Chapter 30: Holiday Season, Part I

December 2, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"That ended pretty much as I expected," I said to Jackie when she came back from walking Penny home.

Penny had arrived with Ned about 7:00pm and ten minutes later, he had stormed from the house, his face showing a mix of anger and sadness. He had left Penny standing at the door of the Indian room in tears, calling his name. I wasn't surprised by what happened, and could only hope that at some point Ned would talk to Penny again.

"She's pretty upset. I just told Alice that Penny and Ned broke up and that she had talked to me because I was visiting. Hopefully, Alice won't push things with Penny; I know Penny doesn't want to tell her."

"Did you convince her to get tested?" I asked.

"Yes," Jackie said. "It was pretty simple once I got her calmed down a bit. She said she'd go to the clinic on Monday."

"It was SO much easier when we were that age," I said.

"That was only six years ago!" Jackie laughed.

"A lot has changed! HIV wasn't in the straight, non-drug-using community. Heck, I'd never even heard of AIDS in 1981! I only knew one person to have an STD in High School. And mostly a good dose of antibiotics solved the problem in the past. Now? I'd have a tough time being with anyone who hadn't been tested."

Jackie looked at me with a mirthful smile, "Your wives still let you play around?"

"Within certain limits," I said.

"Interesting. Anyway, Penny said she'd talk to you in a few days. She's totally bummed that she disappointed you. She wants you to respect her and see her only in a positive light."

"I know," I said. "I told her that she disappointed me on purpose. I wanted her to understand just how serious what she did was. It's one thing to play around. It's a very different thing to cheat. Penny and I have a very intimate, but non-sexual, relationship. It's why Jess would never, ever let me be with Penny again. And Jess is right. It would open a whole can of worms that could wreck all of our relationships."

"Because you love Penny so dearly?"

"As she loves me," I nodded. "So we have to keep a safe distance. It's why I didn't want any details about the guy, and why I called you to talk to her. This is one topic that I couldn't help her with. It needed a feminine touch."

"That girl would walk a mile on hot coals for you," Jackie said.

"And I'd do the same for her. Which just proves the point. Anyway, we need to get back to the group."

"Why the rush? Nobody will think the two of US are screwing. We only think that when you and Kathy disappear together!"

"Smart ass!" I chuckled. "And you all know that will never happen because I couldn't do that to Kurt."

"I've been meaning to ask. How are you doing? You know, after Stephie?"

"OK. I think about her a lot. But she did the right thing in telling me not to come see her once she started to deteriorate. I hated her for that at first, but she was right. I remember her for how she was, and for all the good things we did together. I have moments of melancholy, but it's not like it was with Birgit."

"Stephie was a wonderful girl. Life just isn't fair sometimes."

"Tell me about it," I sighed.

December 3, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"Steve, can I talk to you?" Tasha asked when she came to work on Tuesday afternoon.

"Sure," I said, getting up from my desk.

We went to one of the small meeting rooms and I shut the door behind us.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked.

"Huh?" I said. "Why would you think that?"

"You've barely talked to me since, we, uhm, you know."

"Tasha Zhukov, I am not upset with you! And you certainly can say what we did!"

She laughed and blushed, "Fine. Since we had sex! There! I said it. Happy?"

I chuckled, "I've just been busy and preoccupied. Please don't read anything into it."

"Could I see you again?" she asked quietly.

"You can see me right now!" I teased.

"Don't be a jerk! You know what I meant!"

I did, and that presented a problem. Jessica wasn't angry with me, but she also hadn't loosened the reins and I didn't expect her to do so anytime soon, if at all.

"Remember what I said about Jessica having to give permission? And that we might only have that one time together?"

Tasha nodded slowly, "Yes, but I hoped I might get another chance."

"You'd have to take that up with Jessica, and I'm not sure that the best idea right at the moment."

"Why? Did something happen? Is she mad about what we did?"

I was torn as to whether or not I should tell her, and decided that I had to, because Tasha going to Jessica to ask might make the situation worse. I also didn't want Tasha to think that I didn't like her or that I was using her and then casting her aside.

"Jessica was upset with me because we didn't use a condom. I'd promised her that I would, and then I didn't. It's not about you, Tasha. It's about me keeping my word to my wife."

Her face fell, "So if I'd let you use a rubber, we could've done it again?"

"There's no guarantee that would have been the case, but probably, yes."

She pouted, "That stinks!"

"It does, but I have to say, I very much enjoyed how you felt."

Her pout change to a smile, "I really liked it when you came. That felt so cool!"

"I don't know if or when Jessica will change her mind, so for now, we'll just have to have those memories," I said.

"They're good ones!" Tasha smiled. "Hey, is everything OK with Penny? She's been really quiet and seems sad."

"She and Ned broke up," I said.

"Oh! She didn't tell me. I guess that explains it."

It did, to a point. And unless Penny was willing to share details, that was all Tasha could know. There wasn't really anything else to say, so Tasha and I went back to our workstations.

"Is everything OK with Tasha?" Penny asked.

"She speaks!" I teased.

Penny sighed, "Sorry. I've just been depressed and haven't felt like talking."

"How can I help?"

She giggled, "A good, hard fuck would be perfect. But you aren't allowed, so how about a hug?"

I stood up, and she melted into my arms with a sigh. I hugged her tight for a few minutes, then she kissed my cheek and sat back down.

"Thanks," she said. "I'm glad you're my friend."

"I'm glad you're my friend, too."

December 7, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"Another plane crash," Elyse sighed.

"Now what?" I asked.

"A Pacific Southwest Airlines flight crashed near a city in California. I think they said it was Paso Robles. Supposedly, there was no report of trouble to air traffic control and the plane appears to have completely disintegrated on impact."

"How many people?"

"44 passengers and crew. It was a small jet."

"I wonder what could have happened," I said. "Something that knocked out the pilot and co-pilot? Were there any reports from witnesses?"

"Not yet."

"Damn! This just makes you want to swear off flying, even though I know that, statistically speaking, driving is much more dangerous."

"True, but I know what you mean. It seems like more planes are crashing than ever before. I'm sorry, were you heading off to karate practice?"

"Yes, but you can stop me anytime." I smiled. " I'll see you later."

"Don't get worn out at practice!" she smirked.

We had a date, though I wasn't allowed to spend the night. I felt bad for Elyse, but Jessica had pulled hard on the reins. The bit of freedom that I'd had with Elyse when I'd spent the night with her was gone, at least for the time being.

"I promise you'll get my full attention, with plenty of energy for whatever you want!" I said with a grin.

I met Kara, Sofia, and my sister at the door. With the temperature in the upper 30s, we donned coats over our gi and walked to the dojo. The girls didn't come every Monday night, but all three of them wanted the exercise because they were studying hard for finals which were coming up the next week. After practice, I took a quick shower, and then Elyse and I went to her room.

"Where's Matthew?" I asked as we undressed and got into bed.

"With Alejandra. She really enjoys watching him. I didn't want him disturbing us!"

"I bet!" I chuckled. "What can I do for you?"

"Just love me, please. You know what I like."

I did. She liked exactly what I liked — slow, loving, missionary position sex. A far cry from the past, when sex with Elyse had been the adventure of a lifetime.

December 9, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"They signed the treaty yesterday," Elyse said as we walked with Matthew and Jesse to Washington Park on Wednesday.

"I heard," I replied. "Gorbachev seemed to really mean it. He's trying to slowly change things internally in the Soviet Union and signing the Intermediate Range Nuclear Forces treaty is a good thing. Both countries still have enough missiles to wipe out the world several times over, but it's a start."

"What does Tanya think about all of this?"

"As a diplomat, she's happy. Her job is easier when there's less conflict. That's especially true for her father, given he's in the Ministry of Trade."

"Dada?" Jesse said.

"Yes?"

"Want to see Tanya! Want to dance with soldiers!"

"You really liked that, didn't you?" I chuckled.

"Yes!" he said.

"I think we'll go visit again, but it might not be until Jesse is five."

"Five?"

"Yes, five."

"Want to go to Disney World!"

Elyse laughed, "I think he's watching too much TV!"

"Duck Tales!" Jesse laughed. "Donald Duck!"

"I'll talk to your moms," I said. "Do you watch TV with Beverly?"

"Yes! Speed Racer and Gummi Bears!"

I was concerned about that. If she was just sticking him in front of the TV, she wasn't doing what I expected of her. I hoped Jennifer and Josie agreed with me on that issue. I'd need to talk to them about it, and soon. When we arrived at the park, Jesse grabbed Francesca and kissed her, and they walked away. They were cute, holding hands, walking around away from us adults.

"How are things going at home?" I asked Carol.

"Good. Great, actually. Stan asked me to marry him."

"Did you say yes?" I teased.

"Of course, silly!"

"And you got Francesca's approval?"

"She just turned two!"

"Did you at least tell her?"

"No. I will when it gets closer."

I thought that was a really bad idea. Granted, Carol had to decide what was in her own best interest, but for something like that, I would have at least told Jesse about it. Francesca was at about the same stage of development as Jesse, though he was three months younger than she was.

"When?" I asked.

"August, before school starts, so we can go on a honeymoon."

"Are you still taking classes?"

"Yes. I still want to finish and be a teaching assistant."

"I still think you should tell Francesca right away, but that's just my opinion. You have to do what you think is right."

"She's just a baby!" Carol protested.

"No, she's a toddler, and I suspect that she is WAY more aware of what's going on than you think she is. Have you had Stan stay the night?"

"That's none of your business!" she huffed.

That was a 'yes', even though she hadn't answered directly. And Francesca, even though she had just turned two, would sense what was going on. I was sure of it. Jesse had already grasped the relationship between kissing and mommies and daddies, even if it was simplistic understanding. He also had some idea of mommies, daddies, and babies, though it too was simplistic. I guessed the same was true for Francesca, because she'd seen Elyse and me together, and knew that Matthew was my son, just like Jesse was.

"Suit yourself," I shrugged.

"Steve, why don't you take Matthew for a walk," Elyse said.

I nodded and picked Matthew up from his carriage. I walked down the path that would take me in an oval around the area of the park where Carol, Elyse, and the kids were. My guess was that Elyse was going to try to talk Carol into telling Francesca. I realized that she was young, but I was sure I was right about her sensing that something was going on.

I remembered Kyle when he was little, and how quickly he'd figured things out. He had taught me that most adults seriously misjudged how much little kids understood about the world around them. My time with him had given me some insight into how to deal with my own children, and I hoped that Carol would listen to what I hoped Elyse was saying to her.

I finished the circuit and Elyse signaled it was OK to come back to where they were. It was almost time to head back to the house so we could get back to work, so I put Matthew in the carriage and called Jesse over. We all said 'goodbye', and after Jesse hugged Francesca, we started the walk home.

"She's not going to tell her, is she?" I asked.

"No. Not until July. She doesn't think Francesca can understand."

"Bullshit," I said, exasperated. "Kyle had the whole mommy and daddy thing figured out when he was two. I mean, at least as far as a toddler can understand that. His mom was single, and he knew he wanted a daddy. And Jesse, he has it figured out pretty well, to the point where he teases Jen and me about kissing!"

Elyse laughed, "Do NOT judge other kids by Jesse. He's so far ahead of the curve it isn't even funny! But I agree with you. The thing is, Carol gets to raise her kids the way she wants to, just as you do."

I sighed, "I agree. It's just that she's wrong."

"And you'll never make any mistakes raising YOUR kids? Ever?"

"Oh, I'm sure that I will, and you can be sure that Jesse will be first in line to point them out!"

Elyse laughed. We dropped the kids at home and headed back to the office. Dave waved me over, and I walked over to his desk.

"The computer store sent over our copy of Windows 2.0. Greg is looking at it. He's not impressed."

We walked over to Greg's desk.

"They copied the Macintosh OS, but they did a pretty piss-poor job. The windows can overlap now, which they couldn't in Windows 1.0, but otherwise, there are only minor changes. But I swear, it's almost a direct copy of Macintosh System 5, though not quite. The new Multifinder on the Mac lets you run multiple programs at the same time, and Windows is limited to 640K of RAM, and because you have DOS beneath it, it's far more limited than the Mac."

"A direct copy?" I asked.

"Yeah," Greg said. "If I were Apple, I'd sue the shit out of them for stealing their stuff. If somebody copied my stuff this way, I'd sure as hell be pissed. I'm waiting to see what Steve Jobs comes up with at NeXT. The Amiga from Commodore is pretty damn cool, and if they keep at it, they could knock Apple out. Or NeXT could. I don't think the Atari 1040ST is going anywhere, though it's decent. I hate to say it, but Apple is in pretty deep trouble. Microsoft copying them will hurt them, too."

"I prefer the Mac, but we make our money from IBM compatibles. Well, we've made a lot from PRIME systems, and we're starting to make some from Unix, but we have to be smart."

"Oh, I agree. But Microsoft stuff is just, well, it's inelegant."

And that was the most damning thing that Greg could say about anything. It was his ultimate word of contempt.

December 11, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"I need to go shopping!" I said as Jessica, Kara, and I walked out of the theatre at Water Tower Place late on Friday evening.

"Shopping?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah. Suspenders and ties. I love Michael Douglas' look."

"I just can't see you saying 'Greed is good!'" Kara said. "That doesn't fit you."

"No way! I liked Gordon Gekko's style, but not his attitude. Charlie Sheen quoting Sun Tzu was awesome," I said. "And I wouldn't mind Daryl Hannah!"