Chapter 4

Besides that one incident, the rest of Caryn’s pregnancy went without a hitch. We went through the training hand in hand, and I promised to be there with her all the way. Of course, her growing belly set some limits on our love-making but I did my best that what we lost in quantity was given back in quality - and intimacy. I massaged her tired legs and made sure that her stretched skin was well-treated with protecting oils. In response, Caryn did her best to be a loving wife who takes care of her husband’s needs.

It was around four in the morning, near the end of May, when Caryn woke me up.

“Will, I think ... I think that I peed in our bed. I’m sorry.”

When she suddenly winced in pain, I understood.

“Honey, I think that your water just broke!”

The following half an hour was a time of constant action, only interrupted by Caryn’s contractions. By then, she was well awake, and also remembered the teachings we were given during the maternity training. Soon we were inside the car, and on our way to our local clinic.

For the next four hours, I watched Caryn in awe. Despite the obvious occasional pain she never really complained, but only squeezed my hand a bit tighter. It was just before nine on a beautiful Thursday morning, when Judy Marianna was born. She was a small, healthy girl with good lungs. I was asked to cut the umbilical cord, and I gave the little girl her first bath, but not before she had rested a while between her mother’s breasts. We made a quick call to Caryn’s brother and told him that he was now an uncle.

A bit more than an hour later, both Caryn and Judy were soundly asleep after Judy’s first meal. I just sat there looking at my wife and baby girl. A miracle of life that had just a few hours ago occurred in front of my eyes. Once I made sure that Caryn was really asleep, I put on a pair of disposable gloves and picked a small plastic container and a cotton swab from the pocket of my jacket. Then, I carefully put the end of the cotton swab into Judy’s mouth. For a moment, the little human tried to suck on it before I took it away and stored it carefully in the container. Then I trashed the gloves and put the container and a small note inside an envelope that had an address and a stamp already on it. I dropped the envelope into a bin labeled ‘outgoing mail’, in the lobby, while nobody was watching.

On my way to work, I was gathering my thoughts. Somehow, gone was all the happiness that had been there for a bit more than half a year. I had known that this day might come but I had had no idea it could feel so bad. Yet I had to do it. It was part of the plan. Just to make things worse, the ladies from the bank had arranged an impromptu party. Soon I was blushing and grinning when the older women were pulling my leg with stories about dirty diapers and burping the baby. Even if I had felt like shit in the beginning, their good mood was contagious. By the time I revisited Caryn and Judy at the hospital, I was smiling, again.

The next two days kept me running around in haste, but I made sure that I’d spend some time with Caryn and Judy as often as I could. When it was time to drive them home, I felt that I was at least familiar with those few baby things my employees had teased me about. Maybe not yet comfortable, but at least familiar. After all, Judy felt so small and fragile in my hands. Caryn’s brother had visited the hospital to see his niece, though we met only briefly.

After two weeks I could quite honestly say that I was comfortable taking care of little Judy and Caryn was also comfortable with the thought of staying at home with Judy. Monday morning, I was busy catching up with things; but after lunch my work was interrupted by a delivery service guy. I showed him my ID and signed the receipt. After that, I spent several minutes just looking at the envelope. After opening it and reading through its contents, I spent a moment more, just gathering my thoughts. Then I rebooted my laptop from the USB stick I had been carrying. I made my entries, then, once I had booted my machine again without using the USB stick, I spent some time staring at eternity. I had been warned about this, but I had been an arrogant bastard and ignored the warnings back then.

Back at home I was a happy father again, and took care of Judy while Caryn was resting on the sofa.

“Caryn, my dear. I’ll be leaving early tomorrow. I need to visit the big town for business. However, I’ll be back early.”

“Is it something important?”

“Just some business and advice. Our own town is so small that if I open my mouth here in the morning, it will be common knowledge by afternoon. Like our dating.”

That got a giggle out of Caryn, and I had to smile a bit, myself.

The following night, Judy woke only once. I made sure that Caryn didn’t need to take any extra steps, so I took Judy from her cradle to eat and returned her there once she had a clean nappy and had burped. When I woke up early in the morning, I made sure that there was some coffee for Caryn in the thermos and there was some breakfast ready for her in the fridge.

Taking care of my business and organizing things went surprisingly quickly. On the other hand, I was dealing with professionals, and all these things had already been pre-negotiated by email. Maybe it was the fact that I had been living in a small, quiet and slow town for some time that made me think that way. Whatever the reason, I was driving back home in the early afternoon, deeply into my own thoughts. By the time I got back home, I was my old self, and Caryn was more than happy to see me again. The following day, she would bring Judy to the diner for her co-workers to see.

The night was almost like a rerun of the previous one. The only difference was that I had some trouble sleeping after feeding Judy. I lay there a long time, awake, looking at my sleeping Caryn. Once I finally fell asleep, my sleep was a troubled one and filled with nightmares. When I woke up in the morning, I hoped that the coming changes would put an end to those nightmares. When I left for work in the morning, Caryn was awake, too. She reminded me that she’d be visiting the diner before noon. We kissed goodbye, and I left for work.

That morning I forced myself to work on all the open issues, so that I had my desk cleared before lunch. Fifteen past eleven, I saw through the windows that Caryn stopped and picked up the baby seat from her car. A few minutes later, a motorbike carrying a college-aged boy and girl, also stopped on this side of the road. I kept on looking at them while a large pickup truck also stopped near the bank’s door. I could see Sean Donaghue behind the wheel. I could see the motorcycle guy, in his leathers, pick up an envelope and head to the diner while the girl rushed over with her envelope and managed to stop Sean Donaghue just before he was about to open our door.

I turned my attention to the pantomime outside the bank, and the expressions on Sean’s face. In the beginning he was smiling at the girl in leathers. Then came the confusion, but it didn’t last for long. Then came the anger. I could see that the girl had her other hand on a can that most probably had some kind of pepper spray inside it, but then I could see Sean turning his head and trying to look inside the bank through the windows. I knew that he couldn’t see much through the reflections, but I could see him quite well and the amount of pure hatred in his face couldn’t be missed.

He stood there for a moment looking in, while the girl walked back to the motorbike where the guy was already waiting for her. Then I could see Caryn rushing out from the diner, just to see the motorbike disappear. By that time, Sean had turned around and noticed what had happened. Caryn just stood there with some papers in her hand and saw how Sean jumped back into his truck and drove away. I turned away from the window and looked at Mrs. Bonner.

“Mrs. Bonner. It seems that that the meeting I was supposed to have is canceled. However, there are some things I need to take care of.”

Without waiting for her to answer, I closed the door behind me and walked out of the building to my parked car. After that I just drove away in my car, and tried not to think. I didn’t have much success with that. It was mid-afternoon when I got a call on my cell from Justin, Caryn’s brother, just after having a lunch I didn’t want to eat in a diner in a nearby town.

“Will.”

“What the hell do you think you are doing? Caryn is crying her eyes out.”

“Didn’t she show you the papers?”

“Yes she did, but...”

“Then you should know quite well what I’m doing, and why, Justin.”

“But you must know that she loves you like nobody else.”

“Interesting way of showing it. Look, the suggestion I gave should be very fair. All she needs to do is to sign the papers and accept.”

“You should at least talk to her. Or let her talk to you.”

“And exactly what good would that do?”

“Please, Will, don’t you owe her at least that much?”

I stayed silent for a moment. I was prepared to stay in the small apartment upstairs, since it was currently unoccupied. But the truth was that I probably needed to see Caryn at some point.

“Okay, when?”

“How about this evening at six?”

“I’ll be there.”

Then I just hung up. By that time, I had guessed from some voices in the background, that Justin was using the phone speaker and that he wasn’t alone. But it hadn’t sounded like Caryn.

At six o’clock sharp, I was at my own home’s door. There was one car besides Caryn’s already there, and I wondered if Justin wanted to be close when we had our discussion. I was quite sure he wouldn’t want that.

I opened the door with my own keys and the first thing I could see was a teary-eyed Caryn looking at me with Judy in her lap. Then I saw a shadow from the corner of my eye and I just had time to lift my left hand to protect my head. It didn’t help much. Or maybe it did, since without my hand protecting me, I’d probably been counting stars for a while. Now I’d probably have only mediocre headache, but my left hand was totally useless. Before I had time to wonder if there were any bones broken, I got another extremely hard hit from the baton, and this time to my left leg which gave away under me. It hurt like a hell and I heard Caryn scream.

“Please don’t hurt him, please.”

I heard a laugh. Sean, of course. And I could see Justin standing next to Caryn, supporting her.

“Don’t worry. I have no intention to do any permanent physical harm to your dear husband.”

As soon as Caryn, Judy and Justin were out of the door Sean hit my left leg again just before taking a grip of my injured left hand and pulling me into my own living room. After a second, I didn’t need to wonder if anything was broken in my left arm as the pain was almost too much. However, I didn’t faint but I was moaning and gasping for breath when he let me go in the middle of my living room. He kicked me hard in my stomach before checking my pockets and picking up my wallet and phone. He checked my phone, and put it on the table next to my wallet.

When I was able to orient myself a bit, I got to my knees, and turned to look at him. I noticed a semi-automatic pistol on the table in front of him. I had to wince when I moved, but I knew not to show him any fear.

“You won’t get away from this! No way.”

That brought a smirk to his face.

“But of course I will. After all, I’m not even here right now.”

I guess that he saw something flash on my face as the smirk widened and, in fact, he laughed a bit.

“Oh, you’re thinking of that fancy security system of yours that a distant cousin of mine installed?”

He was actually chuckling when he continued.

“How do you think I could come in here without you having a clue? There will be no trace of my visit, or anything else.”

I looked at his smirking face and tried to make sure that my voice was steady.

“So, you were also behind the break-in.”

“Maybe. But that is not why I’m here, now.”

He paused briefly. “You know, William, you did a very stupid thing. However, for some reason, Justin’s sister likes you and wants to stay married to you. So now you need to be a good boy, and call off that divorce. Then, you’ll need to humbly apologize to Caryn and Justin and go to the diner and explain that you have been an idiot.”

Before I could say anything, he hit me once more with the baton; this time on my back close to the kidneys. It took me a bit longer to get back on my knees and look at him. I tried to put as much disgust in my voice as I could.

“And why in a hell would I do that?”