Chapter 4: Recovery

Chris wrapped his arms around me, “This is my fault, I’ll sort it.”

I didn’t argue with him. I tried to get the thoughts out of my head, I didn’t want to see or feel any of that. I wanted it to stop. We stayed like that for a few minutes as I cried and tried to keep my mind blank and to ignore the aching of my muscles and my head banging.

Eventually he let me go and we looked deep into each other’s eyes. I blubbed to him, “I’m soo sorry.”

“It’s ok, I’ll go make you breakfast,” and he smiled at me.

I took that as a huge hint of ‘go wash you stinky whore’ and I nodded back, blubbing more.

The hot water washed away all the problems. I started to feel normal almost instantly. Relieved to know that Chris was here for me and he still loved me. It could have been real easy for him to throw me out. For a split second I played that out in my head and all the sex and drugs I could then have without having to worry. But quickly saw my own death at the end of that.

My fingers felt good on my boobs and pussy as I cleaned my body. I kept seeing the video of that nasty woman, that wasn’t me. I had a hard time realising how dangerous that life was. I also had to work hard on my nipples and areola to get them back to normal colour. Remembering the lipstick that woman put on me. I nearly slapped myself when I realised I again liked that memory.

I was quickly dried, standing in front of the mirror when I looked down at the clothes pile. I couldn’t believe I’d worn some of those things. I kicked a few around, not a decent pair of pants or bra in the collection. In fact it was a tiny pile of clothes but had at least 15 items in it. It was all stained and dirty with god knows what. One item even had what looked like blood on it.

My muscles and head were aching again and for the first time I wondered if this was withdrawal of some sort. It hit me, I, Emily Hammer, mother and wife, was in withdrawal.

I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, my nice but plain white underwear reflecting back the woman I knew. But oh god my head hurt and then the picture of me straddling that big strange cock hit me again. I could almost feel his lips on my nipples. I shook my head and caught sight of the little drawer and what I had hidden in it. That couldn’t help me right now could it? I felt my blood rush and my heart pound as I pictured them.

Next thing I knew I was looking at myself in the mirror again but this time I had one pill in my hand and the other two still in the bag in my other hand. I was chastising myself for even thinking it. I looked nearly normal right now.

However I was quickly looking back down at the pill in my hand. It was only one pill, it would help right now wouldn’t it? It would help with the withdrawal. I could get through today easier. But I also wasn’t sure what it was. Why’d I have three in the bag? Who gave them to me and why?

God, my head ached. I made my mind up, I needed a little help. One more wouldn’t harm would it? I smirked, looking at my reflection again, I was proud that those men liked my body. I quickly popped a pill into my mouth and without thinking swallowed it. I felt a rush, somehow I instantly felt better. Very aware that it wouldn’t have started working yet.

Putting the other two back in their hiding place I walked into the bedroom and quickly finished getting dressed. Yes, I could cope with today. I could deal with whatever this was going to be. I stooped to pick up the party clothes from the bathroom and my nostrils filled with the smell of sweat and sex. I should have wretched but instead I felt my pussy betray me and tingle. Again the images of all the fucking and fun rushed through my mind.