Reposted after editing by Rexford Dam.

Further screwing with it by me. As always, all mistakes and Faux Pas are on me.

Description: She told her I was boring, and she needed some excitement

I am Carl Langstin, I was 41 and was married for 15 years when the following story took place.

I am an electronics specialist. I do some installs, but I am mostly a troubleshooting and repair guy. I got lucky with some software I wrote, and some gadgets I patented so I am set for the money, but much too young to retire, I fell into this opportunity to buy the company that I was working at. I am a silent owner and have a CEO and CFO who are sworn to secrecy. So even my wife did not know about that. I had been owner of the business for 8 years when I heard about a device that would allow your home computer to be your answering machine. As a troubleshooter I had to test it so I set it up at my house on my home phone. I found the device had a bug that actually worked to my advantage.

I met Linda after I got out of the Army. I was a communications specialist and was injured in an attack while I was working with a communications team outside of Kirkuk in Iraq.

Linda is a year and a little younger then I am, she is tall (5’ 8-1/2”) and I swear it is almost all legs. She is also very beautiful with an upside-down teardrop-shaped face. She is of Polish, Ukrainian, and Miami Indian descent. She has the most beautiful blue-green eyes and high Indian type cheeks. As I have described she is an exotic knockout.

She was 22 when I met her, fresh out of college, and trying to get out on her own. I did not know it at the time I met her, but she was not only a virgin; but had only been on a couple of dates and; had not had a serious boyfriend since her junior year at the local Catholic High School.

We met at a recruiting seminar that was held locally. The company I was investigating was looking for the head of their communications department and had asked me to come back in 45 minutes to talk to their president as the position was considered one of management.

I went to get something to eat at the food booth and Linda was in front of me. When she ordered I could see that it was way more then she could carry, so I offered to help her if she would wait for my order. She did, and I carried the things back to the table she was sharing with two other young ladies. She thanked me and asked if I would join them.

I agreed and we sat and talked until I had to leave for my appointment. I got Linda’s phone number and said I would call her that evening to find out how her job hunt went (and if you believe that, I have some oceanfront property in Montana to sell you. Job hunting was not on my mind).

After talking to the man about his position, something seemed off about the job. The duties he described were more like industrial espionage then communications. I declined, and three months later that company imploded when they tried to sell some trade secrets from a Fortune 500 company in the aerospace industry. The man I talked to was convicted and spent some time in club fed. I found a different company later that day and was hired to just streamline and run their communications and networks.

That evening I called Linda, and she was surprised and pleased I called because as she said; “A lot of the jerks that say they will call were put off by some signals I must be sending out”.

I said that the only signals that I saw were that she was not interested in a short term relationship. I said that while I was not really smooth or accomplished, I was never after any short term gigs. I asked how her job search went, and she said she had three good possibilities. I told her that I was hired by a company and would start in three weeks. I asked if she was free for coffee the next day and she agreed.

We met and I told her about my upcoming job and how I had just sold a piece of software, as well as received patents for my gadgets. I was bragging some, but I was proud of my babies as I called my accomplishments.

I asked about her possibilities and found out that she had interviewed with the shady company, but did not get a negative vibe about them. She also interviewed at two local banks, one was for a trust officer to handle two charitable trusts and the other was for a loan officer in their commercial loan department. She said she really wanted the trust position and luckily she got it.

We dated for a year and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We were married a year later, but in between, we ran into a few minor problems.

I am a person who takes my word as a bond, and someone at the bank talked Linda into insisting on a pre-nuptial agreement. She had been told to protect herself in case of my adultery. I blew my stack. I screamed and ranted about her lack of trust, and said, in a very loud voice; “Fine write your God Damned paper, but I will get my attorney to write one also, and we will decide between us who’s is most fair. And I will not sign a prenup that allows you to have any of my business interests or income from my pre-marriage inventions or software products.”

She started crying and I just left. A week later I got a knock on my apartment door and she was standing there and handed me an envelope and my engagement ring. The envelope contained the suggested prenup and a note that was short and very hard for me to read. It said:

...

...

I put the note aside and looked at the prenup. While I did not understand all of the legalese, I could see it really did protect her, but if we were to get a divorce, I would take it in the ass. I was furious.

The next day, I called my lawyer and went to him with the prenup. I told him I wanted him to write two prenups up. I wanted the first one to be as one-sided as the one she gave me and the other to protect both my pre-marital assets and her trust fund, I told him to be fair, but to include a death penalty of all post-nuptials joint assets if there is adultery on either side. I explained that I would show her the unfair one and after she got done ranting I would tell her I would sign the fair one.

I got the papers about 3 days later and laughed at the unfair one, it just screamed ‘I don’t trust you, so you will be screwed if we divorce’. I thought the fair one was OK, but I still did not like it. Because of the way Linda acted when she gave me the note and papers, I thought turn about was fair play. I wrote her this note:

...

...

A couple of days later I received a screaming phone call from Linda and I just let her rant about what a selfish bastard I was and I could go to hell before she would sign that she said it was so bad she wouldn’t wrap garbage in it.

I starting laughing and she started crying. I waited until she calmed down and said, “Now you know how I felt. If you want a prenup so damn bad, I have one you can give to your lawyer or advisor to look at and we can use it as a start. Be very aware that your lack of trust caused me to insist on an adultery penalty for either side. Do we go on or do I ‘eat shit and die’?”

Linda started laughing and said, “You would probably ask for horseradish as a seasoning you prick, If I didn’t love you so much I would come over there and kick your ass. Send me a copy and we can see how it goes. I love you.” And she hung the phone up.

Her lawyer agreed with almost everything but added a clause for spousal maintenance of $10,000 a year for the non-requesting spouse. I agreed to that and she got the ring back

We were married; and I switched jobs to head repairer and troubleshooter in the company until the purchase opportunity came up. That was after we had been married for about 6 years. I worked hard and while I am not a great romantic nor a ‘culture vulture’, I bought flowers for her ‘just because’ and took her to concerts and plays. We also went dancing and once or twice a year we went bar hopping. I found I liked alcohol way too much, and quit drinking. I still did all of the other stuff and didn’t stop Linda from having a drink even at the house. On our vacations and long weekends we took trips all over the country. Life seemed good and Linda did not seem to complain so I thought all was well.

Our sex life was pretty much an equal exploration. I had only been sexually active with two girls in high school, and they were in missionary or reverse cowgirl only. Linda was a virgin and was very sexually curious. We found some sexual position books and used them is our explorations. Linda loves 69 and always swallowed. I loved to get her off with my tongue. She loved cowgirl and sitting on my lap face to face or front to back. She really loved sex under the stars and in a car. It was funny because I got a minivan and had it modified as soon as they came out. Somehow, we never managed to have children and we did not talk about having them.

As in all relationships, the sex slowed down as time went on and we went from almost every night to two or three times a week. I was happy and had nothing to complain about until about 6 months before I heard the phone call. That was when Linda seemed to lose interest in sex of any kind. It took me a couple of months to realize that the only times we were making love was when I noted the time since the last time. Sometimes even then they were ‘mercy fucks’, and Linda was like a dead fish.

I had gotten this answering machine gadget and had a spare computer sitting around so I hooked it up to test it. I found the bug about 6 weeks after installing it. After 5 or 6 calls in any 24 hour period, the device would start recording as soon as the phone was answered. Of course this tended to suck up hard drive space, so about once a week I would print a list of the phone numbers and length of calls and delete the recordings to clear hard drive space. I had been doing this for about a month when I notice a lot of 30- to 45-minute calls from two different numbers. One of the numbers was from Linda’s sister, and the other was unknown.

The calls were always from after Linda got home and before I did 90 minutes or so later. There were other calls from the same number, but if the phone wasn’t answered, they hung up before they were asked to leave a message. I started saving those calls to a CD and kept them to listen to at a later time.

After a particularly hard week, I took a 5 day weekend and started listening to these calls. Most of the ones to Linda’s sister were just gossip and mundane stuff. The calls started to get more into their respective sex lives about the time my sex life went in the crapper. On one of the calls to Linda’s sister Linda admitted to fantasizing about taking a lover. That call was followed by more and more calls. Her sister would say that Linda was so lucky to have a man like me who was turned on by her. Linda said back; “I don’t know, Carl has become so boring. We don’t do any sexually exciting things anymore. I think now that Jack is starting to sniff around at work I may see if teasing him will spice my life up.”