Chapter 10

Robbie

I was tired but Deanna and I would talk. I had to know. I walked in the house, she was sitting in our den in the dark with those beautiful feet tucked under her and a box of tissues beside her. I asked if she was alright and started to go to her but she waved me off. Sit down Robbie, we need to talk and when I’m through you will most likely never come near me again. I was stunned. Was she leaving me? Confessing? What? Whatever it is, she’s beat me to the punch.

I sat in my recliner and said ok, Deanna, the floor is yours. She said these words will be just words in a few minutes so please hear me out. Robbie, for 24 years, you have been my dream man, lover, best friend, devoted husband and father. I love you with all my heart and soul, I always will. We have had the best of times together and I have cherished every one of them. I looked at her with big tears in my eyes knowing she is hurting with every word but choices have consequences. Robbie, I have betrayed and disrespected you, our marriage, our girls, myself and everything our vows stood for 24 years. I’ve let you down as a wife, lover and partner. For the past few months I’ve been having an affair with a young coworker. You met him at the hospital that day in the ER. You saw him holding my hand and I think you suspected something then but at that point, that’s all it was. He persisted and pursued me relentlessly over the next few weeks and I had lunch with him a few times. He slowly broke through my defenses. We graduated to some heavy petting but no actual sex at that point but I didn’t stop the touching. I know I should have but again I forgot who and what I am for awhile until it was too late. He has said he loves me and wants me to be his wife. I have told him repeatedly that you are the love of my life and I want to grow old with you. I smiled at that comment ... she didn’t. She said that won’t happen. Robbie, the day I got my cast off and flew to Houston, unknown to me, he had driven down the night before to be with me. One thing led to another and the bottom line is he spent the next 48 hours fucking me senseless. I won’t go into the details because you don’t want to hear them. I stopped her ... and held my hands up ... I went to the bathroom and lost everything in my stomach. She stood over me and tried to help but I pushed her away and said don’t touch me. It’s the first time in all these years I’ve ever said anything like that to her. She fled to the other room as fast as she could limp that way. When I returned, she was just staring ... I said is that all? She said I wish it was ... He looked at me and said AND? Her tears flowed freely now ... she could barely talk ... she said Robbie ... I’m pregnant. During the lust filled sex, I forgot I wasn’t protected since your vasectomy. She was right ... it was the worst. I said how long.? I said I’m little over 2 months along. I said, do you love him? She said I thought I did on some level at the time but I know I don’t now. I said does he know he’s going to be a daddy? She said, not yet. Nancy is the only one who knows. I’ll have a baby bump in a few weeks and everyone will know. I went back to the bathroom with dry heaves ... and broke down. I locked the door and sobbed like a baby. I heard her moving around In the house and came out. She had two suitcases packed by the door. I said where will you go? Nancy said I could stay with her for awhile. I couldn’t resist ... the anger came out. I said, what’s the problem, Baby Daddy won’t let you in. That hurt her to the core. I saw it in her eyes. She said I don’t know, not gonna ask and don’t care. I know it’s too late, but I woke up when I saw the blue lines on that EPT to what a fool I’ve been. I’ve lost everything that mattered in my life. It’s a shame it took letting him put a baby in me to do it.

I said ok ... sit down, my turn to talk. Deanna, I’ve known for awhile about your affair. She seemed surprised. The first sign was the hand holding at the hospital, you saw me and knew I had seen it. She nodded. Then I over heard his phone call a week ago when he called your cell here and then finally your lunch date at the restaurant before I left. The only other person in the diner was me. I saw it all including the parking lot. She gasped and said that was you? She fell to the floor sobbing. Sweetheart, you have destroyed me and a pretty damn good marriage, for what? A big dick and a handful of orgasms. She was rocking back and forth crying so hard that I was afraid for her. I thought maybe we could over come whatever hold he has on you and maybe find our way back to us. But with you having his child growing in your belly changes everything. I can’t stay with you. You know that. There’s no way I can look at you everyday knowing his dick and sperm have been in you. Then watching your belly swell with his child is not even something I can comprehend. I’m leaving Deanna and filing for divorce. I have no other choice.

She looked at me and said Robbie, I know they are meaningless words now but I will love you forever. I wouldn’t disrespect you anymore by asking forgiveness or saying I’m sorry. There is no forgiveness and no return, I know that about you. You are the best man I’ve ever known and some lucky girl will be in your lap flaunting her perfect toes in your face for you to suck before the ink is dry on the divorce. I want you to know I loved that. I hope she is stronger and more faithful than me. I said does he love them too ... your toes? Another direct hit on her heart. The tears came ... non stop. I continued on. Deanna, I watched him finger you in the restaurant then watched you give him a swallowing blow job in the car. BTW ... nice walking cane he gave you. I don’t think I could have beat her down anymore than I have. I will say this, Deanna. Do you plan on marrying him after the divorce? I just want to know because I do not plan to let your baby daddy go unscathed. Mr. Smart took the woman that I worshipped. He will pay. She said, Robbie, if you have any mercy, I will need my job to support myself. I ask you for nothing except that. Please don’t do anything that will get you in trouble because I disrespected and betrayed you. He’s not half the man you are. I interrupted, except for what he’s got between his legs that made you spread your legs so easily. He must be a much better man than I am, right? No, it was just new, exciting and forbidden. Robbie, I couldn’t live with you going to jail or getting hurt. I said so you are keeping the baby? She said I haven’t talked to him yet but my plan is to give it up for adoption soon as it’s born. I looked at her and said ... the girls? She said this is my mess, I will tell them the truth and hope they have some mercy on this fool. I walked over to her, kneeled down crying and kissed the tip of each of her toes and stared at their beauty. He said that this is the last time and I will miss them. One last kiss on the lips and I got up. Looked her in the eye and said Good Bye Angel. I loved you with all I had, i always knew I was out of your league. I wasn’t enough and I walked out of her life.