Chapter 33

Waking up on the 5th, I could only imagine the hassle that the first leg of the trip was going to be. It would probably put me in the mindset of never having any kids.

It was a major production getting the two of them ready to go, and I was actually surprised that Randy wasn’t going to see his kids off. You could see Mom was pissed off about it from the anger seething on her face.

We got to the airport just before 11am for the 12:15 flight. It didn’t take long to get checked in, then we made our way to the gate to wait for boarding. Mom had a conversation with the ankle-biters shortly before they called for boarding.

Kneeling down in front of them, she said “I expect you two to behave and mind your brother and grandparents. Am I understood?”

There was a simultaneous “Yes ma’am”.

“Just so you both know. Barnim has my permission to tan your hide if that isn’t the case. You do as he says, just know I’ll find out how you two are behaving.”

I looked at my mom. “Mom, they won’t have to worry about me. I’m sure Grandfather will have a strap at their house in Honolulu.”

She looked at me, smiled and then looked at them. “He probably does.”

Everyone in the family knew about the strap, which was just a thick belt. Both their eyes got really big and were shaking their heads “No”.

“Well you had better be good then.”

Erin looked at me and smiled.

“You won’t have to worry about me Barnim. I’ll be good.”

“That’s good to hear. If you are, maybe I’ll find something nice for you while we’re there.”

It seemed that us speaking Polish annoyed Randall almost as much as it did Randy.

“Y’all need to speak English so I can know what’s going on.”

“Well, if you need to know something, I’ll let you know. Other than that, you might want to brush up on your Polish so you can be part of the conversation.”

It was left there as they had started boarding the plane. Mom told me to take good care of her babies as our group was called and we got in line. I herded them onto the plane and found our seats. Being stuck in coach was going to suck big time but there was no way I was paying the difference for both of them to be in first class.

We got seated, a three-seat row in the middle of the plane. I took an aisle seat and Erin sat in the middle. I told them of my expectations for them on the flight.

Bothering the stewardess would get them a visit with Grandfather when we met up with them. If they needed to use the bathroom, they would need to let me know.

The flight to LA was just over 5 hours and I figured I could make it with my sanity intact. Randall had a Gameboy, so I figured that he would be occupied for this leg of the flight. After that he wouldn’t be my problem anymore, Erin on the other hand would want to sit next to me on both flights. She’d at least let me read some, so it wouldn’t be that bad. I had a Sony Discman and some CDs, so I’d be good.

Things were going pretty good for the first couple of hours. Erin spent the time coloring and then took a nap. I was reading a book on the siege of Khe Sanh during the Vietnam war.

They served sandwiches with some sides for lunch and I kept the soda intake down by only allowing them juice or water. I didn’t need either or both of them hopped up on sugar and caffeine locked in an airplane.

Erin was napping, and Randall had gone to the bathroom. He wasn’t back more than 5 minutes when he started whining and pitching a fit. When he slammed his Game Boy on the tray table waking up Erin, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Erin switch seats with me and go back to your nap.”

“OK.”

Once we switched seats, I could see Randall had a look of concern on his face. I wasn’t going to put up with that shit and it was going to stop, right fucking now.

“You better knock this shit off. If it doesn’t, I’m going to drag you to the bathroom and make you regret it.”

“But...”

“I’m not done. You keep this up and you won’t be able to sit when I’m done with you, and then I’ll turn you over to Grandfather for more punishment.”

“But Barnim, my Game Boy died, and I don’t have any more batteries.”

“Let me guess, you didn’t tell Mom that you needed batteries for the trip, did you?”

“Ah ... well, no.”

“So, you’re pitching a fit because you’re an idiot. Sit there and be quiet for a while and I’ll see what I can do. You open your mouth and we’ll visit the bathroom.”

I knew that I had some spare batteries in my backpack, but he was going to have to suffer in silence for a bit. About 10 minutes later, I could see he was seriously fidgeting in his seat. I knew he had no backup plan, so I finally ended his suffering by digging some fresh batteries out of my backpack and letting him see what I was doing. I could tell from his body language he wanted to grab them, but I checked the batteries in my Discman before I turned to him.

“You get these and that’s it. You give me the Game Boy when we land. Be on your best behavior on the trip and do whatever Grandfather and Grandmother tell you. You’ll get it back with extra batteries on the flight home if you agree and don’t act up. Don’t agree, and I’ll tan your hide like Mom said, starting right now for that tantrum you threw earlier.”

“Uh ... OK.”

I handed him the batteries, then looked over at Erin; she was still asleep. I went back to my music and my book.

The rest of the flight to LA was uneventful; I even helped Erin with her puppy coloring book. Though it was a 5 hr flight, it was just after 2 pm due to the 3 hr time difference.

We let everyone off before us, as I didn’t want to lose track of either of them; Mom would have killed me if that happened. As we came out of the Jetway, I could see them waiting for us, Erin went out running to hug them. I gave my grandmother a hug and brought up the rear as we made our way to the gate for the flight to Honolulu.

We had a 50 min layover, which meant we’d take off about 3:20 or so for the 6 hr flight. Again, we’d lose time as we crossed to Hawaii, meaning we’d get in just after 6 PM.

I didn’t know how the jet lag would affect the ankle-biters, but knew I’d be grumpy for a day or so. We stopped at an A&W root beer stand on our way to the boarding gate and grabbed something to eat.

This flight was a lot more relaxed for me with Grandmother and Grandfather along. I actually took a nap on the plane, the first time I could remember doing it in either lifetime.

Grandmother was the same in either timeline, she had stuffed anything from the airplane that would fit into in her purse - blankets, cups, silverware, headphones. I mean if it wasn’t nailed down, she would see if it’d fit. If it was mentioned that she was a closet kleptomaniac, she would respond that she “paid for it with her ticket”.

Erin was clutched to me as the plane began its descent into Honolulu like she had on the first flight. As we disembarked from the plane, Grandfather was in the lead and I took up the rear.

When we left the Jetway there was yelling and screaming. A hallmark of our extended family; no one had any clue what an inside voice was. Standing yelling for us was as I found out later, Grandmother’s younger brother and older sister.

I heard her brother ask Grandfather who was the giant that they brought with them. I saw the look of surprise on his face after talking to Grandfather as he walked towards me.

“Barnim, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. You were just barely walking at that point. The pictures I’ve seen didn’t give a clue as to how big you were getting.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

I was slightly taken back when he hugged me as it wasn’t something I was really used to. He let go, and before I could react, I was embraced in another hug. Looking down I saw this cute little old lady. Erin came over and tugged on my pants.

“Who are these old people?”

Grandfather cut in before I could respond.

“They’re your grandmother’s brother and sister. They don’t speak Polish, so it’s rude to speak it and exclude them. Do you understand me young lady?”

She hid behind me but looked at him and nodded. Grandmother’s brother responded in Portuguese to Grandfather; I only understood one word out of the whole thing. He saw that I didn’t understand what he was saying and turned to Grandmother. They both were shocked that she could let my Portuguese suffer. He looked at Erin and said she could speak Polish as much as she wanted, he would just respond to her in Portuguese. I could see she felt bad about it, so I told her not to worry about it as they were just kidding with her.

We went down to the luggage carousels after trips to the restrooms. Davina and Armando, my grandmother’s siblings were pretty spry for old people. When we found where our luggage would come out, they went out to bring the cars around. They actually made it back before the luggage started coming out. Grandfather, Armando, and I were left to collect the luggage while everyone else went to the cars.

The luggage started coming out. I knew what the luggage from Atlanta looked like and Grandfather pointed out their luggage; looked like I was pack mule again as normal.

Things took an interesting twist as I picked up the last bag and put it on a cart. A gentleman next to me picked up a large cardboard box, and as I turned around to go; there was a large group of uniformed cops standing there.

“Sir, we’re going to need you to come with us.”

I froze. I mean to this point of my second go around, my experience with police hadn’t been all that great so far. The guy next to me dropped the box and took off running. He got maybe fifteen feet before he was tackled by a handful of officers. I just started walking and didn’t stop. The luggage taken up two rolling carts, Grandfather had one and I the other.

When we got outside, there was a newer station wagon and an older 4 door car. Davina, my grandmother’s sister, told me to put as much luggage as I could in the station wagon and the rest in the car.

There was a brief conversation between her and Grandmother in Portuguese. Again, I could only understand a few words. I got “big one”, and what appeared to be an exchange of a few positive and negative responses. When they were done, Grandmother turned to me.

“Armando and I will drive back in the car. Barnim, you drive the station wagon and follow us to the house. If we get separated, Davina will give you directions to the house.”

There wasn’t much else to be said other than OK. Getting in the car, I marveled at all the gadgets; I’d never been in a Mercedes before. I had to adjust the seat all the way back and was surprised at the amount of legroom.

As we pulled out, I spoke to Davina. “Davina, why such a big expensive car?”

“Call me Auntie. My husband, God rest his soul, always said to buy German cars. Though they may be fascist and heartless, they make amazing machines. Never buy Japanese, their cars are good, but they’re sneaky people.”

Grandfather snorted from the back seat. It was a common diatribe that I’d heard often enough from my grandmother though she normally substituted Oriental for Japanese. Grandfather on the other hand had an intense dislike, bordering on hatred, for the Germans and Russians. It wasn’t right or really the Christian way, but I could understand where the sentiment came from.

As we drove, it struck me that we had the windows rolled down. It was really nice out, probably about 75 degrees, and it looked like the sun was going down. I inquired as to when the sun would set and was told just after 7 PM. That was just over an hour and a half earlier than home, this was going to throw me off. I then had to field questions from Auntie Davina.

“So Barnim, where’d that big cut on your face come from? You fighting at school?”

An answer chimed up from the backseat just as I was about to answer. Erin sounding like my biggest cheerleader in the world.

“No ma’am. Barnim is a professional fighter. Mom says he’s really good. She told me he beat the other guy to a pulp in the fight she watched.”

Auntie Davina was quiet for a moment while looking in the backseat then spoke up.

“Guess it runs in the blood.”

I heard Grandfather reply to her.

“Guess some people don’t know when to keep things to themselves.”

That was surprising coming from him. There was something behind that, that I’d have to see if I could find out. The rest of the drive was finding out what we wanted to do while we were here.

It came as no surprise when Erin announced that she wanted to learn how to surf. She loved anything involving the water and was generally fearless when it came to trying new things. It also wasn’t a shock when she said she was going to learn to surf rather than try to learn. It was a rather unique trait, hopefully she’d always be that way.

Me, I wanted to go visit Pearl Harbor, and wanted to walk around the swap meet that my grandmother always talked about. It was at the Aloha stadium and had been going on for years. That was pretty much it for me other than going to the beach.

We drove up into the valley and pulled onto a private street. It wasn’t a driveway; it was literally a two-lane road and was named after the family.

From the story, they had to petition their State Representative for a couple years to get it officially named Gouveia Lane. I could see based on the drive up the valley, that on their plot of land they’d left most of the natural vegetation in place. This contrasted with the rest of the developed land, so it was like a tiny forest in a big developed area.

Pulling up to the house, you could see that they hadn’t cleared the whole two acres. It was a fairly nice sized house, the size and shape of a large ranch house, but had the exterior looks of a bungalow. There was a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties waiting on the front porch. She walked out when the cars parked, and we were introduced.

Mariana Cardoso, was a fairly attractive woman and I needed to get ahold of my hormones before I said something stupid. Though she was distant family, she was still family.

It had been explained on the flight from LA that she was the caretaker of the house and had been living in my grandparent’s house since a big accident happened 5 years ago. She was the granddaughter of Grandmother’s older sister. Her parents and grandparents had been taking a helicopter flight from Honolulu to Molokai for a wedding and it had crashed killing all on board. Her brother, who was older, took over the family plot of land. I guess they don’t get along which is why she takes care of my grandparent’s house.

From the initial introduction, she seemed like a nice person. She was working as a receptionist at a doctor’s office while going to nursing school.

I brought in the luggage with very little help from Armando and Grandfather. As we were bringing things in, I heard a lot of barking coming from further up the property.

“What’s up with the dogs, sounds like a bunch of them.”

Grandfather just shrugged and kept walking, though Armando stopped and looked at me.

“That’s the pack. Sameulu is getting them some work before Wednesday. We’ve made plans for you on Tuesday or Wednesday. It’ll be a life changing outing. I hope you didn’t have anything planned those days.”

“No, I didn’t. Do I get to know what these plans are?”

“No.”

That was cryptic, I couldn’t get a read on anything from him. The other question was who was Sameulu?

They showed me to my room which had a Jack and Jill bathroom; it looked like I was sharing a bathroom with the ankle biters. I’d have to remember to lock the doors. Erin came in while I was packing my stuff.

“Barnim, are you going to come with me when I learn how to surf?”

“Sure I’ll go with you, though I don’t think I’ll take lessons though.”

“OK.”

She turned and left. Guess that was another day already planned for me. We got called into the kitchen where they had set out a spread of fruit, meat and cheese cubes. Good option as nobody seemed to be all that hungry.

After snacking for a bit, I laid down to finish my book, crashing out about 9:30. My body felt like it was damn near 4:30 AM due to the time changes.

I woke up about 8 in the morning, still feeling a little fatigued. There was a light breakfast of fruit set out on the table which I found out came from the various trees and gardens on the various properties surrounding the house, everybody grew something different and shared the results.

There were orange trees just off the back patio which counted for the fresh squeezed juice. What surprised me was that the oranges were just about the size of grapefruits. I could get used to this.

Mariana started a conversation that illustrated to me that the Hawaii branch of the family was kinda out of the loop.

“So Barnim, what are you studying in college?”

Grandmother and Grandfather chuckled and smiled at each other. Erin just started laughing.

“You think he’s in college? Mom just let him get his license last summer.”

Mariana looked lost.

“I’m only 17 Mariana. I’ll be a Senior in high school next year.”

“OH!”

Grandmother steered the conversations away from unknown topics and toward shopping, which was a hit with everyone but Grandfather and me. We were drafted as pack mules even though we protested.

Grandfather said we needed to go out and check the fluids on the car. They also had a station wagon, though it was a Chevy. It was determined that we’d drop them off and then go get the oil changed on the car. Knowing Grandfather, we’d end up close to somewhere he could get a beer.