Chapter 18

I’m ashamed to admit this ... The hell I am! I was flying high in my wildest dream. Think about it: I had three lingerie-clad college girls who were eager to share me with each other in any sexual way I devised. All that power, all that energy, all that desire. There’s no surprise I started our night together with a swashbuckling dildo swordfight.

‘Sword’ might be an overstatement. The bright green foot-and-a quarter double dong in Alex’s hands was a little too floppy compared to the pair of silicone vibrators I wielded in the icepick grip.

“Avast, scoundrel!” Alex shed all of her giggles and played her character straight. She raised her weapon into a guard possession. Her face turned positively villainous. I salvaged all of those giggles and ramped them up into manly guffaws until I was laughing in her face. She didn’t make it any easier. “Your booty will be mine, scurvy dog.”

“Oh no!” Sam was no actress. She slipped up behind me and her hands ran over my shoulder and side. “Save us, Dildo-Ninja! You’re our only hope.”

“Um? Can I surrender to Alex?” Max asked from my other side.

I had survived innumerable swordfights with my brother. Broom handles, sticks in the woods ... Mom couldn’t wrap Christmas presents without adding to our cardboard tube arsenal. Turns out, with all that experience, I knew nothing. Alex stepped forward, sliding between a playful two-bladed crosscut, and uppercutted me. If she had a real blade, I’d have had my sternum split in half. She hadn’t expected the give of her weapon. The dildo snaked up my chest and whipped me in the chin.

“Gene!” Alex broke character in worry. I swayed back; she stepped in, unguarded. I spun around her and grabbed her by the waist. My sex-daggers pointed between her breasts and towards her thighs.

“You got her!” Sam cheered.

“Oh no!” Alex turned her head up to me. “Am I to walk the plank?” She wiggled her butt. “‘Cause that’s a big plank.”

So, the laughing didn’t help. I really wanted to go all in on the game. The invitation shone in her eyes, overloading my lizard brain until I pulled her tighter against me. However, I was still trying to stab her with dildos. I had finally made my parents proud.

“Captain! Now!” Max surprised us all. She spun along our left side and ran the side of the suction-cup-bottomed dildo across my ribs. I let go of Alex and feigned the wound.

“Wait? I thought we were trying to all get captured and ravished by Gene?” Sam asked. “What’re you doing, Max?”

“The fight’s not over yet!” Alex recovered her footing and her ‘sword’ floated dangerously in front of her. Max is not a sneak. She was up on her tiptoes and had her weapon overhead. I tapped Max in the hollow of the throat and dropped that dildo to the floor. I grinned. I snagged the redhead and made for the captain. I had grabbed Max’s nightie above her breasts and pulled her to me.

“I’ve got your little spy, uh, Blondebeard?” We hadn’t really dug into the characters before we started the scene. Oh God! What was my motivation! Max found the name Blondebeard to be ecstatically funny. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a human shield who is five hundred percent giggles?

“I was thinking ‘Captain Hooker’.” Sam shoveled coal into Max’s giggle engine.

“Your plan has failed, landlubber!” Alex flourished her sword. “Now I’ll--”

Alex was ticklish. Sam got her right below the ribs and in her elbow. The theatre major collapsed, laughing, kicking, and flinching from Sam’s fast fingers. I squatted down and stroked red hair. Max had collapsed onto her butt on my feet.

“Disarm Blondebeard and tickle her down! Join the winning side,” I told her.

“Is it the dark side? It’s more fun to play the bad guy and, uh, pirates are badder than ninjas. I think.”

“Go.” I pushed her and she scrambled up. Max knew exactly where to strike, inside Alex’s thighs and behind the blonde’s knees. I swaggered over, kicked aside the dildo, and looked down on the three of them.

“You’re all mine now,” I told Alex.

“What--Oh my God! Girls--” Cackling flinching laughter. She found her voice a moment later, but she was still under assault and breathless. “What’s going to happen to me?”

“Rum, sodomy, and the lash,” Sam declared. I snorted at her affected threatening tone.

“There’s not enough rum for everyone,” I tutted, shaking my head.

“Sure, stop! Uncle! I surrender!” Alex started tapping the floor, the coffee table, Max’s shoulder, and Sam’s knee. “Oh my god!”

Her face reddened, her hair whipped, her body spasmed; she was lovely. I smirked.

“You do have rum! There’s two bottles. One in the fridge and the other in the cupboard.” Alex pointed. That opened her armpit. Max attacked.

“All three, then?” I made sure to bare all of my teeth. I wasn’t unable to smile in the moment. “You’re in for a hell of a night.”

“Oh.” Max stopped tickling. The meaning of Sam’s words percolated through to her brain. Alex’s eyes went wide as her lips flattened in surprise. “Oh. Wow.”

“Hey?” Max asked. “Do you want me to start pouring drinks?”

“Are you in help-everybody-out mode or--”

“I’m fully charged from the magic boots.” She disabused me of my worries. “Oh, and um. Can you help me put this on?”

She slid across the table and lifted a strapon harness with her index finger.

“Whoa?” Sam’s eyes had gone wide and her hands were waving to slow us all down for a moment. “I thought that was in the joke pile.”

“There’s a joke pile?” Alex and Max could’ve jinxed each other in that moment.

“There’s not?” Sam seemed shocked. She picked up a glass shape with a bulb on one end and a ring on the other. “I mean, this is supposed to be for butts.”

Max looked at Alex. Alex shrugged. Max seemed shocked. I almost spoke. I was going to say something not unlike, “Of course, Sam, we’re not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Girls have butt sex. I’ve known sluts who bragged about it. You’re not going to try that kinda thing? With Gene?” Alex dared Sam. “Would a drink help?”

“I think so.” Sam frowned. “Would it?”

She was asking me. I almost got to say my piece about not pushing her again. I wanted to say: “It might make it easier to get out of your head, is that what you mean by ‘help’?” I didn’t get a chance before Max fielded this one.

“Please, the only thing we’ve ever done when we drink is complain, leave early, and go to sleep.” Max shrugged.

“I can remember at least one time it was different. The night we met Gene,” Sam said.

“Didn’t we just go to bed?” Max asked. “I distinctly remember not being able to get him out of his chair.”

“No, Sam’s right,” Alex smiled. “I went to bed with two hotties that night.”

The apartment rocked with a burst of wind. I frowned.

Sam looked at the windows. “I’m not going home in that.” She turned to me. “Uh, one drink? Or ... remember when we had rum in those milkshakes? Could we put some in hot chocolate? Is that a drink?”

“I don’t think we’re on butt stuff yet,” I told them. “We don’t have to go fast.”

“Oh, can we though?” Max asked. Alex and Sam looked at her. I didn’t even try to talk that time, figuring one of the other two would dive in with an answer. I was wrong.

“What’s fast, girls?” I asked. I hoped they’d signpost the ways that would hurt them so I could navigate and keep them happy.

“I wanna learn,” Max said.

“I wanna feel,” Alex added.

“I wanna fuck,” Sam competed.

“Yeah!” Unable to one-up each other further, they all nodded in unison.

“Sweet, let’s go,” I said with bravado. I was wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants, and threw those down my legs to get my cock waving in front of them. They all lit up. Alex was in awe of me throwing it out like a starting pistol. Max bit her lower lip and inched her jaw to the left. Sam watched the other two and then lunged over to me before they could.

I figured she was going for a kiss. I raised my hands to take her face but she went low. She was on her knees in front of me in a second. I felt the warmth of her hand and the softness of her cheek surround me. I ran my fingers into her silky hair.

“Alex,” I said looking into Sam’s eyes. “This is a job for two.”

“What? How?” Alex seemed startled.

“Go or I will,” Max declared. The redhead sent her best friend clambering forward. Alex was still mostly on the floor. She slid herself right against Sam’s back and leaned her face over Sam’s shoulder. Sam did her best to face Alex. It wasn’t an easy angle to take.

“Maybe side by side?” Sam suggested.

“Oh! Oo-oh!” Alex eurekaed. That’s a verb now. She crab-walked on her knees over Sam’s calves and I had two beautiful faces looking up at me with my cock hovering between their noses.

“Max, bring over the harness. I’ve got my hands free.” I was stroking thick brown bangs out of Sam’s face.

“Grab me an elastic first!” Sam asked over her shoulder. “And one for Alex. I don’t want to be chewing on blonde hair while I do this.”

“Rule one.” I turned Sam’s face to mine. “No chewing.”

“Rule two.” Max poked Sam in the shoulder. “Please and thank yous.”

“Really?” I smirked at Max.

“May I please have an elastic, oh beautiful redheaded siren?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, please?” Sam added. Max grinned and happily left to get the hairbands. I let rule two stand.

I ran my fingers over the shells of ears, booped noses with the pad of my thumb, ran my dick across lips. Alex and Sam didn’t get started, though, until Max and I had combed back the blonde and brunette’s hair and they were tied off in ponytails. Sam was outfitted first. She attacked me.

“Shit! Uh, thank you.” I spoke for the eager brunette as Sam got going. Max nodded. Sam’s tongue lapped the full length of me. She would run the edge of her teeth across my skin. That sent shocks and shivers up my spine. I almost let go of Alex’s hair before Max could get her ready.

Alex said ‘thank you’ with her mouth full. I wanted to laugh. It only came out as a heavy pant. Max scampered around me and looked down from the side of my shoulder.

“Oh my god! That’s really sexy!” she told me with wide-eyed surprise.

“That’s how it always is with the right women.” I grabbed Max’s head and kissed her hard. “Now, you wanted a hand? So you could look down and see the same thing -- holy fuck! Uh ... see the same thing in a few minutes.”

“I’m not going to feel it like that, so I’ll doubt I’ll get to see Sam look that smug.” Max kissed me again.

Alex was polite and helpful. Sam was greedy and took everything Alex offered. I was dumbstruck. I let the long moaning breaths I was making speak for themselves. Max was wiggling her hips as she pulled up the harness over her thighs. She caught it with her knees and hiked her nightgown up above her hips.

“Hey,” I said, stroking the redhead’s jawline.

“What?” She stopped. I reached down, under the lace and ran my finger up the front of her panties. She was hot. I could feel the wetness. I grinned.

“You’re gonna wanna get rid of these,” I said, or at least something similar as I interrupted myself with an echoey donkey braying because Alex’s lower teeth were zigzagging under the head of my cock.

“Oh crap! Was that OK?” Alex leapt back and tried to look at her handiwork. Sam pressed her advantage and engulfed the length of my cock. I shuddered again. I hope the look on my face was pure unadulterated pleasure. I’m sure it could’ve been mistaken for a stroke.

“Maybe you should push Sam’s head if she’s doing it wrong.” Max stroked Alex’s ponytail as she spoke. The strapon harness was slung around Max’s left ankle as she wiggled, wobbled, and fell into my chest. She managed to get her panties down.