Chapter 23

“Wake up, Mr. Sandman,” Andrea told David Howard as she kissed him awake that Tuesday morning.

“How long was I asleep?” David wondered if it was all a dream.

“Ten good long hours, just like you needed, babe. Remember, you were shot yesterday. You know, bullet in the leg, tearing out some crucial tissue, burning more of it. The bullet’s gone, but you will never walk normally again. I’m just glad that you survived this ... hopefully last ever encounter with the Mafia. You’ve ... more than pushed your luck when it comes to the capos, bosses, and assorted made men. Not even counting Mob associates like Raymond Tancredo.

“I’ll be so fucking glad to be out of this state! What a fool I was, giving that lot the benefit of the doubt. None of them can be trusted! No matter how much law and order they seem to bring, they’re nothing but criminals themselves. Thugs. Murderers. The politicians who work for them are weak and spineless. I cannot believe my folly in admiring any of them, including Gianni Falcone. I was ... a moron,” Andrea choked back tears as she kissed her husband with more affection than ever.

“There, there, honey. It’s as good as over now. We’ll clean up, dress up, find some damn good sporting good stores and other places of that sort ... dump as much cash as we can on them, and walk away with a shit ton of useful supplies. That angel must have done a miracle on me, even if he kept the limp in place. I feel a helluva lot better now!

“We should grab some grub while we’re at it, you know. All of us. But only one person should go get it. Two people, max. That way ... we don’t stick out so much this time. They’re looking for a group, not a duo or a loner,” David suggested.

“Sounds good to me. If it’s okay with you, I’ll recruit someone else for the job, though. Jenny, Denise, Azita, several of us ladies are bound and determined to wait on you hand and foot. That’s just how it is, baby,” Andrea told her recuperating hubby.

“Such a wife! Such wonderful wives, in every best sense of the term,” David praised Andrea, making her blush.

“It’s my fault. I’ll go,” Orville Watts, the former bank manager insisted, “I could use the fresh air, anyway. I’m really sorry for getting this whole mess started up. On the upside, my colossal dumpster fire of a marriage is over for sure. I’ll never speak to that rotten cunt again. You’re a very lucky man, David. Not all wives are that great, let alone that plentiful.”

“What ... what is the deal with your wife, Mr. Watts?” Denise asked as she returned from getting some tea for David.

“Long story. Far too long for the time allotted, miss. Sorry, Mrs. Howard. There’s so many of you,” Orville chuckled as he prepared to go on his self-appointed mission.

“No apologies needed. With any luck, we’ll be your wives, too, in time. And those of every man and woman in this group. That’s how this community works. Everyone in it is married to everyone else in it. Just consider what that means, sir. Oh, and call me ‘Denise.’ No need to be so formal with your fiancee. We’re engaged now, as are you with Andrea, etc. You’ll see. Just you wait,” Denise told Orville with a kiss that shocked him with its ardor.

Orville turned very pale and his eyes bugged out, but then he collected himself and departed for the local fast-food burger joint to pick up some brunch. He found himself ordering a lot of something called the “Breakfast Burger,” a brunchy item consisting of ground chuck, bacon, extra cheese, egg, and biscuit instead of buns. With plenty of hashbrowns and coffee to spare, he bought that up and helped the restaurant unload them for the day. The whole meal was pure massive coronary delight, a true carnivorous indulgence in bad cholesterol and triglycerides.