Chapter 3: The Good Husband (Present Day – Reflections)

Nick has always been a wonderful husband. He provides. He is steady. He is kind. He is the man I ran to after my relationship with James had ended so badly because he was safe. He listens. He helps with the kids. He has never once raised his voice in anger at the children or me. When I was depressed after Michael, he did not push; he did not resent me; he kept loving me and giving at a time in my life I felt like I had nothing to give back. He just kept showing up, tired from work, and trying. In almost every way that matters, he is the partner I wanted and needed. He is my best friend. He is my children’s father. He loves me. I love him. He is the perfect man.

Except in bed.

I want to be fair. He has always made sure I came. That is true. He is patient with his mouth and his fingers. He will stay between my legs for as long as it takes. He even goes down on me after he has already finished because he wants me to have the same pleasure he does, even when I told him it feels dirty. Most of the time that is the only way I finish, and the fact he has never once denied me some form of pleasure means something, doesn’t it? The rare occasions when I have cum from his cock have been small, quiet things that barely count. I always told myself that was just how my body worked. Some women have a hard time reaching orgasm, and some never do. I had read the articles. I had believed them. I should have been satisfied with what Nick could give me. It should have been enough.