Chapter 9

“And in other news, the inauguration of new French President Marine Le Pen was marked by continued riots in large parts of Paris. France’s first female President is notorious for her nativist and xenophobic rhetoric, of course, and large sectors of the Parisian suburbs, heavily populated by North African and Middle Eastern immigrants, have broken out into civil disturbances.

“The most recent French presidential election, of course, coincided with the advent of the Mayhem, and the previous coalition’s failure to adequately address the consequent fertility issues linked to the Mayhem all but ensured its defeat by Madame Le Pen and her National Front party,” the newscaster with her distinctly French-Canadian accent tried to fight her discomfort over the recent takeover of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation by the Commissar of Information.

“Why not just call the Mayhem what it is ... a series of plagues including mass male sterility, zombie outbreaks, widespread insanity and hysteria, spikes in massacres, terrorism, solar EMP strikes, climate change, mass extinction, acid rain, fading coral reefs, weakened supply chains, several incidents of spontaneous human combustion, spikes in suicide rates, and general mental illness?

“The Mayhem is mankind in the grip of a collective death spiral! And that’s not counting the physiological ailments ... well, other than the mass male sterility and increased impotence in some quarters. It’s likely caused by environmental crises, that’s all. The worst global health crisis in recorded human history, with severe psychological, sociological, and physiological consequences, that’s the Mayhem,” Deputy Commissar William Hepburn smirked.

He found it odd that people had trouble acknowledging just how comprehensively destructive the Mayhem truly was.

“Or just Darwin waking up from his nap,” his wife Clarissa scoffed.

“That’s a distinct possibility,” Annette Chambers, their new lover, agreed with the missus.

“And Gaia ... Mother Nature, striking back,” William noted.

“Es verdad! Nothing but truth there,” his wife acknowledged.

“Marine Le Pen ... did anyone ever expect her to WIN this most recent round of elections? Last time, she lost to President Emmanuel Macron pretty handily,” Annette commented on the upset victory by the far-right French politician.

“It was pretty unlikely in the past, sure ... but the Mayhem cinched the election for her. That and the incompetence of the previous President and government, you know. Remember the Yellow Vests? Enough said. Maybe he should have spent less time instituting the Swedish Model regarding sex work and cracking down on wolf whistles, more time improving the everyday conditions of regular French folks.

“That’s just this man’s opinion, but this man happens to be Deputy Commissar of the Law Courts, so, well, it means something, doesn’t it?” William asserted, feeling nothing but scorn for Macron and his efforts at making neoliberalism so palatable toward the end of his term.

The truth was the centrist, neoliberal approach appealed to very few. It was the ideology of a small clique of jaded elites with just enough social justice and progress on their agenda to pat themselves on the back as “enlightened” and “progressive.” It was still better in marginal ways than the far-right social conservatives, but try convincing ordinary folks of that when neither system permitted anyone to grasp the rungs of the ladder on the middle tier of the class structure. This sort of problem was so exacerbated by the Mayhem that the cracks in the edifice led to the collapse of the old social, economic, and political order.

Democracy was dead, of course, and it was unlikely to make any kind of return, politically speaking. Between the various social injustices, ecological crises that lacked any political will to resolve them, bureaucratic inertia, and the widespread panic that threatened to put zealots in command of society, democracy was the god that failed. Most Western democracies had become failed states in a hurry, joining the Third World countries that had been there for a long time.

It could have been worse ... they could have fallen into chaos and anarchy like much of the world. Instead, Leviathan had arrived, not a moment too soon. No one knew his name. They knew that he was a man, not a woman. They had seen his face, after all. All records that might indicate his past were mysteriously absent, as if he simply burst into existence ex nihilo on the day of the Mayhem at dawn. It was known that he had been rather ruthless, especially at first, but so be it.

His old name didn’t exist and didn’t matter. He was Leviathan, as much a title and office as a name, like Caesar or Pharaoh. He had taken civilization in hand and brought the enemies of sanity, the zealots, the fanatics, malcontents, the prudes, the prigs, the bigots, the haters, etc. to heel. Less than a year into his reign and he was already a living legend, the indispensable man. There was talk of the “Antichrist,” “Man of Sin,” and William’s personal favorite, “The Beast.”

Duh, William thought, a leviathan was a mythical beast, after all, like behemoth or the Minotaur. He hadn’t made his subjects worship an image or take a mark in their right hands or foreheads, so that was clearly the evangelical rump grasping at straws against their powerful new secular adversary. They didn’t much care for a leader who now severely restricted childhood religious instruction, taxed most churches, imposed tough new regulations that demanded a lot of charity to justify tax-exempt status, and banned political speech from the pulpits. Even questionnaires such as the Christian Coalition once used were prohibited.

“Earth to William, honey ... what do you want for dessert? Other than the whipped cream bikinis that Annette and I already have in mind, that is,” Clarissa licked her lips before kissing her hubby very hard on the mouth.

“I’m just glad that you decided to forgo the rest of the dating mess and move in with me, Annette. You’ve already been a godsend to Clarissa and me, trust me. I know that I’ve said this already, babe, but welcome to the family,” William recovered quickly, with the help of his honest feelings toward his new girlfriend ... no, THEIR new girlfriend, as Annette belonged as much to Clarissa as to him.

“Yes, well, on that note ... I got some news of my own for you guys. I’m ... pregnant. And I think that it’s pretty clear who Daddy is, because my only other lover lately has been ... Clarissa. I’m pretty sure that she lacks the equipment to impregnate me, honey,” Annette winked at both of them.

“Quite true! Yes! One more bundle of joy to add to the family! Great news, hon!” Clarissa, already knocked-up now herself, was more than happy for Annette.

“Well, I would celebrate with champagne, but I understand if that’s not ... permissible, medically speaking. So, here goes ... let’s break out the sparkling cider!” William chuckled while taking a few pics on his cell of his beloved, pregnant ladies.

Damn ... he had already fallen in love with Annette ... how had she charmed him that fast? All that he knew was that he would never give either woman up. It might not be his parents’ concept of commitment, not being monogamous and all, but he was very committed to stay with his two ladies ... forever.

Not a bad assignment ... now he just had to convince the higher-ups to permit polygamy or something along those lines, right? He was in charge of revising family and marriage laws, was he not? Why not introduce a major social reform that would untangle so many knots and let him tie a very different kind?