Chapter 4

"Okay seriously, who the fuck are you?" David asked the mysterious girl. "You ... look familiar."

"I am Amia, Lord, your chief archangel and personal assistant. Your memories have been repressed by your predecessor Lord, but simply will it to be so, and they shall return to you," the girl said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Lord, there is much we must discuss."

"Why do you keep calling me that? And why are you bowing to me?"

"I always bow to Gods before I am given permission to do otherwise. I would not wish to anger you."

"Wait ... what Gods?"

"Why, you and your predecessors, Lord."

"What predecessors!?"

"Lord, do you remember what happened to you on February 21st 2015?"

"What, 3 days ago? Yeah, I got hit by a car."

"And then what happened?"

"Then I went unconscious until the next day."

Amia shook her head.

"That is what happened the second time you lived that day. Do you remember what happened the first time you lived that day?"

"What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Lord, you now possess near-infinite powers. So I ask you to please use these powers to restore your memories. Please, just will it to happen."

"Fine, if it'll shut you up."

David closed his eyes, and concentrated. He didn't know what this girl was talking about, but nevertheless, he willed these apparent lost memories to return to him. And they did. David instantly remembered dying, being judged and going to Heaven. He remembered meeting Luna and Eri, and fucking them, before spending several days in Heaven, fucking hundreds upon hundreds of girls in that time. So what had happened to end that?

"Okay, explain yourself," David demanded. "Now."

"Certainly Lord," Amia said. "The God who judged you chose you as his successor, and reversed time so that you could discover your new powers in life rather than death."

"What on Earth are you talking about!?"

"Despite what the majority of the universe believes, there has not just been one God since the beginning of time. There have been quintillions upon quintillions of them. Every few trillion years or so, the Gods retire, and choose a mortal as their successor. You are the current God."

"Me? I'm God?"

"Yes Lord."

"I don't believe you."

"Lord, I am sworn to serve you. I cannot lie to you."

"So prove it."

"Lord, you have powers. Is this not enough proof for you?"

"I said prove it."

" ... Very well Lord. Please follow me."

Amia stood up, turned, and waved her hand. David watched as a section of the wall morphed into the doors of an elevator.

"It's a ... an elevator," David said.

"Yes Lord, they are common on this planet, are they not?" Amia asked. "Please come along." Amia called the elevator, and the doors opened. She walked inside, and gestured for David to follow, which he did.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Why, to Heaven of course," Amia replied. She pressed a button, causing the doors to shut, and David felt the elevator begin to ascend. It started slowly, but it quickly picked up speed, until David was sure they must be about breaking the speed of light. He was a little bit worried, but Amia looked calm and collected.

Eventually the elevator stopped, and the doors opened into a series of magnificent corridors. Amia walked out, and David followed her through this place. David looked all around him, and was amazed at this place. Every King on Earth couldn't afford a place this elegant, he thought. As they walked, they often passed people in pure white robes. These people looked at them, and after a moment of realisation, immediately got onto their knees and bowed their heads.

"Hey, is that God?" One angel whispered to his friend. "It feels like it's him, but it can't be, can it?"

"Shut up, or you'll get us both in trouble," his friend scolded him.

"You two, I'd advise you to stop speculating, and get back to work," Amia said to them sternly, but still with the insatiable pleasantness that her voice gave off.

"Yes Lady Amia, we're sorry Lady Amia," the two angel boys said in unison.

Amia led David to a large door, which she stopped at.

"What's this?" He asked her.

"This, Lord, is the door to your office," Amia replied. "I cannot enter without your permission, but if you would permit me, I shall show it to you."

"Oh, alright then," David agreed. They walked in, and David looked around. There was a large wooden desk covered in papers, with a large throne behind it. David noticed that the entire room appeared to be in disarray, with papers everywhere.

"I apologise for the mess, Lord," Amia said. "I would have tidied up a bit for you, but I could not enter without your permission. Your predecessor was not an organised God."

"So this is my office?"

"Yes Lord. This is the place from which many Gods choose to operate. And through there are your living quarters. Of course, you are free to re-decorate however you wish."

"Living quarters?"

"Yes Lord. Many Gods, such as your predecessor, chose to reside here during their reign. Of course, you are free to reside wherever you wish."

"I want to live at home. On Earth."

"Very well Lord, your will be done, but the palace will always be available to you."

Amia then conjured up her clipboard.

"Now then Lord, may I begin introducing you on your holy duties?" She asked him.

"Duties?"

"Yes Lord. As God, you are expected to perform many duties in the running of the universe. These duties include judging the dead, answering prayers, determining Holy Laws, approving angelic promotions, appointing angels, approving weather patterns, seeing to the-"

"That sounds like a lot."

"Being God is a big responsibility."

"And what if I don't want to be God? What if I just want to be normal David Jones again?"

"Impossible, Lord. You are now God, and the only way for you to stop being God would be for you to choose a successor."

"Then I want to do that."

"And if you do that, you will automatically ascend to the Gods' Heaven."

"What's that?"

"A place infinitely more wonderful than the Heaven you visited when you died, reserved for former Gods. You will go there automatically when you stop being God."

"And what about my family? Will I never see them again?"

"I am not a former God, so I have never seen the Gods' Heaven, but no, they may not enter there."

"So what do I do?"

"You stay and be God."

"What if I just say no? What if I go home and ignore all this?"

"Well Lord, while you could do that, I beg you not to. I am only your advisor, not a God. And in your absence, I would have to govern without your power. The universe would be much worse for it."

"But I'm not qualified to run the universe!"

"No mortal is, which is why I am here," Amia said, trying to speak in a re-assuring voice. "My Master created me to assist the Gods in their work."

"Your Master?"

"Yes Lord. I was created by the original God in order to guide his successors in the running of the universe. One of the few limitations on your powers is that you cannot destroy me, though there's plenty you can do to me."

David had a moment to take it all in.

"So let me get this straight," he said. "I'm God. Like, the legit God. With all the smiting and "Thou shalt not"s and all that?"

"Well, what you choose to do with your power is up to you, but yes, basically," Amia replied.

"And you're what? My secretary?"

"I am your personal assistant, Lord. It is my job to advise you in your Holy role."

"This is all so ... weird. It's too much to take in."

"Lord, I should say that I am by no means expecting you to suddenly drop everything and become God 24/7. I would never ask that of you. Most Gods start off by only working every now and then, spending the rest of the time enjoying their powers in their mortal lives. I take it you would also like to do that?"

"That sounds good."

"Very well Lord. Shall we say one whole Earth day? After that, I will return for you."

"Oh ... okay."

"Very good Lord," Amia said, writing something down. "Then I bid you farewell for now."

"How do I get home?"

"Lord, simply use your powers."

"Oh ... right."

By the time David returned home, both of his kids had already gotten home from school, as had his wife. Molly was in the living room, lounging about watching TV.

"You're home early," she said to her father.

"Uh yeah, I ... finished work early," David lied.

"Whatever," Molly said.

"Where's Jack?" David asked.

"In the shower I think," Molly replied. "He's got a date."

"A date?" David asked, before he remembered what he'd done.

"I know, I'm shocked too," said Samantha, as she walked out of the kitchen. "He said the girl just came up to him and asked him out. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you honey?"

"Well it's obvious he inherited my charm," David replied, kissing his wife. "I'm gonna go up and talk to him."

"Well don't be too long, dinner'll be ready in 10."

"You know I wouldn't miss your wonderful cooking, honey."

Once Jack had gotten out of the shower, David knocked on his bedroom door.

"It's me," he said.

"Come in!" Jack shouted. David walked in, and saw Jack stood in his boxers, with 3 different shirts laid out on his bed.