After recovering from the hate mail and death threats generated by my last submission, I decided to let my “wise-ass” sub-identity (that is a ranking comment folks, such as “primary-identity”, “dragon-identity”, ““wise-ass identity” ... NOT that the identity is sub as in submissive) out for a spin around the block.

When a body meets a body while chugging down a rye ... sung to the old Irish (Scottish?) tune “Gin a body meet a body, Comin’ through the rye”

OK people, listen up ... there was a cop show back in the mid 70s called “Baretta” about a street wise detective who had a pet cockatoo ... that is a BIRD people ... NOT a wimp assed freak who wants to “share his wife” or a poor shmuck who has a knife through his heart whether he knows it or not ... anyway, the guy with the pet bird had a tag line “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time,” or something similar. The point he was making was that if you did a crime, you were going to jail. Oooooooooooh I’m sooooooooooo scared!

Janet was in High School when I moved in next door. Actually, I did NOT move in, my parents did. I was in the Navy at the time they moved, but I did come home when I got out of service. Janet was a bit over 5’6” and about 135 pounds. She had brown hair, brown eyes, perfect lips, shapely legs, a tight ass and a 36c-24-36 figure. Ok, OK ... I was an ex-squid horn dog. But she was HOT!

I became her white knight a few days after getting home when she had an accident with her Dad’s riding mower. The bandana she had in the back pocket of her shorts (ahhhh, her shorts... ) got sucked up into the recoil starter on the engine. The engine stalled and she was sure she had broken the mower. TADADADA! In comes the gallant knight with his trusty ratchet wrench to the rescue! After removing the rope pull and unwinding the bandana from the crankshaft, I reassembled the starter, yanked the cord and voilà ... good as new. Can you say, “HERO!”

I was 4 years older than Janet and had a really hard uphill battle getting her parents to accept me. Oh ya ... me ... Stanislaus Strangski ... what? You did not just ask me if it’s Polish did you?! Geeez not P.C. people ... not P.C. at all ... I am disappointed in all of you. Anyway, I’m a touch over 6-feet tall, 190 pounds, blonde hair and blue eyes. I was an Engineman (EN) in the Navy so I got a job at the local Caterpillar Dealer as a mechanic. Anyway ... back to her folks. Her mom was OK ... just a little too June Cleaver if you know what I mean. Her dad however was a real piece of work. He did everything out of the “So, you’re thinking about dating my daughter” handbook ... including cleaning a shotgun on the kitchen table one night when I brought Janet home.

It came to a head two years after Janet got out of HS. One night I took her out to eat at Dinosaur’s Ribs and just as they brought out dessert, did the take-a-knee bit and asked her to marry me. She hopped up and down, squealing and crying at the same time but did manage to say, “Yes.” When we got her home, she called her folks into the kitchen to show off her new ring. Mom was all smiles and tears. Dad shook my hand and whispered “If you ever hurt my little girl ... remember I have 40 acres out here ... and a shovel.” I looked him back in the eye and said “If I ever hurt Janet ... I will help you did the hole.” With that, he smiled and hit me on the shoulder. “Good answer, boy.”

The wedding was small and emotional; small because neither one of us had much in the line of family. Emotional because we had written our own vows and well let’s just say, there was not a dry eye in the house by the time the Preacher said that I could kiss my bride.

Janet had gotten a job as a shipping clerk for the local warehouse of one of those big “on line catalog stores” when she got out of High School and they were now paying a bit towards her getting an Associate’s Degree in bookkeeping. I was moving up at the Cat Dealer and was now one of the senior “wrench turners.” We bought a small starter home, using up the last of my saved Navy pay. It was worth it though. It was in an older neighborhood just north of old downtown Raccoon City. Life was great (how many times have you heard THAT line?). No, seriously, it was. Janet and I had a home, our jobs and each other.

Then there was the fly in the ointment; isn’t there always! Janet started to socialize with some of the girls from work (OK, OK ... women from work). Most of them were older than Janet and I thought that was a good thing. They could be big sisters to her, if not like young aunts. What I did not realize was the age difference was such that while Janet was still “newlywed,” the others were approaching the “seven-year itch” stage. Everyone out there can see where this is going. But me, at that time, was clueless and in love.

How did I get my first clue? Good question. Janet knew I was going to be working late on a Thursday, which usually meant that I would not be home until 10:30 – 11:00. She casually told me that she was going to go over to her friend Betty’s for a “girls’ night in” with the group that evening. No biggy so I let it slide in one ear and out the other. OH COME ON! Any married guy who says that he LISTENS to every single thing his wife says is just plain lying. Anyway, along comes Thursday and we’re working along until 6 when we take a dinner break. We’re sitting around bull-shitting a bit before going back to work when in comes the Service Manager. He tells us the client who was pushing hard for the D-9 we were rebuilding had called with a change of plans so he wasn’t going to pay us overtime to work on a non-rush job. Did I hear, “get the hell out of here?”

Ten minutes later I was on my way home and thirty minutes after that I was shit, showered and shaved. I hopped in my car and was driving over to Betty’s. Worst case was I would sit with the girls and enjoy a visit with them. Best case was I would take Janet out for a drink and some dancing and maybe a little whoopee before bed. I was stoked!

Too bad Janet was not where she was supposed to be ... at her friend Betty’s house. I was walking up to Betty’s front door and was sorta wondering why the lights were off at only 7:30 at night and where were all the girls’ cars? I rang the bell and an obviously just woke up Betty answered the door after the fourth ring. Betty was looking at me like, “What the fuck are you doing here?” and I was looking at her like, “What the fuck is going on here, where is Janet?” After explaining to her why I was there, she looked sorta shook up and fumbled around before saying that her shift at work got changed at the last minute so Janet and the others decided to go for a quiet drink rather than simply cancel the night. She told me the name of where they were and said good night as she closed the door. I have to admit that she did not look happy. I knew the bar and it was way on the other side of town. It seemed strange that Janet and her friends would pick a spot way over there when there were a couple of nicer places just around the corner from Betty’s.

So anyway, I drove over to the bar and found Janet with only two other friends sitting quietly at table by themselves. They were chatting away about nothing. Everything looked OK except for a few things. First Janet and the girls did not seem awfully surprised to see me there. Yes, they acted it, but their faces looked more relieved than “Wow, what are you doing here?” Second, although they were sitting at a single table, there were only three chairs there but at the table next to them where five chairs; almost like they had separated the tables real quick and forgot to reset the chairs correctly. And finally, the biggest thing that got my radar up and running was that Janet was NOT wearing makeup. The other two were made up nicely, not too slutty, but more than a bit of mascara and lip gloss. Janet, however was not wearing anything. In fact, her face looked freshly scrubbed! Now you single guys are saying so what, but any married man will tell you that when a wife goes out with her girl posse, they all wear the war paint. It is not really a competition but it is. They all look at each other and make judgements and then later, when they meet the next time, savage whoever isn’t there. It’s a girl thing but I have NEVER known Janet to go out without something on. This whole thing looked like a quickly staged event. Almost like Betty had sent me to a place that was far enough away that during my drive time, she could call and warn Janet. Janet could then get cleaned up and get the stage set for my appearance. Yup that’s my role in this piece ... the dumb, clueless husband.

Ok, I know all of you out there can see where this is going, but at the time, I was blinded by love. Janet continued to fulfil the role of a good wife; the house was spick and span, yummy food on the table and outstanding sex in bed ... and in the kitchen ... and in the living room. Ok, you get the picture here. Paradise! Right?

Then began the descent.

So ... there I was ... afraid that Janet was cheating on me but no proof. What to do?

First, I needed to confirm or deny the internal fear that Janet was cheating. I pulled up the “Where am I app” on my smart phone and logged in as Janet ... bam! There she was!!!!! AT HOME!!!!! What a letdown.

A few days later, I checked on her at lunch time and the app showed her car across town from her work. GOTCHA! A quick internet search and I had the location ... in aerial and ground views no less. WTF! A Motel 6^TM ... the cheap bastard (for some reason I NEVER even considered that it could be another female she was cheating on me with). I punched out and told my boss I needed a long lunch ... no biggie. Driving to the location on the phone, I kept telling myself... “Self ... do NOT do anything today ... get information. Find out who! DO NOT ACT!”

I got to the motel and drove around until I found Janet’s car. It was parked off across the parking lot from the building. I did not know where she was, if she was in a room or what room, so I backed in a space up a ways but from where I could see her car and waited. Janet must have had some “Daddy” issues that I was unaware of, cuz when she walked across the parking lot about 2 hours later, it turns out the Piece of Shit (POS) she was banging was only a few years younger than her Dad! WTF ... Right?

I started up my car and drove slowly out of the lot. I did not want to attract her attention. Not yet anyway.

I needed a plan and a good one at that. I knew that except for divorcing her and just driving into the sunset I was looking at big trouble. I loved Janet but what she was doing was not right. If she wanted to fuck other guys, she should have told me before she started so that we could have divorced. If she wanted to get into swinging, again she should have talked to me. Who knows, I probably would have agreed to THAT! Come ON guys ... getting strange pussy, having a happy wife and knowing up front that we were just playing and no one was planning on leaving the relationship might have been acceptable; at least to me.

I drove around for a bit so that I would be getting home at the normal time. As I came through the door, a freshly showered and scrubbed Janet greeted me with a kiss. “Glad your home, big guy,” she said with a smile, “I can either start dinner or we can start with dessert.”

Now here was a dilemma; I knew Janet had just been banging POS which was a turn off but I was so mad at Janet that I wanted to fuck POS out of her. Turns out my little head was stronger than my big head and I ended up picking her up, throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her into the bedroom.

Janet hit the center of the bed and bounced once or twice on her back. She arched her body using her shoulders and feet, unsnapped her jeans and was trying to work them and her panties off her hips at the same time. Meantime, I had pulled my tee shirt over my head and was trying to kick my boots off without falling over.

Janet had finally wrestled her jeans/panties off, well at least she had one leg out and was trying to kick her other leg free of the wadded up clothing.

My last boot went flying and I just grabbed my jeans and yanked them down over my hips. I started to have to hop a bit as my legs were tangled and ended up plopping down of the bed beside a now naked from the waist down Janet. I got the jeans and my socks off, stood up and stepped out of my boxers.

Janet had skootched up the bed and had her head propped up on some pillows and her hands were busy down at her puss.

I jumped on the bed and she snapped her knees together, trapping her hands in her crotch. With a roar I leapt at her and grabbed her knees. I yanked them apart and her hands flew up to cover her nips but those were not my intended targets. I pushed my face into her crotch, ran my tongue up her slit and then sucked her clit into my mouth. Janet froze in place.

I began alternately licking and sucking and she began moaning and whimpering. When she started thrashing around I picked up her hips, forced my mouth tight to her puss, sucked her clit in and began to nibble on it with my teeth. Janet exploded into an orgasm.

When she calmed down I worked my way up her body until I could sink my cock into her by now hot wet puss. My world shrank down to what my cock was feeling and what my eyes were seeing. Janet had managed to open her shirt and yank he bra up letting “the girls” come out to play. They were just sitting there with her nipples all hard and pointy. I began sucking on one then the other while plowing in and out of Janet’s puss.

I was picking up steam and Janet’s legs had locked around mine like a couple of snakes. Her nails where shredding my back. I knew she was drawing blood cuz when she brought her hands around to tease my nipples, she was leaving red streaks across my chest.

Finally, I bit down hard on her one nipple and levered us up into a sitting position; she was sitting, impaled on my cock and I was kneeling on the bed supporting both of us. She squealed, grabbed my hair and damned near stuffed her tit down my throat. At the same time, I could feel her puss clamp down on my cock and trap it in a vise like grip. That triggered my orgasm and I began shooting off inside her. Then the really bizarre thing happened. Janet began to squirt! I mean porn star quality squirt. It felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of warm goo on where our crotches were joined. Janet was screaming and humping up and down and the goo kept on flowing out of her. Suddenly, her eyes rolled up into the back of her head and she just slumped over dead in my arms.

My heart was pounding as I laid her down. I was screaming at her to wake up and was trying to see if she had a pulse. My hands were shaking so badly, I could hardly hold her wrist so I put a couple of fingers against the side of her neck. Just then her eyes started to flutter and then open. She was dazed for a second and the pulled me down into a kiss. First her tongue went down my throat but soon retreated. When mine followed into her mouth, she damn near sucked it off.

After about ten more minutes of tonsil hockey, she pulled back, smiled and said, “WOW!”

I pulled back off the bed and gave her hip a gentle slap, “Why don’t you get a shower and I will change out the bed?”

With a giggle she went into the bathroom and I began pulling the bed apart. Crap, it was soaked through the comforter, both sheets, the mattress pad and into the mattress itself. I threw the bedding into the corned and figured the mattress was gone until it dried. I went across the hall to the guest room and made up the bed in there for the night.

Janet was confused when she came out of the bath but turned beet red and had a giggling fit when she saw what condition our bed was in.

She tucked into the guest bed while I grabbed my shower before joining her. She snuggled up, whispered, “Thank you,” and fell into a deep sleep. Holding her in my arms that night, I lay in bed thinking. I loved Janet, hated what she was doing, knew I could not accept it but had no idea about what to do.

The next morning I got up and went to work as usual but my mind was churning. I finally came to the conclusion that what really pissed me off was not so much the sex (yea, that hurt but I could have just walked away from her for that) but the disrespect she and the POS showed me by fucking around behind my back. A plan was coming together but I was not sure how I would make it happen. I knew murder was a state crime, not federal, but I need more data so I punch out for lunch and went to local library. I signed up for one of their computers and did some online research on what the penalty for premeditated murder was in my home state and those around me. Well, guess what?! Texas fit the bill perfectly! Good God ... I LIKE them boys (and girls ... can’t forget the girls). So now I needed to get my plan set up and rolling.

About two weeks later, I came home, snuck up behind Janet while she was fussing at the stove and wrapped my arms around her.

“Hey babe, guess what,” I said as I moved my hands up to caress her breasts.

With a giggle and a smile she said, “You won a million bucks?”

“Almost,” I replied, “They had a performance contest at work and I won! It is a four day three night stay at one of those destination, all inclusive, spas just outside of Amarillo, Texas.”