver somehow found even more troubling than outright hostility.

“Let us be off then. You know where we have to go?” he asked Marissa.

“Yes. While you made sure Jhaless’ raiding party will stay put, I scried the Depths. I know where the city of Nardur is. I also learned as much about the Dree’vex compound as I could. Three hundred of ours is total overkill.” The raven-haired sorceress launched into a Teleport spell. Carver closed his hand around Xalyth’s elbow and placed his other hand on Marissa’s curvy behind. A moment later, the world moved sideways. His perception changed, his sight lost all color as the magical night vision kicked in. Carver exerted his will to stave off the disorientation a Teleport usually brought on and sank to a knee. For a casual onlooker it might appear as if he had lost his balance in the wake of the spell. He dropped a small token enchanted with an Invisibility spell, opening the way for his troops should negotiations turn sour. A quick swipe of the hand covered it in soil.

Coming to his feet, he saw dark elves brandish spears and blades as they closed in on them.

Smiling, he spread his hands in the universal gesture of peace. “Please, be so kind and inform the Ladies Dree’vex that Morgan Carver has come to parley.” The stunned looks on the guards’ faces was priceless and it took Carver most of his willpower not to chuckle like a fool.

In the absence of their Mother, Tanith and Lilith Dree’vex had taken over as regents of their House. The sisters were an odd bunch. Tanith was tall and lanky, with a short, wild mop of white hair while Lilith was over a head shorter and very curvy, bordering on plump. A thick, icy white braid snaked around the right side of her neck and went over her ample breasts down to the belt of her robes. They eyed the small party with a mixture of surprise and indignation until Tanith strode forward.

“What is the meaning of this?” she snapped, using the Trade Tongue of the Surface. “Where is Matron Dree’vex? And what happened to her entourage?”

Carver offered a deep bow. “Your troops are my guests for the time being. To show my goodwill, I have brought Xalyth. She might be bound and gagged but is otherwise unharmed. As for your Mother ... I’d like to discuss that issue in private, if you don’t mind.”

Lilith opened her mouth but Tanith silenced her with a gesture. “Very well. Please unhand our dear priestess first then we shall find a quiet place to talk.”

“With pleasure,” Carver said. He undid the shackles holding Xalyth’s hands behind her back then removed the stiff leather gag. “I am sorry for the rough treatment,” he added.

“You could be one of us,” Xalyth said, her voice rough from disuse. “I should be furious but why bother? It’s about time this House receives its due.”

“Quiet, ‘sister,’” Tanith hissed. “Don’t forget your place.”

“As if I could,” Xalyth snarled, holding her hand out towards Marissa. “My amulet, please.”

Grinning sweetly, the sorceress dropped it into the dark elf’s palm. The moment the obsidian touched the coal-black skin, the idol began to stir, clicking on Xalyth’s hand.

“We’ll have a word with you,” Lilith promised darkly. “After we’ve dealt with the human.”

Xalyth made a rude gesture and stormed off towards one of the smaller buildings at the compound’s edge.

“Please, Master Carver. Follow us,” Tanith said, gesturing towards the compound’s main building. Like most dark elven settlements, Nardur was built inside a huge cavern. Unlike most cities though, the houses were not built into thick stalagmites. The compound consisted of a series of dome-shaped buildings, with strange pillars added to the sides which evoked comparisons to fat spiders huddling close to the ground. The dark elves had leaned into the imagery, framing the entrance to the compound’s largest building with a series of sharp fangs mimicking the mandibles of a giant arachnid. The door itself was built from metal latticework resembling webbing and the main hallway quickly split, one fork angling downwards while another curved upwards.

“If you want to speak to us in private, it seems only fair if your companion stays behind,” Tanith said.

Lilith made a quiet gesture. There was a muffled ringing from below, followed by a door flying open and hasty movement in the lower corridor. A moment later, a quintet of dark elven warriors came up the ramp. They wore skin tight leathers and short swords.

“Our men will make sure you’re taken care of,” Tanith said. “Within reason, of course.”

Marissa licked her lips. “So many strong boys and only little ol’ me? Finally somebody recognizes how much of a threat I am. Will you gag me?” She flashed a naughty smile at the dark elven sisters.

“Do we have to?” Tanith shot back, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“I’ll behave. Promise.” Marissa sashayed into the midst of the dark elven warriors and hooked two of their elbows. “Take me away then!”

The sisters took the upwards-leading corridor. Small light sources glinted in alcoves, offering the ghost of illumination as they walked up the spiraling hallway. There were doors on the left-hand side and Tanith eventually pushed one of them open and entered.

Carver followed her into a large salon. Even with his darkvision, he struggled to make out anything but the faintest details. A moment later, there was a sharp hiss and the smell of sulphur hit his nostrils. Two candles came to life, offering much better illumination. The first thing he saw was the ancient, square altar between the candlesticks, the coarse surface stained black from ages of use. Then other things came into view, like the banners depicting ferocious arachnids, etched in toxic green on black. Cabinets with glass doors framed to resemble webs – and two plush sofas surrounding a low table.

On the far side of the room, Carver saw two intricate suits of plate armor made for female wearers, along with vicious-looking, serrated maces resting heads-down between their legs.

“Please, sit,” Tanith said, gesturing at one sofa. “Do you care for a drink?”

Carver took a seat, stealthily touching a particular rune on his belt. A prepared spell activated, suffusing his body with an immunity to poison. “By all means,” he said.

While Tanith busied herself at one of the cabinets, Lilith eyed Carver with barely concealed hostility. The curvy dark elf sat across from him, never averting her eyes.

Carver chose to ignore her. Other things were demanding his attention, namely his own second-in-command. Marissa was getting to know her escorts, all five at once. It took a concentrated burst of willpower to tune out the sensation of groping hands and poking cocks.

When his eyes fluttered open again, Tanith leaned over him and held out a long-stemmed wine glass. The liquid inside seemed almost sinister in its dark purple hue. The wine smelled of forbidden subterranean gardens and exotic herbs, laced with a deceptive sweetness. The perfect medium to hide poison in.

“Thank you,” he said, claiming the glass.

Tanith returned to the cabinet and fetched two more drinks before she sat down next to her sister, handing Lilith a glass as well.

“I have a question,” Carver began. “What did Xalyth mean when she said ‘It’s about time your House gets its due?’” He took a small sip of the wine.

Lilith sneered at him. “Instead of praying that another House will attack and eradicate us, she should be grateful we spared her when our House massacred her degenerate family. After all, Xalyth, Tanith and I were best friends at the Academy.”

“Don’t distort the facts, sister,” Tanith admonished her gently. “Xalyth knew full well that her House was much lower in the city’s pecking order and worked diligently to earn favors. Mainly with her mouth on our pussies.” She chuckled amicably as her eyes met Carver’s. “Now, what about our Mother dearest?” There was a strange note in Tanith’s voice. Excitement?

Carver took a deep breath. The next few moments would decide how his quest for the first Dragon Stone would end. Once again he regretted cutting Faedal loose. For all his faults, Faedal would have been ready to jump to his defense at the slightest hint of a situation turning against them. Marissa was no help right now, with her mouth, pussy and ass being plugged by dark elven cocks.

Can’t be helped right now. Carver offered a quick prayer to Lady Desire and exhaled. “Matron Jhaless is dead.”

“You can’t be serious!” Lilith snapped, coming to her feet. In a silvery arc, her sword came free, the long, serrated blade pointing at his eye.

“Explain yourself,” Tanith ordered. “What happened?”

Calmly looking across the table and ignoring the weapon pointed at his face, Carver relayed the events of the previous morning – awakening between Jhaless and Marissa after a night of unholy debauchery and how he had failed to convince Jhaless to have the tether of Desire cast upon herself. The subsequent argument and Marissa taking matters into her own hands, killing Jhaless with her own transmuted unholy symbol.

He finished his tale, studying the faces of the dark elven sisters. He expected Lilith to lunge at him or Tanith to fling all kinds of death magic his way but neither of the sisters moved a muscle.

Eventually Tanith whispered: “You are certain she is dead?”

Carver allowed himself to breathe again. No rash outburst of rage. No cries for vengeance. “Nothing short of a miracle might bring her back. I burned the body and scattered the ashes.”

Both dark elves heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” Tanith added. She took a long sip from her wine and relaxed visibly. Lilith leaned the sword against the sofa and joined her sister on it, her face mirroring Tanith’s relief.

Carver raised an eyebrow. “I have to confess, I am confused. That’s ... a rather strange reaction. I expected more anger.”

Lilith snaked an arm around her sister’s waist and snuggled against Tanith’s shoulder. “You actually solved a problem for us. I’ll join my sister in thanks.”

“You know, killing a priestess incurs the wrath of our Goddess,” Tanith said. “Especially if another priestess landed the killing blow. I’m certain your mage won’t feel the wrath of the Chaos Queen.” She leaned down and placed an exuberant kiss on Lilith’s lips. The curvy dark elf responded by slipping a hand underneath Tanith’s robes, fondling her sister’s breasts under the sheer fabric. Within moments, they were both busy kissing and caressing each other.

Carver took a sip from his wine and allowed their celebration to continue. Before things could get out of hand completely, he cleared his throat. Tanith broke the kiss and removed her hand from Lilith’s nethers, offering an apologetic smile as she returned her attention to Carver.

“That’s an interesting relationship you have,” he observed, gesturing at Lilith’s almost naked body.

“Hostility breeds closeness,” Tanith explained, sitting up straight. She didn’t bother to cinch her own robe closed, leaving lots of charcoal skin and toxic green tattoos in the open. “Priestesses of the Chaos Queen invariably end up as rivals. In our household, it was Mother against every other female. She was deathly afraid of any of us usurping her power, so she made life abysmal for everyone. Lilith and I decided to work together. Things ... escalated a bit from there.” A naughty grin played on her lips. “There is a saying among our people, Master Carver: ‘Your brother or sister is less likely to stab you in the back.’”

“Did you like watching us?” Lilith asked, standing up. She shrugged out of her robe completely and sank back into the sofa. “We’ll let you join us. After all, ridding us of Mother deserves a ‘thank you.’” She muttered the syllables of a spell and began to caress herself.

Carver stopped his hand from moving in a deflecting gesture. He recognized the spell Lilith was invoking. He had heard it before, a particular dark elven incantation allowing for limited shape shifting. He shook his head. For all their supposed unpredictability, the females of House Dree’vex were very consistent in their behavior. As to confirm his suspicions, Lilith now brandished a proud erection.

“An enticing offer,” Carver said. “The main reason why I came here personally, instead of having Xalyth deliver the news, is to make sure our business relationships remain the same. Maybe to accelerate some matters, renegotiate others where appropriate.”

“Forgive my sister,” Tanith said, grinning. Her hand fished for Lilith’s rod and stroked it, causing the curvy dark elf to pant in pleasure. “I’m certain she and your sorceress would get along great.”

“You know what Marissa is doing?” Carver asked, intrigued.

“Yes. The leader of the unit is bound to me via a Blood Oath. I can see and hear what he is doing, feel it even. And right now,” - here she gasped - “he is plundering her tight little ass with quite a lot of zeal. I hope she can walk afterwards. A cunning move to make sure they won’t interfere.”

Carver chuckled. “I’m not quite sure if that was her motivation. Before we give into temptation as well let us discuss my main reason for being here. The Dragon Stone.” He sipped the rest of his wine and sat the glass down with an audible click. “With the death of your mother, I feel it is time to bring this matter to a close as well. I’m willing to keep the other deals as-is, including trying to find the perpetrators who destroyed the supply camp where your brother and sister were ... stationed.”

“Don’t worry about them,” Lilith said, stopping Tanith’s worship of her magically grown cock. “No one gives a fuck about a dirty Trickster believer anyway. As for our sister...” She offered Carver a devious grin. “Let her think she got off easy. Let her enjoy her time on the Surface for a decade or two. Her anguish will be all the sweeter once we find her and drag her screaming, broken husk back home. Dark Elves on the Surface tend to stick out, especially those with tattoos like us.” She cupped her breast. A trio of luminescent spiderlings seemed to crawl over her skin. “The Dragon Stone though ... hmmm. It’s an ancient artifact. Very valuable.” Her other hand closed around her erection and stroked, distributing glistening liquid along the shaft.

“I promised your Mother troops in times of need along with goods from the Surface for years to come,” Carver said. “Considering the favor you just earned, it’s high time your House relinquished the Stone.”

Lilith sat up abruptly, her eyes blazing. “I’m not certain you are in any position to demand anything, human,” she snarled. “You should feel lucky you’re still clothed and upright instead of naked and on your face, with my cock up your ass.”

Carver rose from his sofa and sat down on the low table, opposite Lilith. He closed his hand around her cock and stroked, shutting her up harder than any slap to the face might have. He closed his free hand around Tanith’s right hand and placed it upon his brow. “Cast your best truth-seeking magic on me,” he demanded. “I’m certain your goddess loves such spells as much as She likes this.” He pumped Lilith’s erection some more, causing the dark elf to writhe and moan despite the glares she tried to level at Carver.

“You are an intriguing opponent, Master Carver,” Tanith said, uttering a simple syllable. A spark arced between her fingertip and Carver’s forehead.

“I am prepared to take the Stone by force. Should I utter a particular command, three hundred armed soldiers will appear in your compound, ready to level it with steel and spell.” He loosened his grip on Lilith’s erection, causing the dark elf to moan in disappointment. Instead, Carver dipped two fingers into Lilith’s pussy which was still accessible between her thighs. “I would prefer an amicable solution though. Being able to spring your mercenaries on my enemies is an advantage I am loath to give up.”

“To be frank, I have grown used to Surface food too,” Tanith said softly. “Especially that venison. Beats cave creepers or fungus bread.”

“You’re ... willing to give away that artifact over a few tons of meat?” Lilith gasped. Her rage had lost a lot of steam.

Tanith’s lips curled into a smile. “No. Not just meat.” She rose and discarded her own garments before lowering herself onto Carver’s knee. “I was thinking about an alliance. The news of Mother’s death will surely spread like wildfire, especially if the Chaos Queen thinks it prudent to let her children know. We might be forced to defend ourselves. I see more use in being able to ask for three hundred soldiers in a time of need than having a piece of rock able to control dragons which haven’t been seen in these parts for centuries. Don’t you agree?” Tanith leaned forwards, engulfing Lilith’s cock with hungry lips. Lilith only groaned in heat.

“Come in!” Thurguz bellowed. Rhys opened the door to the half-orc’s study and entered. The late morning sun slanted through the singular window, pooling in a bright spot in the center of the cluttered room. The old wizard looked horribly tired as he squinted at Rhys. Piles of books piled high on his far-seeing table, along with a teapot and some half-eaten food.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything important,” Rhys said. “I can come back later.”

Thurguz made a dismissive gesture. “Nah, I could use a break. Been reading the books Chassari has brought all night.” He shook his disheveled head. “What’s on your mind?”

“Freeing Celeste, for a start. Faedal has her.”

“Good riddance then,” Thurguz snarled, slapping the table top. “After all we did for her-” He gnashed his teeth. “I’m not sure I want to save her.”

Now it was Rhys grinding his teeth. “Master, with all due respect – if we let Celeste slip through our fingers, Hilgrun’s death will go unpunished. Do you want that?”

“And what will be the cost of trying to apprehend her? Do you even know where she is?”

“Yes and no.”

“You’re not making much sense, lad. What is it now?”

Rhys took a steadying breath. “I know Celeste is with Faedal. I’ve seen them talk. He has locked her up in a tower, in a small keep next to a rather striking crater lake. Sheer cliffs everywhere. A breathtaking view in the morning. But that’s the end of what I know. This fortress could be anywhere.”

Thurguz bared his fangs and shook his head. “I know the place. It’s called Skyview Lake. The keep and surrounding land had been gifted to our former adventuring band by King Orran IV. It was our base of operations for ten years before Carver swore fealty to Desire.”

Rhys’ eyes lit up. “So you know how best to attack it?”

“Yes and no,” Thurguz said, a weak grin tugging at his lips. “It’s been a few decades since last I’ve laid eyes upon that place. There is no telling how Carver or Faedal might have fortified it. I’m certain many of the old secret passages are sealed or trapped by now. That’s what I would do anyway. Make the place dangerous for former inhabitants.” He locked gazes with Rhys. “You really want to attack Faedal in his lair?”

The sorcerer grinned sheepishly. “You have final say. If you think it is too dangerous, I’ll probably heed your warning. I learned my lesson last time. But I’m determined to bring Celeste to justice for what she did to Hilgrun and Zentam.”

Thurguz chuckled and a bit of life seemed to seep back into his eyes. “You’re not the only one who learned a bit, lad. Saying ‘no’ only seems to cause all kinds of havoc. Before you storm off and hire some shady characters in Lordehome, let me offer what help I can. Just promise me you’ll be careful.” The half-orc rose and cleaned up the far-seeing table, stacking books onto the floor and precariously balancing his dinner – or breakfast – on top of them.

“I’ve seen Faedal fight close up. I have no desire to deal with him just yet. I only want to find and rescue Celeste. If she is willing to come with me, that is.”

Thurguz manipulated the levers above the table, bringing the southern half of the Western Continent in focus. “I’m not sure Faedal even is the bigger problem right now. Celeste might be one of the most powerful spellcasters I have seen in a while.”

“Even more powerful than you?”

Thurguz chuckled again. “Easily. I’m pretty sure she could give Idunn a run for her money as well. I had forgotten just how powerful Celeste was before we tamed her.”

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “Tamed, Master?”

“Yes.” Thurguz cast down his eyes. “When she came to us, Celeste was dangerous, not only to her enemies but to herself as well. We found her in the ruins of a burned-out village, the only survivor amidst a blazing inferno. She was untouched by the violent energies whirling around her, crying for her parents. I am not proud to say so but Idunn and I managed to rein in her destructive tendencies by teaching her less efficient ways to use her magic.”

“The same way you’re trying to teach Sen patience and restraint by having her work as a servant?”

Thurguz sighed. “Yes. Would you rather have me unleash her on the world, only to be killed when her own raging emotions cause her to make a fatal mistake? I’m trying to save lives, even if my methods seem overly cruel.” Quieter, he added: “It’s not like I’m forcing her to stay here against her will. Sen could leave whenever she wants. She chose not to. I am not like Carver!”

Rhys laughed, a soft, bitter sound. “Where could she go? Maybe the idea of the whole wide world at her fingertips is even more painful than having to watch other students graduate before she even is allowed to wield a knife?”

Thurguz shook his head. “If I’d known how much of a pain in my ass you’d become, I would have never taken you in.” He sighed. “Come, look.”

“Was that a compliment, Master?” Rhys joined the wizard at his far-seeing table.

“I’m not sure myself. See Lordehome over here? Carver’s fortress is over there, a few days to the south. And Skyview Lake is about a week’s ride east of that, in the foothills of the Seaclaw Mountains.”

“No roads to get there?” Rhys critically eyed the bird’s eye view the table showed him. “It looks dreadfully lonely out there.”

“That’s why Orran IV was so quick to use it as payment. The keep is ancient, built by the elves as an outpost against the giants who called the Seaclaws their home. There’s not much to find in the vicinity apart from a small village inhabited by shepherds and miners. Couple of monster nests but we took care of them when we moved in.” Thurguz sighed wistfully. “Good times. Carver, Idunn, Zephrya and I, scourge of Ogres, Trolls and other assorted critters.”

“Master?”

“Never mind my babbling.” Thurguz shook his head. “There are a few goat trails which wind over the passes here, here and here. We didn’t bother with them though, not with a powerful sorceress like Idunn in our midst.”

“So you teleported in and out?”

“Yes. Since we worked all over the Old Kingdom, we mainly used the Cat & Cockatrice Inn in Lordehome as the staging ground for our adventures, using the keep to store our treasure and as a retreat in between missions. We had all the necessary facilities, like a smithy and library and a chapel.” Thurguz had a far-away look in his eyes. “When Carver betrayed us, I decided to improve on the idea by making this tower not only our home but a place of learning for other adventurers. Maybe my ambitions were a bit too grand.”

“I am truly grateful for what you have done, even if I failed to properly show my appreciation,” Rhys said, placing his hand on Thurguz’ arm. “Without you and Celeste and Idunn, I might be dead by now, killed in the same attack which cost Dara and all the others their lives. Or maybe I would have died much sooner, drained by my own magic.”

Thurguz looked pointedly at his hand. Rhys removed it from the half-orc’s arm and blushed. “Anyway, I want to help. And the first step will be to find out what in the Burning Pits Celeste was thinking when she rampaged through your – our – home. To do that, we obviously need to bring her back here.”

“It sounds almost as if you have a plan,” Thurguz grumbled. “Out with it.”

Rhys shook his head. “It’s more the skeleton of a plan. There are too many blanks yet. I don’t know who will accompany me, considering how fresh these recent events are in everyone’s mind.”

“You seem pretty collected, all things considered,” Thurguz observed.

Rhys made a face. “I’m done grieving. Or maybe I haven’t even truly started to grieve. So many people close to me have died in what seems like the blink of an eye. I’m afraid if I sit down and take a breath to deal with it all, I might never get up again. Faced with that possibility, I’d rather channel my energy into something useful.”

“That’s rather insightful,” Thurguz said.

“Having a very wise elven ghost in earshot does help. Haloryth helped me focus my thoughts on these important matters.” Rhys smiled fondly and touched the ring sitting on his right index finger. Two bright motes of light seemed to dance within the silver band. “Anyway, the idea is rather simple. Teleport as close to the keep as possible, infiltrate it, find Celeste and teleport back out, hopefully all without alerting Faedal to our presence. I was thinking of taking two, maybe three companions along to supplement my lack of experience and combat prowess.”