Chapter 08: Choked

The rest of that day passed without incident. Nobody talked about Lena being taken down in the shower.

We worked on what Linda called “triggers and reactions”. She used Kyle, the escort guy, as her example in this particular talk. His “trigger” was stress, and his reaction was to “spend” to get cheap gratification and make that stress go away.

I didn’t understand why everything had to be so complicated. If Kyle wanted to fuck a woman and she wanted to take money to fuck him, and then they got together and did exactly that, why did it need to be analyzed?

Understanding the trigger can sometimes enlighten us to the core of the problem, Linda had explained. If Kyle occasionally frequented prostitutes, even if he was married, it wouldn’t usually result in him winding up here at a place like this. Millions of men use prostitutes. The problem was that Kyle used their services compulsively and at significant financial cost. His unhealthy, addictive behavior cost him relationships and incurred him significant debt.

If we can address the trigger we are attempting to react to, we can perhaps negate the desire to do it in the first place, she said.

We talked at length about the psychology and desire and understanding our own thoughts and feelings. I tried my best to participate. I didn’t want to end up back at the Overseer’s office.

I hadn’t eaten much since coming to Renew but this evening’s boxed meal was a chicken salad. It was delicious and I ate the whole thing.

After everyone had eaten, Linda asked for everyone’s attention and advised that Lena was in a coma. Lena’s injuries were inconsistent with that of a fall and a full investigation into what had actually happened in the showers would be undertaken.

You’re not worried? I asked Trix back at the dorm.

She shrugged.

It was the other losers in her dyke gang that told the warden that she had fallen, Trix reasoned. Whatever kinda gang that they are, they are old school, it seems. And, if they won’t talk, who will? Ain’t no reason for anyone else to throw their oar in and stick their neck out to rat on me, is there? If they did, they could also find themselves taking a slip come shower time.