Part 3: The Shit Finally Hits the fan!

I got up and off the next morning before breakfast. I was in no mood to see or talk to Daphne until I found out, till I found out once and for all what had happened. It was clear now, after what she said the night before there was something more than just chance fornication.

My wife and Ralph were more than just adulterers. I had to find out. I pulled away from the house, and found Ginger’s number again. No I was no fool; the last time when Hillary had looked it up in Daphne’s household directory I’d made a copy and logged it in my cell phone. I found the number and hit the appropriate button. About three seconds later Ginger made a pick up. I said, “Hello is this Ralph’s ex-wife Ginger?”

She replied, “Yeah, but we’re back together again.”

“Ginger this is Cale, Daphne’s husband. I need to see Ralph,” I couldn’t bring myself to estranged husband.

There was some hesitation; my guess was he was there, and she was conveying my message. I was right. He got on the phone, “Hello Cale?”

“Yeah it’s Cale. I need to see you.”

There was more talking in the background on the other end. He got back on, “You won’t hit me or anything?”

Damn, Ralph was a cool four inches taller, he worked out regularly, he was probably ninety-five percent muscle. Me hit him? I answered, “No I won’t hit you.”

He responded, “How about tonight at the Wagon Wheel, say 7:00 p.m.?”

I asked, “You can’t make it sooner?”

His reply, “Come on Cale.”

“OK then,” I added, “I’ll see you there; just you and me.”

He hesitated, “I don’t want any trouble Cale.”

I replied, “No trouble,” ‘for shit’s sake, ‘ I thought, ‘Ralph works for the ATF, he’s a field agent whatever that is, he probably has to deal with all sorts of ruffians. Me, I’m a damn pencil necked numbers cruncher.’

Just as I was about to close my phone I got a text message. I hate text messages! I checked it anyway; it was my dad, it said he needs to see me. This was crazy! My dad doesn’t text. I called him back, “Dad?”

He was wheezing really badly, “Cale I’ve got something for you. I’ve been dishonest with you, but Daphne called and she really is at the end of her rope. I wished now I’d done this before, long before.”

“What is it,” I asked?

“Just come over; it’s something from Chris, and I’ve been sitting on it for a long time.”

‘Wow’, I thought, ‘something from Chris, finally!’ I closed my phone and drove straight to my parents. When I got there I was crushed; dad looked like he was about ready to pass on.

Dad said, “Sit down. I’ve got something I’ve been hiding from you.”

“What is it dad?”

He was real shaky; he pointed to a chair in the kitchen. We both walked in, me upright in good health, him a tottering old man. My mom was in the kitchen. She had big wet red eyes; I knew she’d been crying. She took a seat too.

Mom spoke to me first, “I don’t know son. After today I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive us.”

I was looking from my mom to my dad, “OK, what is it?”

Dad spoke, “It’s about your brother. He can’t come. In fact he never could.”

“Why? What’s the matter?”

“Chris has been in prison son. He’s been there for years, and son, he’ll never get out.”

My stomach! Oh no not now!

Dad proceeded, “About two years ago he sent me and your mom a letter, part of it was for you. We read what he wrote you, and decided never to give it to you. It’s ... it’s just not something we thought you needed to know.”

I was stricken; my big brother, my hero in prison? My parents had a letter from him and part of it was for me, and they’ve kept it from me for what for years? I asked, “Where is it? I want to see it.”

Dad held up a piece of paper; the cheap scratchy yellowish paper elementary schools used. He held it for what seemed like a long time, “Please son ... Cale?”

I held out my hand, “Give me the letter dad.”

He held it a little longer, “I’m sorry son. We never meant for you to ever see this, but now ... with Daphne,” he handed it over.

I held it for a second; a letter from my brother. I unfolded it and started to read.

It was written in pencil. It was all crimped up; not like his handwriting at all, but I recognized the way the capital letters were made, this was his. There were smudge marks all over it. It read,

“Dear Cale:

I hope and pray you and your family are well. I have some things I need to say.

Before you start let me say how sorry I am. I’ve been a liar and cheat all my life. I’m in prison and I know I will never get out. I know it sounds crazy but I’m part of a prison gang. It’s been the only way I’ve been able to stay alive. I’m in prison for armed robbery and felony murder. Yeah a child got killed while the police were trying to apprehend me. I’ve been in for six years. I have another fourteen to serve, but I know I’ll never get out. I’ll end up killing somebody in here.

Cale you’re the good son. I’m no good. When I was in high school remember I got a free pass to go to Penn States based on my SATs. Well I never took them. I paid a kid who looked a lot like me to take them in my place. My grades were his. That’s how I got in. Of course, once I was in I couldn’t keep up.

You remember? I told everybody I was bored so I dropped out. I dropped out before they kicked me out. That was bad but it gets worse. Remember I said I dropped out to join the army. I did join the army. I didn’t fit in. I couldn’t take the discipline; imagine me an Eagle Scout too. I’d changed a lot. I got in a lot of trouble. The man in charge of the records, a warrant officer, offered me a general discharge if I voluntarily left; otherwise I’d get a dishonorable discharge. Well I took it. Then I sort of just drifted from town to town, stealing, and hurting people.

Cale forgive me. Please forgive me. Here’s the worst of it. It’s about Daphne. You remember how I left just before you two got married. You remember how I said it was because of a big job opportunity in Texas. Well I lied. I just couldn’t stay. I couldn’t stay and look at you. Here’s why. Cale please forgive me for this. Don’t ask me how, but I found out somewhere along the line Daphne only wanted you. When she was dating me she was only interested in you. Later she told me why. I’ll come to that. What’s important is this.

Remember how popular she was when everybody was running around. I mean she wasn’t the prettiest one, or the smartest one, but she sure was the nicest one. Guys really liked her. You know that, and you know why too. She was always special.

You remember how the guys used to chase after her. She had dates like crazy. But you know what; though she was good company, good to be with, she was a totally good girl. Some girls can pull it off. They date all around, they can be warm and friendly and still hold on to their goodness. That was Daphne. Guys used to mention her, but no one ever trashed her, and you know why? Everybody just really liked her. She was just that sweet. Nobody seriously tried to take advantage of her for just that reason. There are girls like that. You’re one lucky guy.

That was my problem. For a while I thought she was hot for me; then I found out. She only pretended to like me; she liked my little brother. She liked you! She chose you over me! She chose you over everybody!

Why did she do that? For a while I thought she was crazy, but just before you two got married she told me.

She’s not stupid; she’s smart. Guys are assholes. Guys are all always just about themselves; that is all but a few. Some guys are just naturally generous, upright, fair, and good humored. Those are her words not mine. Throw in intelligent and honest and guess who you’ve got. You’ve got you!

Daphne’s smart. She noticed you. She started to eye you up. She said you were so selfless you didn’t even see it. Christ Cale she dated every friend you had. You know why? She was trying get close to you. She was trying to figure you out. When she did figure you out, well, you know how that went.

Cale here’s the shitty part, I got jealous. I got so jealous of you. Sure I was everybody’s dreamboat, but I knew who I really was I was the phony, the fraud. You were the real thing. Daphne saw it; then she started to not like me. I think she got scared I’d mess things up between the two of you.

Cale I’m sorry. I got mad. I got so mad I decided to get even. One night just before you and she were to get married I talked her into going with me to a private spot where we could talk; you might know it, the place up by the lake. She trusted me. She never believed I would do anything to hurt you or her. She was wrong.

I got her out by the lake and I abused her. Cale I raped your future wife. I raped Daphne. When I wronged her; I wronged a virgin. Cale Daphne was a virgin and I raped her.

I was a mean bastard. Cale I raped her and then I threw her out of the car and left her up there by the lake. I never went back to mom and dads. I just hid out in town. I was such a coward. I couldn’t face what I’d done.

Cale I’m so sorry. I got to her the next morning and promised I would never say anything if she promised to be quiet too. She was so stricken she would have agreed to anything.

You know what she was afraid of? She was afraid you wouldn’t love her anymore if you found out. I asked her how she got home. She told me a friend of yours, a guy named Ralph found her on the highway. He took her to a motel and cleaned her up. He never took advantage of her; he just cleaned her up and tried to calm her down. I don’t even know if that guy is still alive. I know he was your friend because of what he did for Daphne.

Cale I’m sorry. I know you can never forgive me. I’m just such a worthless piece of shit. Daphne was such a good girl. I shamed her. Like I said I promised to never say anything. She promised she would never say anything either.

Cale I couldn’t keep quiet. I lied before. I won’t get out. I have a disease. I’m going to die in here. I’m going to die in a place where the only thing that changes is the date on the calendar.

I’m sorry, but I’m paying for what I did. I guess I’m sorry I wrote you this letter. But before I died I had to confess. Once you read it, throw it away, burn it, never ever let Daphne know I told you any of this. She was more afraid that you’d be angry at her than in finding out about what a monster I am. She didn’t want you to know what I did to her; she wanted you to always think of me as a hero. I guess she just wanted to protect you. Be good to her Cale. Be good to mom and dad. They know everything. Never try to find me. I’m so sorry. Maybe I’ll be dead by the time you get this. I hope so. Good bye.

Your worthless no good brother,

Chris.”

I read it, and I read it again. I was just so numb. My brother, Chris; I couldn’t find the words. I looked at mom and dad “Why? Why now?”

Dad handed me a form letter, “Chris died about a year ago. He died in prison, He’s buried there. We were never going to tell you.”

Mom spoke to me, “We got scared when Daphne called us this morning. She doesn’t know we know anything, but she’s really scared she’s going to lose you. She’s afraid son. Cale we know her. You know her. She’s never going to tell you any of this. She thinks she’s still protecting you. She loves you that much.”

I read the brief memo from Leavenworth and handed it back to my dad. I looked at my watch. I still had several hours before I was supposed to see Ralph. I took Chris’s letter. I walked over to my parents’ oven; it was a gas oven. I turned on the front burner and set the damn thing on fire. I looked at my mom and dad, “Does Hillary know?”

Mom wasn’t crying but her eyes were red, “No, she doesn’t know.”

I let the letter burn to a crisp. I took the remaining shards to their sink, and washed the ashes down the drain. I looked back at my mom and dad, “This thing, this thing here; it’s gone. Never mention it, not to anyone. Never let Daphne know that I know. It’s over, over forever.”

My mom asked, “What are you going to do son?”

I looked at my mom and dad, then at my watch, “First mom, dad I want you to know that I love you. You’ve been protecting me and my family for a long time. What am I going to do? What am I to do? I’m saddened I guess, but I know why you did it. I promise; I’ll never let you down.”

I sighed and thought, ‘Now what am I going to about Daphne?’ I looked back at my mom and dad. I told them, “I have a date to see Ralph Stevens. I’m sure he’s the Ralph Chris mentioned. We have some old and new business to clear up. Then I’m going home. I have a wife who loves me and who I love,” I almost started to cry but stopped. I never knew how much and how deeply she loved me. I never realized how much I loved her.

I looked back at mom and dad, “I have a really special wife. I have three wonderful kids. I have a home. I’m going to be the best husband, the best father, and the best brother and the best son I can be. That’s all I can do.”

Mom did start to cry then. Dad just sat there.

I left, got in my truck and just drove. I drove all over. I drove out by the lake. I drove by the same places where Geena and I had been a few weeks before. How many times had Daphne and I and the kids been there? I couldn’t count the times. How many times had she sat around on the grass and remembered; remembered what had to be the worst night of her life. She never told me. She never said anything. What a horrible thing she’d had happen to her, and she never told me. What a horrible secret she’d kept all these years. I knew we’d never go back there. I thought about Ralph. I wondered what was going on with him and Daphne. One thing for sure; I knew it couldn’t be adultery.

I thought about Daphne’s activities before we got together. All the guys she dated and none of them ever touched her. If my brother hadn’t hurt her she would have been a virgin on our wedding night. Oh no, to me she was a virgin.

About 6:30 p.m. I started toward the Wagon Wheel. I got there a little early and went inside. Ralph was already there. He was in a booth and he looked scared. I walked over and sat down across from him.

He started, “Cale I...”

I stopped him, “Ralph I know about my brother. I know what he did. I found out just today. I heard what you did for Daphne all those years ago. Jesus Ralph you were a true friend. But Ralph you have to tell me what you and Daphne were doing at the Holiday Inn?”

“Cale,” I could see he was close to just getting up and running out the door.

“Just tell me Ralph.”

Cale me and Ginger, Ginger and I we’ve been having some trouble. I’ve been, well, I’ve been stupid, I got an STD.”

I leaned back and thought, ‘that’s no surprise.’

“Ginger, she got it from me. Cale I work for the ATF. I did something really stupid. I was on the job, and I caught a woman getting into some really bad shit. She and I made a deal. I’m a rat. I’d done it before. I thought I could get away with it again.”

I could see he was nervous as hell; he went on, “Cale I could go to jail for what I did. Instead of just money I traded sex for the information I had on this woman. Oh I got money from her too, but the problem is ... she’s a madam. I didn’t screw her. As part of the deal I screwed several of her girls. That’s how I got sick. When I went back to the madam she showed me she had me on tape, I was fucked, or at least I thought I was. Since then she’s been blackmailing me, but that’s the least of it. There’s Ginger. I needed an alibi. Well no, I needed a woman who’d stand up and say to Ginger I gave Ralph the STD.”

I watched as he started to shake.

“Cale,” he said, “who was there? There was nobody. I wasn’t thinking straight. Hell I wasn’t thinking at all! Then I thought of Daphne. I was scared. I wasn’t in my right mind. I called her. We met a couple times. I tried to talk her into something bad. I tried to get her to tell Ginger I got the problem from her. Our last conversation was at the Holiday Inn. I don’t know why we agreed to meet there. I know now how stupid it was. We never thought ... I never thought you’d ... we.