Chapter 1

Tuesday, August 12th - First day of School

"Time. Pencils down." I checked the room for anyone still trying to write. "Jessica, pencil down, please." She was scribbling fiercely, trying to beat a timer that had already rung.

"I'm just putting my name on my paper," she said as she continued to write.

"Putting your name on your paper were my first instructions. Everyone else wrote their name before they did anything else. Please write minus five next to your name." She slumped, wrote minus five and put her pencil down, this class's example of how to not follow instructions. Everyone else had the look of relief.

"Show of hands. How many of you think you earned more than 90% on this test?" No hands went up and I motioned for them to pass their papers forward. "80%?" No hands went up as I began to collect them. "This does not bode well for you. 70?" And a few hands went up, slowly. "I've been over last year's curriculum with Ms. Kearney. If this test looked familiar, it should. It is last year's final exam. She showed me your grades and now I've seen what confidence you have in your performance. Why do you think she gave you a final exam last year?" No hands. This was normal. I wanted them to earn confidence rather than have it thrust upon them.

"Well then, why are you here this year?" I asked this in a tone that said I really wanted to know. The test was over. I had collected their papers and was casually walking the room. I wanted conversation. One hand, slowly. "Yes? Andrew."

"To learn." Brave Andrew. It counts for something. A little. Especially on the first day.

"Why? Why are you here to learn? Why bother?" They thought this was either a trick question or one they would get wrong. Silence. "This is not a rhetorical question." I paused. I was using a voice that was intentionally conversational. Kind. Non-judgmental. "Look, if you don't know why you're here, then why would you be motivated to do well? Why should I be motivated to teach you well? Let's look to the future. Let's assume you graduate from high school and then get a job. Why would you get a job?" Lots of hands. This was easy. "Erica."

"To earn money," with conviction. Give me an easy question and I'll look good with the answer.

"Yes. Good. Why? Why do you want money? Why bother with that?" I nodded at Erica. Follow up, girl. A little confidence goes a long way. Build on it, please.

"To pay bills." She said, with a little less conviction and a bit of a question.

"That's right, to pay bills." Looks of disappointment. What? That can't be right. Somehow it now sounded stupid.

"Let's talk this through. What do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What kind of life do you want when you're 25, 45, 60? Do you want to make a lot of money so that when you die they can put a fancy headstone on your grave?" That brought a laugh but not a loud one. I had just asked them the meaning of life and no one had ever done that before. I let them think for a bit. I sat on a stool at the front, relaxing and waiting. "There's a connection between Ms. Kearney's final, the test you just took and the meaning of life. Someone put it together and enlighten the rest of us." Long silence. Finally, Sam raised his hand. The only one. "Sam. Give it your best shot."

"Ms. Kearney gave us a final so she could know how we did in her class. She made that test count for a lot, a way lot of points. I think she wanted us to think it was super important. And then you tested us again to see if we remembered anything or if we were just studying to pass her test." Good answer. I'd seen Sam really working this over, chewing his lip, furrowed brow, before trying it out.

"You're on a roll, Sam. Keep going."

Encouraged but still a bit tentative he said, "So, then you're talking to us now to tell us she was right and that it is important but we didn't think so or we would have done better to remember it better."

"Spot on so far, Sam. So, big finish. How does that relate to a career, paying bills, a nice headstone and the meaning of life?"

"Maybe the better we do in school, the better we can do to maybe get into college or something." There was more but he wasn't comfortable enough to go for it.

"Good, so far. Who wants to go to college?" About three quarters raised their hand and then a few more when those remaining realized they were in the minority. "Why? Do you guys like school." Chorus of "no's". "I didn't think so. So why are you going through this hell on earth so that you can get into college and go through a more expensive hell?" The teacher said "hell", twice. Silence, and then a hand. "Back to Jessica. Why do you want to do well in school so you can go to college, a place you really don't want to go to?"

"I want to be a vet and you have to go to college to be a vet?" A purpose in life. The first. There would be more. I could work with that.

"That's good. Why do you want to be a vet?"

"I like animals. I want to take care of 'em. Fix 'em up and stuff."

"OK. Let me help you out a bit here. Confucius said, 'Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.' What did he mean by that? Wait. First, was he right?" Lots of head nods. Good. "So what does that mean? Franklin, you've been mighty quiet back there. You have a thought on this?" He was almost begging to be asked but too timid to volunteer.

"You want us to figure out what our goals are but I don't think you want to come out and tell us that because we're supposed to figure that part out for ourselves. A good goal is going to do something good, not just pay bills. It would suck to work just to pay bills. Sorry. Can I say that?" I nodded. "So, maybe we want to do good stuff or fun stuff or make the world better or something but we have to work to do it. If we like, get crappy jobs we can maybe pay the bills but not do good stuff or have fun unless it's the weekend or vacation or something."

"Not bad, Franklin. That's a good start. Anyone want to run with that?" A couple of kids were starting to sit up straighter in their chairs, preparing to get more involved. "Linus?"

"My dad says we need to have to leave this place better when we leave than when we got here, like camping. Pack it in, pack it out, you know? He says I can find a job that pays just as much for doing something that I want to do as a job I don't want to do so I may as well find one I do want to do. Then I can make stuff better. He says the secret to a happy life is gratitude and not enough people are thankful for what they already have." All this in a big rush as though if he slowed down some might leak out before he could say it all. But he got it all out.

"That's pretty good, Linus. Do you think your dad's right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, what does your dad do?"

"He puts in air conditioners and heaters and sometimes water heaters and stuff."

"Does your dad think he's making the world a better place?" I was hoping for a good answer.

"Yeah. He says he is. He says he helps hot people cool off and cold people warm up and you can't do much better than that. He says when he gets done fixing an air conditioner in the summer people always smile and that's a big deal." Not bad, Linus. Not bad, Linus's dad.

"Linus, that's a great answer. You don't have to be a doctor or lawyer to make a difference. Anyone seen "Dirty Jobs?" Every hand went up and they went up quickly. "Some pretty sucky jobs, huh. If you're doing what some people think is a sucky job, you need to know that you're doing it to do more than just pay the bills. Otherwise, you're going to have a sucky life. Make sense?" Lots of nods but not sure where I'm going with this.

"How many people think Jessica's going to be a vet in 10 years?" All hands.

"Really? I'm going to pick on you Jessica. Is that ok?" She nodded, not really sure what she was agreeing to and I continued. "Let's look at what's involved. Jessica has to finish Jr. Hi, and high school and she'll need to have some good grades. Then four years of college and then veterinarian school. If you add that up she has about 14 years of school to go. If she goes to Clemson..." Then directly to Jessica, "That's purple and orange you're wearing so Clemson is it, right?" She nodded. "At the end of that Jessica will be lucky to have less than $100,000 in college tuition to pay. That's a lot of time and money. Jessica, you're 12 now. How many times have you changed your mind about this so far?" Reality sets in. Not so sure and then a new hand. "Maja?" She pronounced her name "MAya" and it was Swedish or Norwegian, maybe Danish.

"I don't think any of us know what we'll really do. Since we don't know, I mean, I don't know. I should do good in all my classes just in case. Unless it's French." Everyone laughed at that. There's no way you might need French as an adult, I guess. This was a big deal for a shy new kid. Not bad.

"That's time, guys. I'll grade these tonight and get them back to you tomorrow. Don't forget, homework is on the board. Homework the first night? Yup. Start strong, finish strong. How many people think I'm serious?" I motioned for them to scoot and they gathered their book bags, water bottles and jackets and headed for the door. End of the first day.

And that's how it starts. They show up ready for school, thinking 7th grade will be like 6th since 6th was so much like 5th. It's not. Up until then they had been learning what they needed to learn for that grade and that was enough. When they get to my class it all changes. They aren't in middle school. I hate that term, 'middle', meaning in between more important things. Hate it. They are in Jr. High. They are in a period of preparation for bigger things. This is the age they can start to look ahead, to see possibility for their lives outside school. They can begin to dream, real, honest dreams about the future. Little boys become young men and little girls put away their Barbie dolls. I loved being a part of it.

Tough first day and a reality check for my kids. I point toward a bigger picture and get them to consider what may come down the road. The future, the future, the future. I did my best to point them and motivate them. To be ready for the uncertain future. During the first couple of weeks, I assessed 45 new 7th grade students and a half dozen 8th grade transfers. Learning modality, vision, hearing, Myers-Briggs, their personality temperament – I tested those along with their basic understanding of science principles and their foundational knowledge of history. I formed them into groups, roughly evenly matched. They would have to turn those groups into teams. We talked about challenges and goals and problem solving. We talked about team building and interpersonal skills. I challenged them to challenge me. If they ever asked me the question, "So what?" and I didn't have a good and ready answer we'd move on to the next subject. I treated them like young adults and they respond.