Chapter 11

Third week in December

The weather stayed crappy and we stayed indoors. On Monday, I got a strange look from Tanya Wellington in the car line and I didn’t know why. She was usually friendly and chatty but that Monday she wasn’t. Rough day, perhaps.

Jan had something at her shop that required her attention and I drove Mars home for the first time. We waited until the rest of the kids had been picked up and then got in my car for the short drive home. I hadn’t thought about it until just then but it was Mars’ first ride in my car and she loved it. I wished the weather had been better so I could have taken the top off. I tucked that nugget away for another time.

We got back to her house and I started her on homework while I poked through the kitchen for dinner options. By the time Jan got home, the house smelled of curry chicken.

“I could get used to this,” she said, sampling what was simmering. “Yummy. You found what you needed in this kitchen?”

“I made do. I might have to make a grocery trip if you want to get used to this.”

“I do like this. Actually, you haven’t cooked a meal I didn’t like. Your kimchi will take some getting used to, though. It would probably go well with this.”

“Now, you’re talking.”

“It was really strong. Watered my eyes a little.”

“Mars seemed to like it.”

“She’ll eat anything. But yes, she did. She likes what you cook, too. Make a list. I’ll pick up ingredients to stock my kitchen to proper Danny standards.”

Again, we were merging our lives. Little bits, day by day. As much as we shared, I still had no clothes hanging in her closet. Perhaps it was because our homes were only a mile apart. Perhaps it was the last vestige of fear. Perhaps it would be a milestone in commitment.

Tuesday was a day of preparation for me. I planned to be gone for a week so I did laundry and packed. I was going to crowd a workout into the afternoon but realized I would have plenty of time to do that in Asheville. Kayla’s gym had everything I’d need.

The next day, school was out at noon. I waited under the awning at carline while Jan inched forward. None of the teachers was out in the rain and I could wait. When she finally made it to the awning, Mars ran around to the passenger side to get in. There were few cars left and fewer kids and teachers waiting. I made an exception to my rule, bent down and stuck my head in her window and kissed her. When I stood back up I noticed one of the remaining cars was being driven by Tanya and I knew immediately why she had given me the silent treatment the previous two days. Word was out.

“Be back soon,” I said, shifting gears.

“Do you really need to make this trip?”

“I think so. Amanda and Kayla have some big news and there’s some sort of meeting at her B&B tonight and I think I need to be there. She always tells me what’s going on but I guess I need to be there for this. I’ll stay a couple of days, through the weekend at the most, and then be back.”

She smiled briefly when I mentioned the meeting. “Okay, stud, be careful. Call me when you get there, let me know you’re okay. See you soon.” There was something in her facial expression that should have alerted me but I didn’t pick up on it. I remembered it later, though.

I locked my classroom, and set out for Asheville, having packed and stowed my bag the night before. Leaving so early, traffic was almost non-existent and although I made the trip quickly it didn’t seem that way. My mind bounced from thought to thought like a well hit three-wood in a tile bathroom. I had three women in my life and I was about to change my relationship with each of them. I both wanted and dreaded it but the time for that change would happen that week. Ping, ping, ping.

I pulled up to the main house right at four and found a place to park. There were a lot more cars in the front than usual, especially for midweek and that time of day. I left my bag in the car and took the steps two at a time. I threw the door open and had planned on hollering out to Amanda but what I saw stopped me in my tracks.

“Hey Danny. Glad you could make the trip. Now, we’re just waiting on two to join us by teleconference.” Tiffany seemed to be presiding over a large group of women. I didn’t recognize anyone but Amanda, Kayla, and Tiffany.

“Am I in the right place,” I asked, not sure what I’d gotten myself into.

“You’re in the right place, Danny. And your timing is great,” Amanda answered. “Everyone here knows who you are and when the other two come online, we’ll make introductions.

Kayla motioned for me to sit between her and Amanda and I did. There was a camera set up and a large screen TV on a rolling cart next to it. The TV picture had been split into four quadrants with two of them occupied by two women I didn’t know and there were two blank quadrants at the bottom. The camera was pointed at our group.

Kayla told me the meeting was about Joanne, Tiffany’s mom. That’s why Tiffany was in charge of the meeting.

“What’s going on,” I whispered.

“You’ll see. We been busy.”

“I can see that. Quite a group.”

“We been busier than just this,” she whispered back.

The other screen lit up and another person joined the meeting. It took me a moment for the realization to settle in that our group’s newest member was Franco.

“Hey, Mister Franco. Can you see everyone?”

“Yup. Hey ladies,” he said to most of the group.

“Hey, Franco,” they responded. Apparently, they knew him. This was weird.

I waved at Franco and he responded, “I said, hey ladies,” and almost everyone laughed. Haha.

The last screen lit up and it got even more weird. It was Jan together with Mars. Tiffany checked with her to make sure she could see us all.

“Let’s get started then. I know some of you are on a schedule and I don’t want to go over time. First, I want to say thanks to everyone for being willing to help my mom kick her addiction. It means more than you’ll ever know. Not everyone knows everyone else here so I want to run through some quick introductions and you can talk after the meeting if that’s okay.”

We all nodded and Tiffany continued by introducing each of the women I didn’t know. Then she introduced me. “Danny is the man who challenged me to do something for my mom. He showed me a sailboat leaving Charleston harbor and suggested that rather than complain about the weather I should adjust the sails. He told me about the Asheville Rehab Center and suggested I see if there were people who would come along side to help. The rehab center said they’d had a support group of four or even five before but we have a group of nine and that makes me so happy. Danny, I’m glad you’re here.

“Franco showed me what Danny told me. He challenged me to try something I’ve never done before. It may sound like a strange thing but he challenged me to pitch a slider, not just in practice but to a batter. I had it in me the whole time but had been afraid to try it. He also made some phone calls and helped me get a college scholarship. He has helped me develop a positive outlook. We’ve talked almost every day for the last month and I’m so very happy you could join us, Franco.”

This was amazing. All this had happened while I was oblivious.

“Where is she going,” I whispered to Kayla.

“Duke,” she whispered back with a huge grin. “Got her grades up enough. They want her.”

“Finally, I want to thank Miss Jan. When she found out from Franco what we were doing, she asked if she could help. I know many of you have offered to chip in on the cost of rehab but Jan wouldn’t hear of it and my mom’s treatment is prepaid in full. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

“I didn’t even know Danny or Franco until Thanksgiving and I’ve only known Jan for three weeks. Franco and Jan are good friends with Danny. So, I’m surrounded with very new friends and friends I’ve known most of my life and all for the benefit of my mom.”

“Some of us have changed your diapers, honey,” said a woman at the other end of the couch and everyone laughed.

“Donna isn’t here because she’s with my mom but I’ve already told her everything. Here’s the short version. Donna and I are staying with my mom tonight and taking her to Asheville Rehab Center in the morning. Sheila, you, Donna and I are searching the house for alcohol after we get back from checking her in. We’ll call you when we leave the center. Mom gets out in six weeks and Debbie and I are scheduled to pick her up. In between those dates, she could use some encouragement and there’s a visitor schedule for each of you. I have copies of the rotation, with everyone’s phone number on it and will be sending you each an email later today.

“There’s class for us on the 4th. It would normally be at the rehab center but because there’s so many of us, they’re actually sending someone here at Amanda’s B&B to teach it, which is really nice of them. After that, we have optional Al-anon type meetings at the center. It’s not Al-anon but like it. I plan to go to those but they are optional. Y’all are doing so much without that. Our bottom line is that my mom is never by herself and that we always have a positive handoff. I don’t think everyone was there for the initial planning meeting. The handoff is simple. Make eye contact with your relief, shake hands and the person taking over says something to the effect of ‘I’ve got her.’ The last thing is that we agreed that our rotations are supposed to be twenty-four-hours but absolutely no more than forty-eight. If anyone needs to switch their schedule, it’s up to you to find your replacement but please post the swap on the board so everyone knows. Did I miss anything? Does anyone have any questions?”

A couple of people made some clarifications and one person needed directions. A couple of others hadn’t accessed the digital note board and needed directions or an invitation to that. I found out in the midst of the discussion that Amanda’s B&B had been discussed as the location for follow-up recovery but quickly dismissed since she served wine with dinner several nights a week and it would be difficult to monitor. Jan offered to come up for the weekend if needed and two of the other women suggested they post additional availability to the board so people would know who to ask if they needed to swap.

When 4:30 came around, Franco gave his best wishes and his quadrant went black. Tiffany took a deep breath and made a phone call. She talked for a minute or two and then turned back to the group.

“Everybody ready? After this, only four of us have anything we have to do except the class until she’s released but I want to make sure everyone is good with our plan. This will probably be the only time we all get together. I think it’s important for my mom to see our entire team before we start. I think it will be a big encouragement to her.” She looked around the room and got nods from everyone. I’d seen team pre-game meetings that were less organized than this.

“Okay. I’m putting her on. She’s been dry for almost 48 hours already, so she might not look so good. Rough start.” She worked the app and the bottom right quadrant went live. It was Tiffany’s mom with Donna in the background.

“Hey everybody. Thank you all so much. I know this is a big nuisance to y’all but I really appreciate it. I know I can beat this, especially with all y’all’s help. I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m not going to disappoint you. I’m really not.” She looked over her shoulder at Donna and they spoke for a moment.

She turned back to the camera. “Tiff, honey, can we turn this off now. I think I’m going to have a cry.” She looked very ready to lose it but was putting on a brave front.

“Sure, mom. I’ll see you in an hour or so. Donna, do you need anything?” She shook her head and Tiffany disconnected. “Jan, do you have anything else?”

“You’re all really tiny on my TV. I’m looking forward to meeting you,” she said and was ready to disconnect but Mars had other ideas.

“Hey monsieur J.” Jan squeezed her and they left the meeting.

“Monsieur J,” Kayla asked in a whisper.

Tiffany sighed turned back to the rest of us. “I can’t thank you enough. That’s all I have. Mom requested Chinese so I’m picking some up on the way home. If anyone wants to join us, you’re welcome to. Not too many, though, I think.”

One of the women offered to pick up the food so that Tiffany could go straight home and the meeting was over. Everyone crowded around Tiffany to congratulate her on setting it all up and wishing her the best. A couple of people got her to write something down and one by one, they departed, leaving Tiffany, Amanda, Kayla and me.

“Wow. That was amazing. I had no idea that you and Franco had been talking or that Jan had any idea.”

“You started it, Danny,” Tiffany said. “I’ve had Franco’s number from that Sunday when I pitched. We hit it off. He’s like the dad I never had. I guess I’m like the daughter he never had. It’s fun. His wife, Marie, got in on it too, and she’s been really supportive. Franco knew about Jan because you told him. He saw her at your house one day while you were out someplace. I don’t think he had any idea, in fact I know he didn’t have any idea, cause, how could he?”

“You lost me,” I said. “Franco didn’t have any idea about what?”

“Oh. Silly. He didn’t know that Jan would do anything about it. They talked for a long time, I think it was two weeks ago or something. But Franco told her about Tiffany and I visiting over Thanksgiving and I guess she asked what the family problem was. So, he gave her details. Lots of details. Jan asked how much it was. Franco called me, then I called Jan and she offered to pay for it. There. Caught up?”

“I guess. Wow. So, she’s funding rehab because Franco told her it was important to me?”

“That’s the short end of it,” Amanda said, smiling.

“I know she had some money but I had no idea that she had enough to be able to afford to do this,” I said.

“You don’t have any idea how much money she has, do you, sport,” Amanda asked.

I shook my head, no. She had told me what she paid off and I figured the insurance at two million covered it and taxes and not much more.

“You two need to work on your communication. You never asked,” Amanda said somewhat incredulous at my ignorance.

“It didn’t seem important. She has enough. I have enough. That’s all that matters, right?”

“You need to talk.”

“It’s not important but now I’m curious. She told you?”

“Franco asked if she won the lottery and she told him. She knew he was your friend so she didn’t think anything of it,” Tiffany said.

“Okay, so how much? One of them will tell me, so I may as well know.”

Amanda looked at Tiffany and then back at me. “You should ask her yourself.”

“A lot, I’m guessing. Out of sight, out of mind. She thinks like me. Has enough. Doesn’t worry about it.” Amanda smiled and shrugged.

Tiffany was getting ready to leave and I turned to her. “I’m really proud of you. I’m impressed, too. I couldn’t imagine better preparation and it looks like you’ve got plenty of support. Well done.”

She smiled at that. “I think I just needed someone to kick me in the butt. You did that. What surprised me was how much support we’ve got and how easy it was. In my mind, I short-changed our friends. If this all hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have known. I don’t ever want to short change friends again.”

“I know you need to go but next time, tell me about Duke.”

She smiled at that, gave me a hug and left. Amanda, and Kayla both turned to me expectantly. I waited. They waited. Amanda tapped her foot. Kayla joined and they both crossed their arms. I waited but the longer they gave me the treatment the harder it was to keep a straight face.

Finally, Amanda asked, “Okay, sport. Tell us about Jan.”

“And tell us about her daughter. Mars? Is that right? She’s adorable,” Kayla said.

I spent the next hour telling my cousins about how Kayla told me to take the invitation for Thanksgiving dinner and everything since then. We told each other almost everything so I shared and when I was done, we all leaned back into our chairs. I put my arm around Kayla and the two of us watched while Amanda processed it all. She asked a couple of questions and went back to thinking. Kayla and I went back to waiting. It might have been fifteen minutes before Amanda broke the silence.

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Have you told her?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Alright. Does she love you,” Amanda asked.

“Yes.”

“You sure about that?”

I explained about the nod.

“You love her and she loves you but neither one of you has told the other. Did I get that right?”

“Pretty much.”

“And she has a sizable bank account and you didn’t know about that either. What else aren’t you two communicating about?”

“Other than that, I think we’ve covered the important things. The money wasn’t important so we didn’t talk about it. We talked about love in the beginning but not since. I think we both know that when that word comes into play, we enter new territory and there’s no going back. That’s what I think. It’s what it feels like to me.”

“Do you want kids or is Mars enough?”

“Mars is enough.”

“Where’s your relationship going to be in five years or ten if you get married?”

“We’ll decide together. We agree a lot. Too much maybe.”

“Have you ever had an argument or a fight?”

“Not even close. Have we,” I asked.

“No. Good point. You are pretty easy to get along with. Let me think another minute.” We waited while she ran it through in her mind. “Do you want my advice?”

“That, Amanda, is why I’m here. I would like nothing more.”

“Okay. Here goes. What you should do ... in my opinion ... is order us a pizza for dinner because I’m starving and the staff is off tonight and I don’t feel like cooking. After we eat, you should turn in early and get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow morning you should take Kayla and me down the hill to Bad Kitty and buy us each a couple of new toys and lots of batteries for Christmas. Then you should let us both take you shopping so you can buy a ring and go home and pop the big one. That’s what I think.”

“Mom,” Kayla protested.

“Nope,” Amanda answered and she knew why Kayla had protested. “Listen to me, girl. Danny came here last summer as a favor to me. He didn’t come looking for sex but he got it because I was starved for it. He pleased me and then, educated you. I didn’t hear any complaints but it wasn’t on his agenda, either. Now, I’ve come out of my shell after years and am dating again. I’m having fun and realize I could sleep with Kevin if I wanted to. You have been educated far beyond your years. We all knew it wasn’t going to last forever. But here’s the real issue. Last summer, you didn’t see how guilty Danny felt when he had sex with me while thinking of you. He hated it. Hated himself. I’m not going to put him in that position again. We had fun and a lot more. Now, he’s ready to move on and neither you nor I have any right to be selfish.” She looked at Kayla with a fierce determination I hadn’t seen before and then turned to me.

“That’s my advice. That’s what I think you should do.”

Kayla was processing all this in a completely different way. “If you do what mom says, you’re done having sex with anyone else, aren’t you?”

“Definitely,” I answered and could see she was still processing.

“You haven’t had sex with Jan and you haven’t had it with anyone else since Thanksgiving.” I shook my head. “If you ask her to marry you and she says ‘yes’ that’s the end of your play time, isn’t it?”

“Not at all. That’s the beginning.”

“What if she’s not any fun in bed,” she asked, seriously.

“Think about what you just said a minute.” I waited.

“Well, what if she only wants to have sex once a week. Or even only once a month,” she asked, aghast at the possibility.

“Then, I shall take it as a personal challenge to encourage her. Honestly, I’m not worried about it and that’s not why I would be marrying her anyway. Obviously, it would be great if she were an enthusiastic lover but not my major concern.”

Kayla looked at me as though I were a space alien. “But ... what about...” She was clearly at a loss for words.

“Jan is beautiful, has a great personality, is very smart and we get along great together. We click. And...” I paused, “I’m going to kiss and tell one time and one time only.”

“Now, we’re talking,” she said.

“She is a great kisser. I think that might just spill over into other areas. Now, that’s all I’m going to say about that, ever. I didn’t want you and Amanda to compare notes because I didn’t want you to compete with each other. But, if and when I ask Jan to marry me, I won’t put her in a position to compete with anyone else, real or imagined. Won’t do it. Not fair to her.”

This was a whole new way of thinking about it for Kayla. Amanda watched her run things over in her mind for a while before she looked back at me. “What are you going to do, sport?”

It was my turn to think about it. I knew she was right. I’d been feeling guilty about Amanda and Kayla and had to remind myself that it was all before I met Jan. I ran through the facts, first, to myself and then out loud.

“Elsa is gone. House on the market with no contact from her. That chapter’s over. The three of us had fun. We put our relationships at risk to have a lot of fun but it worked out. Our relationships are still good if we change the nature of them and go back to being cousins and not lovers, right?” They nodded, Kayla, somewhat reluctantly. “I trust Jan and she trusts me. She’s ready to move forward although she hasn’t said anything about marriage. Not a word, and neither have I.”

“But you’re practically living together?”

“No. We haven’t slept together. No sex yet. If we had, then I probably would have moved in already but we’ve kept enough space.”

“But she’s ready for that step?”

“Of that, I’m certain. On my way up here, I was thinking if there was anything I would withhold from her. Could I give myself to her completely and I could only think of one thing and that’s my sexual relationship with you and especially with Kayla. I think that would devastate her.”

Amanda thought about that a minute, then said, “Then you’re not withholding it from her for your benefit. You’re protecting her from it for hers. You see the difference, right? You wouldn’t tell her because of what it would do to her. That’s protection. I’m not going to tell her and Kayla isn’t. You’ve trusted us with that from the beginning. We’ve both spoken with her and if you do get married, she’ll be part of the family. But whatever we talk to her about in the future, it won’t include sex. It would be too easy to slip up and we’re not going to invite that possibility. So, what’s stopping you?”

I’d been thinking about it in one form or another since the night I explained love to Mars. Jan would accept my proposal and Mars would be thrilled. At least I thought so. It was such a big step but it seemed like the right one.

“A good night’s sleep. I’ll do exactly what you said. Two large combinations from Papa John’s sound good?”

“There’s just one more thing,” Amanda said. “No more sex with you for either of us, right? That ended just now when you decided, right?” I nodded slowly. “Do you think you could manage one more kiss each, before you made the call, ate the pizza, bought us some new toys and her a ring. One more kiss each. Would your sensibilities permit that?”

I almost laughed. “I think I could give you each one more very un-cousinly kiss to sort of seal the deal.”

“Curl my toes, you stud,” Amanda said, standing.

I did my best by each of them and enjoyed it thoroughly and guilt free. They each made it last and we ended our kisses very reluctantly. When we finished, I told them what I liked best about our time together. I told Amanda that she was the full sensory package, stimulating me visually, with her intoxicating smell and her amazing sounds, especially when she let loose and came loudly. I told her how much I valued our relationship and her big sister type of advice. I told Kayla that she was far beyond hot and the most enthusiastic lover I’d ever had and her youthful exuberance was a total turn on. I told her that her desire to please me was another big turn on and that it would serve her well when she found the right guy. I gave her a thumb drive with her edited nude portfolio on it and cautioned her again to be careful with it. She asked if I’d kept a copy and I shook my head.

Amanda said, “That kiss? You’ve been practicing. She’s got to be a good kisser. Wow. Make the call before we use the power of jujitsu to subdue you and demand more.”

I laughed at that and they did too. I took out my phone and showed them the Bahamas bikini pic.

“Holy crap, Danny,” Kayla exclaimed.

“Yeah,” I cleverly replied.

“She’s hot, Danny. Really hot. And you haven’t...”

“Nope. Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. A lot.”

“I said I wanted to me her but now I don’t think so,” Kayla said. “How old is she?”

“Thirty-two. I’ve told her but I honestly don’t think she realizes just how hot she is.”

“How could she not know,” Amanda asked.

“Married to the same guy for a long time. And truthfully, the more I get to know her, the more I think he never told her.”

“But you do,” Amanda said.

“Damn straight, I do. She needs to know that I appreciate her for more than just her looks but she needs to know that I really appreciate her looks. I do.”

“Be crazy not to. I’m happy for you, Danny. I hope you ask and she says, ‘yes’.”

“Me too,” Kayla added. “You know what though?”

“Tell me.”

“Mars is, what, eleven? She’s cute and it won’t be long before she’ll be dating, dad.”

“Don’t think I haven’t thought of that. Ugh.”

I called for pizza and we hugged in a more cousinly fashion until it came. We ate and talked some more and I was pleased that they were both fine with things. Not exactly happy, but understanding and encouraging.

That night I slept alone and soundly but had crazy dreams. In one dream I was something like a flying taco and I flew right through the St Louis Arch. I have no idea where that came from. Everyone was waving at me, the giant, flying taco. In the second dream I was at a wedding and walking a bride up the aisle to give her hand in marriage. When we got to the front, she lifted her veil. It was Mars. I woke, sitting bolt upright and breathing heavily. Hadn’t thought about that before, had you, sport? Mars would grow up and date and get married. It was a struggle to get back to sleep after that.

The next morning, we drove separately to Bad Kitty, where I bought them each two toys of their choice and I splurged on one to share. I spent nearly $700 on a Motor Bunny, a large, saddle-like device that held a rotating, vibrating dildo, specifically designed to make them forget I ever existed. They were giggly with excitement. I bought two to take with me as well. After loading that beast in their car, I followed them to Amanda’s favorite jewelry store.

I asked her if buying a ring was something Jan and I should do together or not. She told me that if we both agreed to get married beforehand, we could do that but if I was going to pop the question, it would be nice to have a ring. After much thought, and a lot of help from a friendly and knowledgeable jeweler, I settled on a simple one karat solitaire cut diamond. They had one in stock with very good color and clarity and it only set me back ten thousand dollars, what I had earned by renting my house out for the summer. Jan was worth every penny and more. I wondered for a split second if it was nice enough. That’s how long it took me to know that had been a silly thought. I guessed at her size and didn’t know how to do better than that when Kayla had a brilliant idea. She made a phone call, waited ten minutes and got our answer.

“Tiffany called her and said she was getting rings as a thank a you for everyone and got her size. Six.”

The jeweler said that he would check the setting and clean the ring for free any time we were in town. It took him less than an hour to set the diamond on a simple platinum band with soft edges. Kayla practically sang with excitement for me, making oohs and aahs when sparkles of reflection lit the room. It was a very pretty diamond and the jeweler had the lighting to show it off.

“Young man,” the jeweler said. “I’ve heard you talking about your bride to be with your cousins for the last hour. If she’s half the woman you seem to think she is, then this ring is a good start but it seems to me ... that if she’s all that you say, she’s worth a lot more so you better work hard on your marriage son. Treat her right.”

I shook his hand and thanked him for his help. He congratulated me and asked if I had a picture. I showed the old guy her bikini picture on my phone. He whistled and clutched his heart, smiling.

Shopping finished, we stood together in the parking lot, not quite sure how to say goodbye. I gave them each one more hug and then surprised them with a final un-cousinly kiss. Somehow, in my distorted sense of moral appropriateness, it seemed permissible. Anyone else would have probably found it indefensible. Amanda enjoyed it and held my face in her hands as she loved me. Kayla may have gone a bit beyond simple enjoyment as I could feel her shaking as we neared the end.