A Boring Man

by oldgrump

Copyright© 2018 by oldgrump

Drama Story: She told her I was boring, and she needed some excitement

Tags: Ma/Fa   Fiction   Cheating   Revenge  

Reposted after editing by Rexford Dam

Further screwing with it by me. As always, all mistakes and Faux Pas are mine.

Hi; I am Carl Langstin, I was 41 and was married for 15 years when the following story took place.

I am an electronics specialist. I do some installs, but I am mostly a troubleshooting and repair guy. I got lucky with some software I wrote, and some gadgets I patented so I am set for money, but much too young to retire, I fell into this opportunity to buy the company that I was working at. I am a silent owner and have a CEO and CFO who are sworn to secrecy. So even my wife did not know about that I had been owner of the business for 8 years when I heard about a device that would allow your home computer to be your answering machine. As a troubleshooter I had to test it so I set it up at my house on my home phone. I found the device had a bug and that worked to my advantage.

I met Linda after I got out of the Army. I was a communications specialist, and was injured in and attack while I was working with a communications team outside of Kirkuk in Iraq.

Linda is a year and change younger then I am, she is tall (5’ 8-1/2”) and I swear it is almost all legs. She is also very beautiful with an upside down teardrop shaped face. She is of Polish, Ukrainian, and Miami Indian descent. She has the most beautiful blue-green eyes and high Indian type cheeks. As I have described she is an exotic knockout.

She was 22 when I met her, fresh out of college, and trying to get out on her own. I did not know it at the time I met her, but she was not only a virgin; but had only been on a couple of dates and; had not had a serious boyfriend since her junior year at the local Catholic High School.

We met at a recruiting seminar that was held locally. The company I was investigating was looking for a head of their communications department and had asked me to come back in 45 minutes to talk to their president as the position was considered one of management.

I went to get something to eat at the food booth and Linda was in front of me. When she ordered I could see that it was way more then she could carry, so I offered to help her if she would wait for my order. She did, and I carried the things back to the table she was sharing with two other young ladies. She thanked me and asked if I would join them.

I agreed and we sat and talked until I had to leave for my appointment. I got Linda’s phone number and said I would call her that evening to find out how her job hunt went (and if you believe that, I have some ocean front property in Montana to sell you).

After talking to the man about his position, something seemed off about the job. The duties he described were more like industrial espionage than communications. I declined, and three months later that company imploded when they tried to sell some trade secrets from a fortune 500 company in the aerospace industry. The man I talked to was convicted and spent some time in club fed. I found a different company later that day and was hired to just streamline and run their communications and networks.

That evening I called Linda, and she was surprised and pleased I called because as she said; “A lot of the jerks that say they will call were put off by some signals I must be sending out”.

I said that the only signals that I saw were that she was not interested in a short term relationship. I said that while I was not real smooth or accomplished, I was never after any short term gigs. I asked how her job search went, and she said she had three good possibilities. I told her that I was hired by a company and would start in three weeks. I asked if she was free for coffee the next day and she agreed.

We met and I told her about my upcoming job and how I had just sold a piece of software, as well as received patents for my gadgets. I was bragging some, but I was proud of my babies as I called my accomplishments.

I asked about her possibilities and found out that she had interviewed with the shady company, but did not get a negative vibe about them. She also interviewed at two local banks, one was for a trust officer to handle two charitable trusts and the other was for a loan officer in their commercial loan department. She said she really wanted the trust position and luckily she got it.

We dated for a year and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We were married a year later, but in between we ran into a few minor problems.

I am a person who takes my word as bond, and someone at the bank talked Linda into insisting on a pre-nuptial agreement. She had been told to protect herself in case of my adultery. I blew my stack. I screamed and ranted about her lack of trust, and said, in a very loud voice; “Fine write your God Damned paper, but I will get my attorney to write one also, and we will decide between us who’s is most fair. And I will not sign a pre-nup that allows you to have any of my business interests or income from my pre marriage inventions or software products.”

She started crying and I just left. A week later I got a knock on my apartment door and she was standing there and handed an envelope and my engagement ring. The envelope contained the suggested pre-nup and a note that was short and very hard for me to read. It said:


I haven’t told you everything about me. I have a trust fund that while, not huge is a lot for me. I will receive it when I turn 25 or get married, whichever is first.

The person I work with, his name is Jack Sampson, at the bank and the one who suggested the pre-nup is the administrator of my trust. I was told the pre-nup was to protect me. It is not a question of trust. I love you, and want to marry you. I know in my heart you would not hurt me, but my mind says that I must protect myself.

I am returning the engagement ring until you either sign the pre-nup, suggest one of your own for negotiation or call me and tell me to ‘eat shit and die’

I again say to you I love you and find that this is making me very sad. Please decide quickly

Love with all my heart and soul;


I put the note aside, and looked at the pre-nup. While I did not understand all of the legalese, I could see it really did protect her, but if we were to get a divorce, I would take it in the ass. I was furious.

The next day, I called my lawyer, and went to him with the pre-nup. I told him I wanted him to write two pre-nups up. I wanted the first one to be as one sided as the one she gave me and the other to protect both my pre-marital assets and her trust fund, I told him to be fair, but to include a death penalty of all post nuptials joint assets if there is adultery on either side. I explained that I would show her the unfair one and after she got done ranting I would tell her I would sign the fair one.

I got the papers about 3 days later, and laughed at the unfair one, it just screamed ‘I don’t trust you, so you will be screwed if we divorce’. I thought the fair one was OK, but I still did not like it. Because of the way Linda acted when she gave me the note and papers, I thought turn about was fair play. I wrote her this note:


I won’t tell you to ‘eat shit and die’, but here is a pre-nup my lawyer wrote to protect me. I must tell you it is as one sided as the one you gave me. That one I used to start a fire in the back yard for a couple of the neighbor’s boys who were camping out.

Your words and actions show me how little you trust me and so if you want to marry me you need to sign my pre-nup, let me know you want to negotiate a fair pre-nup, or ‘eat shit and die’.

I love you and want to marry you, but I will not be mistrusted until I show you I can’t be trusted. You can have the ring back easily, all you need to do is show you trust me. I do not like the pre-nup idea, but will sign a fair one.

If I don’t hear from you before I start my job. I will move on, otherwise the ring is still here when you want to claim it.

I do love you,


A couple of days later I received a screaming phone call from Linda and I just let her rant about what a selfish bastard I was and I could go to hell before she would sign that she said it was so bad she wouldn’t wrap garbage in it.

I starting laughing and she started crying. I waited until she calmed down and said, “Now you know how I felt. If you want a pre-nup so damn bad, I have one you can give to your lawyer or advisor to look at and we can use it as a start. Be very aware that your lack of trust caused me to insist on an adultery penalty for either side. Do we go on or do I ‘eat shit and die’?”

Linda started laughing and said, “You probably would ask for horseradish as a seasoning you prick, if I didn’t love you so much I would come over there and kick your ass. Send me a copy and we can see how it goes. I love you.” And she hung the phone up.

Her lawyer agreed with almost everything but added a clause for spousal maintenance of $10,000 a year for the non-requesting spouse. I agreed to that and she got the ring back

We were married and I switched jobs to head repairer and troubleshooter in the company until the purchase opportunity came up. That was after we had been married for about 6 years. I worked hard and while I am neither a great romantic nor a ‘culture vulture’, I bought flowers for her ‘just because’ and took her to concerts and plays. We also went dancing and once or twice a year we went bar hopping. I found I liked alcohol way too much, and quit drinking. I still did all of the other stuff and didn’t stop Linda from have a drink even at the house. On our vacations and long weekends we took trips all over the country. Life seemed good and Linda did not seem to complain so I thought all was well.

Our sex life was pretty much an equal exploration. I had only been sexually active with two girls in high school, and they were missionary or reverse cowgirl only. Linda was a virgin and was very sexually curious. We found some sexual position books and used them is our explorations. Linda loved 69, swallowed and I loved to get her off with my tongue. She loved cowgirl and sitting on my lap face to face or front to back. She really loved sex under the stars and in a car. It was funny because I got a minivan and had it modified as soon as they came out. Somehow, we never managed to have children and we did not talk about having them.

As in all relationships, the sex slowed down as time went on and we went from almost every night to two or three times a week. I was happy and had nothing to complain about until about 6 months before I heard the phone call. That was when Linda seemed to lose interest in sex of any kind. It took me a couple of months to realize that the only times we were making love was when I noted the time since the last time. Sometimes even then they were ‘mercy fucks’, and Linda was like a dead fish.

I had gotten this answering machine gadget and had a spare computer setting around so I hooked it up to test it. I found the bug about 6 weeks after installing it. After 5 or 6 calls in any 24 hour period, the device would start recording as soon as the phone was answered. Of course this tended to suck up hard drive space, so about once a week I would print a list of the phone numbers and length of calls and delete the recordings to clear hard drive space. I had been doing this for about a month, when I notice a lot of 30 to 45 minute calls from two different numbers. One of the numbers was from Linda’s sister, and the other was unknown.

The calls were always from after Linda got home and before I did 90 minutes or so later. There were other calls from the same number, but if the phone wasn’t answered, they hung up before there would be a message left. I started saving those calls to a CD and kept them to listen to at a later time.

After a particularly hard week, I took a 5 day weekend and started listening to these calls. Most of the ones to Linda’s sister were just gossip, and mundane stuff. The calls stated to get more into their respective sex lives about the time my sex life went in the crapper. On one of the calls Linda’s sister admitted to fantasizing about taking a lover. That call was followed by more and more calls about how Linda was so lucky to have a man like me who was turned on by her. Linda said back; “I don’t know, Carl has become so boring. We don’t do any exciting things anymore. I think now that Jack is starting to sniff around at work I may see if teasing him will spice my life up.”

I was furious, but so far it was all fantasy. I listened to a few more, and about 4 weeks later the unknown number calls started, I listened to the first one and it seemed innocent; it was Jack, and he just wanted to confirm a luncheon with all of the trust officers. They also talked about other work topics. It wasn’t until the next week that Jack called and dropped the bomb. He started out with more work stuff, and then said; “The trust officer luncheon was a bust, but you were sure a lot of fun afterwards. I did not know you had a birthmark there.”

Now I was extremely angry, because Linda has a birthmark on the inside of her left breast that can only be seen when her tits are bare. Even the most immodest bikini covers it.

Then the next time I got a ‘mercy fuck’ I got a surprise because Linda wanted the lights out and did not want me to go down on her. Both of these were strange actions because the only time we had ever made love in the dark was when we were in the car or outdoors. And the only time Linda did not want me to eat her was when she was on periods. I knew she wasn’t on her period, because it was the week before. I did not know what to think about the lights, so I just stopped and asked what was wrong. Linda said “nothing is wrong, I just want the lights out and I’m not in the mood for oral.”

Well, by then I had lost my erection, and my temper and said; “‘Jezz Louise’ now, you’re not only cutting down on frequency, your cutting down on positions. No thank you, I’ll sleep in my office. That way you can have the dark.” I then went and got some bedding and pillows and slept on the day bed in the office.

Linda got up with me in the morning with red swollen eyes and said she was sorry. I didn’t let her off that easy.

“If you value our marriage, you need to understand something. ‘Forsaking all others’ is not just some simple, flowery wedding thing. They are called vows because they are just that. If you ever cheat on me in word or deed, our marriage is over”

Linda’s face got white as a sheet and she ran crying from the room and I heard the master bathroom door slam shut. I left for work.

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