Chapter 11

July 2009, Sudan

My sleep on the sofa was not that bad, but now I had nightmares. Those nightmares had nothing to do with my past. They dealt with my future: how I would fail to protect my loved ones, and how my loved ones decided to abandon me. In a way, that had been the story of my life.

As it was still dark I laid awake on the sofa evaluating my life. There had been moments when I wondered if I had been anything more than a piece of driftwood in a river. There had been some slack water, but there had been some rapids, too. Pam had been there with me all the time and she had hardly ever criticized my actions. What more could a dad expect? I closed my eyes ignoring the very subdued background voices coming from the bedroom.

2006 – From Central America to Togo, Africa

Three days after my meeting with Sister Maria I was sitting in a plane on our flight number three – out of six on our route – with Pam. Without any warning I heard the words any father fears more than anything else in the world, as Pam came back from the plane toilet.

"Dad, I think my period's started."

Yes, Pam started her first periods ever on our flight from Bogota to Sao Paulo. Since the Company wanted to route us so that we avoided all US airlines and airfields, we took 'a long long road' to Togo. Yes, my next assignment would be in the middle of Africa.

I checked my watch and there was still almost five hours left of our six hour flight. I swallowed my pride and went searching for a stewardess. Even though I had developed quite a decent ability in Spanish, I now noted that there were some serious gaps in my vocabulary! I could see the stewardesses getting amused but they kept on looking at me like they did not understand what I was asking of them. It was when I explained them that it was her first period, ever, and that her mother was no longer around to assist us, that they understood and one of them followed me.

"Un momento."

"Gracias!"

Then one of the stewardesses walked over to Pam and asked her to follow her to the toilet. A bit more than half an hour later Pam was snoring comfortably in her seat, and I was able to breathe again. The stewardess who had helped Pam stopped by me.

"You look quite young to have a daughter of her age."

"Her mother had her very young and I adopted her when we married."

She was silent for a while.

"She told me about her mother. You have quite a responsibility in raising her alone."

"She is a good daughter."

"Her mother must have been quite a beauty."

"Yes, she was."

"Soon you will be chasing boys away from her."

Once she saw my horrified look she started giggling and then she put her hand in my lap.

"Don't worry, by that time you certainly will have found some nice woman to help you with her. You are quite a catch, yourself."

I could feel her hand when she continued.

"My colleagues have promised to look after her if you need to relax a bit."

I may be a bit slow occasionally, but sometimes, even I can get it.

It turned out that the crew would spend the night in the same airport hotel with us. My new friend volunteered to help Pam and me since we'd need to do some shopping before our flight to Heathrow. Of course that help came with a price but for once I was willing to pay for the service.

When Pam and I prepared to start our next series of flights in clean clothes and our stomachs full I suddenly started having second thoughts about my behavior in front of my daughter. I turned my attention to Pam and started explaining my recent behavior to her. After a moment she put a finger on my lips to silence me.

"Dad, don't worry. You're the best."

Then she kissed my cheek. I was on cloud nine all the way to Heathrow.

All the positive thoughts were needed since in three hours there was no extra time while changing planes in Heathrow. Changing planes in Casablanca would probably never be fun. When we finally arrived in Togo, I was not surprised that, though we were there, our luggage was not. Nor was I surprised that there was no one to meet us at the airport. Once again I would be officially paid by a charity project, and those were never overpopulated.

A week later we had settled in. For the second time I would help to build a hospital, but this time I would carry much more responsibility straight from the beginning. Pam would start in the international school, together with the offspring of the people working at the embassies. Talk about change of status. Now we were on our way to meet the doctor whom I would be contacting regarding the new hospital. I had managed to arrange that she would take a look at Pam.

Nothing had prepared me for what was waiting for us inside the examination room. Once I had made the appointment, I knew that the doctor was a she, but she had no permanent assistant and she had sounded a bit stressed. What I saw there was a beautiful woman in her late twenties, the color of her flawless skin reminded me of coffee with a little milk and her dark short hair seemed to be in constant disarray. But what really touched me was her voice. She spoke English to us with French accent. Irrésistible. I decided right there that I'd need to learn to speak French.

Once the introductions were over and it was time to examine Pam, I prepared to make myself scarce. When I rose from my chair Pam turned to me while undressing herself.

"Dad, you don't have to leave. You might as well hear everything Marie wants to say."

Yes, our doctor's name was Marie, and she was from Southern France. But the way Pam had spoken to me and how she looked at me caught me totally unprepared. Even if Pam and I were quite casual when we were together, this was something different. So I blushed – thanks to my small town upbringing. Pam giggled a bit and that caused me to blush even more. When I managed to turn my chair away from them she was already standing there proudly in her panties and now also Marie was giggling. That little squirt that done it on purpose, since she knew exactly how I would react.