Chapter 09: Exploded

I got out of bed and tidied up the room. There were bits of clothing here and there and the sink was a mess. I had no cleaning stuff but I wiped the surfaces and the mirror over with dry toilet roll and it made quite a big difference. I did the same for the toilet bowl.

I used one of the two tank tops I had for the next four days to brush the floor as best I could. I had to get to my knees to do it but it did a pretty good job of getting all the dust and dirt into a pile by the door.

After that I made my bed and folded Trix’s sweats and tank over the bottom rung of the ladder. I placed her white trainers beneath them, neatly at the bottom of the bed. I took her deodorant can from next to her pillow and gave it a single press. I wished that I could have opened the window.

After that I sat on the edge of her bunk and waited for her to wake up. I was watching her sleep until she just opened her eyes without any obvious trigger.

Good morning, Trix.

She immediately pushed herself up on her elbows. She was jittery and suspicious. She looked around the room then at me then around the room again, like she expected I had set some sort of trap.

Trix too, was profoundly damaged, this was undeniable. Even if I could never get her to face what she really was, I decided I would show her the best version of me that I could. Someone had tried to take me from her and she had put them down. She had protected me. The least I could do was exactly what she wanted. I wanted so much to lean in and kiss her but this would have just got me a smack in the mouth.

You’ve cleaned up, Trix observed.

I nodded.

I was out of line yesterday, I said, I’m not pulling my weight in this. Things will be different now.