Chapter 4: Never Ever Stop Loving

A COUPLE OF DAYS after our restaurant excursion Mom and I stretched out in the sun on the little pier. We’d oiled up with sunblock top to bottom, hats for our heads and dark glasses, but already at mid-morning it was hot enough for a retreat to the shaded patio chaise lounge before too long. Dad and Danny were off fishing. They said they’d bring back dinner, but Mom had a chicken in the refrigerator just in case.

Without looking at her I reached out to find her hand and hold it. She squeezed my fingers and I let my fingers entwine a little with hers.

“Mom.”

“Umm.”

“Mom, I love Danny.”

She squeezed my fingers again.

“I know you do, Charlie.”

“I mean, I’m in love with him.”

Mom released my hand and turned on her side to look at me. She leaned close and kissed my cheek. I tasted of sweat and sunblock I’m sure, but Mom didn’t seem to care.

“Have you told him this, Charlie?”

I smiled but I didn’t open my eyes.

“Yeah. He said he loved me, too.”

Mom kissed me again and put her hand on my tummy. My skin got warmer where her palm touched me.

“I love you, Charlie. I love Danny. Your dad loves the two of you. I know that as well as I know anything in my heart.”

She let her fingers drag across my belly to my hip. I was sweating but there was something more than sweat between my legs, I could feel it.

“You’re good for each other, Charlie. Your dad and I know that.”

“Is it weird Danny likes to dress up with stockings and stuff?”

Mom laughed.

“Some people would say so.”

I heard her chuckle.

“But who cares, right? It’s our business what we do in our own home.”

Her fingers traced the curve of my hip and moved up my flank. I wondered where they were going.

“Besides, who are we hurting? Who does Danny hurt if he dresses the way he does?”

Mom’s fingers stopped.

“Discretion here, Charlie, I think you know that already. Friends like Ruth and David and others you trust are fine.”

Her fingers moved closer to my breast but she didn’t touch me there. Instead she dragged them up to the side of my neck. They left a burning trail.

“It’s no big deal if Danny and David join you and the girls in dressing up, Charlie. But as far as what goes on between you and Danny, you want to be very careful about who you share that with.”

I jumped when she kissed me on the lips. It wasn’t a real serious smooch but it was totally unexpected. When we broke the kiss I opened my eyes to see her inches away. She’d taken off her dark glasses. I have her brown eyes. Hers are beautiful. Mine are, well, just big, but Mom says I’ll grow into them. I hope so. I saw her smile, and she leaned close to kiss me again. I loved the touch of her lips on mine but she didn’t linger.

“Don’t be scared off, Charlie, ever. Never ever. Love Danny and let him love you. Make every minute count.”

Suddenly she was crying and I didn’t know what to do, so I leaned up to kiss her and then kiss away a tear.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

I heard her laugh.

“These are happy tears, Charlie. You and Danny are growing up and that makes me happy and sad at the same time.”

She laughed again.

“Be sensible, Charlie, but not in loving. Love Danny with everything you’ve got. Everything.”

I held her gaze.

“Is that the way you love Dad, Mom?”

Her laughter was really loud this time.

“You bet your cute little butt I do, Charlie.”

That made me so happy I started crying and I leaned over onto Mom and put my cheek on her breasts and held her as close as I could. I felt her stroke my sweaty back.

“C’mon, Charlie, into the water. We need to cool off.”

A quick dip in cold lake water, especially on a hot summer day, is guaranteed to wake you up. After we dried off I’d settled on the patio double chaise lounge in the shade when Mom reappeared from the kitchen with two glasses of iced tea. She put one on her side table and handed me the other.

“Shove over, kiddo. Make some room.”

I put my iced tea on the other side table and stretched out. I was relaxed and comfy and pleasantly warm and at the same time wound up in a way I couldn’t quite identify.

“Scratch my back, Mom, will you?”

I turned on my side away from her.

Her fingernails across my shoulder blades were heaven. She alternated fingernails and the tips of her fingers, back, sides of my neck, down again, until I was shivering. When her fingers drifted down over the curve of my hip and back up my nipples responded and I decided now was the time to ask what I wanted to know.

“Mom, what does Dad like?”

She laughed.

“Well, you and Danny saw one thing he likes a lot when we were dressing to go out the other night, right?”

My giggle got out before I could stop it.

“Yeah!”

I paused.

“Can I tell you something, Mom?”

She kept her fingers moving, back up my flank, across and down my back almost to my butt, and back to my hip. They ventured down the outside of my leg and I had to consciously stop myself from lifting my leg so she could get to the inside of my thigh.

“Sure.”

“I’ve never seen them doing it, but Danny says sometimes he and David do what you and Dad were doing.”

I shuddered but I wasn’t cold.

“I think he wants me to do it with him, too.”

“And?”

Another shiver.

“Soon, maybe, Mom. I’m not sure but I think so.”

We were quiet for a few minutes after that.

“Does that make Danny gay, Mom, because he likes doing stuff with David?”

Mom chuckled, a friendly chuckle.