Chapter 5

I struggled to open my eyes. It was bright and took a couple of minutes for my eyes to adjust. I was in a hospital bed, hooked up to a lot of monitoring equipment. Looking down I knew I was in 1993 as I appeared to be about 6’1 and 275lbs, and pretty much a butterball. Well, I’d be a lot different come September.

The door opened up, and a nurse walked in. She was older, probably in her 50’s or so. Okay looking, but wouldn’t be winning a beauty contest anytime soon. Not saying a word, she began checking my vitals. I couldn’t catch what she was mumbling.

She looked at me and said, “Well everything looks good. I’ll let the doctor know that you’re up and give your parents a call.”

“You can call my mom. That’d be better than calling her husband.”

“OH. OK.”

In my first 40 years I’d never known my biological father. With her comment I realized something. Things were going to come to a head with my stepfather, Randall Criscek who was a functional alcoholic. This time around it would change. Randall or as he was better known as Randy, was an unmitigated asshole. I would bide my time, but things were going to change.

I was brought out of my deep thought process by something hitting the floor. Seemed the doctor was coming in to check on me and had dropped my chart as he was checking it chart before starting.

“Mr. Badzinski. I see that you’re awake.”

“Barnim is fine.”

“So how are you feeling? Your tests don’t show anything wrong and it’s been stumping us as to why you have been unconscious that last three days.”

Well, I’ve been out for three days. I need to rationalize this because if they don’t like the answers, I’ll be stuck here for a lot longer than needed.

“I’m feeling fine Doc. Refreshed, like I’ve had a great night’s rest.”

“Well, I’m going to need you to answer some questions. Do you know where you are? Do you know what the date is?”

“Well, I live in Henry County. So, I’m guessing this is Henry County Hospital. As far as the date. I don’t remember the day I collapsed, but with being here 3 days, I’m confident it’s still early June 1993.”

Looking over the chart, he started muttering to himself. I could see he wanted to say something. Having the body of a 16yr old, I wasn’t getting the treatment I was used to. I needed to adjust my expectations a bit, but I was going to use my knowledge to the fullest.

“Look Doc. I don’t remember what happened. If everything looks good, I’d like to go home.”

He looked somewhat pensive. I had a plan I wasn’t going to let it go and it needed to get implemented now. I was going to play a long game. I had knowledge, and it was going to pay for me in the long run.

“I understand that I’m 16, and a minor, so my mother has to sign me out. So, if someone could get a hold of her, that would be very appreciated.”

“Well, I feel we need to run some more tests. I’m not satisfied with the results that have come back so far.”

“That’s all well and good. I’m a minor and you need approval for any tests that need to be done. I’m not in any threat of dying. So again, please inform my mother that I’m awake and waiting for her arrival.”

He looked at me with disdain. Like how dare I speak to him in that manner. It was at that point I decided no more tests. Getting out of here and getting my ass in gear was the priority. It was during this exchange that it dawned on me how I ended up in the hospital, though it was only a theory.

They say your brain is essentially an organic computer. When you update a computer, those updates don’t take effect until you restart the computer. So, after the Agen updated my brain, either they restarted my body or my body forced itself to restart. Either way, it’s time to get this ball rolling down the hill.

“Doc, I’m not allowing any tests. When my mother gets here, I’m going to inform her of the same thing. That is unless you can actually point to something that is wrong with me at this time.”

“Now look here. I’m the medical professional and I’m not going to let some wet behind the ear kid to tell me how things are going to go.”

“Well, it seems we’re at an impasse. So, if you would, please leave the room. All this aggravation is giving me a headache.”

“I’ll not be talked to in such a manner. There are tests to be run, so get with the program kid.”

“Not going to happen Doc. We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Me, I’d prefer the easy way. In reality it’s not up to you how this goes down.”

“Look here you little punk. You better shut your mouth and do what the hell I tell you. I’m in charge here and you hold no power. Don’t you dare think you can sit there and threaten me.”

The ranting and raving weren’t a good look. Though I guess my chuckling and laughing wasn’t helping the situation. When I learned that I was getting a second chance. I told myself that no one was walking over me again. And that was starting now.

“We’ll resume this when your parents get here.”

With that he stomped out of the room. I’d just have to see how things went once Mom got here. Either way no more tests. Getting out of here and getting my plan set in motion was the number one thing to get done. Getting out was the immediate priority and start that process, I needed to get this catheter out.

Well, waiting for a nurse wasn’t going to happen. This was going to hurt a lot. I don’t remember where, but I heard that you had to piss when a catheter came out. Getting out of the bed on the bathroom side, I pulled up the hospital gown and moving slowly, I went as far as the tubing would let me. I kept moving and after a second, it started moving. So, I jerked hard. The pain started, then the yelling started, and finally it was all the way out. I made it into the bathroom door before the piss erupted, and went everywhere. Well, I would have to apologize for the mess. Just needed to claim ignorance.

Luckily, I never let the hospital gown fall, so it was clean. By the time I was done and cleaned myself off. The nurse came in.

“What’s going on?”

“Sorry. I had to go really bad and didn’t realize that I was hooked up.”

“Oh, dear Lord. Let me get a janitor up here. Son, go lay back down.”

It was during this exchange I decided on the next step. Time to head off Doctor Asshole. Laying down, I grabbed the phone on the nightstand between beds. Like every phone system, dial 9 for an outside line. I dialed my mom at work. Luckily Mom was just like my Grandmother. Cheap, frugal, or what every you want to call it. She doesn’t like spending money. Plus, there is a general distrust of doctors in my family.

“Lilka Griscek, USARC. How may I help you?”

“Hi mom.”

“Barnim, is that you? Oh, thank God you’re awake.”

“I’m ok Mom. I need you to come down and get me. The doctor is wanting to run a bunch of tests seeing as they can’t find anything. Oh, and I kind of got into it with him.”

“Barnim, I’m going to shut my office down and be on my way. Don’t smart off to the doctor anymore. Also, don’t let them do anything until I get there.”

“Yes Mother.”

“I’ll be there in about an hour. I’m glad you’re awake. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.”

“Love you to Mom.”

About 45 minutes after the call to mom, good ole Doctor Douchebag came into the room. He had a big smirk on his face. I knew this was going to get interesting fast.

“Well Mr. Badzinski. Let’s get you going. You have several tests scheduled for the next hour or so.”

Seems some people never learn. As far as I could remember, you couldn’t do anything to a minor without parental approval, unless it was life threatening. Mom was going to go ballistic when she got here.

“Doc, did my mother give approval for these tests that you’ve so kindly scheduled?”

“Your first test is scheduled for 10 minutes from now, so we need to get moving.”

“Nope. Not going to happen. You either get my mother in here or you get me an advocate that has nothing to do with the hospital. I’m a minor and you don’t have carte blanche to do as you please. Forcing unnecessary tests that my legal guardian hasn’t approved is going a bit far.”