Chapter 6

The minute Ryan and I got inside the door of Spike’s pub I heard sarcastic jubilation. Just as I expected, it was the mates at their customary corner table. Over the rapid clunking sound of pint glasses hitting the table and several hoots, I heard Nigel say, “Well let’s hear it again for Axe-wound Arthur.” I knew I was in for a drubbing, at least a grilling for what kind of details I could provide about my weekend with the “woman in the sporty MG” with whom I spent the weekend.

“Ryan told us about what the room was like the night you spent with her in the dorm,” Giles said.

“That wasn’t the woman in the MG. That one was a student at the Uni,” Ryan clarified.

“REALLY,” Giles said as the mates laughed and beat their beer pints on the table. “So, the plot thickens, there’s more to the story than just the MG lady? But I want to hear about the MG lady and where she kidnapped your teenage body to Axe-wound.”

I knew I was in a corner. While I had no intention of telling my experiences in detail, I realized I would have to tell some kind of story to get the wolves off my back. What made it more distracting was that while looking around trying to come up with an answer I noticed four girls sitting at a table across the room. All of them appeared to be interested in what was going on at our table. At least they were all looking our way with questioning smirks. I am sure it was because of the noise. But it had as much to do with the fact we were five males sitting together and the girls might have been looking for a little action.

Anxious to center me in the group I said, “You guys wouldn’t believe me about the woman in the MG, even if I told you.”

“Give us the opportunity to determine whether you’re a bullshitter or not,” Ryan said. Apparently, I hadn’t satisfied him with the answer when I came back from Bourne on the Water. He wanted clarification of my actions for himself. But the best that I could do was to repeat what I said to him at the time. I had to do that for him at least so he wouldn’t think I wasn’t a pathological liar.

“I told you about her in the room Ryan.” I hoped he wouldn’t share the details with the others but knew that was a desperate hope at most.

“That you did A-W (he was already abbreviating Axe-wound which I knew would be my permanent moniker) but I want to hear more, at least about how you and she met. Why would a sexy woman like that go for a young kid like you.”

Relieved, I got the feeling that he wasn’t expecting me to give the nitty-gritty to the mates the same way I had told him about it in the room. I related how this “deadheading” airline stewardess sat next to me on the plane ... how she settled me down when we went through a rough patch of turbulence and how she made sure I got all the amenities of a first-class passenger. I didn’t mention anything about sex on the plane, just that she made my flight much more comfortable. I noticed Ryan smirking as I told that part of the story. “Then we got to London. She took me to her flat where we had lunch, and she took me on a quick tour of the town before dropping me off at the Uni.”

“That was it?” Nigel said.

I was pleased to see the sparkle in Ryan’s eyes. Apparently, he was okay with spreading the word about Sioban, a university girl. But for some reason he wanted me to keep what went on with Colette under wraps. I never did tell him Sioban’s name. All he knew was that I spent the night in the room with her, used two of the three condoms he’d given me, and had sex in his bed where she soaked his sheets and that I replaced them with mine from the top bunk. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t pushing me to tell the details of my weekend with Colette at the Cotswolds. But after being so forthcoming with the unnamed British Airways stewardess on the way over and being with her in her flat after we landed, I felt it would be wrong not to communicate the details of sex with the unnamed university girl that I fucked in his bed. When I considered why I was so generous with any of these details I found that I was just eager to brag to my peers about my sexual experience as they were to hear it. I felt uncomfortable about being a “kiss and tell” but I was still a teenager looking for approval from my upperclassmen. From the way Ryan was acting within the group, I got the feeling that he was playing the part of a worthy confidant, a quality I was just learning to respect.

Answering Nigel’s question, I said with a chuckle, “She’s the same age as my mother Nige. Maybe I brought out the nurturing female in her.” With the exception of Ryan, I saw sarcastic smirks all around. More emphatically I said, “She’s really cool. She gave me the ins and outs about airline travel and even gave some pointers about how being nice to stewardesses and how it might get me some extra perks.” Seeing the disbelief on their faces I continued, “like better meals and extra treats along the way.”

“Yeah I bet,” Nigel said. “So where did you sleep when you were at her cottage in the Cotswolds?”

“She has two bedrooms in her cottage,” I said.

“And you didn’t sleep with HER?”

“Come on Nigel,” I replied, “I told you that she’s like my mother’s age. She has a guest bedroom, for crying out loud.” At his eye-rolling grimace I went on, “I told you before that she is a nurturing female—a motherly type—who has taken a liking to me. I don’t know why. Maybe she always wanted to have a kid like me.” I laughed as I saw Ryan smirk and his eyes light up. I could hear the words he was thinking: “What a bullshitter you are Arthur.” He was not disputing anything I said though, so I gathered that he was on board with me.

“But Ryan saw her when she picked you up,” Nigel said. “He said she was hot.”

“She IS,” I said, “but so’s my mother.” I gave derisive laugh. “And I sleep in my room at home by the way.”

“Likely story,” Nigel replied.

With an aggressive edge to my voice, I said, “Are you accusing me of anything with my mother?” stiffening and bunching my fists.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, “I didn’t mean to imply that you were involved that way with your mother. I was talking about the airline stewardess.”

“She’s my mother’s age Nigel,” I emphasized. “And she has taken a parental kind of interest in me. I didn’t sleep with her.” Joking I added, “It’s not that I wouldn’t like to but it’s not in the cards.” Taking Ryan’s lead, I kept the lie alive. “Actually, it’s pretty nice being so far away from home and having an older woman caring about me like that.” Then I reinforced the image of my male braggadocio. “You already know that I was with a girl in our room Nige. Ryan spent that night with you and Willie for crying out loud.”

Willie who was the least argumentative of the mates said, “That’s enough Giles, why would Axe Wound want to deny getting laid with a hot stewardess if he really was? Most guys lie about getting it even when they are not scoring.”

I was happy to have the emphasis of my weekend with Colette put on the back burner. Deep down when I kept saying she was the same age as my mother I kept thinking about the things I had already done with Colette. Once again it stimulated thoughts of any possibility of doing the same things with my mother. Hypocrite, I thought as I remembered Colette’s bedroom in the Cotswolds imagining being naked with my mom with ALL THOSE MIRRORS. You would think with as much sex as I had over the weekend that I wouldn’t get aroused easily. But here I was with a hard-on pushing against my pant leg just thinking about those things.

“What do you think about those girls at the table in the corner?” Giles said.

I noticed Ryan smirking when he said, “Why don’t you go check them out Giles and see?” Smugly looking at me he raised his eyebrows playfully.

Everyone but me commented about how cute they were.

“They might not want us to shag them,” Willie put in, “but maybe they’d like to share a pint with us.”

It turned out that Giles was the most overly confident one in the group who didn’t know how to talk with girls as well as he thought he did. Taking the bait as he usually did, he sauntered over to the girls’ table with his pint in his hand. As he talked to the girls I could see dubious looks forming on their faces and kept shaking their heads and forming the word “no”.

As Giles was coming back to the table, I noticed the girls laughing and shaking their heads. “So, what did they say?” Willie asked.

“They’re cows,” Giles said. “Not only that, but they’re also townies (local working girls who were not going to the Uni). They said that they have no interest at all in college blokes.”

Ryan asked, “What did you say to them?”

“Well, I introduced myself and asked them if they would be interested in a little action.”

Willie, Nigel, and Ryan looked at each other and shrugged. “We’ve been at this party before,” Willie said. “Giles strikes again.”

Even at seventeen still learning the ropes I knew Giles was crude. I hadn’t approached Colette or Sioban, they let me know they were interested in me. I had yet to piece together that I had the kind of charisma that attracted females enough to do that kind of thing. The mates were having another pint while I was still nursing my first one. Ryan made it clear to me that he might get in trouble with Spike (the pub owner) if I had too much to drink and made an ass of myself. But I noticed that two of the four girls that Giles had spoken to were getting up from the table to leave. The two who stayed looked like mirror images of each other. They could have been twins. Both had long blond hair that made them look like they could have been California surfing girls. They appeared slight and while they were not as foxy as Colette or as drop-dead-gorgeous as Sioban, I thought they were really cute, not “cows” at all. They seemed to be glancing over at our table. The one on the left appeared to be eyeing me. Feeling prickly and a bit uncomfortable at her scrutiny I wondered what she might be looking at.

All the mates except Ryan were draining their pints ... said they had to get back and study. Ryan still had more than a half-pint left. Having nursed mine, I still had at least a half-pint. Ryan reached out his glass as if to toast. Not understanding what he wanted I reacted by reaching mine out and clicking against his. What? I thought. “So, A-W,” he said, emphasizing my new nickname,” you seem to be holding up pretty well to the hazing the mates are putting you through.”

“I’m still uncomfortable with the vernacular and have a difficult time figuring out their sarcasm. Maybe I shouldn’t have lied about Colette and the Cotswolds.”

“You did the right thing,” he said, “I was trying to give you a signal to make sure, but you did it all by yourself.”

“I caught your looks,” I said, “but wasn’t sure what you were trying to communicate.”

“They’re good chaps, all of them,” Ryan said. “Giles is a bit light in the I.Q. but a good bloke just the same.” He laughed. “He sure laid an egg with the girls. He’s noted for those kinds of fuckups.” Chuckling he looked over at the two girls and then asked me, “So do you think they’re cows?”

“No way,” I said, “They’re not raving beauties but they’re cuter than hell in my opinion.”

“Mine too. All four of them were cute. Giles was just tweaked that they turned him down. He is used to rejection by females though. Some guys never learn.”

“So, what’s wrong with being townies?” I said.

“Nothing. Giles is just a bit of a snob. He comes from a ghastly rich family. Those girls are not just working girls either, they’re nursing students.”

“How do you know?”

“When the two girls who left got up, I noticed they were carrying binders that had St. Anne’s Nursing School printed on them. The two who are still there have the same binders. Nurses are hot Arthur and are more likely to fuck than most girls.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s common knowledge A-W. I guess because they are so accustomed to looking at naked bodies and touching guys’ dicks in their jobs. Anyway, it looks to me like those two want us to come over and spend some time with them. I was hoping the mates would leave before somebody else caught their interest.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“The one on the left keeps giving me the eye and smiling. And her sister—I’m sure they are twins—can’t keep her eyes off you. What do you think about going over there and introducing ourselves?”

“Giles already tried that.”

Shaking his head and “tsking” me Ryan gave me a look like I had lost touch with reality. He was already getting up as he said, “Giles turns women off A-W but I’m becoming convinced that you bring good luck. Let’s strike while the iron is hot roomie and see if you can live up to your nickname.”

When I got up and joined Ryan in the walk across the pub the girls had already lowered their heads as if they were demurely hiding from us. “Hi,” he said, “I’m Ryan and this is my roommate Arthur. You girls seem to be enjoying yourselves. Would we be out of line to ask you to join us for a pint?”

The one on the left looked up and smiled. “You’re not out of line at all,” she said, “I’m Meghan and this is my sister Corey.”

Corey raised her head, smiled warmly at me, and said, “You and your friends seem to have been enjoying yourselves. But what’s with your friend, Giles is his name? He completely freaked us out when he came over.”

Ryan laughed and said, “Giles is really a good bloke but sometimes he is his own worst enemy. He made the comment that you were a hot group of ladies and went on a quest to win your hands.”

Giggling and looking at each other, Meghan said, “He made a bust of that.”

“Miserably,” Corey added. They looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and laughed. “But.” Looking at me she added, “you two seem quite nice, “Could we offer YOU a pint?”

“That was supposed to be our line,” Ryan said looking at me. Looking back at the girls and shrugging his shoulders he went on, “But it appears you don’t want to be obligated.”

“That means you’ll have one with us?” Corey said.

Ryan said, “Full disclosure?” The girls looked questioningly at each other and nodded. “If you buy pints for us, you’ll be putting yourselves in jeopardy.” Perplexed, the girls eyed one another. “Arthur here’s not eighteen yet. He’s a yank, still in high school in the U.S. So, he’s kind of my responsibility.”

I felt strange, embarrassed by his condescending introduction. Except for Sioban’s initial concern about me being so young it hadn’t hurt me. “Don’t worry,” I confidently said, “I’ll be old enough to get pissed (drunk) in a couple of months.”

Corey scanned me from head to toe then got up and said, “I’ll get the pints. Is Guinness good for everybody?”

By the time we were half finished with our pints Ryan and I established that the girls were twins—Meghan was born first. They were both in nursing school. Their father was a physician and their mother a nurse. They lived at home with their parents, just around the corner from Spikes, and went to St. Anne’s which was less than a mile away. It was apparent even to me that the girls were on the prowl. While both originally seemed to be centering their attention on me our conversations had gravitated to Meghan talking with Ryan and Corey with me. When our pints were almost finished Meghan who seemed to be the dominant twin said, “Mummy and Daddy are currently at a conference in Lucerne. They left this morning and will be back on Saturday. Would you like to see where we live?”

I should have been stunned by what was occurring but for me, things like this had been happening regularly since I got on the plane. For a boy who had led a sheltered life with nothing happening sexually other than stumbling, fumbling “dry hump” adventures things were falling into place like the script of a James Bond movie. My life in London was a nonstop dream. Colette, Sioban even Ryan, my roommate and appointed advisor all seemed to have been written into my story. So, I just accepted that my status as a visiting high school student was something of a novelty that provided me with incredible social benefits.

With a serious look of consideration, Ryan said, “That seems like an invitation that would be foolish to refuse.”

“So,” Meghan said, taking Ryan’s hand as if she were claiming a prize and standing up with him, “we’ll take you home.”

The house was one of those townhomes you might see in an old English movie. It looked like a brownstone in New York City except for the entrance below the main steps with a sign pointing to “Surgery.” The twin’s father still had patients visiting there. We walked up the stairs and entered a wide hall with a staircase going up the left side. There was a wide door to the right which opened on a parlor, behind which was the dining room and then the kitchen. The girls pointed those out to us before Meghan said, “Let’s go upstairs.” At the second level where the stairs turned, there was another wide double sliding door behind which Meghan pointed out the upstairs “reading room” behind which was “Mummy and Daddy’s” bedroom that was connected to a bathroom.