Chapter 22: Halloween Weekend, Part I

October 26, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

The call I was expecting came just before 3:00pm on Monday afternoon.

"You're killing me!" Dante Puccini screamed into the phone.

"Dante, could you please not scream into the phone," I said, trying to sound as calm as I possibly could.

"Hey, if somebody tried to stick it up your ass, you'd scream!"

I suppressed a chuckle. Elyse HAD done that, and a whole lot more, and I hadn't screamed.

"Dante, you asked us to solve a problem that every single vendor said wasn't solvable. We came up with a creative solution. I'm not charging you a dime for the work we did to come up with the solution, nor am I charging you for the time we spent testing it. I'm only charging you for the computers and software licenses that you need and the time to implement it in your office."

"I feel like I'm being raped! And what is this shit in this letter from your attorney?"

"It explains the limits of what our solution provides."

"I can read it! But it's bullshit!"

"Dante, it simply lays out exactly what we're promising."

"It limits your god-damned liability! If you sell it to me, you have to back it up!"

"I don't know what to tell you, Dante. This is the only thing that we could come up with. It works within the parameters outlined in the letter. That's all I can do for you."

"You know what? You can shove the letter up your ass! You're fired!"

I had expected that kind of response. I hoped that when he calmed down, he'd change his mind, but I'd discussed it with Julia and Jamie, and how we'd respond.

"That's your prerogative. I'm sorry you feel this way. I'll have the team stop working on your account, send you all the work product you've paid for, and have Elyse send you a final invoice if there's anything outstanding."

"Don't bother. You aren't getting another dime from me!"

I heard the phone slam down. I gently replaced the handset and walked out of my office. I motioned for Dave and Elyse, and the three of us went into Julia's office.

"Dante just fired us," I said. "He's upset because of the cost, but I think what set him off was the 'limitation of liability and limited warranty' document that Jamie put together for us."

"I was afraid of that," Julia said. "But I agreed with Jamie that we had to put that in writing, given the limitations and his threat to sue us."

"Oh, I think he's contemplating that right now," I said. "He didn't say so, but given his volatility, he might. I told him we'd give him any work product that he's paid for and send him a final invoice. He said he won't pay it if we do. Elyse, do you know how much he owes us?"

"Less than $500. If he's that upset, sending him the invoice might push him over the edge."

"I hate to eat it, but I think we might have to," Julia said.

"Just run the invoice, but don't put it in the mail just yet," I said.

"Think he'll calm down and relent?" Dave asked.

"There's a chance," I said. "But don't count on it."

"OK. I'll get Charlie onto something else. We have some custom programming work that's been waiting for a programmer to be freed up."

"And I'll give Jamie a call," Julia said. "You guys can get back to work."

"Yes, Boss!" I chuckled, and went back to my office.

October 27, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"Ready for the visit to the pediatrician?" Elyse asked, coming into my office on Tuesday morning.

"Yep," I said, getting up from my desk.

I picked up Matthew from the blanket on the floor where he'd been sleeping, and after letting Dave know I was headed out, Elyse and I left for the medical building next to the hospital. We were fifteen minutes early for Matthew's appointment, as required by the doctor, and, much to my annoyance, the doctor was running nearly thirty minutes late.

"You know, if I ran my business this way, I'd be out of business," I said.

"Maybe he had an emergency," Elyse offered.

"Then call and say that he's running late, rather than have us cool our heels in the waiting room."

"Just relax and enjoy your time with Matthew and me."

"I prefer the time in your room!" I whispered.

"That's what got us into this mess in the first place!" she giggled.

"And it will again!" I said.

"Late Summer or early fall of next year," she said. "But until then, we can still practice!"

"Jess gave me permission to be with you even after our second kid is born," I said.

Elyse smiled, "I know. She was so sweet when I talked to her about it."

"Don't let that interfere with finding a steady boyfriend, which is what you said you wanted."

"I won't. But I'm glad we can still make love whenever we want. Now, if I could just get her to let you sleep with me!"

"That's pretty unlikely," I said. "That was one of her ground rules, and I totally see her point. When she was still in Indianapolis, she gave me some leeway, but now? No. And given how she's let me have even more freedom, I'm not going to argue with her about it!"

"You did find the perfect situation."

"It's mostly Kara's doing, and no, that's not a complaint. Between you and Kara, you helped me develop a perfect set of relationships."

"Matthew Clarke?" a nurse called from the door, twenty-eight minutes after our scheduled time.

The three of us got up and followed her to an exam room. After taking his vitals, weighing him, and measuring him, the nurse left. Five minutes later, Doctor Crenshaw came into the room.

"Everything looks good on the chart," he said. "Any complaints or questions from Mom or Dad?"

"No," Elyse said. "He's a generally happy baby, and he's mostly sleeping through the night, so I'm happy, too!"

Doctor Crenshaw nodded, "Good. No anxiety or sad feelings on your part?"

"None. Steve does a good job of providing emotional support, and he helps with the kids."

"Kids? You have others besides Matthew?"

I smiled, "I have another son, Jesse, with my friend Jennifer. And my wife, Kara, is pregnant."

"You two aren't married?" he asked, taken slightly aback.

"No. Elyse is a very, very close friend. We agreed to have kids together a long time ago. And yes, both my wives are very supportive of her and of Jennifer."

"Both your wives? Excuse me?" he said, now looking very concerned.

"It's complicated," Elyse said. "But it's all out in the open and Steve is a good dad. And it has nothing to do with Matthew's health."

Doctor Crenshaw took a deep breath and let it out, "Developmentally, he's right on target for his age. I'll do a quick exam and you can be on your way."

That last comment was perfunctory, and almost dismissive. He was clearly uncomfortable with my relationships, but I didn't care, because the concern wasn't me or Elyse, but Matthew. He completed the exam in less than ten minutes.

"We do recommend that all boys be circumcised," he said.

"So you'll let some doctor chop off the end of your penis, will you?" Elyse asked.

He winced, much as I had when Josie had made the point to me.

"There are health benefits," he said lamely.

"Not if it's kept clean properly," I said. "The point Elyse made is one that was made by one of the moms of my son Jesse, and despite the fact that I'm circumcised, I agree with her."

"One of the moms?" he asked.

"Jesse's mom is a lesbian and is married to Josie. So Jesse has two moms and a dad."

Doctor Crenshaw shook his head. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn't comment.

"We'll see you in six months," he said instead of responding to what I'd said.

We dressed Matthew, and after paying our small co-payment at the desk, headed back to the office.

"He does NOT approve of our situation," I said.

"I noticed," Elyse said. "Jennifer and Josie take Jesse to the same practice, but a different pediatrician. They never said anything negative about her."

"It's your call, but I'd see if we can switch Matthew to the same pediatrician that Jesse sees."

"I'll double-check with Jennifer, but I think you're right."

"Some day the world will get its collective head out of its ass," I sighed.

"Don't count on it," Elyse replied ruefully.

October 31, 1987, Chicago, Illinois

"I wish I could go to the recital with you two," Jessica said on Saturday morning as we approached the hospital. "But I couldn't get the time off this afternoon. And I'm bummed about the Halloween Party!"

"Hopefully next year will be better," I said. "Plus, Halloween is during the week, so maybe Elyse can work around your schedule. Also, Doctor Barton told me that they're going to videotape the recital. He's going to get us a copy so we could watch it later."

An ambulance came down the street with sirens blaring, and I saw that it was followed by a second ambulance.

"Duty calls!" Jessica said. "Have fun today and tonight!"

Kara and I each got a quick kiss, and then Jessica sprinted into the ER to start her day.

"How are we handling giving out candy tonight?" Kara asked. "I never checked with Elyse."

"Everyone who lives in the house or the coach house will take a fifteen minute shift, and Jorge volunteered for one, so we can cover the entire three hours from when the party starts at 7:00pm. Before that, whoever is around will just answer the door."

"Elyse really is organized!"

"She does plan good parties," I said.

"Think we'll win the costume contest?" she asked.

"Maybe. It depends on what Jamie and Jackie come up with. I think he's more or less out of Harrison Ford movies. The last one, The Mosquito Coast, didn't really lend itself to a costume."

"Who's babysitting tonight?"

"Fawn. She's spending the night so that the moms can actually enjoy the party."

"Spending the night?" Kara giggled.

"No way! Absolutely not! Not even if she was twenty-five and her dad was retired and living in Patagonia!"

"She's that dangerous?"

"I'd rather take my chances against Dmitry Grigoryev's 1st Guards Tank Army. By myself!"

"Don't think you could handle her?" Kara teased.

"What I think doesn't matter! It's her dad! I think I'd have better luck with you and Jess after having a threesome with Becky and Penny!"

"Jerk!" Kara laughed. "You know that I'm teasing you!"

"And I'm teasing right back!"

"Speaking of the 1st Guards Tank Army, did you ever hear from those two officers you exchanged addresses with?"

"We exchanged a letter each way, but I didn't hear back from either of them after that. I wonder if it's problematic for them to receive letters from an American. I'll mention it to Tanya in my next letter to her."

After karate class, Kara and I ate lunch together, relaxed for a bit, then dressed to go to Fawn's recital. We'd offered the extra tickets to Kurt and Kathy, and they'd accepted. They arrived with Kristin, whom they left with Elyse, and then the four of us walked to the UofC chapel for Fawn's recital.

Once we were seated, I scanned the program and saw that Fawn would play something called Sonata in E-flat, K. 26 by Mozart, and she'd be accompanied by a piano. Her string quartet would play Mozart's String Quartet No. 5 in F major, K. 158. I looked around the hall and saw Doctor Barton and Belinda seated three rows in front of us and to our right. The rest of the program included selections from Shostakovich, Mahler, Brahms, and Schubert. The program looked to be just over two hours in length.

Fawn's performances were fantastic, and she looked stunning in an emerald green dress. Both performances were met with thunderous applause. I had very little experience with classical music, but even I could tell that she was worthy of the approval she was receiving from the audience. The rest of the performances were quite good, but none of them engendered the over-the-top response that Fawn's two pieces had.

"I see why she's at the top of her class," I said as we left the chapel.

"We should have her teach the kids how to play the violin when she's babysitting!" Kathy exclaimed. "It almost seems a waste of her time and talent to just sit with the kids."

"Can you imagine Jesse with a violin?" I chuckled. "It'd be like John Belushi in Animal House!"

Kurt laughed hard, "Slamming it into the wall and then saying 'Sorry'?"

"Pretty much," I said. "Pete Townshend of The Who did that a lot. Without the 'sorry' part!"

"Speaking of them," Kurt said. "were you at that concert in Cincinnati?"

"No. I was in Sweden when that happened. I have a copy of a Swedish newspaper describing the tragedy. A lot of parents in Cincinnati wouldn't let their kids go to concerts after that."

"What are we doing for the rest of the afternoon?" Kathy asked.

"Helping Elyse set up for the party, if that's OK with you guys."

"Sure," Kathy said. "I just need to nurse Kristin when we get to your house."

We spent the rest of the afternoon doing whatever Elyse needed to have done, interrupted by Trick-or-Treaters, who started ringing the doorbell around 6:00pm. We had the usual collections of ghosts, goblins, witches, skeletons, and fairy princesses in the hour before our guests began to arrive. Fawn arrived about 6:45pm and I directed her back to the coach house after complimenting her on the wonderful performance that afternoon.

Our first guest arrived just before 7:00pm.

"Alex!" I said, greeting our breakfast host with a hearty handshake.

He was wearing a 'Dracula' cape and fangs, and had white 'pancake' makeup on. The young woman with him, who I assumed was his wife, Sam, was dressed as a very sexy Catholic schoolgirl, and she had red makeup on her neck to simulate the vampire bite.

"Hi, Steve! This is my wife Samantha."

She was indeed about my age, and, to be blunt, smoking hot. She was the girl in the room that all eyes would gravitate to. Well, unless Kara was in the room with her. If they were on opposite sides of the room, every male in the room would need to have their head on a swivel.

"Nice to meet you, Sam!" I said, shaking her hand gently. "Just go straight down the hall, open the door, and get into the elevator. Press '3' to get to the attic room where the main party is. The basement has a pool table and sauna, but you'll need to use the stairs to get there. Food is spread around the house and in the backyard."

"Thanks!" Alex said. "I have to ask, who are you supposed to be?"

"Why, the Dread Pirate Roberts, of course!" I chuckled, and pointed to Kara, "And that's Princess Buttercup!"

"You lost me," Alex said.

"I guess The Princess Bride wasn't as popular as I thought it might be."

"Never saw it," Alex said.

"You should," I said. "It's hilarious! Anyway, welcome!"

They walked past me towards the elevator just as Karl, Ginny, Howard, and four guys I didn't recognize came up the steps.

"Hello, Commander!" I said. "Hansel and Gretel, right?"

He laughed, "You got it the first time! Steve, you know Howard, of course. The other men are Phil, Jon, Dale, and Clayton. All officers."

"Just a lowly enlisted man's son here," I chuckled.

"Don't listen to him, men. His dad was a Chief who was awarded two Purple Hearts and a Navy Cross in World War II, and has some great sea stories to tell."

Shit, I thought. I hadn't heard those sea stories! It had to be a Navy thing, and I wasn't in the fraternity, so to speak. They must have talked more at the wedding than I thought they had.

"You know the way, Karl, it's an open house. It's nice to meet all of you!"

I shook hands with everyone as they came in, though Ginny gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. I winked at Karl, who rolled his eyes.

Before my sister relieved me at the front door, I handed out candy to another dozen kids, and let in two of Kara's friends, as well as Tasha, Heather, Penny, and Ned. Penny and Ned had come as a warlock and a witch, and her costume was probably right on the edge of what Alice would tolerate in terms of being sexy.