Chapter 77: Promises Kept, Promises Broken

November 5, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"You aren't focused, Steve," Sensei Jim said.

We were sitting in his office after practice.

"I know," I said. "I'm preoccupied."

"And distracted. You can't make mistakes like you made today."

"I know," I said, suppressing a sigh that would only enrage my sensei.

"Fortunately, nobody was hurt. When you demonstrate kick combinations, you HAVE to be completely aware of your surroundings and focus on what you're doing. You just missed kicking Will in the head."

"I know. And that's why you had me sit out. It won't happen again."

"It shouldn't have happened the first time! I know you have problems at home, but you can't bring them into the dojo. If you can't focus, then you can't be here. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, Sensei."

He nodded, making it clear that I was dismissed. I got up, bowed, and went outside.

"What did he say?" Jolene asked.

"He told me in his usual firm but polite way to get my head out of my ass."

"You've been off for two weeks now," Jolene said.

"Because of Jess. I mean, it's my fault for not maintaining focus. He told me to fix it or not come back."

"No! You're the most important person here!" Jolene protested.

"He might be," Kara said. "But not if things like what happened today happen."

"I am so fucked," I sighed.

November 6, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"How does Bill do at Phoenix?" Kara asked as we settled into watch the race.

"This is the first time the Cup cars are running there, so nobody knows," I said. "It's new for everyone."

I started laughing when I saw the race intro on ESPN. It was Rusty Wallace and Bill Elliott pretending to be gunfighters in the Old West.

"That was cool!" Kara said.

"I agree. It does come down to them at this point, though Earnhardt could sneak in if Bill and Rusty have problems today and next week."

"I saw that Bill starts sixth. Where does Kulwicki start?"

"21st," I said. "Not very good. Wallace starts second, but Earnhardt starts thirteenth. I'd rather it was the other way around for Ironhead and Rusty, but all Bill needs is two top 5's to guarantee the Cup."

"And keep his promise."

"And keep his promise," I agreed.

It was a great race and while Bill didn't win, he finished fifth, one spot ahead of Rusty Wallace, who had to stop for a splash of gas with two laps to go. Because Rusty had led the most laps, that kept the points they scored for the race even, and with Earnhardt finishing eleventh, Bill only needed eighteenth or better at Atlanta, assuming Wallace won and led the most laps. But all of that paled in comparison to the final result in Phoenix.

"Oh, my God!" Kara had squealed when the checkers fell for Alan Kulwicki.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" I shouted. "Did you see Jason? He looked like he was ready to do a backflip in the pits!"

But it got even better. When Kulwicki came to the start finish line, he turned his car around and circled the track backwards! When Doctor Jerry Punch interviewed him in Victory Lane, he said he wanted to do something special for his first Winston Cup race win. Seeing Jason in Victory Lane was fantastic, and now all I needed was Bill to finish high enough at Atlanta to stay ahead of Rusty Wallace in the points, and despite everything else going on in my life, there would be ONE thing that went right.

About an hour after the race ended, the phone rang. Elyse answered and called me to come to the phone.

"Mrs. Wilton," she whispered.

I took the phone.

"Hi, this is Steve," I said.

"I talked to my niece, but Jessica won't talk to me," Mrs. Wilton said.

"Did Carissa say anything?"

"No. Just that Jess was staying there, but otherwise she didn't know anything."

"Wonderful," I said. "But Jess is OK?"

"Carissa said that she seems OK, but she's barely talking to her. Only the bare minimum to get by."

"Thanks," I said.

After we said 'goodbye', I hung up, and I walked back to Kara to tell her what Jessica's mom had said to me.

"She's totally disconnected from the world," Kara said. "Bethany was afraid that was going to happen."

"Yeah, and I think it confirms your diagnosis of our doctor. I do think that she's pregnant."

November 8, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Isn't this a foregone conclusion?" I asked Elyse.

"Sure. But I like to watch. I assume you voted Libertarian?"

"Yes, Kara and me both. You?"

"Yes; it really didn't matter a whole lot. Bush has it locked. I'd say it looks like the Democrats will gain a seat in the Senate. The Democrats will also hold the House, though it probably won't change much."

"Divided government is good," I said. "It keeps the idiots out of mischief. With Bush promising no taxes and the Democrats wanting to raise spending, I'll be happy for the next four years when not a damn thing happens!"

"Ready for bed?" Kara asked.

"Sure," I agreed.

Kara picked up Birgit, and we went up to our room. She put Birgit into her crib, and then we got into bed.

"How are you holding up?" Kara asked.

"I'm barely hanging in there. I'm really worried about Jessica. I talked to Al earlier today, and he said that he hadn't heard from her. He tried to call her, but she wouldn't take his call."

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" I sighed. "I guess it's time to talk to Gwen about my options."

"Divorce?" Kara asked.

"I hate the idea, but I don't know what else to do."

"Just wait, Snuggle Bear. Let her make the first move. Eventually, she'll have to."

"I guess," I sighed.

"Will you make love with me?"

I pulled her to me and we made love and fell asleep snuggled in each other's arms.

November 10, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"What are we doing for Thanksgiving?" Elyse asked when she came into my office on Thursday.

"Same as usual, I guess," I replied. "We have four recruits from RTC just like the last two years. I'm not sure how good a host I'm going to be, though."

"We'll all help. What about Prajesh and Anala?"

"I left two messages, but Prajesh never called back. I'd say they aren't coming."

"Did you invite anyone else?"

"Just Sofia and Stavros," I replied. "Given my mental state, it didn't make sense to invite anyone else. If it wouldn't make them feel bad, I'd cancel the Navy guys. Did you have someone in mind?"

"Not in particular. Do you know what your friend Jolene and her daughter do?"

"No idea, but Jolene is fiercely independent. I'm not sure she'd come even if we asked. Think Josie and Jennifer."

Which was true, so far as it went. I also didn't want to send the wrong message to either of them.

"I suppose that makes sense. She's a single mom, and that's a really tough thing to do."

"So are you and Kara," I replied. "At least technically."

"Yeah, right!" she laughed. "I may not be married, but I am not a single mom! You're around just about every second of every day! Matthew sees you all the time!"

The phone buzzed.

"Steve, there's a Doctor Lewis here to see you."

"Doctor Lewis?" I asked.

"She said her first name is Alicia."

"Bring her back, please."

Elyse went back to her office and Kimmy brought Alicia to me.

"Hey, Alicia, what's up?"

"Have you heard from Jessica?"

"No. But I thought you didn't care."

"I was upset with the way she was treating me," she said with a shrug. "But she is my friend."

"And do you always proposition your friends' husbands?"

"I'm not looking for a husband, and if the guy doesn't care, I don't care. Good sex is good sex wherever you find it."

"Well, I care. And I'm not going to do that to Jessica."

"Says the guy who has kids with three women!"

"Forget it. Did you come here to check on Jessica or to try to get me to cheat on her?"

"To check on her. Sorry."

"It's OK. Just drop the other stuff, please. Jess and I are still married and unless she does something to change that, we're staying married."

"After all this, you're not giving up on her?"

"No. I'm not. She's my wife and I want her back. No matter what."

"She always said you were a good man. I guess she was right."

She left and Jeri came in so that we could continue working on the Windows version of our software.

November 15, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Happy birthday, Elyse!" we all shouted when she came into the conference room.

"You turkeys!" she laughed. "How did this happen without me signing off on it?"

"I paid for it out of my pocket," I said. "How else could it happen without the CFO knowing about it?"

"And who did all the work?"

"Kimmy and I did it together," I said.

"Remind me to write her up for doing stuff without direct instructions from me!" Elyse laughed.

"I'm still President and majority stockholder, you know!"

"Will you two children stop fighting so we can sing and have cake, please," Julia laughed.

"Yes, Mother!" I deadpanned.

We sang Happy Birthday to Elyse and then she cut the cake and we shared it all around. When we finished, everyone went back to work, and I stayed to help Kimmy clean up.

"Thanks for helping," she said. "It's nice to see the boss do things like this."

"I'm no different from anyone else in the office," I said.

"Yes, you are," she said softly. "You're very different. I hate to see you sad, and you've been really sad recently."

"I know," I said. "Things aren't so good with Jessica."

"Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe cheer you up?"

"Kimmy, you're a sweetheart, but I wouldn't be very good company. And you know the rules."

She put her hand on my arm and stepped close, "I don't care about the rules. I want to help."

"You are just by doing your job. You have a wonderful smile and you're always cheery. Let's not complicate things, please?"

"It's not complicated. It's simple."

"I know, Kimmy. I appreciate it. Let's just finish cleaning up, OK?"

"OK," she replied.

The problem was, I was sorely tempted. Despite everyone around me doing everything that they could to help, a soft, caring shoulder to cry on was attractive. But this soft, caring shoulder had to be off limits, no matter how cute the butt it was connected to was. Kimmy and I finished cleaning up, and I went back to my office to work with Jeri.

We celebrated Elyse's birthday at home as well, and after the celebration, Kara pulled me aside.

"Sleep with her, Snuggle Bear," Kara said. "It's my present to her."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes. She's the mother of your child, well, your children. Enjoy yourself!"

"Thanks. Though you know I'm not all that cheery these days."

"I know. But you and Elyse care deeply for each other, you have a son together, and she's as worried about you as I am."

"OK."

I went to the sunroom where Elyse was playing with Matthew and Jesse.

"Kara has a gift for you," I said.

"Oh?"

"She thought you might like me to spend the night."

"Dada kiss Elyse?" Jesse laughed. "Elyse have baby!"

"Too late, you little turkey!" Elyse laughed. "Aunt Elyse is pregnant."

"Mama have baby!" Matthew said. "Matthew get brother!"

"Or sister," Jesse groaned. "No sisters!"

"I thought you LIKED girls, Jesse!" I said.

"Girls. Not sisters!"

"What about Birgit? You love her!"

"Yes, I love Birgit!"

"She's a sister!"

"No MORE sisters!" he said.

"I'm going to have a boy," Elyse said.

"Good!" Jesse said.

"Now, you little turkey, I'm going to give you back to Mama One so that Dada and I can go kiss!"

Elyse took Jesse back to Jennifer, and I cleaned up the toys and put them in the toy box, then Elyse, Matthew, and I went up to Elyse's room. We put Matthew to bed, then Elyse and I undressed and got into bed.

"He's getting a little big to stay in here while we make love," I said.

"I could put him in the nursery. He likes to sleep there because he feels like a big boy."

"Good idea," I said.

Elyse grabbed her robe and took Matthew and put him to bed in the nursery. She came back, dropped her robe, and got back into bed with me.

"Care to fuck ourselves senseless and then sleep in each other's arms?"

"I'd like that very much," I said, pulling her to me.

November 16, 1988, Chicago Illinois and Los Angeles, California

"Thanks for remembering about Elyse's birthday," I said to Cindi when I met her at O'Hare just before 6:00am on Wednesday morning.

"You're welcome. It makes the trip a bit more rushed, but Barbara has three candidates scheduled for this afternoon, and two for tomorrow morning. We'll be back home around 10:00pm tomorrow. I have résumés for you to review on the flight."

"What about our meeting with Ford, Jackson, and Finch?" I asked.

"We're having lunch there. We have early check in at the hotel, so we can drop our bags and freshen up before lunch."

"Sounds like you have it all covered."

"That's what you pay me for!"

Two hours later, we were cruising over the Great Plains.

"These all look good," I said, indicating the résumés on the tray table with my coffee cup.

"I thought so. Are you going to tell me what's going on? I haven't seen Jessica in a month! She wasn't at the party and you stopped going to the hospital every afternoon."

"Jess left me," I said simply.

"And you felt this was information you should keep from your friends?" Cindi reprimanded.

"It's a shitty situation. And there are things I can't tell you, at least not yet."

"But you can tell Elyse?" she said accusingly.

"Cindi, trust me. I have to keep most of what's going on private right now. Elyse found out because she happened to be there when everything went down. And obviously, I had to tell Kara. Julia knows that Jess left, but no details."

"Jesus, Steve! What did you do?"

"Nothing," I said. "Well, nothing since she and I met. Something that happened years ago reared its ugly head and Jess became so upset that she left me. She was suspended at work, too."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she said, a bit too loud, causing several heads to turn.

"I wish I was," I sighed.

"So you're just taking this lying down? Giving up?"

"No, not at all. I went to her hearing and tried to help, despite the fact that she won't talk to me. I've been talking to her mentor, her mom, her friend, anyone who I thought could help. It's up to Jess. In a few weeks, things should be a lot clearer, and there's an outside chance that it'll resolve itself. I doubt it, but it's possible."

"I don't even know what to say, except that I want to help."

"I know. But nobody can help me right now."

Our flight was a few minutes late, but because Cindi and I each had only one carry-on bag, we could go straight from the gate to the line for the taxis. We arrived at the hotel at 11:30am, checked in, and just before noon, walked across California Plaza to the building where Ford, Jackson, and Finch was located.

"Welcome!" Ben Jackson said. "Thanks for taking the time to visit us!"

"I couldn't come to LA and NOT visit our best customer! Did Cindi tell you why we're here?"

"Yes, and I have to say that I'm pleased. It shows that you take your West Coast business very seriously. That will give you three people here, correct?"

"Yes. One sales person and two support staff," Cindi said.

"Great! Come on, let's go to the conference room and have some lunch, and you can tell us all about what you're working on."

We followed him to the conference room, where a catered lunch and nearly a dozen lawyers and paralegals were waiting for us. After introductions, we started eating and Cindi talked about the changes coming in our new version, and then turned the floor over to me to discuss the Windows prototype.

"One of our other programmers and I will come back in January to show you what we've been working on. I think you'll really appreciate what it allows, such as viewing multiple records on the screen at the same time, and having a document open on the screen while you have our application open."

"When do you think that will be available for us to actually use?" Mr. Ford asked.

"Sometime during the Summer, we think," I said. "We'll know more in January. What we're going to show you will work, it just won't be complete."

"I think we'll use the larger conference room for that," Ben Jackson said. "I want as many of our staff to see this as possible!"

Cindi and I exchanged a quick look. That was going to be a heck of a challenge for Jeri. I could only hope she didn't freeze up, and I had to be prepared to step in at any time. She was still very nervous about making the trip, and I wasn't convinced that she'd even get on the airplane. Our contingency was to have Alonzo come with me, but I really hoped that wasn't necessary because he wasn't nearly as well-versed as Jeri was.