Chapter 11: Decisions (Three Months Prior - The Morning of the Pool Party)

I sat on the edge of the bed in our little rental and stared at the two swimsuits I had brought from Iowa. One was the orange one-piece I had bought because I thought the color was exciting but had never quite fit right, and the other was a modest two-piece I had worn by Richard’s pool. Neither of them felt right or like they covered enough of the spots on my body that I had the hardest time with.

My stomach was tight. I had told Nick twice that morning that I was fine going to the party. Then I had told him I wasn’t sure. Then I had said I wanted to go because I was tired of the four walls of the rental and the way the days blurred together. I had spent the last thirty minutes crying and feeling sorry for myself and the way our life in California had turned out.