Chapter 11: Wednesday

Wednesday was my day off, which used to mean laundry and the illusion of hobbies. Now it meant a gym membership used as cover for poor judgment.

I had just sat down to drink my morning coffee when my doorbell rang. When I opened the door, a delivery man was there holding flowers on the porch and a small box.

For one bright, stupid second I thought they were from Mike. He handed me the flowers, the box, and a card and left. I opened the card; it was not his handwriting.

Inside the box, in velvet that was trying its best, sat a blue jeweled butt plug.

“You already look beautiful. This will make you look even more beautiful. Put it in and show me.”

I stood in the doorway holding jewelry for a part of me that did not attend galas and thought, with great sincerity, that my life had become a catalog I had not ordered.

“You sent me a gem for a place that does not go to parties.”

“I sent you something I want to see on you. Go put it in. Model it for me.”

I took the box to my room, found lube, and ended up in the bathroom because some acts require self-reflection and some require. This one required both. I looked at myself in the mirror and held a staff meeting with the last employee still showing up.

You do not have to do this.

You are going to do this.

You are going to do this and then write yourself a review, which is your entire personality now.

I used the lube and two fingers first. The shock was not the stretch. The shock was that I did it without a complaint, without making him ask twice. I was not sure how to feel about that. I felt it anyway.

The plug hurt going in. Not terrible. A hard, occupying pressure that pulled a sound out of me I did not send him. Then it seated. I turned, spread myself, and looked at the blue stone winking at me from a place I had spent years treating as a “no-go” zone.

It looked filthy, but it made me feel extremely sexy and also like my body had been assigned accessories without a vote. Walking with it in was a full-body argument. Strange fullness. A reminder on every step. I was leaking into the lace he had picked that morning. I wondered how a finger would feel while it was there.

I lay down on my bed.

The wand came out because I am consistent. The plug changed the math. Every pass made the fullness matter. I rocked my hips and felt it push and pull. For the first time in my life I wondered, not as a joke, what a cock would feel like there. Not a hypothetical cock. His. That thought, Tyler fucking my ass while I held the wand down and chased it, was what broke me. I came shaking, the plug tugging with every pulse, and stared at the ceiling like it might offer a form to sign.