Chapter 3

Bing and Bowie were singing Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy when she answered the phone for me.

"Hello.--No he's driving at the moment, can I help? Hang on I'll ask him." She looked over at me. "It's Alison she wants to know when we expect to get there."

I looked at the queue of traffic ahead of me.

"On a normal day, we'd be there in about two hours, but with this level of traffic who knows?"

"Come on give me a guess. She wants an answer; we can always ring again if we get delayed."

"Ok tell her three hours."

"Hello Alison, did you hear that? -- Yes it's been a bit grim I've never seen traffic this bad but Drew says it's like this every year.-- No I know, it's just the way he is always makes the effort sound like nothing. Yes we look forward to it. Are you ready for your move? -- Yes its' all ready, should be January 3rd. OK we'll see you soon."

She disconnected the call and dropped the phone back in the console.

Reaching over, she squeezed my hand.

"They are all looking forward to seeing us."

"I'm looking forward to it aswell, especially the kids. I've not been much of a Grandpa, living up in Ullswater."

"I'm sure they'll love having us nearby."

"You realise we'll end up as cheap baby sitters, don't you."

"Of course I do, and stop making it sound like you resent that. You'll love having them as much as they'll love being with us."

I smiled at her. "You know me too well,"

"Why do I do that?" I asked myself. I always made it sound like I didn't want to be burdened with my grandchildren. The truth was just the opposite and the children knew it.

"Drew, would you like me to take over the driving. You must be feeling tired by now."

"Well I can't say I'm not a bit fed up with this traffic. I'm not used to having someone to hand over to. As Boney M started singing Mary's Boy Child as the traffic started to thin out a bit. We moved off again.

I picked up the phone. "Hello!"

"Daddy, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be In Romania with Mum." It was my daughter Phoebe.

"It didn't work out the way I'd hoped; perhaps I should have told her I was coming."

"What do you mean dad, surely she was pleased to see you?"

"I mean it would have given her time to get rid of her house guest."

"Daddy what are you talking about. I spoke to mum this morning and she said she hadn't seen you."

"Oh, she saw me alright, not for long, but she saw me."

"We can't talk about this on the phone. What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to have some breakfast then maybe go down to the pub."

"Don't be silly Daddy. Gran's cooking more than enough for us so if you don't want to hurt her feelings you'll get yourself over here and celebrate Christmas with your family."

Mum was indeed pleased to see me, as were Phoebe and David. Everyone tactfully avoided talking about Penny. I'd like to say a good time was had by all but the fact of the matter was that we all tried too hard. For me, there was still numbness. I pretended to laugh at things everyone else found funny. I tried to feign surprise and appreciation for the presents I was given. I wore the Christmas jumper that mum had knitted for me. I thought I was doing a good job of projecting an air of normality. However, I soon noticed the anxious looks. By evening I was feeling bloated having eaten and drunk too much in the day. Certainly I'd had too much alcohol to drive home so I decided to sleep on mum's sofa. I thought everyone had gone to bed when I went to the kitchen for some water. When I returned I found my son sitting in the armchair opposite the sofa. I sat down on the sofa and pulled out the duvet Mum had dug out for me.

"You know Gran's worried about you. No, change that; we're all worried." David said between yawns.

"I really don't know why, I'm okay. I thought I'd been remarkably calm."

"Oh, you have, too calm; so calm that we don't recognise you. I never thought I'd ever long to hear one of your bad jokes but today I'd have loved to hear one. What's happened Dad? What's happening with you and mum?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, it happens to plenty of couples. We've done well really, it's over twenty years."

"What are you talking about Dad? What's happened?"

"Your mother has found someone else. That's the real reason she didn't come home for Christmas she's sharing it with her new man,"

"No there must be a mistake. You and mum, you're like, forever."

"I thought so too Son, I really did, but she's found someone else and I've got to accept that."

"What do you mean; you've got to accept it? I never thought I'd hear a son of mine giving up without a fight." I hadn't heard her come down but my mother was standing in the living room doorway and looking angry. I turned to look at her.

"Just what do you expect me to do, Mum? Hit her on the head and drag her home by the hair? She's got another man. She chose to stay there with him instead of coming home to us. How much clearer can it be?"

"Well I don't believe it, not Penny. It must be a misunderstanding, have you spoken to her?"

"You could say that, we said a few words, very few."

"Well how do you know she's found someone else?"

"I met him Mum. He answered her door wearing nothing but a towel."

"Well I think you should talk to her. There must be an explanation Penny wouldn't do that to you, she just wouldn't."

"She has done it Mum and now I've got to build a life without her. Now if it's all the same to you I'd rather not talk about it any more. I'd really like to get some sleep."

I started to get undressed. Mum and David went to bed leaving me to sleep. I lay down on the sofa and pulled the duvet over myself. Sleep was hard to come by that night. I realised that I'd managed to push the events in Bucharest to the back of my mind. Now it was all out in front again. To make matters worse, I'd just forced myself to think about life without Penny.

Some time during that long Christmas night I must have drifted off to sleep because I don't remember seeing the sun come up, or hear anyone coming down stairs. I woke to the sound of voices, speaking in hushed tones, coming from the kitchen.

"What can we do Pheeb they're both grown ups, they can sort it out for themselves. It's not up to us to interfere."

"Have you listened to yourself David? This is Mum and Dad we're talking about not two strangers. We have to do something to get them together to talk about this."

"From what Dad said last night, it's all done and dusted as far as he's concerned. Gran even tried the 'Man up and fight for her' speech, but it didn't work. I think he's made his mind up."

As they were talking I pulled some clothes on and made my way toward the kitchen.

"You said it yourself David, he's in shock right now. He doesn't know what he's thinking. First we have to get him to see a doctor, and then we have to get him to talk to Mum. It's all a big mistake, it must be."

"It was a mistake all right." I said, standing in the kitchen doorway. "And I made it. I believed her when she said she could handle the year out there on her own. 'As long as I have your love' she said 'I can handle anything.' I believed her, that was a mistake. I believed that I was so important to her that she'd be overjoyed to see me on her doorstep. That was a mistake, she was horrified. Now David what have I always told you about mistakes."

"The man who never made a mistake, never made anything!"

"Quite right, but I have made something. I made you two and I'm very proud of you, you were not mistakes. There is something else about making mistakes; you have to learn from them." I turned to Phoebe. "I have learned. I've learned that nothing is forever. Everything has a finite life and the relationship between me and your mother has just come to an end."

"No Daddy, I don't believe that. Mum loves you, I know she does. I don't know how you can stand there and calmly say it's all over. It has to be a misunderstanding. It just has to be."

I held both her arms and turned her so I could look into her eyes. "Your mother has a new man in her life, well more of a boy really. The last I saw of her she was kneeling, half naked, beside him, begging me not to hurt him."

I let go of her arms and in floods of tears, she ran from the room.

"Are you telling me you knocked him down?" David asked.

"The old Glasgow kiss comes in handy sometimes. Like I said not so much a man, more a boy. Anyway he went down and stayed there. -- I suppose that means he had some sense, staying down I mean."

"Are you sure he wasn't unconscious? You could have killed him Dad."

"I don't know, and I don't care. I doubt that he's dead; I wouldn't have got out of Romania if he was. Either way the little shit got what he deserved."

"Now that sounds more like my son." Mum said as she came into the kitchen. "Now you need to go back out there and bring your wife home."

"She's not my wife now, Mum. She chose him over us. She's his now. I can't say it doesn't hurt, because it does. It hurts even more because I know how much it's going to hurt her."

"What does that mean? You're not planning to do something stupid are you?"

"No. The only thing I'm planning is divorce. I'm not the one doing something stupid. I've lost count of the number of times we were told about this sort of thing before we went out there but she still fell for it."

"Fell for what? I don't understand."

"Think about it Mum. Penny is a woman in her forties. She looks pretty damned good for her age but she's still in her forties. In the next ten years she'll be going through the menopause. What does a twenty something lad see in a woman like that? -- I'll tell you what he sees the chance of permanent residence in the UK. That's what he sees. He doesn't give a shit about her or us or anyone else. He just wants to get out of Romania."

"Well that's all the more reason for you to bring her home. To stop her making that mistake."

"Don't you see Mum? She's already made it. He's moved in with her. She wanted to spend Christmas with him not with us. The days of the caveman approach are gone. She's made her choice and now we've all got to live with it."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Like I said last night, I start the process of separating her life from mine. I start thinking about living without her. --Perhaps I should go home. I know I'm lousy company."

"You'll do no such thing. You're not leaving me on my own on Boxing Day. If you must you can take the children home with you tonight, but I want to spend another day with my family."

And so it was, we all stayed with mum until 9 pm then David, Phoebe and I went home. The following day the country went partially back to business as usual. The banks were open but the solicitors wouldn't return to work until the 2nd of January. I went to the Building Society first and gave them a cheque to cover the outstanding balance on our mortgage. I'd already shifted most of our savings into the current (Checking) account. What did we need the savings for now? The world cruise I'd planned for our 25th anniversary was never going to happen. Paying off the mortgage seemed a better use of the money. Next was a trip to the bank where I set up a new current account for myself, arranged to have all the household bills paid from the new account. I transferred what I thought was mine from the old account and took my name off of it. It still left Penny with a tidy sum. Eighty per cent of her salary was being paid into that account and she had no need to touch it.

Back home both David and Phoebe thought I was acting with undue haste. They still had the idea that their mother would come home and explain everything. Phoebe made two attempts to call her mother, no easy task in those days. Each time she tried the call went unanswered. Mum called me everyday and opened with the same question. "Have you spoken to her yet?" Every time the phone rang Phoebe raced to get there first and every time was disappointed when it wasn't her mother.

On New Year's Eve I got a surprise call. It's a woman for you Phoebe said as she handed me the phone. I was somewhat surprised to hear the classy tones of Lady Caroline.

"Hello Caroline what can I do for you?"

"Oh, nothing really I just wanted to thank you for doing the run for us. I was really worried about the girls doing it on their own."

"Ah yes! You might have told me Percy was a woman." I heard her laugh.

"She's quite a girl our Percy, isn't she."

"You know her then?"

"I know her mother, Lady Sally Marshall. She sort of volunteered Percy for the job."

"Yes, well as you say she's quite a girl."

"Now Drew, you must tell me if I'm being an interfering old bat, but Percy told me what happened in Bucharest. I have to say Penny is not the woman I thought she was."