Chapter 3: The Club Nights (Reflecting on the Past Month and a Half)

We were stopped at a light. Sarah still hadn’t moved, and I thought about the nights she had gone out dancing with Roxie.

I had spent most of the night with Ryan watching a game. Every so often, he would get a notification and check his phone, then show me a video Roxie had taken of Sarah talking to another man, or dancing with them. I watched each of those videos with my heart pounding in my chest, my palms sweating, jealousy grinding in my stomach like something had to come up. But I had watched them, and I had gotten hard and then asked Ryan to text them to me. When the game was over, I had gone home.

I had paid the babysitter, checked on the kids, and then sat in the living room waiting for Sarah to get home. 10 pm became 11 pm, then midnight. Every so often, my phone would chime with a new video Ryan texted me. I would watch each video, replaying it over and over and feeling the heat in my body rise. The final video was at around 12:15 am. Sarah was dancing with a tall, dark-skinned black man. She looked like she was having fun, more fun than I remembered her having in years. She was dancing close to him, and I watched his hands travel down her back, pause briefly at her hips, and then move down to her ass. She hadn’t flinched or pushed his hands back up; if anything, she moved closer to him until the only thing separating them was the color of their skin. She had turned around then and pushed her ass back into him, grinding against him while his hands had gripped her hips tightly. He had to be hard; what man wouldn’t be?