Chapter 19

Well it is all up to Red. She needs to be damn sure of what she wants for her life. I'm willing to be part of it, but I will not be a fulltime masochistic toy for her. In the back of my mind was a nagging thought that the therapy was not quite as effective as we had hoped and that maybe she needed some more – not more abusing me, but true professional help at this point.

Let me call Greg, see what's going on with him and maybe grab a bite to eat with him. Well that was not going to happen. Just like every time I called since I got back, my call went to voice mail and he never did call back. I started to wonder is this is something that Michelle is doing.

What the heck, I needed to eat, did not feel like cooking and it was nice outside – nice for early December and I decided to go to Sixth Street for a beer and burger. Those Bison burgers are good.

I was just about ready to leave when Roz walked in with her guy. I noticed that as soon as he saw me, he was ready to bolt but Roz had a firm grip on this arm. They came straight over to me.

Roz gave me a big hug and said

"Peter I'm so sorry. I never saw this coming. I hope she gets it right in a hurry."

Looks like ever body knows about my troubles with Red, well at least every body who mattered.

Turning to her guy "slave, don't you have anything to say to Mr. Peter?"

I thought to myself, Mr. Peter?

"Mr. Peter, I'm very sorry that I tried to trip you last Sunday. I should not have done that. I know better now. Dr. Roz has been beaten my ass every day. The only way it will stop is if you tell me that you accept my apology.

Please sir, please..."

I looked at Roz and she just ever so slightly nodded.

"OK boy, since I don't know your name, boy will have to do. I accept your apology even though you probably could have made a little more effort, be a little more creative. Never the less, I do accept."

"You hear that slave, I agree with Mr. Peter so you will receive one last beating tonight when we get home."

"Now buy Mr. Peter a beer and then sit quietly in your corner till I come and get you."

I had a hard time not laughing but there I sat with another beer in front of me and Roz sitting in the chair next to me with a glass of wine while her slave slunk off into the corner next to the men's room and sat on the floor.

"Wow Roz, I'm glad I'm not your subbie."

She laughed "he likes it, I bet his panties are full of pre-cum right now from the mental abuse we just handed out. A nice touch about being a bit more creative. I was looking for a reason to whip him one more time. He's off tomorrow and has all day to recover and I feel rather sadistic tonight."

"Peter, how can I help with the mess Red got herself into. I know she loves you. Cindy didn't go into too many details, just told me that Red was with her and a mental mess because you walked out on her but with good reason."

"Please tell me what went on after I left. Maybe another perspective could be helpful."

So I told Roz the same things that I had conveyed to Cindy earlier today.

"Peter, you may be right. I think she's confused and not sure what she wants. She misses Michelle but does not want to lose you. Probably way back in her mind blames you for Michelle's leaving her. Telling herself that it is your fault that you got her even to think about guys in sexual way because of the way you treated her that weekend at your lake house."

"I'm really good friends with her therapist down south. We went to school together. If it's OK with you, I would like to talk to her. Tell her what is going on because I know sooner or later Red is going to either see or talk to her. If she has the background from your perspective, she has a better idea of what questions to ask."

"Look Roz, I'm in favor of anything that will help Red, even if it means I lose her. I just want her to be at peace with herself and her sexuality whatever that may be. I care too much for her to see her suffer. I don't need any form of retribution. As far as I'm concerned last week was an experiment. If it went wrong, that's too bad. I can live with that. What I can't live with is what went on this morning."

"Hey I know and understand. Even that pathetic little slug in the corner over there will get a break tomorrow. I'll let him fuck me till he passes out and when he comes too, I'll make him eat every drop of his cum and he'll know that I love him."

"Roz, please tell him thanks for the beer. I've to go, got an early start tomorrow. I like to walk through the plant about fifteen minutes after the start of the shift. That means I've gotta be out of my place by six thirty."

I gave Roz a kiss on the cheek and started to walk out – even waved at "boy" who must have gotten some sort of signal because he was getting up and headed towards where Roz was sitting.

We had our scheduled luncheon meeting where we discussed our proposal for cost reduction and the just in time delivery challenge the army had presented to us. It turned out that we could guarantee deliveries of seventy five units within five days without any increase in costs. We could shave a bit of our costs by making some minor change in the manufacturing process. Combining that with some "fat", I would be able to offer a price reduction of up to seven percent.

But the real kicker came from Karl who had reviewed the original design specifications and found out that the processer used and approved by the army had programming capacity way over what the army was looking for. It looked like that HH had gotten some kind of deal on the an obsolete processor and had really raked in the money during the first two years of the contract. Later he had gotten some small outfit in Singapore to continue making it but at a higher cost.

I was not quite sure what this meant because we really did not know what the army was doing with the part, but the way we built them, there was a lot of computing capacity to accommodate a bunch of upgrades.

So we could offer them the extra capacity at a small reduction of the unit price or change the processor to a simpler one saving them even more money. Interesting.

"Thank you gentlemen, I'm going to draft a proposal for the army and send it to each of you for review. I would like your comments by tomorrow night so that I can finalize the proposal for my trip up to DC on Thursday.

Just before five I got a call from one of Red's paralegals.

"Peter, could you please stop by the office at six tonight. Red has your final divorce decree and wants to give it to you personally. She also said something about needing to talk to you but on more neutral ground than your or her apartment. Not sure what that means."

"Thanks, please tell her that I'll try to be on time depending on traffic."

I wonder what that was about.

It was just a couple of minutes past six when I walked into Red's offices. The receptionist was just packing up to leave and after saying "hi" pointed at the door to the conference room.

"Hi Peter, how are you? Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks Red and I'm good. I hear you have something for me."

I looked at Red and realized that she didn't look so hot. Her make-up couldn't quite hide the dark shadows under her eyes. I guess she did not sleep too good.

"Yes, I have your final divorce decree you are now officially single again. I suggest that you put it someplace safe, but I'm sure you know about that."

"Anyway, I also wanted to take this opportunity to apologize to you. I know I screwed up and maybe you are right that I have not quite figured out what I want for the rest of my life. Things moved pretty quick since you came down to see me and my folks. I don't know, I may have let my Mom put some pressure on me. I just don't know."

"What I do know is this. No matter what happens, I would like to stay your friend, maybe even a very special friend. I know that a very big chunk of my heart belongs to you. I'm just confused about the rest of it. So Peter, I beg you to please be patient with me. I know I've asked that quite a few times of you. I'm trying very hard to figure out what is going on in my head. You can help by taking the key to your CB."

Pushing the key towards me "Peter I set you free. You have no obligations to me. You fulfilled your end of the bargain. It's me that is not living up to your expectations."

I'm asking you, no plead with you to grant me some time. You had offered that yesterday morning. I'm taking you up on that."

"There is one more thing and if you don't want to do that because you think you'll get hurt in the end, I will understand."

"Peter, I would still like you to come down with me to visit my family for Christmas. I also would like you to go with me to my therapist after I've seen her alone once we get there. Nicole will be happy to put you up at the B&B like last time. I feel safe down there and I know that I will have lots of support trying to figure out what I need and want. Having you close will also help."

"Like I said, it's a lot to ask and I'll understand..."

"Red, I'll be happy to give you all the time you need trying to figure out what is best for you. I'm not sure if I'm up to going with you. But I promise that I'll think about it. We still have a bit of time before I have to make that decision. Maybe by the weekend we can talk again. See where your head is in this whole thing. But, please, please be totally honest with yourself and me. I'm sure you understand that right now I'm a bit leery. I don't want to get hurt. I love you and my heart aches seeing you struggle but it's a struggle that you have to go through without further sacrifices from me. I'll be there for you any time you want to talk. Be happy to answer questions."

"If it helps, I'll be happy to talk to your therapist by phone."

"Thank you Peter for trying to understand. I'm so bloody mixed up right now. Michelle wants to dissolve the partnership which puts additional stress on me. I have a responsibility to the people that work for me so I won't follow my first notion to say 'screw it all' and run home and stay there. I got her to agree to postpone any move till after the first of the year."

"Problem is that I have to pay her some money, her share of the both the office space and the apartment. We bought them together. As far as the legal practice is concerned, we kept them financially separate. She already laid off her paralegals. A shitty thing as far as I'm concerned, so close to Christmas. I wish I had work for them but I don't. I'm going to have to find a new partner. Part of my success was that I had some one working with me who knew a great deal about finances and ways of sheltering assets to keep them safe from the opposing spouse."

"Well those are my problems and I'll deal with them. However, I may have to ask for my investment in your company because of this. She just sprung this on me today so I'll have to talk to my accountant and see where I stand."

"Would asking you for the money create a problem for you?"

"Red, if you need it, I'll have it for you. I'll figure a way. We are making money and I'll have a better idea later on this week about the future of the army contract. They are talking about extending it."

"I'm really sorry, that everything seems to piling up on top of you like this. Do you know what Michelle is going to do?"

"Yeah, she's hooking up with Greg, some sort of partnership deal."

"Well I wonder if she and Greg are going to come and want their money back. Looks like I better get myself a new lawyer too. Maybe I'll call your Dad in the morning, ask him about the associate that he was talking while we were playing golf."

"Do you want to go and grab a bite to eat, you know just two friends?"

"Thanks Peter, I better not at this point. I just need to try my best to figure out what I want out of life and as much as would like your company, right now I'm not quite ready for it. Maybe by the end of the week. Let's make a tentative date for Friday night – Joshi's."

I was in a way relieved because I felt the same way. "Joshi's on Friday sounds good. Just the two of us or do you want to ask Cindy?"

"I'll see Peter, I'll let you know."

OK, leave me a message. I'm going to be at the Pentagon on Thursday but I'll be back latest by noon on Friday. Take care and remember, I do love you."

I picked up my papers and left her office, feeling a bit empty in my heart but on the other hand I'm not ready to give up on her. Her willingness to have dinner on Friday was a good omen in my mind.

In the morning I spent most of my time working on the proposal for the army so that I could send it to the guys for their review.

Just before noon the mailman showed up with three registered letters for me. I signed for them and went back to my office, closing the door behind me, a clear sign that I did not want to be disturbed. Two of them were from Michelle, the third one from Greg.

One of the letters had the office as a return address so I opened that one first.

"Dear Mr...

This is to inform you that I've decided to close my office and pursue other interests. You have until December 31st to pick up all the files pertaining to your business.

Failure to do so will result in them being destroyed with the exception of certain items that I may be required to retain under federal and state law for a certain period.

Sincerely,"

Well that was clearly a form letter and I guess it went out to every one of her clients.

On to the next one. That had a P.O. Box in the main post office in town as a return address.

"Dear Mr...

Pursuant to our agreement regarding certain investments in HI-tek inc. I herby give notice that I wish to withdraw my investment and any accrued profits effective December 31st.

However, in view of the upcoming holiday season I am willing to extend this to January 15th, 2011.

Below is the required banking information for you to make the transfer of funds.

In addition, I require no later than January 31st 2011 a certified audit covering the operation from the day you took over operation until the day you are returning my investment.

Sincerely,"

Well now I had a very good idea of what was in Greg's letter and I was right. In essence it was identical to the one from Michelle. The one difference,

There was a hand written note.

"Peter,

I apologize for not returning your calls. I'm making some major changes in my life. I feel bad about this and if it will help, I'll be happy to give you time till the end of March to return my investment.

Michelle is saying that she heard from M, that you are not doing very well and are about to lose your contract with the army. That is the reason for us asking for our money back.

I'm truly sorry. I've valued your friendship for the last fifteen years but I don't know, I guess I'm just under the spell of a beautiful woman that bears you ill will.

I wish, it could be different but over the last few months, I've discovered some things about me that I had no idea existed in my mind.

Again, I'm truly sorry.

Good luck,

Greg"

Shit, so it looks like M latched on to Michelle and pulled her over to the "dark side". Michelle being "ripe" for the picking because of her resentment towards me, blaming me for taking Red away from her. What do they say about a woman scorned?

I don't know where this rumor is coming from about my losing the army contract. I mean my discussions last week were very positive. I guess I'll have to hang in there and see how the meeting goes on Thursday.

After lunch I called my banker to see about my line of credit since I may have to come up with a million plus on short notice.

He wasn't very cheerful.

"Peter, good to hear from you. I was just about ready to call you. I'm getting pressure from one of the directors that is sitting on the loan committee about cutting your line."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Sorry but yes, he's talking about you losing a major share of your business next year..."

"Let me guess, that wouldn't be James Collins, would it now?"

"How did you know?"

"He's a cousin to the guy I bought the business from. He and my ex wife are trying to stir up trouble. I have taped confessions of some employees that had been paid to sabotage production."

"Are you going to file criminal charges? That would go a long way of shutting that guy up."

I wasn't going to but I may have to. But first I have to find a new attorney, Michelle just quit."

"Listen, I have a meeting with the army on Thursday, they are talking about extending the contract. Why don't I get back to you. But one thing, I'm going to need that line. Some of my investors are pulling out and I have to buy back their shares."

"I'll see what I can do. In case we need it, do you have any other collateral?"

"Yes I've got the lake house, it's appraised value on the tax rolls is 1.8 million and I don't have a mortgage on it."

"Wow, OK that definitely will do in a pinch. Let me know how you make out with the army and we go from there."

We said our goodbyes and I started to think. No more Mr. Nice Guy. M is trying to fuck me over. I need a blood thirsty attorney.

So, called Dan and asked him about the associate they had up in our neck of the woods. I told him what was going on and he said.

"Peter, she is just what you need. She's going to put some "balls" on that DA and force him to file criminal charges if you want her to. She'll also be good on all the other stuff you might need. Why don't I call her and tell her that she can expect a call from you in the near future. Probably would be good if you had all the files from Michelle to give to her."

That sounded good and I called Michelle's office to find out how fast they could have my stuff packed up and ready for pick-up.

"Peter, it's all ready to go. We packed it up last week. Red still has the key to your place. If you want us to, we can just bring it over there now or just before we are ready to go home. Friday is our last day here."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but yes go ahead and bring the stuff over when it's convenient for you. Just put it on the dining room table. Thanks and good luck. Why don't leave me your phone numbers in case I hear of any job or I might need some part time help."

"Thanks Peter, take care."

Well that was that, no sooner had I hung up when the phone rang again.

"Hi Peter, it's Ted. Do you have a minute?"

"Go ahead."

"Peter, I'm sorry to spring this on you but I've been asked to stay. They offer me a maximum travel of twenty five percent of the time. I know..."

"Hold on Ted, we had a deal. You actually signed a contract. What is really going on here?"

"Well Michelle says that the contract is going to be hard to enforce plus you probably wouldn't do it because you would know that I'm just working for you under duress of the contract."

"So Michelle is behind this?"

"Yes, she's Greg's new partner and responsible among other things for all HR things. She's the one that made that offer, not Greg. To be honest I'm not sure he knows about it."

Could my day get any shittier?

"Listen Ted, can you get a baby sitter on short notice? I would like to have dinner with you and your wife tonight at the grill in the Palace Hotel."

"I want to talk to you about this face to face and I really would like your wife to hear what I have to say."

"Peter, I guess that is only fair. I'll call her and find out. I'll get back to you. What if she can't make it tonight but tomorrow?"

"Sorry, I'm going to be at the Pentagon tomorrow and Thursday. I would prefer tonight but if that does not work, how about on Saturday. They have a neat little band there starting around nine. When was the last time you took your wife dancing."

"Peter, you are 'evil'. You're trying to get to me through my wife. But that is a good option. I'll call you back before five this afternoon."

"Thanks Ted, I look forward to hearing from you."

Now I'm sure that Michelle has really gone over to the dark side. I was contemplating leaving Greg a voice mail telling him what was going on but decided against for the time being. I'll wait till I have all the details from Ted and a decision.

It was just before five when my phone rang – a number I didn't recognize.

"Peter?"

"Yes"

"Peter, this is Lucy, Ted's wife. Listen, I'm so sorry. I ripped that lunkhead a new one once I heard what he had been up to. Of course he is going to work for you starting in January. So there is no need for the dinner."

"Lucy, listen now more than ever do I want to have dinner with you and Ted. I want to meet the lady that can do what you said you did. There are some very important things going on that I think you need to know about. I really would like for both of you to hear this."

"Peter, you offered Saturday as an alternate day, can we do it then. I mean if nothing else I want to get a nice evening out from this mess. Ted needs to get "punished" and treat me like a queen for that stunt. First I'm going to stick him with the kids while I go get my hair, nails, in other words the works done."

I had to laugh. "Lucy, you got it. Saturday seven thirty at the Palace Hotel Grill. I'm really looking forward to this."

"Yeah, me to. See you on Saturday."

I'll see how Friday goes with Red. Maybe I'll ask her to join us. Could be fun.

I was just about to go home when I got the guys comments back for the proposal for the army.

I decided to go home and work on the final version in the comfort of my home.

When I got home, I had three file boxes sitting on the floor of my dining room. But was really nice was that there also was a box of discs. Maybe I'll make some copies for myself before handing the whole thing over to my new attorney.

I fixed myself some dinner and then went to work. I made two separate proposals, one with just the cost reduction and JIT requirements and a second one covering the extra computing capacity for possible upgrades.

Thursday morning my appointment was for ten AM but I got to the visitor parking lot at the Pentagon just after nine. I knew that would be a big hassle with security and I wanted to be on time.

When I walked into my contact's office, he stood up to greet me and said.

"Peter, I'm so sorry for wasting your time. I just found out this morning that we are not going to extend the contract but need a redesigned part with added computing capacity. Because it is a new project, I have to put it out to bid. I got this morning a preliminary request for proposal. The final RFP will be issued after the new year."

"Alan, can we get a tech guy in here who could sort of summarize the differences between the current and new part.?"

"Probably, what do you have in mind?"

"If you don't mind, I rather hear your guy first before I comment on this."

"Sure, let me see what I can do." He dialed a number "Hey Sam, this Alan, the new RFP you dumped on me this morning. Can you come down here and explain briefly to the supplier of the current model what changes you are looking for?"

"Sounds good, see you in fifteen minutes in room 236."

"Peter, let's go get some coffee and then meet the guy behind this new project. I assume you have your clearances with you?"

"Never come here without them."

We go some coffee and went to a small conference room. There seemed to hundreds of them throughout the Pentagon.

We had just settled down when a civilian joined us. Alan introduced us and I showed him my clearances and gave him a brief history of what had happened over the last few months.

Alan assured him that the quality issues had been taken care of and things were running smoothly.

"Peter, what we are trying to do is, add a number of functions. For that we need a different processor with a larger capacity and higher rate of speed. Our preference is not to change the physical characteristics of the unit because we really don't want to redesign the entire system."

"What if I told you that the units we are currently supplying to you have a processor that has ten times the capacity of the original design spec? Would that be sufficient for what you are trying to do?"

Both guys were stunned. "You mean to say that theoretically we could upgrade every unit now in the field?"

"I think so, it is just a question of coming up with a way of programming the old units either in the field or during maintenance."

"I'm sure you have some units here for testing and stuff. Why not see if you can program what you need into them. If it works, all we would need is the revised programming instructions and could ship upgraded units right after the first of the year. I know you guys usually don't work this way but we actually can deliver these new upgraded units at the same price you are paying now."

"Peter, do you have something in writing for us that we can take to our respective bosses?"

"Sure do, here are the specs for the processor that is now in all the units and our offer to extend the contract at the current pricing. If you want us to do the reprogramming of the existing units, we need to talk about that."

"Peter, who at your outfit could I talk to besides you if I have questions or run into a problem when I try to reprogram the test units we have here?"

So I gave him Karl's phone and e-mail and Sam took off. He seemed to be really excited about the prospect of being able to just use the current design as supplied by us for the upgrades.

"Peter, I guess we did not waste your time. But how did you know? Never mind, I don't want to know. If this works, I don't see any reason why we can't skip the bidding process. It would just be a big waste of time for everyone."

"How about I'll get back to you as soon as Sam has done his testing and written his report. At that point I will need a revised offer from you including the just in time stuff we talked about. I don't see any reason why the brass would not jump on this. They had anticipated a cost increase of twenty five to thirty percent and had some real concerns about that, being able to do this under the current budget restraints."

Well looks like that HH did me a big favor by using those discontinued chips and then find someone to duplicate them once the original supply ran out. He'll try to bite his own ass like a rabid dog if he ever finds out. I wonder who tipped him off regarding the new design. When I get back, I better get with the outfit in Singapore and make sure to get an option for the next couple of years to supply the part.

I offered to buy Alan lunch but he declined so I decided to treat myself and went to a nice little French place in Crystal City for lunch before driving back home. I had called Karl and alerted him to the fact that he might get questions from the guy in the Pentagon regarding re-programming.

I was thinking that if we got the new contract, it was time to promote Karl and give him a hefty raise. He's earning it. I'll saddle him with finding a replacement for himself.

By the time I got back to town it was almost dinner time and I decided to go to the Diner. To my surprise I ran into Alice and Clarence there. I had forgotten that had turned them on to the good food here.

"Hey Peter, please come join us. We just ordered so it will be easy for you to catch up."

I walked over and gave Alice a hug and shook Clarence's hand.

"Good to see you guys. I'm sorry but I've been really busy and neglected you guys."

"Peter, what is going on? We've seen Red's sub as a Domme with some guy at the club. Confused the heck out of us."

"Tell me is he about forty, dark blond, about six foot and two hundred pound all in the right places?"

"Yes, how do you know?"

Well that is what I suspect ex friend Greg. Someone I used to trust with my life even though on occasion M would cuckold me with him. See Red and Michelle broke up. Red is going through some special therapy trying to find out if she can get over that trauma of her gang rape. I was part of that and Michelle could not deal with the fact that Red was interested in a heterosexual relationship, not necessarily giving up totally being a lesbian, more like living a bi lifestyle with me in the picture."

"So Michelle left her and right now Red is one confused lady. I'm hoping that she can find herself but that is whole other story."

"Michelle has turned against me and is trying to make my life difficult."

"That explains why she' palling around with M and who ever her latest sub is."

"Tell me, is Greg submitting to Michelle?"

"In some form yes, not really in a physical way but she most certainly wears the pants. He usually just hangs around, fetches drinks and stuff and the two M's mistreat some poor guy. Sometimes the three of them tie up M's slave like she used to do with you and then they head off to one of the private rooms."

"It's become uncomfortable at the club and if we see them there, we usually just have a drink at the bar and head home either alone or with one or two other couples who feel the same way."

"Peter, I'm still pissed at you that you talked the board out of throwing M's ass out. The place is just not the same. Some of us even started talking about starting a new club. Maybe at first just "round robins" but eventually get a property out in the country."

"I'm sorry about that Alice but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. Anyway, If and when Red and I settle into some form of steady relationship, we might be interested in joining your new merry little band."

By that time our food had arrived and we ate mostly in silence other than commenting occasionally how good it was.

"Say, do you want to stop for an after dinner drink at my place?"

"Thanks Peter but we have a play date with some of the others at Marge Peterson's place. Interested in being my second sub for the evening?"

"No thanks Alice I'm still smarting from the rough treatment I received last week from Red and her cohorts. I'll pass. I'm just not in the mood at the moment to be a subbie to anyone."

"I understand Peter, but if you ever feel the need and things have not worked out with Red, call me and I can either "use and abuse" you or lend you to friend of mine who's looking for someone like you. She's not into the 24/7 thing but views it more like you do – something to be indulged in moderation."

"Like I said give me a call. Take care. We truly hope things work out for you with Red and your business. If there is a way we can help, let us know. You've been a good friend to us in the past and we don't want that to change."

I hugged Alice and shook Clarence's hand went home slightly depressed. Was my life in the toilet or would things work out in the end?

When I got home, my phone rang.

"Hi Peter, it's Red about tomorrow night, I would love to go to Yoshi's with you."

"Great, when do you want me to pick you up?"

"Peter I would like you to meet me there say at seven. I have to meet a client in town and will drive directly to Yoshie's."

"OK, works for me. If you have had too many sake martinis, you can always leave the car there and we can get it the morning. See you at seven."

Then whispering "I love you" but I'm not sure if she heard me or not as I hung up.

As soon as I walked into the plant on Friday, Karl grabbed me and pulled me into his office.

"Peter, I think we hit a home run with the army. I talked to that guy at the Pentagon a couple of times yesterday afternoon. The guy is a programming wizard. He sent me some stuff to try on an assembly right off the line without the initial programming. It seems to work because he also showed me how to test the units. Better make sure we have a guaranteed supply of these processors."

"So what are they trying to do?

"Well for obvious reasons, the guy could not go into details but our assembly is part of a weapon control system. By programming the new functions to the processor the system becomes compatible with a new radar system. On Monday I should have a program disc and twenty special USB plugs that we need to connect to twenty sample pieces. We do the programming with the disc and attach the USB plug to the processor according to a drawing he's sending with the package. We then send the units for testing back to him. He faxed me a Purchase Order for those units for cost plus twenty percent for the work we have to do."

"I know already who I put on the work. That guy Chuck, one of the part timers we have from time to time. He did a really good job when we had the sabotage going on. He also came up with a couple of cute short cuts in the production process. I wish I could have him full time but he doesn't want to work more that fifteen or twenty hours a week."

"Karl, that all sound good. Let's keep our fingers crossed that what the army is cooking up works. All our jobs depend on us keeping this contract. One thing that I'm going to do after the New Year, is work on diversifying our customer base. I don't like the idea of depending on one major customer."

"Please give it some thoughts too. Think where we could fill a need with our expertise."

I thought as I was walking to my office "things are looking up today. Dinner with Red – hopefully that will lead to some reconsolidation down the road. I'm also looking forward to tomorrow's dinner with Ted and his wife. That should be very interesting.

I hadn't run in the morning or yesterday in DC, so I decided to knock off a bit earlier than usual, head home and go for a run. It was a beautiful day even though by the time I got started, it was already dark.

After running, I showered and changed and walked to Yoshi's. As I walked into the door, the hostess greeted me.

"Good evening Petersan, please follow me. Ms Redsan has made special arrangement."

She let me to one of the small Tatami rooms. So as it was customary, I took my shoes off just a little bit puzzled wondering what Red had in mind.

So I sat down. The table was just high enough for me to be able to stick my legs under it. There was no way I could ever sit with my legs crossed during an entire meal. Also I was sitting on the wall side having a cushion in my back for support.

"Please wait Petersan, waitress will be here shortly."

I had never been in any of the Tatami rooms here at Yoshie's and I looked around at the various scrolls and carvings. It was a beautiful space.

Suddenly the bamboo and paper sliding door opened and two Japanese ladies, well no only one Japanese lady, the other was clearly Red in a Kimono, came in on their knees.

"Petersan, good evening. I hope you are well. It has been awhile. Please excuse but I have unfortune to have to train worthless new girl. Please tell me if she make mistake and I'll take switch to her."

I was stunned, Red was just kneeling there, looking at the floor, not saying anything.

"Hey, what is wrong with you. Don't just kneel there. You have tray with Petersan drink."

"Petersan, so sorry, please forgive this worthless trainee. Please Sir, your sake martini."

With that Red, took the glass off the tray she had been holding and put it on a coaster in front of me without ever looking at me.

This getting very interesting.

"Petersan, Yoshi is putting together a special dinner for you. I'm sure you will like it. This wannabe geisha will stay here and serve you and I will come and check on you every so often. Enjoy your evening."

"Red what is going on?"

"Sorry Sir, not allowed to make small talk. Have not learned proper geisha behavior. I get into trouble. Just here to serve you. Please respect that."

I just nodded and Red seemed relieved that I was not going to ask any further questions.

The meal was outstanding. Red knelt during the entire time next to me and virtually fed me every delicious morsel with only occasionally taking a bit herself.

When I was done eating, Yoshi's wife came into the room.

"Petersan, so sorry that we had to stick you with worthless trainee. Very busy tonight. Not enough help."

"I now will try to teach her proper tea ceremony. Probably too dumb to catch on first time."

I've experienced a tea ceremony before but it is a really delightful thing to watch and to savor the end product. Red copied every move, got admonished a couple of times for doing things too fast but overall got through it without getting into any real trouble.

When I asked for the check, I was told

"No bill for Petersan tonight. You had to suffer with worthless trainee. We take out of her salary. Don't worry. Please wait a few moments here."

They both left and sat there still wondering what this was all about.

The door slid open, "Sir, your coat."

It was Red, dressed in normal street clothes and wearing her coat ready to go home. So I got up, stepped outside, put my shoes back and let Red help me into my coat.

When I tried to say something, Red put a finger on my mouth "later Peter, please".

I just nodded and the two of us headed out the door into the street.

Red hooked her arm through mine. "Please take me home to your place."

We walked silently the few blocks back to my apartment and as soon as I closed the door behind me Red hung from my neck and showered me with kisses.

"Peter, I'm so sorry. I know I really screwed up bad. I hope you can accept my apologies and my penance tonight as your lowly useless servant."

"I've missed you. I've been going out of my mind trying to find a way to let you know that I understood how you felt that Sunday morning. I was sooo stupid. It was Cindy who came up with the idea of tonight's dinner when I told her that that we had talked about going to Yoshi's."

"Slow down girl. Let me catch my breath and let's get these coats off. Would you like something to drink?"

"Please just some water, I need to keep my wits about with you tonight. I don't want to make any mistake."

So I got Red a glass of water and I grabbed a snifter with a bit of cognac and went over to light the fireplace.

Red was still standing in the middle of the room with her glass in her hand.

"Please sit any place you like."

"Peter right now I would like to sit where you can look into my eyes. We need to talk. So please you chose first."

So I sat in my favorite chair that was facing a love seat. Red got the idea and settled there. My hope was that sooner or later I would be able to join her there.

"Peter, please let me talk without interruption. To be honest I'm not sure what I'm going to say. So I'm just going to wing it. I might pause to marshal my thoughts and would appreciate it if you just wait till I continue. I thought I knew what I was going to say but now I'm not so sure. So please bear with me."

"Peter, you were right. I'm confused and at times think that I'm losing my mind. I just don't know. I've talked for hours with Cindy and Roz and also Doc Evans, my therapist down home since you walked out on me."

"A couple of things are quite clear to me. One is that I love you and the other that I want you in my life. Having said that, I'm totally confused in what capacity I want those two things."

"I know I was a total bitch last Sunday and I honestly I'm not quite sure where that came from. Maybe some animalistic instinct fighting back because I was backed into a corner and did not know how to get out. I just don't know."

"One thing has come out during my talks with Doc Evans is that maybe I never gave up the desire to be heterosexual or at least bi after my rape. It is possible that the instinct to procreate, to have a male protector was not eradicated after the rape. Maybe I just shoved it way down into another black hole in my brain."

"Maybe when I saw how you hurt after the betrayal by M part of that was freed. Adding to that your willingness to submit to us, to endure the cleansing and collaring as well as just being a caring and loving guy set some of those thoughts free. It doesn't hurt that you are good looking, athletic and very bright."

"Your insights during our conversations were a revelation. I never expected a guy to be so understanding. So in many ways I fell for you. I was really confused after you made love to me. I enjoyed it. I didn't want to. I thought that sleeping with you and letting you stick your cock into my pussy would confirm that I was destined to hate, no that is wrong, not hate all men, but fully capable living without one in my life. Well that did not happen. I got more attracted to you. Add to that your willingness to put your sex life into my hands by giving me the key to your CB and I was in a mental turmoil that I don't think anyone deserves having to go through."

"I think, that maybe you have a little bit of an idea because I suspect that your relationship with M from the day you walked in on her with HH must have been quite traumatic and confusing. So, I think that you have just a bit of an idea of where I'm coming from."

"So anyway I decided to run away, to go home and then into some seclusion with my Mom to try to figure out what I wanted. Doc Evans once came to visit me and we had a very long conversation."

"After that conversation I had the first really good night's sleep from the time I left here. I guess even though I didn't know it at that moment, I had come to a decision. I assumed that Mich could accept my seeing you and having a sexual relationship beyond your serving us as "slave" just like I had accepted her need to occasionally have a fling with a guy and get her brains fucked out by a live cock instead of my strap-on."

"Well I was wrong. She took it hard and said some hurtful things and from what you are telling me, she's trying to get revenge on you."

Red took a break and sipped some water.

"Then you came to visit and won the hearts and minds of my family. Mom, Nicole and Pam are in love with you. They told me that I would burn in hell if I let you get away. Seeing you around my family and during that incident in the restaurant and the next day at Jennifer's reinforced my feelings for you. Made it seem right that I had decided in your favor. Add to that our talk with Pam and Chuck after dinner and the next morning added more of the same."

"Then came the week of preparing you for your ordeal of atoning for what had happened to me. I really got back into the mindset of paying back those bastards that robbed me of years of joy being with a man. Don't get me wrong. I loved, no still love Michelle but now more for what she did for me than in a sexual way. Also I was pissed that she had dumped me and yes I guess I did blame you for that. It was your fault that you are so damned lovable and understanding, getting me all confused about my sexuality and who I am."

"I think that that Sunday morning subconsciously I wanted to punish you for my dilemma, wanted to drive you away. Well I guess I succeeded since you walked out. Of course as soon as you were gone it all came crashing down on me. You know Cindy really read me the riot act after she talked to you on the phone Sunday afternoon."

"I think that is when I first started to realize how badly I had screwed up but I was too proud to come crawling and begging your for forgiveness. A Goddess doesn't do that. You keep drumming that into my head when I apologize to you for something. I see you smiling. Yes I know I'm fucked up right now."

"Peter I'm not done talking but I hope that you don't hate me, that you can understand my confusion. Please come and sit with me hold me, make me feel safe. I need to take a break. Maybe a glass of your cognac would be good right now – just a small one please."

So I got her a glass, refilled mine and joined her on the love seat where we just hugged – not saying anything. Red had unloaded a big pile of mental anguish on me and I needed time to process the whole thing. But I was encouraged by what she had said at the very beginning and now her need to just cuddle with me.