Dear Jenny,
Dear Martin,

I am certain, that you did not expect to get a letter from me ever again, if you even remember me. This is John and you once knew me as your daddy.

It has been 6 years now, since we last had any contact. Probably you are asking yourself why you got this letter after all this time. I just felt the need to explain my actions to you.

Both of you just finished high school and are ready to head off to college. Martin, I am very sorry that you had to repeat the sophomore year due to illness. But I am happy that you two will be able to support each other at MIT. Yes, I know where both of you are going to go to college. It might be a surprise, but I always kept looking out for you. We may not have been in contact, but I attended many of your sporting events and plays and even your graduation. I love both of you very much and I am very proud of you.

BTT. I am sending you this letter, because you are both adults now. You have a right to know, why I officially abandoned my family. You might note the “officially”. In reality I never left you at all, I just kept in the background without you noticing me. Most of the time I was in disguise as a bum. If you think back over the last years, you might come up with several times, when you had even contact with me in my disguise. Jenny, the homeless guy that prevented your rape, that was actually me.

You might want to know, why I left my family all those years ago and just seemed to disappear. You have a right to know everything. Let me please explain.

Your mother and I had been married for 15 years. Jenny was 12 and Martin was 13. I was as happy as I ever had been with my wife and two bright and beautiful children. We were sitting on our patio with my brother Vincent and his wife Dorothy, watching you kids play in the garden with your two cousins. Vincent informed us, that he wanted to get a vasectomy, because Dorothy did not want to take the pill anymore and they just loathed condoms. Becky jumped right in and asked me to do the same. As I also did not plan to have any more kids, I agreed.

Two weeks later I had the appointment at the clinic for the first examination. God, my groin had never been checked out that thoroughly ever before. I also needed to jack off in a glass for them to have a sample. The next appointment was planned for Wednesday of the next week. I went there and was called into the same room again. The doctor was sitting there and going through some files. I will try to give you the conversation as far as I can remember:

Doc: “Mr. Miller, why do you want to have a vasectomy?”

Me: “We already covered that. My wife and I don’t want more kids.”

Doc: “How many kids do you have?”

Me: “Two”

Doc: “There is no easy way to say this. We have not found any sperm in your semen. None at all. You seem to have a case of Azoospermia. That means that you are infertile. The most common case is post-testicular, in which case the testicle produces sperm, but the tubes are blocked. But there are other possibilities.”

Me: “What other possibilities?”

Doc: “Chemotherapy, physical damage due to an accident, infections or genetic conditions are a few examples. Do you know if any of those might be possible?”

Me: “Not that I know of. If that only leaves the genetic conditions, would that mean that I have never had any sperm for all my life?”

Doc: “Yes. I actually hoped that you had an injury or something like that. We will need to make some further tests to determine, what the actual reason is. I would like to schedule a surgery to check the tubes. It would look like you had a vasectomy. In case of a post-testicular azoospermia, there is a chance of correcting it, giving you the chance to have kids. Em ... this is kind of unofficial advice, but you might think about doing a DNA test for your kids. I’m sorry.”

Me: “It’s not your fault. Thanks for the advice. I already arrived at the same conclusion.”

At that point I was barely able to avoid a breakdown. Over the next few weeks, I had those tests done, including the surgery. My doctor found my tubes had been blocked and it seemed like a birth defect. As we had discussed before, he unblocked them, enabling me to have my own children in the future.

Yes, that means that you are not my biological children. But I suspect, that you already know that. At least I know that you knew a lot earlier than me what your mother was up to.

After the surgery your mother was happy, that I had my tubes tied up. I was happy that I had an excuse to not have sex with her. As soon as I was fit enough to work, I told your mother, that I would actually do that, go back to work I mean. I did not, as I had taken an indefinite sick leave. I left our house, drove a block away, changed cars with a good friend and waited for your mother. It was a dumb plan, as I did not even know if she was still cheating on me. There were so many better ways to do this, but I was not thinking clearly. No matter how dumb my plan was, it worked out.

Your mother left home with you two about 30 minutes later. I followed her in my friend’s car to your uncle Vincent’s house. Initially I was disappointed, as I was sure that she was only visiting Dorothy. Imagine my surprise when only minutes later, Dorothy left the house with all 4 kids. The next surprise was Vincent’s car pulling into the driveway. He walked into the house and my mind was going a mile a minute. The timing of all this was too perfect, too routine.

I got out of the car and walked to the front door. There was no sound to be heard. When I checked the windows, I was not able to see anybody. After that I used my spare key to open the door and slip in, I had a really bad feeling. Inside I went silently looking around the house and finally got to the den. At that moment, I heard the sounds coming from there. Someone was having sex. Everything seemed to go into slow motion. It was surreal. The sounds forced me to go there and look into the room. It was like I had to see it with my own eyes.

When I reached the door and was able to look into the den, my worst fears came true. My own brother had your mother on her hands and knees and was pounding away into her pussy. Seeing them fucking and the way your mother reacted to my brother were breaking my heart, but hearing them talking was what nearly killed me. Standing there, I knew that my life was over. My wife was fucking my brother, my kids were not my own, my sister-in-law was obviously in the know. That day I lost everything that meant anything to me.