Chapter 5

After spring break nothing very exciting went on except classes. I spent my spare time on my business as well as time with my brothers. Jack and Adam went to a few parties on campus while I stayed in our dorm to keep myself calm. I took my medication that was prescribed to me months ago. I felt what I did back in December was stupid, but gave me a second chance at life. If it wasn't for my best friends who are like brothers to me I would be 6 feet under. I missed May still, but as her words still pressed against my mind I knew she would want me to keep going.

As the next two months past with us three making passing grades with smiles. The last week of May was here as was the last day of college being a Friday. Jack, Adam, and I were all sitting on the couch we had thinking of the past year when something came to me that I never thought of asking.

"Where you guys going for the summer?" In a very concerned tone I asked

"Back home and be bored except for the occasional party why do you ask?" Jack answers as I look at Adam

"Probably find a job around here.This is my only home bro you know that." Adam answers as I shake my head

"Why I ask is why don't you both come spend it with me. I mean I have a big house with plenty of room, and a beach just out the back door." I say as they both look like they are contemplating about the idea

Jack and Adam get up stepping away. I look at them both with confused eyes as to what is going on. They go over to the hallway whispering back and forth. I get a left out feeling watching my two friends turn to look at me with serious looks. As they walk back over to just stand on the other side of our makeshift coffee table only look up to see smiles form.

"Sure why not could be fun, but on one condition." Jack tells me as I grin only to nod before he continues " You, Adam, and I party the whole summer. I don't mean a house party, but party on the beach."

I take in his words seeing Adam nod just to think of their condition. I stand up looking into their eyes, and with a smile I agree.

"This summer is going to be cool." Jack says as Adam and I nod

That evening we load up my truck with all our stuff like clothes, game consoles, T.v., etc. I lead us home that is 20 minutes away. Adam is behind me as jack is behind him. The drive is relaxing, but yet exciting as I will not be alone. Jack and Adam have been true to their words. I look back in the driver side mirror to see Adam keeping up. His car is old and only hanging on by a thread and prayers. Jack and I keep advising him to trade it in for something better, but every time he comes back with ' I don't have the money'. I keep trying to figure out a way to give him the money without him taking it wrong. Jack told me last month we both should just go get him a car, and tell him to deal with it. I told Jack that I didn't want to force it on our brother as it would make them feel bad. He thought at my words only to agree that would look bad on us. I kept the idea though in the back of my mind since that talk for future reference. After 25 minutes on the road I pulled into the drive way to only be followed by Adam then Jack parking up beside my truck. We got out making our way through the front door. I thought of something entering the big living room.

"GRANDMA WERE HOME!" I yelled letting her know we were there hoping my words made her smile

"Bro was that necessary?" Adam asked from behind me

"Yep it was, and sorry guess it's a bad habit for me." I answer feeling a hand on my right shoulder

"Sorry my bad, and it's not a bad habit as she was the closest person you had in your life before Jack and I." Adam says getting a nod

"Yes all that's true, but this is a time of relaxing and happiness so lets get this summer started off right." Jack says stepping by us with two beers before continuing " To new beginnings as brothers on our quest to enjoy the beach, and all the ladies upon it's sand."

Adam and I turn to look at Jack with raised eyebrows.

"What ... what did I say wrong now?" Jack asked with a confused expression

"Sorry bro, but that is one weird way to start the summer." Adam says as we see Jack shrug

"Hey I plan to watch the ladies in their bikinis walking the beach." Jack says getting chuckles

"Jack man your just a horn dog needing a booty call." I say as he smiles big nodding

"Yep I am what's so wrong with that." Jack asks as Adam and I shrug with nothing before our bro continues " See so lets unpack and relax before the summer officially begins tomorrow."

We went back out to unload my truck. As I started to untie the rope that held everything in place Adam came out with a question.

"Hey bro you going to need any help with the bills?' He asked getting Jack's attention

"I got that all taken care of so don't worry." I answered as they both looked at me

"Sorry man, but I am going to worry. You and Jack know I don't want to be handed anything. I plan to get a job for the summer to help out." Adam says as I take in his words

"Heath, Adam is right as I have to agree. We are here as your best friends, but also guest." Jack responds as Adam nods

"No your my family first off. As for helping out that's up to you both. On the way here I did spot a sign asking for help over the summer." I explain seeing them look at me intently

"Where and what was the job?" Adam asks me as I point down the street

"I don't know, but the flyer was on a light pole down that way." I answer seeing Adam start walking

"Bro where you going? We have to unload the truck." Jack asks seeing Adam turn

"Sorry, but I am going to see what the job is about." Adam replies as Jack looks from him to me

I watch as Jack smiles before running to catch up with our brother. I laugh as Jack reaches him only to jump on Adam's back. Adam shakes his head carrying Jack on his back. You would think they were real brothers by the way they acted. Each balanced the other like yin and yang. As I stopped to smile as I watched them walk down the sidewalk I couldn't help, but think what if Travis was still around. Maybe him and I would act just the same. I shrugged the thought out of my mind finishing up what I came out to do. Once the ropes were removed I started unloading the truck bed taking our stuff in placing the duffle bags on the couch. After 2 more loads I was standing in front of the mantle looking at the locket after removing the dust from the pictures. I looked at May's smile knowing I was home. I heard a noise outside that grabbed my attention. I made my way out the front door to see Adam and Jack talking to a older woman. I thought she looked familiar from the side. I walked over to them as Adam looked over at me.

"Bro you might want to explain to your neighbor we are not thieves." Adam says as the woman turns to see me

"Heath, are these two with you hun?" The woman says after turning to look at me

"Yes ma'am they are my best friends, and like my brothers." I answer getting a smile from her

Mrs. Talbert was a neighbor just a house down from mine. Mrs. Talbert was a kind woman just as May was. She was in her late 50's, 5'10, 121 lbs, long sandy blonde hair with gray streaks.

"Heath how many times do I have to tell you. Call me Gina hun as ma'am makes me sound old." She says with a stern smile

"Ok Gina, but yeah these two knuckle heads are with me." I say chuckling as Adam and Jack give me wide eyes

"Knuckle Heads are we just you wait bro you have a noogie coming." Jack tells me getting laughs

After a few minutes Gina comes over to me asking to talk alone. Adam drags Jack over to my truck to get the t.v. for Jack's room. Gina and I walk to the back down to the beach. I get concerned about want this could be about. Gina stops walking making me stand beside her.

"Gina what is this about?" I ask as she looks up into my eyes

"Heath, I want to say sorry about May. I haven't been over to tell you my condolences." Gina tells me as I nod before continuing " So how have you been holding up hun?"

"Well it was rough at first on top of the things from my um past, but Adam and Jack have been there helping me day after day." I tell her not bringing up the incident before Christmas

"That is good Heath as I have been worried about you. Look if you ever need anything just knock ok. My door is always open for you as it always was." Gina tells me as I nod

"Thank you Gina as you were a great friend to Grandma May." I say getting a smile

"Honey May was a good friend to me, and you are as well." She says getting a smile

We talk for a bit before she gives me a hug that I return. Gina tells me she as to go fix dinner for her family. I nod saying I had to go see what was for dinner getting a laugh. As I watch her leave walking down the beach I step over to the spot I sat just last year. I sit on the sand looking out along the ocean. I smile knowing that this place will be more special to me then anywhere I have been. This was where I actually felt a family. First May taking me in becoming a grandson to her. Adam and Jack becoming my friends then brothers to me after that first day in college. I know there has been a few bad days, but they have helped me all the way. It's not long that I am joined by my two brothers. Jack hands me a beer that I accept as they both sit on either side of me. As we drink our beers watching the waves.

"It's moments like this that speak volumes." Adam says getting Jack and I to agree

"Well guys a toast, May our summer draw us closer as friends as well as brothers, and to each sunrise brings a better day towards a wonderful future." I say getting smiles as our bottles clank together

After the brother bonding I find out the job they went to check was Life Guards wanted. Adam and Jack both expressed they were taking the jobs. I nodded as well smiled to them. They both looked excited about the thought of being on the beach especially Jack. I had to chuckle to the image of him helping some damsel in distress. It would be more like him saving a fling, but getting knocked down. I had to only feel bad for the goof ball as he tries so hard to find love. Adam although was the shy one of us three. He was a smart, caring, and loving guy. I hoped that one day he would find that one who would see him for his heart.

After dinner which was pizza we watched some t.v. until around 10 p.m. when I called it a night. I made sure the house was locked up to keep those I cared for safe. I went up the stairs to my bedroom only to go look from the big window at the ocean. I sighed looking up at the moon that was shining so brightly upon the water. My mind wondered to the past on the west coast. Of all the times as a child being with the family I loved. The days back then seemed to feel magical, but it was all a illusion after my father died. My brother and sister changed for the worse. My mother was loving one summer to only change the next. They say life has it's up and downs as family has there moments. My mind traveled to those that took me in after that day I returned home before my 17th birthday. A family that stood by me for two years giving me love to keep my heart strong, but their kids betray me causing my heart to grow cold. I felt my heart racing telling me I had to calm down before I fell to the floor. I looked up at the moon one last time with words that would soothe it's beams of light.

"Dad may you never stop watching over me. Grandma May you shall always be in my heart. As I say these words please keep those that are with me in this house safe. Let them know they are my beacons as you two were, and still are in my dreams." As I speak those words I smile going to my bed for some restful sleep

Those next two weeks of June were great. Jack and Adam got the jobs as Life Guards which was fun watching Jack be one as his eyes were mostly on the young women and older ones. Adam was the good one shaking his head as Jack would get knocked down as I predicted. I worked on my business just relaxing on the beach under the sun. I had my glass of tea, ice cooler, and laptop, plus my chair I always sat in the summer before. It was the last Wednesday of June that things got interesting. I was in my spot on the beach when I heard a commotion just not far from where I was. I turned to see Adam and Jack being somewhat out numbered by some locals. It's at that moment I see Adam get shoved hard enough that he landed on his ass in the sand. I don't know what came over me as I snapped. I got up quickly running over just to see Jack stand between Adam and the idiot. I ran hearing Jack yell as I saw Adam get up from where he landed. Once I got to where they all stood I cut between Jack and the muscle bound idiot.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" I yelled asking them very mad

"That asshole was kissing my girl." The guy says as I turn to see Adam shaking his head

"I was giving her mouth to mouth after she almost drowned." Adam says protesting with some anger

"Bullshit I saw you after coming back from my car." The guy says with his own anger

I think for a moment until I shoot the guy a look of stupidity at his behavior.

"So you left your girlfriend alone to get something from your car?" I ask seeing him nod before continuing " And what was it your brain dip shit. Any person knows when the waves get as high as they are today not to leave a person out there alone."

He looks at me with some hint of being a idiot. He turns looking at his two friends standing on either side of him. I watch as he turns around looking at the girl that is still coughing.

"Janice is what they he says true? Did I jump the gun and screw up again?" He asked her getting a nod

He turns back with some worry as if feeling stupid. He looks at the three of us as not seeing my brothers or I standing down.

"Look I am sorry for shoving your friend as I usually jump before asking questions. I am sorry for my ignorance man." He says as I turn to my bro Adam

"Well is that good for you bro?" I ask seeing Adam look at the guy standing in front of me

"Yes, but next time make sure she is out of the water before you check on your car." Adam says getting a nod

We all shake hands before they go back to relaxing. We find out the guys name is Mark, and that him and his buddies just graduated high school. I stay to make sure Adam is ok as I feel my body shake. I guess Jack and Adam notice seeing their eyes show concern,

"Heath you ok man? Your not having a attack are you?" Adam asks as my head shakes

"No, but I think it was close. I just need to go back to my chair." I say as they both help me back before returning to their stations on the beach

I spend the rest of the day relaxing as around 5 p.m. my brothers come over to join me getting a beer before they do. After a hour of them relaxing Jack goes in to start dinner around 6 p.m. Adam is still worried about me from the incident earlier and he stays close just in case. After dinner and a movie I turn in about 9:30 that night. I guess my heart beating over time did wear me out. That night I sleep soundly with no dreams of hurt or pain. Just dreams of happiness, care, and love. May is there this time with concern, but also a smile holding me on the beach as a grandmother would. May told me she was proud of all I have done. I told her I was glad as I never wanted to make her never not be. As my dream ended she gave me a kiss on the right cheek saying she would see me another time. I smiled as she faded away as she walked upon the ocean. I sat on the beach as always in my dreams watching what was just out my back door ... the ocean.

Selena's POV: Middle of July day before Heath's Birthday

Tiffany wasn't lying about the pain of giving birth. It feels like my vagina is about to explode. My mother and Chris are helping me with my breathing exercises as I squeeze their hands. Everyone else is out in the waiting room except one person that I prayed would of been. My eyes are burning from all the crying I have done. I have a earplug in my ear to help me through the pain also. The song is of how I feel, but also of how I think the man I called my brother and still do is feeling. As it plays I push listening to the words.

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There're secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Or maybe I'm just blind...

Or maybe I'm just blind...

[Chorus]
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone...

When your education X-Ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

[Chorus]

Or maybe I'm just blind...

[Chorus]

Love me when I'm gone...

Love me when I'm gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone

"OH GOD THE PAIN!" I yell as the doctor told me to hold

"Almost there Selena just one more good push." She tells me as I just nod

"Your doing fine honey stay focused on your breathing." My mother tells me as I breathe

"Now push Selena." The doctor tells as I do

I feel my vaginal muscles work as I push again squeezing harder on my mom and Chris's hand's. I am told to lay back and relax. It's just a few seconds later that I hear a loud cry coming from down between my legs. The doctor asked Chris if he wanted to cut the cord in which he nodded making his way over to do just that. I look to see my baby being handed to a nurse who walks over to clean him up. Chris and I found out I was having a boy. We smiled at the thought of a boy. After a few more minutes the nurse brought our baby over handing him to me. Chris stepped back over to my right to see our little bundle of joy. As my mother leans over to see her grandson the same nurse comes over to ask for the name we chose. I look up at Chris who is looking at the baby. I see his eyes water up as he smiles. I know what name he is going to use as I nod.

"Heath Alexander Jarvison." Chris says as the nurse writes the name down

As I hold my son I can only feel happiness, but sadness at the same time. I am happy for having my son, but sad that his uncle isn't here to see him. I have tears looking down at the baby as I am being stitched up.

"Selena you ok honey?" My mother asks sounding concerned

"Yes and No. I wish my brother was here. He should be here to meet his little nephew." I say as my mother places her hand on my left cheek

"Honey I know you do, but you know why he isn't here. The day will come when he will be just be patient until then ok." She tells me as I just nod look back down at my precious baby

After about 2 hours of visits from family I am left in the room with little Heath over in the crib. Chris went with the family to eat and relax. I look over to see my baby sleeping after feeding from my breast. I have tears as I hear the song play again. I make a promise to my baby at that moment with my tears falling.

"My precious son I promise one day you will meet a wonderful man. You will meet your uncle that you were named after. I love you my little man." I say as I look up at the ceiling closing my eyes before I continue " I love you too my brother Heath. Please forgive me for being so stupid."

????? POV:

It's the month of August and the second weekend in fact. It's a enjoyable Friday afternoon as I am laying out on my beach towel soaking in the rays. I came out east in search of the man who I love. I tracked him down to the college that is only 20 minutes away. I have my sunscreen, juice, sunglasses, and binoculars so I can look down the sandy beach. It's around 2 p.m. that I have my binoculars in hand looking around through them. I see a few that look almost like the wonderful, amazing man I fell in love with. As I watch three guys wrestling in the sand my heart stops as I see his face. I watch him stand only to take in his face. He has changed from over a year ago. His eyes are not as bright any more. His body is built beyond what he looked like a year ago. His arms look strong from where I am sitting. I notice a tattoo which he wears making him that much sexier. I want to get up and run to him. I want so much to be in those arms of his. His legs are sexy as well as his ass. I bite my bottom lip feeling a tingle between my legs. I have loved him for so long that I feel empty as well alone if I am not close to him. I can't wait until Monday as I walk the same halls as he does. Maybe my prayers will come true as I smile seeing him bend over for something bringing me back to the present. As he turns to talk to one of his friends I look at the bulge he has, and can't help from going wide eyed. I drop my binoculars only to gasp at what I just seen. I giggle at the images that come to my mind. Oh god my imagination gets away from me as I feel my pussy get wet just from the thought. I pick up my binoculars again to see the man I love smile at the two that stand by him. I don't know if he sees me as his eyes are looking in my direction. I drop the binoculars to lay back down. My chest is heaving from watching the masculine man as my breathing is heavy. I have to calm myself before I go back to the motel and relieve myself. I turn looking past those on the beach to see him walking off toward a big house. Letting out a sigh I sit up to only smile.