Chapter 65: Public Persona

September 11, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

I walked home slowly, trying to figure out what was going on with Jolene. The problem was that Hope kept popping back into my mind and I couldn't banish the thoughts. I tried hard, because the last thing I needed was a relationship with a fourteen-year-old. My real concern had to be with Jolene, and whatever the problem was. I tried to piece together the small bits of evidence that I had.

She'd been upset about not being promoted and hadn't been able to find out why. She'd gone to see Sensei Jim after class on Saturday, and then skipped our training session this morning. And when I'd seen her, she'd simply walked inside her apartment building. I had my suspicions, but only Sensei Jim could confirm them, and it really wasn't my place to ask him. But there was something I could do.

When I arrived home, I went to my den and dialed Sensei Jim's phone number. His wife, Krista, answered and called him to the phone.

"Sensei, Jolene didn't show up for our training session this morning. When I called her house, I got her machine. Her daughter stopped by the dojo because she got the message and was surprised her mom wasn't at the dojo. I walked her daughter home, and we saw Jolene, but she hurried inside instead of talking to me."

"Give her some space, Steve. Just let her work through her issues. I'm sorry you wasted your time this morning."

"Actually, I used the time to practice my kata. Are you sure that she'll be OK? Should I try to call her?"

"No, just let it go for now. She'll be fine. As I said, just give her a bit of space."

"OK, Sensei," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up and went upstairs to shower, then joined my wives for lunch. I told them what had happened, and Jessica's advice was the same as Sensei Jim's — to let Jolene have her space. Kara was concerned, but in the end, agreed that it probably was a good idea to let it go for a few days. I kept Hope's parting comment to myself. That was a bit of trouble I didn't need.

We settled in on the couch, cuddling together. Birgit was with us, as were Matthew and Jesse. Jesse had become interested in racing and Matthew was like his shadow at this point. The race was in Richmond, and Bill was starting 20th, which normally didn't bode well, but given where his competition was starting, it might not be all bad. Dale Earnhardt was starting to his left in 19th, and Rusty Wallace was behind Earnhardt, starting in 21st, which helped. That wasn't the norm for those two, especially Earnhardt. If Bill could just stay with them, he'd be in good shape.

The green flag had barely dropped when Richard Petty and Lake Speed wrecked. The caution flag came out, and it looked like Lake Speed's car was fairly trashed, while Petty's didn't look so bad. Suddenly, a melee in the front stretch led to several other cars being heavily damaged, including Rusty Wallace's #27. Somehow, Bill and Earnhardt avoided the wreck that also involved Geoff Bodine.

Wallace's car was too heavily damaged to drive and had to be towed back to the garage. If Bill finished the race, he'd put Wallace in a serious hole with regard to the championship. After a series of cautions for the usual bashing and banging that occurred on a short track, Earnhardt got out in front, and Bill kept pace. Elliott actually led lap 88, though following his pit stop, Earnhardt ended up in the lead again.

Ultimately, Davey Allison dominated the day. Neither Earnhardt nor Elliott could keep up with him, and neither of them got back into the lead. When the checkered flag fell, it was Davey Allison out front with a charging Earnhardt behind him. Bill turned in a very respectable seventh, and with Rusty Wallace's early trouble, Bill solidified his points lead. Earnhardt gained enough points on Wallace to move past him into second place 117 points behind Elliott. Wallace was two points behind Earnhardt now, and fourth place Terry Labonte was 397 points off the lead.

"Not bad," I said. "Bill finishing seventh on a short track is exactly what he needed. Wallace wrecking on the second lap pretty much screwed him. Seven races to go, and next week is Dover, a mile-long track. I'd say Bill's in decent shape."

"You're singing a different tune than you were earlier in the season!" Kara said.

"I know. Things look good now, but one bad race can really screw you. Look what happened to Wallace. He was 26 points behind and now he's 119 points back. One race."

"He'll do it, Tiger," Jessica said.

"And this comes from your depth of racing knowledge, Doctor Adams?" I teased.

"No, from his promise to Stephie."

She had a point. A very good point.

September 12, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Jessica and I would love to come to dinner," I told Jacquelyn after our run.

"Great! I know you go to karate every night, so maybe on a Sunday evening?" she suggested.

"Sure, that would work," I said. "Let me know."

"I will! You have to be really nice, so they let me go to dinner with you!"

I chuckled, "I will. Have you ever known me to be anything but nice?"

"No," she giggled. "You're a sweetheart. You treat me nice, and you've really helped me. I appreciate it!"

"You're doing a great job on our runs, and a great job in class. Keep it up!"

"I will! See you tomorrow!"

She ran up the steps and went into the house. I headed home for a shower, and to eat breakfast with Kara.

"Looks like things are heating up in the Baltics," I said. "300,000 people demonstrating for independence in Estonia is a serious escalation."

"What do you think the Russians will do?" Kara asked.

"Good question. I'm not sure they can send in the military, but they could round up the ringleaders, or whoever, and send a pretty clear message."

"Do you think Estonia could actually break away from the Soviet Union?"

"No; well, not anytime soon, anyway. Gorbachev can't survive something like that, even if he wanted to allow it, and I don't think that he does. Hungary and Czechoslovakia tried it before, and they were crushed. They weren't even part of the land that USSR considers part of Russian territory."

After breakfast, I then went out to my car. I had an appointment in Bensenville to evaluate a conversion from a PRIME to an IBM RT system. It made a lot of sense given that the cost of the IBM system was less than the annual maintenance contract on the PRIME 2250, which they were currently using. Even with our charges, they'd make their money back in eighteen months, and their ongoing costs would be significantly lower in the years to follow.

I spent about an hour looking over the programs and the data, and everything seemed straightforward. I made my notes and promised that we'd have a proposal back to them by the end of the week. To me, it looked like about two weeks of work to do the conversion, and then another week to install the system and wire all the terminals to it. I was back in the office by noon.

"We have an appointment with the bishop tomorrow afternoon at 2:00pm," Jeri said.

"OK," I said. "We'll start working on the programs as soon as we get the signed agreement. Until then, we'll keep working on the prototypes in the mornings, and when I have free time."

"Great! I think Cindi was looking for you."

"Thanks," I said.

I went to Cindi's office, and she asked if I could interview her support candidate on Thursday. I told her that I could, and she said she'd set it up for Thursday morning. She said that she'd reviewed my speech for Friday and thought it was good. She reminded me to be at the Sheraton O'Hare at 7:30am on Friday, and I promised that I'd be there.

September 14, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Sensei, I'm concerned about Jolene."

She hadn't shown up at the dojo for the third straight class, and as far as I could remember, except when she'd been on vacation, she never missed more than two nights in a row.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yes, Sensei."

"Give her time. That's all I'm saying."

"OK," I said,

I bowed and walked out of his office to join my wives and sister.

"What did he say?" Jessica asked after we walked out of the dojo.

"The same thing he said on Sunday, basically. I really think I should call her, but he's effectively told me not to. Something is wrong, and I want to help."

"Do you think he told her that she won't advance? Or do you think it's something else?"

"Hell if I know," I sighed. "I have exactly zero information at the moment, beyond knowing that she talked to Sensei on Saturday and that she's been struggling with not being promoted."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Wait, I guess. I'll probably go to the dojo on Sunday morning to see if she shows up."

"That makes sense, at least for this week."

"I just feel bad about it."

"You can't fix everyone, Big Brother," my sister said.

"I know. But I'm not trying to fix everyone. Just Jolene."

"And Jacqui," Jessica said. "Is dinner on for Sunday?"

"Yes, sorry, I should have told you when I picked you up at work today. It's at 5:00pm; they know you have to be up early on Monday for work."

"All you can do is offer your help," Jessica said. "If Jolene won't take it, you can't force her to."

"I know THAT," I said, exasperated. "But I can't even talk to her right now!"

"Don't you think she knows that you're ready, willing, and able to help? At least so far as you can?"

"Yes, I'm sure she does," I said.

"Then wait for her to come to you."

"Yeah," I sighed.

September 16, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"I'm glad you liked my second-choice candidate," Cindi said, as we sat drinking coffee at the Sheraton O'Hare on Friday morning.

"He didn't raise any red flags at all, and he seems like a really good guy. I just had really bad vibes from Brenda that turned out to be warranted. I got no such vibes from Ralph."

"We're not having our business development meeting today, and I haven't been in the office since Monday. Did you get the deal with the church?"

"Yes," I replied. "We set the rates low because we're going to use the work we're doing for them to learn enough so that version 4 of the legal software can be Windows-based."

"But we'll still offer the DOS-based front-end as well, right?"

"Yes," I said. "It'll be some double work, but in the long run, everyone will convert. This allows us to transition smoothly. Dave is going to have Greg do a serious rewrite of the back-end for version 4. What are we saying about all of that today?"

"I have that covered," Cindi said. "Please don't raise it in your keynote and do NOT talk to anyone about it."

"Yes, Ma'am!" I chuckled.

"I'm serious. Something like this could freak some people out. Change is scary, especially for lawyers, but also for doctors. Speaking of which, is Jessica coming to the dinner tonight?"

"Yes, and so is Kara. Veronica has the kids. Why?"

"Just remember what we discussed. Avoid the whole relationship topic as best you can."

I sighed, "I fucking hate this. If it's a problem, why am I here? And why am I hosting the dinner?"

"Because it's your company. We talked about this, Steve. Just play it cool and everything will be OK. I talked to your wives and they know the score."

"You talked to my wives? What the fuck, Cindi?! Stay out of my private life!"

"Listen to me, you arrogant ass! Do you want to ruin your company? You HAVE to do this. And just as Jessica kept things quiet at work until people knew her, you have to do that with our customers. Once they know you, and trust you, if it leaks out, it's no big deal. But before that? It could ruin you."

"You know what? At this point, I think it's probably better for you to tell them I'm sick. I'll just go home."

"Jesus Christ!" Cindi spat. "And I thought your 'drama queen' days were over. You can't do that and not have it reflect badly on NIKA. Just give your speech and then host the dinner. No libertarian rants. No bitching about the drinking age. No lobbying to change the age of consent. And no 'in your face' comments about your wives and children. This is important. If you can't handle it, then maybe we should just all pack it in."

"Now who's being the drama queen?" I asked snarkily.

"Just do this, Steve. Your customers want to see stability. They want to see a level-headed, intelligent, confident leader. If you can't, our customers will be easy pickings for the Boston Legal Systems of the world. And you know they aren't our only competition."

"I know. I do read your memos. Human Services Computing in Madison, Wisconsin, is serious competition for our medical software. And they aren't the only one."

"The woman who founded that company, Judith Faulkner, is twenty years older than you are, and their company has been in business since 1979. She's married, and has a Master's in computer science."

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"Opposition research, of course. You do pay me to be in charge of sales, marketing, and support."

"I do indeed," I smiled.

"So, if a doctor has a choice between her and you, what do you think will happen if you spout off? Look, most everyone at NIKA agrees with your libertarian views. Doctors and lawyers don't want to hear it. When you're REALLY established, you can be as eccentric as you want. But not today. I know you know it, otherwise you wouldn't be wearing a tailored suit, a custom fitted shirt, a nice tie, suspenders, and wing-tips. You look damned good. You learned how to dress with style from someone who knew how to do it. Do you think that old Italian would let you get away with doing anything other than playing the role of the conservative businessman?"

No, he certainly wouldn't, I thought. If there was a more conservative person than Don Joseph had been, I didn't know who it might be. He had been classy and understated. Never showy. And he kept most of his opinions to himself, except in private. Which was what Cindi was telling me to do. I couldn't resist one try at humor.

"So no making fun of Governor Dukakis and that stupid photo op in the M1 tank?" I grinned.

"No! As funny as it was, you don't know how many Democrats or Republicans are in that audience, and you shouldn't care."

"I promise to be a good boy," I sighed.

"Just do it, Steve. You know that I'm right. You don't have to like it. You know me well enough to know that the conservative dress and style is a persona — a mask, a front. It's what I need to do to be successful. It's all about establishing credibility. You are a damned good programmer, probably one of the best there is at what you do. And that's because you're focused on a goal and determined to do what it takes to achieve it. Well, do the same thing as President of NIKA Consulting."

I finished my coffee, and we walked to the small ballroom where our users were gathering. Julia and Dave were already sitting on chairs on the dais, and Elyse was preparing slides for the overhead projector. Cindi and I walked to the front and took our places, and Elyse joined us a moment later. Cindi looked at me, and I nodded. She got up and went to the podium.

"Welcome to the first annual NIKA Consulting User Group meeting! My name is Cindi Eggert, and I am the Head of Marketing, Sales, and Support. I thank you all for attending. Before we start the formal part of the meeting, I want to go over the agenda, as well as the details for tonight's dinner."