Chapter 2

"You're, um, going to live ... here?"

Outwardly, I thought I was playing it cool. Probably. Maybe.

Inside, I was a mess. A jumble of emotions.

I knew I was attracted to Zoey. That was obvious. Why deny it? And for some reason, she was attracted to me. That, or she really enjoyed making me squirm.

And whatever back and forth we'd had, it was all entertainment, to be honest. If I was single, I would've become obsessed with her after her come-ons. I would have been at the bookstore daily. Shit, hourly. I would not play it cool.

But now, I had a girlfriend to focus on. One that I loved. Probably. Maybe.

Having Zoey here would cause a fight. A lot of them. Beth was so insecure and unpredictable.

"I mean, if you're not okay with that..." Beth said derisively.

"Huh?" Jeez, I must've checked out there.

"I said I really need somebody here, I need the money, and if you're not..." Beth continued.

"No, no, it's fine. I mean, I have no problem with it. Zoey, uh, Zoey is good people..." She's great people. She's hot fucking people. She's walking Viagra.

"Besides," I continued, "I don't even live here. What kind of asshole would I be if I had a problem with this?"

I looked at Zoey and she was looking right back at me. It wasn't the look of raw hunger that seemed to be her default face. It was more of a pouting look, but not like an "on purpose" pouting look. It was more of a truly apprehensive expression, based on what I was saying, and her damn blue eyes just got big and sad and pathetic behind her glasses. She wasn't even trying and she looked fucking scrumptious!

"Don't worry, Beth," Zoey said. "If he doesn't like me now, he will."

Jesus, that girl had an evil smirk.

"Agreed!" Beth said happily. "You'll be the best of friends."

"Yeah," I forced a chuckle. "Friends."

I looked at Zoey and approached her. Showing a half-smile, I raised my hand up, asking wordlessly for a high five. She looked at me strangely and awkwardly before finally realizing what I was going for. Slowly, almost sarcastically, gave me a soft five.

Yep, those were the things I did with girls when I was single. Smooth.

Two days later, Nikki gathered her things. She and Beth were not speaking. Since, whenever I talked with Beth, she used every opportunity she could to talk shit about Nikki, but in that Disney Channel "Beth" sort of way. It was cute.

"She was impossible. She left soda cans everywhere. It was like she lived inside of a, um, a trash can at a bowling alley."

"She left all her dirty towels on the floor in the bathroom. If I wouldn't have minded smelling like Nikki mildew, I could've slept in the bathroom."

She wasn't funny or anything, but god help her, she tried so hard.

Beth said two words to her: "Hi" when she knocked on the front door, and "Thanks" when she gave Beth her key.

When Nikki walked out for the final time, Beth immediately hugged me and started crying.

Women are confusing.

I spent the night with Beth that night, and finally alone, I wanted to fuck.

Loudly.

For once, we could've both moaned, unconcerned with being quiet for a roommate.

We were cuddled in bed, spooning, as I put my arm over her, tucking it underneath her breasts while we were laid down. Then, I kissed her neck, lightly, softly, but with a little nibble. It was enough to make a little moan escape her lips.

Yes, our sex life was normalizing!

My hand migrated up over her boobs as her nipple began to harden through her bra and her shirt. Finding the little nub, I squeezed it lightly and ran my finger around it as I lightly sunk my teeth into her ear lobe.

I felt my cock expand and hit her thigh, and I thrust into her as my nibbles, bites and licks became more passionate.

But as soon as I humped my cock into her leg, she pulled back and jumped out of bed.

"Is that all you think about?" Beth said, pulling her shirt down, as it had ridden up slightly. "Can't you just hold me without trying to wave, that, at me?" she said, frustrated, pointing at my tented shorts. "I'm just, I..." she forced out before running to the bathroom and closing the door.

I just lied there, rubbing my dick and looking up to the ceiling. Then, getting progressively louder, I heard sobs from behind the door.

I got up and walked toward the bathroom, ready to say something. But I knew from experience to be quiet, or deal with the consequences.

Women are sooo fucking confusing!

I ended up sleeping on the couch that night. I was waiting in the bed for her once she came out of the bathroom and I made sure to hug her tight. Only hold her, like she wanted.

It still felt awkward, so I kissed her lightly on her cheek. And she groaned, upset.

I froze. I was just trying to be nice and comfort her for whatever the hell it was that was bothering her, because I couldn't even keep track at that point. Eventually, I lifted my arm off of her and lied on my back and stared at the ceiling. That lasted for about five minutes as I replayed the situation in my head. I was only pondering as neither of us touched each other.

I got up and told her I was going to get a glass of water, asking her if she needed anything. She said nothing.

I got my drink and just crashed on the couch.

In the morning, in pure Beth style, she woke up like she hadn't a care in the world as she came to the couch and kissed me on my cheek to say good morning.

Whatever.

"Do you have any plans today?" she asked me.

"No, just reading a bit. You know, finals are in a few weeks."

"Will you be around at noon or so?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Why?"

She exhaled. "I need to work at 11 and Zoey was going to move in today. She doesn't have anybody to help her. Could you wait here for her and help?"

My eyes got big and my breath caught in my throat. "Uh, um, I don't know. I might be studying then..."

"You just said you'd be around. It should only take like an hour."

"But, doesn't she, like, have some guy that could help her?"

"She has no boyfriend and she just moved here for school, and..." Beth stopped and glared at me, utilizing the most powerful of feminine tricks - the stink eye.

"I knew it. You don't like her!" Beth accused me. If she only knew, I liked her TOO MUCH!

"It's not that. It's just..."

"It's just what?" Beth pushed.

For Beth's benefit, I had to come up with something. Anything.

"She is just, like you told me ... Inappropriate. I just worry you'll, I don't know..."

She got a sad yet angry look on her face. She turned her head away from me and made that grunt noise she always made when she was insulted or upset.

"I'll what? Freak out? Freak out that she might say 'slut'?" Beth said, whispering that final word sarcastically. "Or 'whore'? Or 'fuck'? Why does everybody worry that I'm going to freak out?!"

I violated the rule. I acknowledged it.

Her secret.

What had happened to her.

That she was sensitive.

Different.

I wonder if Zoey even knew about Beth's story. Her history. I doubted it. Either way, I had fucked up yet again.

"I just, never mind," I said, reserving myself. "I'll be here. At noon. Don't worry."

She continued shaking her head. "Good," she said with a shade of anger in her voice. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready for work." With that, she disappeared.

Honestly, I kind of didn't care about Zoey at that point. I was absolutely exhausted from seeing Beth be broken. Though I would never admit it to her, I was sick and tired of trying to fix her.

I was just a dumb, immature 20-year-old guy with dumb, immature 20-year-old thoughts. I wasn't a saint and I wasn't perfect. I wouldn't always say the right thing. And goddammit, that needed to be OKAY!

"Ok, I'm off," Beth announced, her voice full of melancholy. "You'll, um, be here?"

"Yes, don't worry about it."

I sat on her couch while she was at the door, ready to leave. I hardly made eye contact, and when I did, I forced it, but not too much since I had absolutely no right to be upset. I wondered if I should hug or kiss her goodbye. But, the mental gymnastics were too much.

If I hugged her, she might get sad.

If I kissed her, she might get upset.

I just wasn't smart enough to play the cause-effect game with her. So I stayed put.

Beth didn't advance toward me either. She just turned the handle.

"Bye," she said, as she opened the door and left.

I continued sitting there, picking up that Yeats book again and read about Crazy Jane on her day of judgment:

I got out my notebook and wrote a few more lines, adding to that unfinished poem that Zoey interrupted a few days earlier, trying to free-write.

I didn't even know what was going on in my own mind. I scrutinized my lines when I heard a knock.

I knew it was her. And I didn't really care.

I opened the door to see Zoey, her hands behind her back, expectant. I barely looked at her. But it was impossible not to acknowledge that she was wearing short jean shorts and a casual black tank top with a yellow and gray sports bra underneath, the straps quite evident, peeking out from underneath her tank. For the first time, I saw an outline of her torso, and she seemed to have an athletic and toned stomach and ass to go along with her ridiculous rack. I could see everything, to be honest. And remaining honest, I kind of didn't care. For once, I turned my mind off to her feminine wiles.

"Hey," I grunted as I opened the door, turning my back before walking to the couch. "Come in."

As I sat, she walked inside, slowly. "Nice to see you too, roomie," she smiled as she tried to break whatever tension was in the room.

"Oh god, don't start," I said, exasperated. "Where's your stuff?"

"It's, uh, in the parking lot. And..." She walked over to the couch, sitting next to me, probably too close to me. I instinctively moved down the couch, further away from her. "And what do you mean, 'don't start?'" Her voice adopted an annoyed tone that I hadn't heard from her before.

I threw my hands in the air. "The cutesy shit! That's what! The hitting on me crap. The little notes. I get it, you like making me squirm for whatever reason. But you're living with my fucking girlfriend now. So, stop it. OK?" I gave zero fucks at that point. I was pissed and I didn't need this vile temptress complicating things.

Her eyes were big. She looked, well, shocked.

"And he actually talks! I'm impressed." She gave me a look that showed that she was impressed. Truly. Then she cracked a smile. A flirty smile, of course, because every damn smile this girl had could be construed as "flirty". Damn girl just oozed sex whether she was trying or not.

And that was my point! She needed to stop!

"I just, don't ... whatever!" I said, again exasperated. "Let's move your shit, okay?"

I got up and walked out the door. She followed and, for the moment, we were all business. I wanted to get this done and get the fuck out of there. She had a tiny $15 U-Haul filled with boxes and little bits of furniture.

I grabbed a big box. "Can you pile another one on top please?" I asked her. She grabbed a smallish one and placed it on the big box I was already holding. It was still light. "I can handle about one or two more," I told her.

"Hmm, showing off are we?" she teased me, making eye contact with me and giggling before placing another box on. I don't think she saw my eye roll.

She grabbed a couple garbage bags full of stuff and followed up behind me. The walk to the apartment was long. She parked in the far lot, for one, and we had to go up four flights. Thank goodness I had started working out. I didn't get as tired as I used to when I was out of shape.

"I'll say it again," she said to break the silence, "I am impressed. You're barely breaking a sweat. Good to know we will have a big, strong man around the house in case one of us girls needs something fixed." She had slowly descended into a little girl voice as she said that. It was so damn cute and sexy. And annoying. I sighed angrily.

"Well, I am breaking a sweat," I informed her. "It's hot out here. And maybe I wouldn't break a sweat if you parked any closer than the fucking East parking lot."

"Somebody got up on the wrong side of bed this morning," she said as we reached the second flight of stairs. "Did my roomie not go down on you long enough last night?"

I froze at that statement. What. The. FUCK?

"What?" I groaned, my voice cracking, losing that resolve I'd had since she showed up.

"I mean, not that I'd blame her," she continued. "I'm pretty sure my jaw would cramp on that big thing two minutes into it." I couldn't see her, since she was obstructed by a pile of boxes. But damn, in my mind, I could imagine the face she was making.

It was her damn "sexy hunger" face. That "daring" face. I fucking knew it. It had to have been.