Chapter 19

Well it is all up to Red. She needs to be damn sure of what she wants for her life. I'm willing to be part of it, but I will not be a fulltime masochistic toy for her. In the back of my mind was a nagging thought that the therapy was not quite as effective as we had hoped and that maybe she needed some more – not more abusing me, but true professional help at this point.

Let me call Greg, see what's going on with him and maybe grab a bite to eat with him. Well that was not going to happen. Just like every time I called since I got back, my call went to voice mail and he never did call back. I started to wonder is this is something that Michelle is doing.

What the heck, I needed to eat, did not feel like cooking and it was nice outside – nice for early December and I decided to go to Sixth Street for a beer and burger. Those Bison burgers are good.

I was just about ready to leave when Roz walked in with her guy. I noticed that as soon as he saw me, he was ready to bolt but Roz had a firm grip on this arm. They came straight over to me.

Roz gave me a big hug and said

"Peter I'm so sorry. I never saw this coming. I hope she gets it right in a hurry."

Looks like ever body knows about my troubles with Red, well at least every body who mattered.

Turning to her guy "slave, don't you have anything to say to Mr. Peter?"

I thought to myself, Mr. Peter?

"Mr. Peter, I'm very sorry that I tried to trip you last Sunday. I should not have done that. I know better now. Dr. Roz has been beaten my ass every day. The only way it will stop is if you tell me that you accept my apology.

Please sir, please..."

I looked at Roz and she just ever so slightly nodded.

"OK boy, since I don't know your name, boy will have to do. I accept your apology even though you probably could have made a little more effort, be a little more creative. Never the less, I do accept."

"You hear that slave, I agree with Mr. Peter so you will receive one last beating tonight when we get home."

"Now buy Mr. Peter a beer and then sit quietly in your corner till I come and get you."

I had a hard time not laughing but there I sat with another beer in front of me and Roz sitting in the chair next to me with a glass of wine while her slave slunk off into the corner next to the men's room and sat on the floor.

"Wow Roz, I'm glad I'm not your subbie."

She laughed "he likes it, I bet his panties are full of pre-cum right now from the mental abuse we just handed out. A nice touch about being a bit more creative. I was looking for a reason to whip him one more time. He's off tomorrow and has all day to recover and I feel rather sadistic tonight."

"Peter, how can I help with the mess Red got herself into. I know she loves you. Cindy didn't go into too many details, just told me that Red was with her and a mental mess because you walked out on her but with good reason."

"Please tell me what went on after I left. Maybe another perspective could be helpful."

So I told Roz the same things that I had conveyed to Cindy earlier today.

"Peter, you may be right. I think she's confused and not sure what she wants. She misses Michelle but does not want to lose you. Probably way back in her mind blames you for Michelle's leaving her. Telling herself that it is your fault that you got her even to think about guys in sexual way because of the way you treated her that weekend at your lake house."

"I'm really good friends with her therapist down south. We went to school together. If it's OK with you, I would like to talk to her. Tell her what is going on because I know sooner or later Red is going to either see or talk to her. If she has the background from your perspective, she has a better idea of what questions to ask."

"Look Roz, I'm in favor of anything that will help Red, even if it means I lose her. I just want her to be at peace with herself and her sexuality whatever that may be. I care too much for her to see her suffer. I don't need any form of retribution. As far as I'm concerned last week was an experiment. If it went wrong, that's too bad. I can live with that. What I can't live with is what went on this morning."

"Hey I know and understand. Even that pathetic little slug in the corner over there will get a break tomorrow. I'll let him fuck me till he passes out and when he comes too, I'll make him eat every drop of his cum and he'll know that I love him."

"Roz, please tell him thanks for the beer. I've to go, got an early start tomorrow. I like to walk through the plant about fifteen minutes after the start of the shift. That means I've gotta be out of my place by six thirty."

I gave Roz a kiss on the cheek and started to walk out – even waved at "boy" who must have gotten some sort of signal because he was getting up and headed towards where Roz was sitting.

We had our scheduled luncheon meeting where we discussed our proposal for cost reduction and the just in time delivery challenge the army had presented to us. It turned out that we could guarantee deliveries of seventy five units within five days without any increase in costs. We could shave a bit of our costs by making some minor change in the manufacturing process. Combining that with some "fat", I would be able to offer a price reduction of up to seven percent.

But the real kicker came from Karl who had reviewed the original design specifications and found out that the processer used and approved by the army had programming capacity way over what the army was looking for. It looked like that HH had gotten some kind of deal on the an obsolete processor and had really raked in the money during the first two years of the contract. Later he had gotten some small outfit in Singapore to continue making it but at a higher cost.

I was not quite sure what this meant because we really did not know what the army was doing with the part, but the way we built them, there was a lot of computing capacity to accommodate a bunch of upgrades.

So we could offer them the extra capacity at a small reduction of the unit price or change the processor to a simpler one saving them even more money. Interesting.

"Thank you gentlemen, I'm going to draft a proposal for the army and send it to each of you for review. I would like your comments by tomorrow night so that I can finalize the proposal for my trip up to DC on Thursday.

Just before five I got a call from one of Red's paralegals.

"Peter, could you please stop by the office at six tonight. Red has your final divorce decree and wants to give it to you personally. She also said something about needing to talk to you but on more neutral ground than your or her apartment. Not sure what that means."

"Thanks, please tell her that I'll try to be on time depending on traffic."

I wonder what that was about.

It was just a couple of minutes past six when I walked into Red's offices. The receptionist was just packing up to leave and after saying "hi" pointed at the door to the conference room.

"Hi Peter, how are you? Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks Red and I'm good. I hear you have something for me."

I looked at Red and realized that she didn't look so hot. Her make-up couldn't quite hide the dark shadows under her eyes. I guess she did not sleep too good.

"Yes, I have your final divorce decree you are now officially single again. I suggest that you put it someplace safe, but I'm sure you know about that."

"Anyway, I also wanted to take this opportunity to apologize to you. I know I screwed up and maybe you are right that I have not quite figured out what I want for the rest of my life. Things moved pretty quick since you came down to see me and my folks. I don't know, I may have let my Mom put some pressure on me. I just don't know."

"What I do know is this. No matter what happens, I would like to stay your friend, maybe even a very special friend. I know that a very big chunk of my heart belongs to you. I'm just confused about the rest of it. So Peter, I beg you to please be patient with me. I know I've asked that quite a few times of you. I'm trying very hard to figure out what is going on in my head. You can help by taking the key to your CB."

Pushing the key towards me "Peter I set you free. You have no obligations to me. You fulfilled your end of the bargain. It's me that is not living up to your expectations."

I'm asking you, no plead with you to grant me some time. You had offered that yesterday morning. I'm taking you up on that."

"There is one more thing and if you don't want to do that because you think you'll get hurt in the end, I will understand."

"Peter, I would still like you to come down with me to visit my family for Christmas. I also would like you to go with me to my therapist after I've seen her alone once we get there. Nicole will be happy to put you up at the B&B like last time. I feel safe down there and I know that I will have lots of support trying to figure out what I need and want. Having you close will also help."

"Like I said, it's a lot to ask and I'll understand..."

"Red, I'll be happy to give you all the time you need trying to figure out what is best for you. I'm not sure if I'm up to going with you. But I promise that I'll think about it. We still have a bit of time before I have to make that decision. Maybe by the weekend we can talk again. See where your head is in this whole thing. But, please, please be totally honest with yourself and me. I'm sure you understand that right now I'm a bit leery. I don't want to get hurt. I love you and my heart aches seeing you struggle but it's a struggle that you have to go through without further sacrifices from me. I'll be there for you any time you want to talk. Be happy to answer questions."

"If it helps, I'll be happy to talk to your therapist by phone."

"Thank you Peter for trying to understand. I'm so bloody mixed up right now. Michelle wants to dissolve the partnership which puts additional stress on me. I have a responsibility to the people that work for me so I won't follow my first notion to say 'screw it all' and run home and stay there. I got her to agree to postpone any move till after the first of the year."

"Problem is that I have to pay her some money, her share of the both the office space and the apartment. We bought them together. As far as the legal practice is concerned, we kept them financially separate. She already laid off her paralegals. A shitty thing as far as I'm concerned, so close to Christmas. I wish I had work for them but I don't. I'm going to have to find a new partner. Part of my success was that I had some one working with me who knew a great deal about finances and ways of sheltering assets to keep them safe from the opposing spouse."

"Well those are my problems and I'll deal with them. However, I may have to ask for my investment in your company because of this. She just sprung this on me today so I'll have to talk to my accountant and see where I stand."

"Would asking you for the money create a problem for you?"

"Red, if you need it, I'll have it for you. I'll figure a way. We are making money and I'll have a better idea later on this week about the future of the army contract. They are talking about extending it."