Chapter 6: Shopping For Clothes

“Now,” he continued, “Your hours are whatever they need to be, and you decide that. Your pay is ten per cent over the government approved Living Wage with a minimum of 20 hours a week payable. That should help a lot, especially as you can get one good meal a day here and I’ll throw in a season ticket from Greenacres to here on the bus. I will provide the necessary protective clothes, like aprons, gloves and so forth.”

“That’s very generous. I accept,” said Wendy, “but one good meal a day here? How do I do that?”

“Well you will be here most days I expect and when it gets round to lunch time you simply make a decent meal from whatever is in the larder. I usually have a reasonable amount in. Certainly there is always meat of some kind, eggs, vegetables and basic ingredients like flour, sugar, butter, lard and so forth. Often there is a meal ready cooked as I hate cooking for one, so I do at least two portions and then use the rest the next day or two. Go and have a look.”

Obediently, David noticed, she went to look and then came back nodding her head. “There’s certainly plenty there. Don’t you have to throw away a good deal when it gets past its ‘best-before’ date?”

“No. I don’t throw anything away. If the ‘use by’ date means anything I drop it off a couple of days before at the night shelter where they make meals for the homeless and can use almost anything. If the ‘use by’ date is meaningless, like say,” he paused thinking for a moment, “honey, which keeps for ever, I just ignore the age. OK, the honey will, over time, invert but it doesn’t go bad.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but what do you mean ‘invert’?”

“It goes from runny to cloudy. That’s called ‘inverting’ in the case of honey. If you want to do it quickly you add a tiny amount of cream of tartar to the honey; if you want to reverse it you just very gently heat the honey indirectly, like by putting the jar in a pan of warm water.”

“Oh. I knew there was runny or cloudy honey and I knew that bees made them, but I didn’t know they were actually the same stuff. Are you a food chemist then?”

David laughed aloud, “No. My father kept bees, that’s how I know about honey. However,” a certain sternness crept into his voice, “whenever I give a little talk like that one I don’t expect to have to repeat it. From time to time there will be an exam on what I have taught you.”

Wendy was momentarily frightened by the tone of voice until she realised that he had a wicked grin on his face.

The following Tuesday, when they went to Best’s together by arrangement for the first time to shop for food, David steered Wendy into the section where household goods were sold.

“Why are we here?” she asked.

“To kit my new housekeeper in an appropriate uniform,” he replied, looking at a sweater with OH WHAT FUN printed on the front.

Wendy was horrified at the thought of wearing it, but then he moved on to something even worse – a lace-trimmed net beach dress. His next look was at bright yellow high visibility wear for motor-cyclists. Finally he settled on a sensible overall which was actually advertised as for laboratory or school wear.

“Don’t you think this would be a good idea for housework and round the kitchen, to protect your own clothes?” he asked and Wendy had to admit it might well be a good idea.

“Good girl,” he said and she felt proud that he seemed pleased with her, “what size are you?”

“In here I don’t know,” she replied, “Sometimes I’m a 12 or even a 14, but in one shop I was a 10. There doesn’t seem to be a standard size scheme any more.”

“Just try them on until you find one that fits then,” he ordered.

When she had found which fitted her he took one of each of the three colours they had, white, beige and sky blue, and proceeded to the cash desk.

“Wait,” she protested “Why do I need three?”

“Because I say so,” was his immediate response, but when that seemed to bewilder her he added, “One to wash, one to wear, and one for spare in case of accidents.” His tone brooked no reply. His purchase of rubber gloves was justified by pointing out that his hands were much larger than hers, so his would be no use to her.

“Did you notice anything else we needed?” he asked, “Do I need a whip to keep you working hard for instance?”