Chapter 5: Of Desires and Dreams

On a night Amber was staying over at her boyfriend’s, our condo was completely quiet. I had come home from Mike’s only an hour earlier. His cum was still leaking out of me in slow, warm traces whenever I moved. The sex had been “fine”. I had cum, sort of. It was another weak orgasm that left me itchy and nowhere near satiated. I lay on my bed in the dark and started with my fingers, trying to stay with the memory of him ... the loving way he had touched me, the familiar rhythm, the soft words. I was already wet from the earlier sex and from the way my body still responded to the thought of him. I reached for the wand and pressed it against my clit. The steady vibration felt good for a minute, my excitement grew, then started to peter out. It felt hollow. It was not enough. The need under my skin, the itch I could not scratch was sharper and more demanding than that.

I grabbed the purple dildo from the drawer. No lube needed. I was slick enough from my own efforts and from the remnants of Mike still inside me. I pushed it in slowly at first, feeling the stretch, the slight burn of something larger than usual. I sifted through the images in my mind, the memories and fantasies I used when I needed something extra to focus on and to heighten the experience.

A camping trip with Mike and his daughters. The kids were passed out in the tent and we had snuck off in the woods a little bit to “explore nature”. He had me bent over while I was holding onto a tree for dear life while he fucked me. It was one of the best most aggressive times he had taken me and I had cum hard that night. I yelled his name so loud it had woken his kids. Who also screamed in panic and fear. We barely had time to pull our pants up when they came rushing out of the tent yelling and screaming worried, sure we were being eaten by bears... the dildo moved in and out.

The images and memories flashed through my head, sex with Mike last year outside a friend of a friend’s house we had been invited to for a reason I cannot remember. What I do remember is how I had flirted and teased him mercilessly during the dull dinner with dull people and afterwards having to come up with an excuse once an acceptable amount of time had passed where were could leave. It was late in the city and the car was parked on a dark street, with no one seemingly around he had taken me on the hood of his car, my ass sitting on the cold metal and my legs wrapped around him while he urgently pounded into me and I tried to contain my screams... I pushed the dildo deeper, feeling the slick excitement building around the base where it would touch my fingers.

It was not enough. Damn, I needed something more visceral, more raw. I thought back to a night at a club, maybe 6 months prior. Mike was not the clubbing type but he would go with me on the nights where my friends wanted to dance and have the full experience. That night we had danced and danced and we were both all over each other. We had ended up in the men’s room, the most public and risky display Mike had ever done with me. My back up against the wall, dress bunched around my waist his paints around his ankles and my legs wrapped around his ass while he pounded me against the wall and the hand dryer that left a big bruise for a week. It was hot, it was passionate, it was rough, it was almost what I had experienced with Tyler... the dildo was now crashing in and out of me.

Variants on the thoughts and images of me and Mike gradually began to emerge without my permission. Now I was in another bathroom. Mikes face had been replaced with another face. One with a familiar charming and cocky grin! I’m bent over the sink screaming. The way “he” had taken me there. Then me on my knees as he grabbed my hair holding my head steady while I eagerly accepted his cock slamming the back of my throat like a piston! Then the bedroom: The way he had folded me in half and pounded into to my swollen red soaking cunt with every thrust driving me into the bed until all thoughts had disappeared except that deep relentless exquisite penetration that I never wanted to end!

I hated that my mind went there. I hated the way my body answered in any way. My free hand moved to my nipples, pinching harder than I normally would, twisting until the sharp edge of pain mixed with the thick slide of the dildo. I started fucking myself harder, hips rising to meet every thrust. Eyes closed. Grunting.