Chapter 24

“Do you, Eldritch, take this woman, Nicole, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, cherish, and protect, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?” Lacey now inquired of County Commissioner Eldritch Haynes.

“I do,” Eldritch told her enthusiastically.

“Do you, Nicole, take this man, Eldritch, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, honor, and obey, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?” Lacey now put Nicole on the spot.

“I do,” Nicole blushed now.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Tennessee, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride,” Lacey declared, barely catching her breath before the couple puckered up and kissed each other feverishly on the mouth.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Eldritch Haynes,” Lacey formally introduced a very relieved Nicole, who was very obviously pregnant, just like the other ladies in the tribe.

This included Lacey herself, visibly knocked up officiator that she was. That was okay with her, of course. She had plans, after all. In the meantime.

“Next up, Tara and Philippa,” Lacey summoned the drag queen and her bride, Damien’s so-called “work wife. They have written special vows for themselves, of course.”

“Do you, Philippa, take this woman, Tara, to be your lawfully wedded Hotwife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, honor, and obey, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?” Lacey slipped in after the rings were exchanged.

“I do,” Philippa/Philip, very much in drag and wearing a bridal gown of her own, promised.

“Do you, Tara, take this sissy, Philippa, to be your lawfully wedded cuckold, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, cherish, and protect, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?” Lacey continued with the unorthodox vows.

“I do,” Tara grinned from ear to ear as she exchanged vows with her sissy, drag queen, and cuckold, Philippa.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Tennessee, I now pronounce you cuckold and wife. You may kiss the bride, cucky,” Lacey encouraged a kiss, not that either Philippa or Tara needed much prodding to do a steamy lip lock.

Tara was pregnant as well ... all of the women of the family were. It was just not clear who the Daddy was in most cases, given the orgiastic nature of their lifestyle. Since the husbands, if there were any, claimed the babies as their own as a rule of thumb, and everyone co-parented as a group, it wasn’t a big deal. Even when it was obvious, such as with Eddie, the husband was legally the father and none of them would dispute that. As for any women married to other women, well, Damien and Frank between pretty much claimed any spawn of theirs as their own.

Speaking of which ... after the announcement of the nuptials by Lacey.

“Do you, Lauren, take this woman, Marina, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, cherish, and protect, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?” Lacey kept up the vows after Lauren and Marina exchanged rings.

“I do,” Lauren’s Southern drawl just made it sound even more sincere than it was.

“Do you, Marina, take this woman, Lauren, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, cherish, and protect, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, for as long as you both shall live?” Lacey resumed.

“Da ... I mean, I do,” Marina started with her native Russian out of her own sincerity.

Everyone laughed with the Slavic beauty, not at her.