Love, Lust, Betrayal and Consequences

I’ve only seen Robbie a few times since our talk but I hear he’s still doing the international routes. He will probably find some blue eyed blonde European vixen with flawless feet and toes to keep him warm at night. He was going to ask for continental flights before I blew up our marriage so we could reconnect. Shot myself in the foot again. Me? nobody wants to date a 8 months pregnant 45 year old with pretty toes. I lost the only man that was like that through selfishness, lust and stupidity.

I was at work when my water broke. My loyal secretary who helped me get through this disaster took me to the Labor and Delivery. Social Services contacted the prospective parents and 5 hours later, a beautiful blued boy came into the world I was told. I never saw him. He went straight to his adoptive parents for the bonding. Nancy was with me the whole time. What a friend. The birth was uncomplicated and I was discharged the next day. I was in a really nice apartment now. We sold our house and split the proceeds. It was paid for over 24 years so we made out like bandits in this market. While i was moving, I came across the two toe rings Joey gave me. They went in the trash. Robbie still had some anger for a long time and had asked for my rings back when we signed the papers. I put them in his hand, turned and ran out of the building sobbing. I still have every piece of jewelry he ever gave me ... anklets, rings, toe rings, necklaces, bracelets. I will never wear them again for anyone but him. My pedicures are just normal these days with no special polish. Just clear polish. All that was just for him.

I go to work, go home and read usually. I get hit on from time to time especially if I go out with Nancy or coworkers but I turn them all down. My girls are better with me now even though our relationship took a big hit over my betrayal of their father. They visit once in awhile but it’s strained. Consequences are a bitch.

I did see Robbie a few years ago out with Nancy. I was severely pissed. He blew me a little kiss before they walked out. I called her to jump her ass but she reminded me that I threw him away when I got pregnant by another man. He was fair game and will be a catch for any “faithful” woman, emphasizing faithful. I love her but I guess she needed to sting me a little? What could I say? She’s right.

Robbie

It’s been almost four years since those fateful few months and 3 years since the divorce was final. I saw her at both girls graduation but we didn’t talk or sit together. Kind of petty of me I guess, but I still hurt. I miss her so bad some days that functioning is tough.

I got my routes changed to continental so I’m home more now. The overseas flights were getting to me and I blamed them for some of the demise of my marriage. If I had been home more, I might not have driven the love of my life into another man’s arms and bed.

Two more years have passed. I have seen Deanna only in passing a few times in almost 6 years. I got a call from Nancy Flowers the other day asking me to go to a company charity thing with her. I said sure remembering our previous date. I have been on some other dates with some nice ladies over the last several years and even bedded a few but Nancy was a looker and a monster in bed. It had been awhile since I had seen her. She had been Deanna’s best friend but I didn’t know their status now. I’m 51 years old now and still in decent shape. Nancy is 49 now and same age as Deanna. Nancy’s husband Jack, was killed in Iraq about 12 years ago.